Sweet scent of Home
by Idratherbereading29
Summary: Edward is fascinated by Bella from the start and decides to befriend her. Jasper - already estranged from Alice ,her failed project, and wondering if he needs to leave Forks - has his own reasons for trying to get in between his brother and the new girl.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**** This is an attempt at a Twilight fanfiction – not really sure where it's going just yet… so leave me some feedback!**

**If you like my writing you can check out my original stories at ****.com/s/2870914/1/****and ****.com/s/2874037/1/**

_**Jaspers POV**_

It was the middle of March, though looking at the weather it might as well have been winter anywhere else but in Forks/Washington, rainy, cold and the weather forecast predicted snow and ice for the next few days.

I was bored. Even more bored than usually. The new girl in school had been the topic of every conversation that morning, no matter how much I tried to tune out and not listen to the chatter around me. Briefly I wondered what it must be like for Edward, who would not only have to deal with the talk but also with everybody's thoughts about her. However, I still didn't get what was so interesting about the fact that a new student was coming to Forks High School, but that was probably due to the fact that human concerns didn't really interest me anyway.

At least school was a time when I did not have to deal with Alice's silent reproach. I was her failed project, and she was not used to failing. Whenever she had looked at me recently, I could see it in her eyes. I didn't even need my special gift to get her mood. "Failure. Why did I ever bother with him? All the others think so too." Of course I knew that Carlisle would never give me up, but how much of that was due to his undying optimism, and how much was real trust in me, I couldn't really gauge. I had become careful about projecting my feelings lately, not wanting everyone in the house to suffer my depression and anger, but I wasn't sure for how much longer I could keep that up – and if it was worth it anyway.

Alright, lunch. I always felt we were putting on a show for the rest of the school there, sitting apart at our usual table, pretending to eat human food when what we actually craved was the humans around us. Oh no, Edward's trying to pick my brain about how thirsty I am just because I thought about that girl over there. Don't worry, brother, I'm harmless. A harmless, vegetarian vampire. I hate the way, Alice keeps up a front of being in love with me still. Well, maybe today the new girl will be the attraction for once.

Ah, there she is, chatting to that vapour-headed Jessica, good grief. Not bad looking though, long brown hair, clear skin.

"So, is the new girl afraid of us yet?" Emmett asked Edward who was staring at the table she was sitting at intently.

"What? Oh, no, Jessica is dishing the dirt on us."

He seemed preoccupied, confused even.

"What's she saying to that?" Rosalie was curious and in a gossipy mood.

"That she has no time to bother with us", Edward answered and got up. "I've got to go and get my book from the locker." He was gone rather fast.

"I wonder what got into him", Emmett grumbled. "The way he is he needs to go hunting soon."

I smiled. For once it was not me they were worrying about. Alice and Rosalie weren't listening any longer. They had started to talk about the new fashion sales in New York they were going to visit next week, thankfully. A whole week without Alice. Strange how that prospect could be so elating to me, when a few months ago I couldn't imagine spending any time away from her. Looks like everything has its time, I thought melancholically.

When I looked up from my ruminating, the others were at the door already, waiting for me to catch up. I shook myself out of my thoughts and went to join them.

When I passed the table of the new girl, someone opened the door and a gust of wind brought her scent to my nostrils. I staggered, but caught myself just in time and joined the others to go to Spanish class.

I did not catch a lot of what the teacher was saying, still stunned by the girl's scent and the images that had been able to create in my head: vistas of dry red earth, clear mountain air, strange rock formations and the herbs and flowers hardy enough to withstand the climate of the Southwest – home. What the hell was that? I had to get closer to her again to find out what had happened.

However, when I finally reached the parking lot after the last lesson, I was just in time to watch Edward seeing her off at her truck. I decided to block my thoughts to him on the way back and find out what he was doing by checking on his feelings. For once I was in tune with my brother and sisters who were already waiting for him at the car, frowning at one of us getting so close to a human.

As soon as the doors were closed questions were flying at Edward from every direction.

"What's with you and the new girl?"

"What do you think you're doing?"

"You can't be serious!" Alice. At once everybody's eyes were on her. She huffed. "He wants to be her friend, and", she frowned in distaste, "it's going to work."

"You're out of your mind!" Emmett summed up our feelings.

Edward shrugged. I wasn't sure what I was getting from him. Was he about to fall off the wagon? No, I couldn't sense any hunger from him. Turned on? Hey, had someone finally managed to get through to the 107-year old virgin? That could be amusing. No, far too calm and cool for that, though there was some excitement. Mm, I would definitely have to listen in for more here.

"What? Just because I talk to the new girl in school, trying to blend in as we're supposed to do, you all gang up on me? She's the Chief's daughter by the way. We have biology together and a question came up during the lesson, which we wanted to discuss further, That's all."

Ah, definitely defensive now.

"So you're not planning on seeing her again?" Alice asked in a highly ironic tone.

"I'm not 'planning' on seeing her again, I'll see her again. She sits next to me in biology. So, yes, for the next four days I'll see her again."

He was looking forward to that. So Alice was right. We'd have to watch this, before he got us into trouble. If a high-strung person like Edward let down his guard and started giving in to impulses, we could be in serious danger of being exposed.

When we arrived at the house, Edward held me back. "Don't look at me like I'm a time bomb, ok?"

I shrugged. "You aren't?"

"No, I'm fully in control."

"So Alice is wrong?"

"No, but it's not dangerous. As I said, Carlisle wants us to blend in, and for once I'm going to do him the favour." He stomped away and spent the rest of the evening at the piano, thus making sure no one talked to him.

Coward.

_**Bella's diary**_

Wow! Talk about having no expectations and finding yourself pleasantly surprised! Today was my first day at Forks High School. I was almost scared to death of coming somewhere new, in the middle of semester, and then in such a small place where everybody would be ganging up on me with their curiosity, but it turned out fine. People are really quite nice here, they don't get into your personal space and actually want to help. Before lunch alone I met four other students who were almost falling over themselves to make me feel welcome. Jessica, a gossipy, girly girl, Angela, who is really nice and almost as shy as I am, Eric, who looks a bit nerdy and Mike, an all-round nice guy who helped me out in gym later – ugh: gym every day here, there will be casualties! I will be careful though, I have no intention of being completely roped in to small town America concerns and ending up staying here married right after school like Mum did. Before she left with me that is, leaving Charlie longing for her and living in the past. But it was really nice to be sitting with a whole group of other students on my first day instead of being lonely new girl.

Anyway, at lunch I saw him. Edward, the most beautiful boy I've ever seen: gloriously messed up reddish hair, a face like it had been chiselled in Renaissance Italy. He was sitting at a table with his brothers and sisters (Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper are seniors, Edward and Alice – who looks like a pixie – are juniors like me), only they are not his real siblings. Jessica told me they are all adopted, and living with their doctor parents. They were all quite good-looking, the girls were to die for and the other two boys looked handsome enough to be models, all were very pale though. Even in that crowd Edward stuck out. Sigh! Jessica said they moved here from Alaska two years ago, and that they stick to themselves mostly – apparently everyone apart from Edward is with someone else. Must be weird in a family, though. Jessica sounded as if she had made a pass at Edward and been rebuffed, I could hear quite a bit of spite in her description.

So, when it turned out that the only free place in my Biology lesson was the one next to Edward, I braced myself for an encounter with arrogance and bad temper. However, it didn't happen. Edward was as polite and nice as you could possibly imagine, the perfect gentleman. He likes Biology too, and is very knowledgeable about it, so having him as my lab-partner is great, it could even make up for not being in an AP class here. Mr Banner seemed pleased about our cooperation as well and talked about giving us extra projects to keep us occupied. One thing though could definitely interfere with getting ahead there: it is hard to concentrate with someone so totally gorgeous next to you. At least he seemed not completely put off by my plain self, and when I got out of gym – disaster! – he was there again, walked me to my truck and we talked some more. Could the most beautiful guy at school really be interested in me? Maybe I shouldn't get my hopes up, he's probably well-raised, and would be polite and nice to anyone who seemed as clumsy and mentally impaired as me. Still – looking forward to tomorrow!

Ok, got to stop now to go shopping for groceries. A quick expedition in the kitchen showed that Charlie must have been either eating out or starving himself. I better do something about that before we all die of scurvy around here and get cooking… and dream some more about my … no, be serious!


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: THe Cullens &CO belong to Stephenie Meyers. **_

_**My links were garbled last time: again, if you like my writing you can find my original stories (LOndon Vampire Mysteries) at fictionpress (dot) com /s/2870914/1/and /s/2874037/1/**_

_**Hope this works!**_

Ch 2

Jasper's POV

The next few days the family watched with growing concern as Edward kept chatting to the new girl. Carlisle had already talked to him with no success it seemed, and the only one who was not tense and nervous was Esme, who was constantly humming to herself. I couldn't stand the tension after a while – I was depressed enough – so I started watching Esme design interior for houses we would move to when our time in Forks came to an end. Finally I got enough nerve to ask her why she was so happy when everyone else was on edge.

"I think it's just wonderful", she trilled, drawing a vase with flowers for a windowsill (all her designs were intricate in the extreme).

"What is?"

"That Edward has finally found his soul mate, and I'll be getting another daughter who, as he describes her, is absolutely wonderful."

Something clicked. "You think he's in love with this Bella girl and will turn her?" I asked in an incredulous voice.

"Yes, of course. Why else would he be like that?"

"Alice says he just wants to be friends."

Esme smiled affectionately. "You know, he was so young and innocent when Carlisle changed him, I think he himself doesn't know what's happening, but I've always been sorry for him, as the odd one out." She was clearly elated, and as I liked her best of the family I was not about to starts arguing with her or burst the bubble of her idea of Edward. Not to mention the fact that any changing of humans would have to take place elsewhere because of the treaty. I left and went running.

As in the past few nights my steps led me automatically to the house of Chief Swan. I had been irritated by the pictures that Bella's scent had been able to produce in my head, and I had still not figured out how that had worked, and at school she was always either with Edward or with the others she had met on her first day, so I couldn't really get close to her. For the last three nights now I had ended up here, but had always chickened out of – well – basically breaking into her house to get the scent 'up close and personal', so I could make up my mind about it.

Tonight I would do it. I had had a deer first to make sure I wasn't thirsty, and now I quickly scaled the wall and ghosted to the window where I had figured out her room must be. Doing that was not problem for me. Before I joined Alice and the Cullens, that had been one of the ways to feed myself. It was late, two in the morning, so she would be sleeping soundly. Without a noise I slid the window open – curious that it would open so easily, I thought in the back of my mind – and slipped into the room.

As soon as I was in her scent hit me with full force. I saw the same south-western visions I had on the first day. It drew me in like a magnet. Stealthily I crept up to her bed. She was sleeping on her back, moving under the covers as if she was dreaming, so I was careful not to get within touching distance lest she should wake up from my coldness. When I got closer, the pictures changed, I saw landscapes that weren't just familiar, but ones I actually remembered from way back … when I had still been human. I saw a farmhouse with a porch and a rocking chair. Someone was sitting in there, balancing a small child on his lap. The scene hit me like a punch to the stomach. Still curious I moved even closer to the bed, eager to take more. Soon I felt I could look into the face of the old man who was sitting on the porch. A withered face, a tall frame, but bent from hard work and emaciated from age. Kind blue eyes, and a gruff but likeable voice was telling the child a story about how the family had come to live in Texas over half a century ago. Granddad Whitlock. He had died when I was ten and I hadn't thought of him for more than 150 years. I took a sharp breath, and then it happened: My throat started burning as it hadn't done since I had been a newborn. The thirst was so strong that my knees felt weak and about to give in, while the rest of my undead body went into full vampire mode: How would I cover up this kill? I saw the blood flowing underneath her delicate skin, my mouth was filling with venom. At that moment she turned over, murmuring in her sleep. "Edward, don't leave."

I froze, reminded of my family and the life I'd been leading for fifty years now. I swallowed the venom and left out the window head first. As soon as I had made sure there was enough distance between me and the object of my temptation, I leaned against a tree and tried to think straight about what I had just realised. I was breathing hard, a reflex from human days, and my mind was all muddled up, but two things were clear: one, Bella Swan, the new girl, was my 'singer', two, Esme was probably right, the girl had fallen for Edward, she was dreaming about him, and not thinking of becoming just friends, the feelings I got from that short moment of almost awareness had been much more than friendly.

I hated what she could do to me at the same time that I wanted to get closer to her for more of these visions and memories – in short: while she could give me back my human memories she was able to turn me back into a bloodthirsty beast.

What the hell would I do about that?

Bella's diary

I would never have thought living here could be so wonderful. Edward and I meet everyday. We can talk about lots of things, he has read so much, it's just amazing. For the last few days we've been working together on our biology project, and I have to admit I'm still slightly daunted by the breadth and depth of his knowledge. Sometimes he seems to know more than Mr Banner and all my Biology books together. Judging from the clothes he wears – all designer stuff, like his siblings – the family must have a lot of money, and surely he plans on going to some east-coast ivy-league school when he's finished school. Why he bothers with me is still not clear to me, but so far he has been very interested, curious of my life etc. He doesn't volunteer much information about his own family though, but maybe that has to do with all of them being adopted or something. The only thing I don't like is that he doesn't introduce me to his brothers and sisters and still sits with them separately for lunch, as if he didn't want them to know he's talking to me. (Careful, Bella, you're obsessing! Don't be so paranoid, you've only been here for barely a week.)

But a very good week it has been – almost too good to be true. I've even started dreaming about the guy. Renee has already started asking about the guys at school, I just hope my white lie about there being no one remotely interesting worked. It should – I never found anyone remotely interesting in Phoenix either, but there it was the choice of jocks who wouldn't recognize a book outside of school if it bit them in the nose or nerds who would only communicate in Vulcan language and secret handshakes. Edward at least has read the classics, he recognizes a literature reference and has strong opinions about authors and plays – a bit snobbish though.

Anyway – living with Charlie is very comfortable. I like cooking for him, and we both need our personal space and don't see any need to crowd the other person. Friday tomorrow – have to remember to drive carefully, they predicted ice – then my first whole weekend in Forks. I'm planning on visiting the library and getting ahead on some cooking here, so I have more free time after school, which I could spent with Edward – if he wants that.

Ah – one thing was quite spooky: When I woke up this morning my window was open. I'm sure I had closed it last night, why would I want to sleep with an open window in this weather. Have to ask Charlie if we've got a resident ghost . (Better not ask Renee, depending on the phase she's in she might call Washington State Ghost Busters Inc to deal with the problem.) I miss my mom.


	3. Chapter 3

Ch 3

_Bella's diary_

Holy shit! I almost died today!

But let's start at the beginning. I'm so confused and messed up that I really have to put this in writing or I'll go insane.

It was very quiet this morning when I woke up, and when I opened the window, I found out why: it had been snowing in the night and everywhere was covered with a thin layer of white flakes. Charlie was already out when I came downstairs – he definitely works too much. So I had a quick breakfast of a granola bar and a swig of orange juice straight from the box before getting my stuff and setting out for school. After a quick encounter of my butt with the pavement I drove to school very carefully, hoping that as the truck had been living in Washington State all its long life it would be up to this weather, and indeed – it was! While everybody around me had problems, my big orange monster sailed right through to school without a single mishap. I almost couldn't believe my luck!

I parked and automatically turned my head to where Edward usually parked his Volvo, and yes, he and his family were already standing there, chatting. Eager to get to him, I got my book bag, and gave my truck a quick pat on the wing, when I noticed something on the tires. I bent down to check, and yes, there were chains on all my tires. I felt a lump in my throat: Charlie was such a good dad. He must have gotten up very early to get my truck ready. I swear the man lives only for other people, and earns their thanks without ever noticing his own worth. It might be a rotten thing to think about one's mom, but I doubt Renee would have done the same. It is just… heart-warming to be the one who is taken care of for once!

When I looked up again, a catastrophe was about to unfold: Tyler had taken the turn for the parking lot too fast, and his van was now slithering towards me, completely out of control. It was only a matter of seconds before I would be squashed between the high-powered van and my very solid truck. Things were happening so fast that I didn't even have time to cry for help. I saw the van coming at me as if in slow motion, when suddenly something else came between me and the lot of metal very fast. I closed my eyes, confused, and when I opened them again I was in Edward's arm, and he was pushing the van away with his other hand. The screeching noise though didn't stop, and only a second later I realised that the van had set another vehicle in motion which was now taking course for my legs. Edward cursed and pushed that car too, leaving a hand-shaped dent in its wing. After all the noise of the cars had died down, all hell broke loose on the lot: everybody dashed towards the place of the accident. Somebody had already called 911, the sirens could be hard in the distance. Tyler looked out of the van's window, all bloody from the glass of the windshield. That must have been when I passed out, but before I did that I saw Edward quietly disappearing from where he had been holding me up.

The next thing I knew was that I was in the ER and Dr. Cullen was checking me through. It was so annoying – why did I always end up in the hospital bed? Edward's father/adoptive father looks just gorgeous, too, blond and very young for a doctor. He was very gentle and reassuring, and his accents had a bit of a British tinge to it I thought, but I might be mistaken there. Five minutes later Charlie dashed in, looking all worried and upset. Dr. Cullen calmed him down, assuring him that there would be no lasting injuries, and I should just take it easy for a while. The way I felt I certainly agreed with that, and nodded to the idea of going home. "I don't think I would be here, if it hadn't been for Edward", I told the kind doctor. He seemed surprised at that and I thought I detected a note of worry in his golden eyes – hmm, were they related as well as adopted? Edward's eyes had the same unusual colour. "I think you hit your head rather hard", he said, and when Charlie asked how his son had been involved, he ignored the question at first, so I said. "Edward got in the way."

"Oh, is he hurt too?" Charlie worried at once, but Dr Cullen shook his head, and bustled on.

"You have to call your mother", Charlie said, guilt written all over his face, revealing that it had been him who had called Renee. "I'll go and deal with the paperwork." He seized my book bag and disappeared.

Great! I thought at first, but then I smiled to myself: he had taken my cell along with him. I got up, and put on my shoes to get ready to leave, but when I rounded a corner to get to the main entrance I saw Edward and his sister Rosalie lurking there. Before I got to them, their father reached them, and they had a whispered discussion in a tone so quiet that the only thing I could hear was Jasper's name. They must have sensed my presence though and looked up, so I cleared my throat and asked Edward to come and talk to me for a second.

When he arrived he was extremely tense and bad-tempered. "Yes?" very clipped.

"Thank you for saving my life!"

"You're welcome", turning to leave.

"Wait! How did you get there so quickly?"

"I didn't need to, I was next to you when the whole thing happened." Big golden eyes bored into mine.

I blinked. If there is one thing I don't like it's being patronised and lied to. "Nonsense!" I said rather harshly. "I saw you, you were with your car and the others."

"Bella, don't be ridiculous, how should I have gotten to you from there in time? I think you better get some rest." He turned up his perfect nose and left me standing.

That had me speechless and I was still struggling to think about a reaction when Charlie dropped me back at the house.

What the hell happened? I'm not stupid, I know what I saw, so why is he lying to me? And why was his sister looking at me as if she wanted to tear me apart? Above all, why was the doctor behaving so strangely?

Well, even written down the whole thing does not provide any answers. I think I'll take some Advil and lie down as Edward's father suggested. In a thriller there would be sinister music and strange meetings now, but this is Forks, Washington and not Gotham.

_Jasper's POV_

Now what? That idiot has gone and put all of us in danger of being exposed by that… girl. I'm not sure she's really human, to my mind she looks more like a fury sent to haunt me with human memories, with bringing back my thirst for human blood and now with being threatened by the Volturi once again.

Acting normal for the rest of the school day was one of the hardest things any of us have done in our long lives, and in contrast to Rose and Edward I could not go to the hospital to check if she had already spilt the beans on her magical rescuer.

As soon as everybody was home, Carlisle convened a meeting at the dining table.

Trying to keep everybody in check he looked to me to calm the rest down, but for once I could not do him the favour and just shrugged my shoulders smiling sadly. He sighed and started by asking Edward the question all of us wanted answered. "Why did you do it?"

Edward was defensive at once. "What did you expect me to do? Should I just have let her die? I already told you at the hospital, I couldn't do that. Imagine what would have happened if her blood had been spilled?" He looked to me pointedly, and though I was mad at being singled out this way again when I had been good for more than fifty years, I had to agree with him. Had her blood been on the asphalt, everybody would have known what we are. My mouth was filling with venom at the mere idea of her blood flowing freely where I could reach it, so I did not give Edward the retort he deserved.

"What did she say about what happened?" Rosalie asked.

Carlisle sighed. "Well, the girl is no idiot, she noticed that Edward moved really fast, but she did not talk about you pushing the van etc, and as Emmett has already dealt with the dent, we could be alright, though I would agree with Rosalie, that it is not completely safe. Alice?" He turned to her, his eyebrows raised.

"I don't see a problem there, she doesn't plan on telling anyone else about what happened I think." Her answer came rather quickly, and I frowned at her. Had Edward got to her before the meeting? I was sure she was lying, probably didn't want her New York trip spoiled by complications here, selfish creature that she is.

I raised my eyebrows at Edward but he just ignored me. Now I lost my temper. "Edward, what exactly are you planning on doing here? Could you please remember that more than your precious self are affected if this whole thing blows?"

"Boys, please calm down, maybe there is a chance that something good can come from all this", Esme begged, and Carlisle also looked at me pleadingly. "What would you suggest we do, Jasper?" He asked me making plain that he respected my judgement and experience in these matters.

I felt torn apart. I just loved Carlisle and Esme, and they were the reason why I wanted to make sure nothing happened to the coven or - damn my weakness – why I didn't just leave as any self-respecting person would after breaking up with Alice. I couldn't face being on my own or returning to being a normal vampire again. However, considering my relation to Bella's blood, leaving would be the safest option, especially for Carlisle and Esme. "I think we should be proactive – Rosalie has a plan." I nodded to my blond sister to tell the others about the idea we had talked about earlier.

"No!" Edward objected before she could say a word.

Emmett cut in. "Do me a favour, bro, let her at least speak." He nodded encouragingly to his wife.

"Ok, I think maybe we should make sure Bella dies before she gets any ideas or before she starts talking. Humans are so fragile, she might develop… complications from hitting her head – poof, problem solved." Rosalie looked pleased with her idea, and while it sounded harsh, I could not argue against her.

"Oh yes, you're always so quick to shed human blood", Edward sneered.

"In contrast to you who would rather throw your whole family to the risk of being burned by the Volturi for the sake of your heroics?" Rosalie was definitely fed up with Edward too.

Emmett looked from one to the other with growing disquiet. "What about having a vote on the whole thing?"

"Fine by me", Edward said, and at that moment I knew I was beaten. If he agreed to a vote he knew he would win. I had to find another way to solve my problem.

The vote ended five to two, with Carlisle arguing against taking human lives and Emmett confident of withstanding the Volturi if trouble came about.

"Fine", I said sourly, "but please, we need to at least keep an eye on Bella, to know if she does start talking, so we can retreat before the whole thing explodes."

"No problem", Edward said slickly. I was planning on seeing her at the library tomorrow anyway."

Rosalie rolled her eyes and left the room while Esme beamed at her youngest son. "Why don't you invite her to the house?"

"So as to make sure that if we need to silence her, everybody knows she's been hanging out with you?" I asked sarcastically.

"Rubbish, I know what I'm doing", he said confidently and Esme nodded to me smiling.

That was the last straw. I left, banging the door. I had to be alone for a while to think, but deep within I was already sure what I needed to do. If I wanted any chance at sticking to this life – even if Alice and I definitely parted ways – I would have to solve the problem in the only way that worked. I had to kill the Swan girl – as soon as possible.

_**Don't forget to review!**_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Of course I do not own the characters of Twilight - I'm just playing around with them. Have fun reading!**

Ch 4

_**Bella's diary**_

I don't believe it! After behaving so strange to me yesterday, Edward called me this morning – I didn't even know he had my phone number – and suggested we work in the town library on our project. When I claimed I was busy at home (which was not a total excuse, washing and cooking had to be done, as had a little cleaning and tidying up) he had the guts to almost invite himself round. In the end I told him my head still hurt from yesterday's accident – also not a complete lie, it does, but maybe that's due to not sleeping very well because I kept tossing and turning wondering how all this had happened. Anyway, he finally backed down. Then he told me he couldn't make Sunday either, because he was going on a trip with his brother – fine! Did I really give him the impression I depended on his company? I don't have the slightest problem not seeing his arrogant nose for two days in a row!

I shopped, washed and cleaned furiously – mostly with myself (Had I just messed up my chance at getting to know him better?) and even got most of my homework done by four o'clock, so that I really started wondering what to do on Sunday. Charlie had already informed me he was going fishing with Billy Black and Harry Clearwater from the Quileute Reservation. Mm, maybe I could go there too and hang out with Jacob Black? I could bring along some cornbread or a cake and get to know some other teenagers who are not freakishly good-looking but strange. I think I'll call him and ask if he would like that.

Ha, Jacob was all cool about me coming out there, said he was looking forward to some cake. His sisters have moved away, and now it's just him and his dad, so they would like some home-made food. He suggested a walk at the beach. Beach in snow? He laughed when I said that and told me to look out the window. OK, the sun has come out now, and it's really nice. The weather up here is something else: snow and ice yesterday, sun today. I'll take out a chair and read outside.

Ah, have to talk to Charlie about my window, it was slightly open again this morning though I could have sworn I closed it last night.

_**Jasper's POV**_

This whole thing is really hard to deal with, it requires quite a lot of precise planning. After I stormed out last night, I went running almost to Seattle before I had calmed down enough to make any decisions. Once I had cleared my mind, I raced back and went into Bella's room again, not really sure why. No, I'm lying. I didn't want to decide on anything to prevent Alice from getting to me before I could act. I needn't have done that though: when I got into her room – filled with her scent – the first thing I saw was Edward lurking in the corner brooding. He gave me a dark look, and I left again. Oh dear, if she dreams like she did the night I was there, it will definitely go to his head, and there will be no stopping him. I have to come up with a better plan. I feel as if my head is about to burst. I'm thirsty as hell and I really had enough on my mind already before this Nemesis with her scent of the Southwest appeared. When I entered that room, I wanted her blood, no matter what Carlisle would say. After all, Emmett also killed his singer, but with Edward there, there was no way I could make the kill without getting into a fight with that self-righteous saint.

I took over watching Bella duty on Saturday. Somehow Edward seemed to be really annoyed about something and chickened out. Alice had gone out hunting with Rosalie so the girls would be ok on their flight to New York. That meant I would have some peace and quiet in our room with my guitar. I shook my head and started playing, but my mind kept drifting back to that girl and her long brown hair. By early morning I had an idea, which could work, especially with the plans Bella had made for the next day. I made sure not to think about it anymore until I had seen Alice and Rose off at the airport. I had checked their flight time, and would time my decision so as to coincide with their start, when Alice could not use the telephone. Once they were really in the air either she would not be bothered anymore or it would be too late anyway. I was counting on Rose to back me up if Alice started panicking, after all, she shared my opinion on dealing with Bella.

So, the nice husband waved goodbye to his wife and her friend and got in his fast car to speed back to Forks. I parked on a logging road near the Swan residence and went to work, drawing petrol from Bella's truck, enough to make sure that she would not get to La Push. Then I took my position on the little used road between Forks and the Reservation.

About twenty minutes later Bella's truck passed me, already making odd noises, which she apparently didn't notice. Soon the noise of the engine stopped completely, so I pulled out of my hiding place and drove after her. I smiled when I saw her orange monster parked coming around a bend, Bella standing next to the opened hood looking clueless. Excellent. Perfect gentleman that I was I braked at once and got out all helpful and nice.

"Is there a problem?" I asked projecting a wave of trust to Bella.

She shrugged. "It looks like it, the engine stopped, and it won't start again." She looked beautifully distressed, slightly flushed from meddling with the car and she smelt of baking. I sighed quietly.

I pretended to check the engine, the oil and the water, then I looked up. "Well, I don't see anything wrong here. You're Bella, Bella Swan, aren't you? You go to school with my brother Edward. I'm Jasper." I held out my hand after wiping it on my jeans.

She flushed and took it. "Yes. What do I do now?" Even her voice drew me in. I tried to relax and went to the cab of her truck. "I suppose you have checked the obvious?"

"Maybe not, I don't know much about cars really."

I pretended to take a look, then turned to her smiling. "Well, your gas is on empty, Ma'am. I'm afraid that's why the engine's refusing to work." Somehow she brought out my Southern drawl too.

"Oh, no, what an idiot I am." Now she flushed deep scarlet.

I closed my eyes and swallowed. When I was sure I was in control again I said. "Come on, hop in. I'll drive you to a gas station where you can get a can of the stuff." I held the door for her. Of course I had no intention of doing so, I had bought a gallon earlier to fill up her truck once my job was done, and she was parked at the side of the road, her heart silent.

Unsuspectingly she got into my car, and I knew the hardest part of my job was about to begin. I had to drive her to a safe place and not lose control with her scent in the confined space of the car and bite her. I set my teeth and tried to project another wave of trust to the fragile creature next to me. She started chatting amiably and seemed comfortable with me. As soon as I could I pulled into a small lane hidden from the road.

Bella blinked and frowned. "Where are we going?"

"It's a short cut", I said, went on for a bit then stopped the engine.

"Aha, and why are you stopping?" The trust had vanished, and when I turned to her, her fear hit me full force. It had never mattered to me in all my time as a killing vampire, it had never stopped me from my intentions, but when I looked at her now, all I could see were her huge chocolate brown eyes. It felt as if all my life I had been waiting for her, and now I had finally arrived home after a long journey. I never wanted to let go of this wonderful creature and would give everything to make her happy. I thought I would drown in those eyes, my thirst was gone completely, and my hands, instead of going to her vagus nerve and stopping her heart, cupped her head and pulled her to me. My lips found her soft mouth and I kissed her like I had never kissed anyone before.

When I came back to my senses she had become unconscious, and I was mortally embarrassed. What had I done? How would I ever get out of this situation?

"Calm down", I told myself. "You're Major Jasper Whitlock, you've been in a war, make a plan." For want of a better idea I went ahead with my original plan, put the gas in the tank of her car, put her behind the wheel and high-tailed it away from the place, hoping that she would put down what had happened to a freaky dream. I drove right ahead to Vancouver, not daring to go home and face Edward with my thoughts that confused. I would call Esme later, claiming to be meeting nomad friends. For now I was not sure whether I would make it back to Forks at all.

_**Bella's diary**_

I'm completely confused now. Maybe I did hit my head really hard after all, but I was ok yesterday, so I'm not sure what happened now.

Explanation a): When I drove to La Push, I suddenly felt dizzy and stopped at the roadside where I collapsed from low blood pressure – an old acquaintance of mine.

Explanation b): What I remember really happened, meaning, my car had stopped because it ran out of gas, Edward's brother Jasper came by, offered help and then drove us to a secluded spot where all of a sudden he kissed me until I hyperventilated and then he left me in my car.

No, that doesn't make sense at all. First, how could my car run out when I was sure I had put in enough for the trip to the reservation when I was shopping Saturday? And then suddenly have gas again when I came to? Not likely. Second, why the hell should this man – in contrast to Edward he appears all grown up, and in my dream I was very aware of that – who is living with a beautiful girl suddenly kiss me? He hasn't seen me all that often, he doesn't know me at all.

Yet again – that kiss seemed so tender and so real, I can still feel his lips on mine, I think I kissed him back. I felt all soft and malleable in his arms, not … disgusted like when that football jock tried to French-kiss me in Phoenix after the game. It was incredible, and I could well imagine that with that kind of experience I would forget to breathe, or do the opposite and pass out.

I have no idea how to face Jasper tomorrow. I'll probably turn red like a feverish tomato and fall over my own feet, klutz that I am. Well, that will make him all interested in me.

Going to La Push and hanging out with Jake and his friends for an afternoon was a good idea though, even if I was still confused and dizzy when I arrived. We walked along the beach and they horsed around like normal teenagers. In the evening they built a campfire and we roasted marshmallows on sticks. Nice innocent fun. They invited me round for next weekend too. At least the Quileute boys are nice and boisterous, like all boys are, not beautiful, ethereal and mysterious like Edward and his brothers whom I must definitely stop obsessing about.

Wow, that last sentence was worthy of Winston Churchill – note to myself: watch your prepositions!


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N:**__** Woohoo! Two reviews! Thanks for the encouragement, it's really appreciated. In case you're reading my original vampire stories on fictionpress as well – leave some there, too.**_

_**All Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, obviously.**_

Ch 5

Bella's diary

Monday

I had made up my mind to watch Jasper, and – if he appeared at all changed from the week before – confront him with what I thought had happened yesterday. Sounds really decisive, I know, but even that kind of weak "maybe I'll talk to him" seemed to take all the courage I didn't have. Just the thought of that kiss that had probably taken place made my knees go weak and turned my mind into pink candy cotton. Right, as you see, I'm the tough, no-nonsense take charge woman.

I dressed carefully – about five times – in jeans and a blue Henley and went to school and then…

NOTHING!

He wasn't there. Neither were his sisters.

At lunch another weird thing happened: Edward waved me over to the table where he was sitting with his brother Emmett. I joined them – of course, anything else would have been grossly impolite – and it was nice. Edward was back to exquisitely polite and friendly, and Emmett is just fun. He reminds me of a big cuddly bear and the big brother I never had but always wanted. They told me that their sisters were home with the flu, but didn't talk about Jasper. I didn't want to ask, that would have been strange as I don't really know him at all. Anyway, I spent the best lunch break so far, and only when I got home from school I noticed that neither of the boys did actually eat anything. Well, maybe Emmett thinks he should lose weight or something like that.

I worked well with Edward in Biology and the accident wasn't mentioned at all.

Tuesday

Still no Jasper. I sat with the Cullen boys again at lunch – Emmett is hilarious – and everything was fine, until I asked about their brother. Emmett suddenly had to leave and Edward clammed up completely, muttering something about personal problems.

Hm, that sounded a bit as if Jasper was the black sheep of the otherwise perfect Cullen family. Is he into drugs? Would that be an explanation for the strange behaviour on Sunday (if that actually took place)?

After school Edward came along to my place, and we started some serious work on the project. If we do that well, we could end up with lots of extra credits – handy if I want to go for a scholarship next year. When Charlie came home, Edward said goodbye politely and left.

Charlie raised his eyebrows in that typical dad-manner after Edward was out the door, but I just shrugged. "We worked on a school project."

"Ah, that's what they call it these days", Charlie smirked.

I rolled my eyes. He smirked some more. "Good-looking boy, isn't he?"

"I wouldn't have thought he was your type", I retorted. Maybe that would shut him up, but he just cracked up. "You could do worse in this town."

"What do you mean?"

He sighed. "Well, when Dr Cullen moved here with lots of adopted teenagers I was kind of worried, you never know what havoc they might cause, but they have been as nice and easy as you could wish. Not like some of the yahoos you get here sometimes."

I sensed some anger there and asked: "Aha?"

Charlie shook his head dismissively. "Oh well, this is a small place, and people will always talk if they have nothing better to do. And some men can give women a run for their money as gossips." He tucked into his food with a vengeance. "Want to watch the game with me tonight?" He asked with his mouth full.

"No, sorry, gotta go upstairs." I pleaded homework and left for my room. I needed to think. So other people had noticed there was something strange about the Cullens too. As much fun as lunch had been, one thing had me wondering: both boys had not eaten again, when all the other boys their age had been shovelling food like they were paid for it. Odd. Another thing I had noticed was that their eye-colour was getting darker: I could have sworn Edward's eyes had been golden on Friday, but today they had been dark topaz.

Well, what I really have to make up my mind about is what to do on Saturday: Edward has invited me to come round his house to work at the project there. I'm curious how they live and I have to admit that I'm a bit thrilled by all the mystery too.

Oh god, Nancy Drew, grow a brain and go to bed!

Wednesday

Nothing new. Have agreed to go to Edward's place on Saturday, and now I'm worried if that was the right choice. Can't really pull out now, unless I play sick. Hm.

Thursday

Jasper is back at school. When I got to the cafeteria for lunch today, he was already sitting with his brothers. He was dressed differently than usual, dark jeans, white t under a leather jacket, cowboy boots and sunglasses. He definitely looked the bad boy/black sheep of the family part. He also looked incredibly hot, not as strained as usual, and in contrast to his brothers he seemed to be glowing, slightly rosy, his blond curls unruly as ever and shining as they fell in his face.

Making sure I was in control enough so I would not be openly drooling over him, I took my time and packed my tray with food. Then I set course for their table, even though Emmett was not yet waving to me as usual. When I got there, it looked like I had surprised them, and I felt out of place suddenly. I was about to turn and leave when Jasper got up and was gone very fast. Because of the glasses I could not judge his expression – odd to wear glasses inside anyway unless you're so stoned out of your mind that the light hurts your eyes. Well, maybe that's the problem. Emmett started goofing about at once but Edward kept staring after his brother with a very concerned expression.

He was still distracted in Biology, and when I had to repeat something twice to catch his attention, I asked if anything was wrong. He flashed me one of his 100 watt smiles and denied it. "Are you worried about your brother?" I insisted.

He sighed and said. "A bit. Jasper can be… complicated sometimes." Then he changed the topic and started laying out plans for our project at such rapid speed that I had to concentrate really hard not to appear like a complete idiot. When I arrived home I realised he had been distracting me, obviously not wanting to talk about what was the matter with his older brother. Fine – I like my privacy too. But now I'm even more curious about their house and living conditions. Should I bring some flowers for his mum? No, we're just working, it's not a date.

Jasper's POV

Emmett and Carlisle came to get me from Vancouver. Rose had called them after she had heard Alice drop me like a hot potato when I had broken down and called her on Monday night. After breaking down with remorse and shame. I had been good for half a century, and now I had gone on a binge and started killing again. I had almost gone and ripped them to pieces when they addressed me after finding me hiding behind a nightclub's back entrance, waiting for food, but Emmett had wrestled me down enough to listen to Carlisle's soft voice telling me to try and find myself again. He called me his son, and all I wanted to do at that moment was break down and cry. If father meant someone who would never give up on you, Carlisle was my father.

"Will you come home with us?" Carlisle asked after giving me time to get over my embarrassment.

I shrugged. "Alice and I…"

He cut me off. "We already know. I'm sure we can work something out. Do you want a home, Jasper?"

I nodded, looking down.

"There is one condition though", he said.

I met their eyes. "I know. I can't do this alone. Can you help me?"

"Sure, bro", Emmett slapped my shoulder. "We're not gonna dump you. Come along." He took my car keys and went looking for my car.

Carlisle drove me home, and we talked about Alice and me splitting up. It was great to get all that off my chest, but I still was hesitant about telling him about Bella. I had no idea what to do about her, all my other relationships with humans had eventually ended in their deaths, and I felt torn apart about the whole thing: On the one hand I wanted her – badly, on the other I wanted nothing so much as making her happy, which could not be achieved by killing her. Starting an affair with her without her finding out our secret was not a realistic option either, so I would be doing what could be highly dangerous for all my family, who were going to such lengths to keep me sane. Above all: Could she have any feelings for me, for what I am? Saying that my record was not good would be the understatement of the century. Even for one of my kind I was… well, bad. My head started hurting, but the effect of real blood was still there – it made me feel invincible, even though my conscience was giving me such trouble. At least I had a respite from dealing with Alice – she would not be returning before Sunday evening.

I got ready to go to school the next day, dressing as I liked – Alice would have a fit if she saw me like this – and taking along a letter by Carlisle stating I had an eye infection and needed to wear sunglasses. As long as my eyes are this crimson, I should not be seen without them – we might as well advertise for blood-donors otherwise.

The one good thing: the human blood high was still on, no withdrawal yet, so it was easy suffering the boredom of school and dealing with my apprehensions at seeing Bella again. As usual I sat with my family at lunch, massacring a bagel when she came in. She looked surprised I was back and I even thought I felt something like… I blinked… surely not… lust from her coming our direction. She busied herself filling her tray with food and then shocked me again by bustling over to our table as if she wanted to sit with us.

When she arrived, and said hi to Emmett, I felt as if I had been punched. Of course, Edward. She wanted to sit with him. While I was gone she had gotten closer to him, after all they met every day. That's what the whispers about Saturday had been about. That's why he was so happy with himself. The feeling had been for him. I got up and left in a hurry, not wanting to stay and watch her flirting with him or worse, have him pick my brains and find out about my jealousy.

I went to the office and excused myself for the afternoon with my eye-infection, and hid in the small room that used to be my study with my guitar, refusing all of Esme's attempts to comfort me. I just couldn't tell her about my feelings when she was so happy about Edward finding a girl.

I couldn't face school the next day and stayed home, claiming that it was safer this way. I busied myself getting my new room in the basement ready. Ten minutes after I started Esme knocked and offered help with such enthusiasm, that I could not refuse her. She was very kind and loving, and I think I have never envied Carlisle more. If only I could find this kind of peace with a partner – a real one.

When she hung the curtains she claimed to have dug up somewhere, I asked her why she was in such a good mood, she told me Edward was bringing Bella home with him the next day.

I swallowed, trying not to show the pain that statement caused me. "He is officially introducing her to the family?"

"No", Esme shook her head smiling. "He says they are just going to work on her project, but I'm pretty sure that's just an excuse. He is very old-fashioned, probably needs to take her for chaperoned walks for half a year before getting up to a kiss, bless him. At least this way I can meet her." She stepped back to take a look at her work. "Good. Right, I have to go upstairs again, I thought I'd make some cookies for them, he said she liked chocolate." She disappeared and a little later the smell of chocolate chip cookies pervaded the house.

Damn. She was looking forward to the match, Bella had feelings for Edward, from my impression the day before even lusted after him, and it looked as if even the iceberg himself had started melting. I resolved to muster enough discipline to make my family happy. Be a gentleman, Major Whitlock!


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N**__**: A third review – yeah! Keep up the good work and have fun reading!**_

Ch6

Bella's diary

The next day Jasper wasn't in school again, and when I asked Edward he said that his brother had some kind of eye infection that made it uncomfortable for him to be out.

Ah. I called Jake and cancelled my Sunday visit with him after realising that I would never get work, homework and cooking done in one day unless I had a really stressful Sunday. When I told Jake I was going to the Cullens on Saturday, he became all strange and blurted out that was not one of my brighter ideas. In answer to my irritation he muttered something about them being bad news. I think I know who the gossiping men are that Charlie talked about.

Charlie didn't have the slightest problem with my visit, and when Edward came to pick me up after lunch (he had said that finding their house was quite complicated), he told him to give his regards to his dad.

Edward seemed a bit nervous, and I noticed that he was driving very fast, which in turn made me nervous too – as if I wasn't already. I had decided to wear a longish linen skirt with a blue blouse and had caught up my uncooperative hair in a loose bun, hoping that that would find approval with his fashion conscious family.

The house was set deep in the forest, and it would indeed have been easy to miss the turning that led to it. It was quite a big building, three stories high, with lots of big windows and glass walls – a bit modernistic for my taste. Several cars were parked outside, and Edward's nervousness increased as he opened first the car door for me and then unlocked the front door. He called out "We're here" to no one in particular, and took my jacket, leading me upstairs to the first floor and an open plan kitchen/living/dining area suffused with light from the windows. Emmett waved to me. He was watching a baseball game on the big flat screen and a very beautiful slender woman with long light brown hair held out her hand to me. Edward introduced her as Esme, his adoptive mother. She smiled warmly and said she had made cookies for us, pointing Edward to a tray with a plate of them and some sodas.

The music which I had heard from downstairs when coming in (haunting guitar and singing) broke off, and Jasper came up to say hello briefly. He was in faded jeans and a loose linen shirt, barefoot and looked very relaxed and still glowing, as he had on Thursday. Was that illness giving him a fever too? Of all these beautiful people he was definitely the most attractive. I swallowed, trying not to think about that kiss and managed to untangle my tongue enough from my teeth to ask: "Was that you playing just now?"

He nodded briefly, and I thought he was looking directly at my eyes, but – damn shades – I couldn't be sure of that.

"It was… lovely", I said lamely and noticed that Edward was eager to get started working, so I followed his direction to the staircase. We climbed until the third floor to a room at the end of the corridor. This one had windows on two sides, which were open to the sunny spring weather, making it feel as if we were outside. There were lots of books, and almost as many CDs and vinyl records plus a state of the art sound system.

He had obviously cleared a table for us to work on, and for two hours we were busy researching and planning experiments we would do in school. Then I excused myself and went to the bathroom briefly. Like everything in the house it was very luxurious and spoke of money. Going back I could hear Jasper playing again, and the sadness of his music touched my heart. Someone definitely had the blues downstairs.

"Another cookie?" Edward offered.

"No thanks", I declined. "They're great, but I'm ok. Your mom's nice."

"Oh yes, she is a very loving person." He stopped for an awkward silence.

I ambled over to the shelves of music and shook my head. "You have almost more music that the shop in town", I said. "What are you listening to?"

He was close to me quite suddenly and switched on the system. Something classical came on which I recognised after ten seconds. "Ah, Debussy, nice."

"You know that?" He sounded even shyer than before.

"Yes, my mom used to listen to that quite often." Another long silence, then he took my hand and put his other arm loosely round my waist as if to dance.

"Eh – Edward, I … can't really…"

Too late, he had already started moving me around the place with a strength that I found surprising even though I knew he was fit.

I shook my head at him. "Edward, please let me go, before I…"

At that moment the door flew open and Jasper was in the room, looking like an avenging angel. All his coolness was gone and his expression scared me. His eyes were bright crimson. "The lady said: let go! She is uncomfortable." The next thing I knew was that Edward had somehow flipped me behind him, and was in a crouching stand between me and his brother. A low growling sound came from him, sounding like a warning.

Jasper answered that with a growl of his own, so feral that it made my skin crawl with fear, and I saw Edward flinch for a second before he took hold of my arm and told me to hold on. Then he jumped out the window.

I closed my eyes. Surely that was my death, he would break his legs in the fall from the third floor and… but no, he landed noiselessly and started running, me still on his back like a monkey. With all the strange things happening I would not have been surprised if Jasper had jumped after us, but for the shortest moment before we jumped I had had a glimpse of his face. It was no longer threatening, but indescribably sad. I closed my eyes and held on tight.

When Edward stopped running I opened them again and noticed that we were in front of my house. He gestured to go in, locked the door behind me and pushed me upstairs.

I collapsed on my bed and expected him to be exhausted too – after all he had been carrying me all the way, but he stayed close to the window, tense and watching what was happening outside.

"What the hell was that?" I asked as soon as my heart was back where it belonged.

Edward didn't answer.

"Hey, talk to me! What happened just now?"

He turned to me with a pained expression. "I can't really tell you…"

"Are you out of your mind? Do you think you can leave me with no answers like after the accident? What happened?"

He sighed and said with a toneless voice. "Something I hoped would not take place. I know now I was …naïve to expect this to work."

"Aha? What is wrong with your brother? What was the matter with his eyes? Or with yours?" I had noticed they had gone completely black back in his room, and he had looked frightening too. "Why can you run so fast, and jump out a third floor window without getting hurt…" I stopped, a thought having come to my mind which I dismissed instantly, but it came back at once, drawing others along. "You never eat, you are pale and … really cold… I…"

Edward had turned away from me again. "I'll stay here a while, and then I make sure we leave quickly."

"Are you deaf? I want an answer!" I shrieked, still on an adrenaline high.

"Believe me, you don't. We won't bother you again." He banged his fist against my window frame and left a dent.

I took a deep breath. He had said they were leaving, so if I made a fool of myself now, it wouldn't really matter. "Are you … vampires?" I said quickly before my courage left me again.

Edward was still facing the other way, but he nodded.

I swallowed. "All of you?" Nod. "Even your dad?"

He turned and smiled crookedly. "Yes, Carlisle too."

"But he's a doctor…" I broke of. "And I haven't heard about any murders here."

"We are different, we only live of animal blood."

"So you're… not really dangerous?" I was trying hard to digest all the information coming my way, still not sure I would believe him. Had it been Emmett I would have been sure it was some practical joke. But Edward always was so serious…

Edward answered with a hollow laugh. "No, you're wrong there. The animal blood keeps down the thirst, but we still want…" He set his teeth.

"So did Jasper want to… eat me?"

He sighed. "Jasper came to us last, he is our newest 'vegetarian'" He air comma'ed the word. "Jasper is bad news. He is dangerous, Bella, he's not always fully in control, stay away from him."

"Why were his eyes red?" I asked already knowing the answer.

Edward shrugged at me with a pained expression. "I'll talk to Carlisle tonight, we need to leave Forks."

"Wait! Why? I mean", I amended, "We've been working together, and you've been going to school here for two years, you invited me to your place…"

"I thought this could work, I could have a normal life, and the others chipped in." He was clearly uncomfortable.

"So you don't want to …drain me?" I was still trying to wrap my head around this.

"I'd rather sit next to you in school, but that doesn't help. I need to call Carlisle." He pulled his phone from his pocket and started a very low conversation with the person at the other end. When he clicked the phone shut, he said: "I need to leave, we're going to have to talk about this with the family."

"Mm", I said, not sure what he expected.

He took hold of my shoulders and looked into my eyes. "Bella, I won't let Jasper hurt you, I promise." Then he was gone, and I was left alone in the house, which didn't look all that safe anymore. If they had the strength to bend car-metal with their hands, out front door would certainly not be a problem for a determined vampire.

I decided not to undress before going to bed – whatever good that would do – and took my phone to bed with me.

Well, if something happens to me, people will at least find this diary.

I've gone over the whole thing so many times now I'm no longer sure what happened. My problem is that there seems to be something wrong with Edward's story. If Jasper wanted to kill me he could have done that without the slightest problem last Sunday. Instead, he had kissed me. And his face when I last saw him still haunted me, it had been so full of fear and regret and something else I could not place. Besides, could a bloodsucking monster really make music as intricate as he had? Or could a woman as loving as Esme kill?

I'm quite sure Edward has not yet given me all the answers I need to deal with this.


	7. Chapter 7

Ch 7

Jasper's POV

Oh, hell. So much for my often praised discipline. I had resolved that as I had no indication that Bella had noticed me at all so far and instead seemed to have feelings for Edward, and that because Esme was so happy by the prospect of my brother's happiness, I would not act on my love. Fat lot of good that has done me!

My resolve lasted for about five minutes after Bella was in the house. I sensed her coming in, nervous and curious, and I simply had to see her. Just a look I promised myself. She looked lovely. Then she asked about my music, and I felt that her curiosity was about me as well. A glimmer of a chance? I managed to leave then and tried to distract myself with playing the guitar, all the while having to suffer Esme's and Edward's growing happiness about Bella here.

I had just about calmed myself down enough when Carlisle came in too, and then I sensed a stronger feeling. Bella, uneasy at first, then deeply uncomfortable with Edward near her. I lost it, and when that pathetic boy tried to threaten me, I snapped. Bella's scared eyes almost broke my heart. Then Edward took her away, and it needed both Emmett and Carlisle to stop me. I fought them like a madman, and they only let me go when Edward phoned that Bella was safe.

"Jasper, will you calm down now?" Carlisle asked, becoming impatient at last. Both he and Emmett definitely looked the worse for wear, and Esme was hunched in a corner, her eyes frightened and sad.

Esme's eyes were the last straw. All my energy left me, and suddenly I was slumped against my brother and father. "I'm so sorry, Esme. I didn't mean to hurt anyone." She tried a smile. I knew she had been scared of me when I first started living with them, and I understood that my latest stunts might well have ruined the trust we had built. I looked away. "Bella?" I asked.

"She's ok" Carlisle said. We moved to his study and sat down. Two minutes later Edward joined us, looking at me murderously, set to pounce on me at once.

"Whoa, stop!" Emmett had a hand on my arm and Carlisle pushed Edward back. "No. I want to know what is going on here."

Edward's eyes did not change and I could sense pure hatred from him. "Jasper tried to attack Bella. I had to get her out and to safety. I also… Carlisle, she is no idiot, I had to tell her. Actually, she more or less guessed." He looked to his father for guidance.

Carlisle nodded and turned to me. "Jasper?"

I fought to calm down my anger. "I didn't attack her, I don't want to hurt her. She was deeply uncomfortable, and I thought Edward was… molesting her." A wave of righteous indignation coming from my brother hit me. "And the aggressive way he reacted could not convince me otherwise. It was him I wanted to attack." Damn, I had let his rage get to me and almost spit the last few words. I took a deep breath and calmed down again. "I'm not thirsty and I won't kill again."

Edward shook his head. "Liar!"

"What?" I was on my feet for a second before Emmett pulled me down.

Edward continued to Carlisle as if I wasn't there: "She's his singer, he has been wanting her blood since she's arrived. We need to leave Forks, and get him away from her."

"Is that so, Jasper?"

"No, I…"

Edward snorted and interrupted me at once. "Are we to trust him when he has just this week shown what he is?"

I couldn't take it anymore and left banging the door. I had not yet got to my room when Emmett was with me. "I'd rather not leave you alone now, bro."

"I'm not about to go out slaughtering virgins. If I wanted that I'd start with the one in this house!"

"Don't let him get to you like that, he doesn't have a clue about what's going on with him, I don't think he noticed any females when he was still human, and he certainly hasn't noticed any up to now."

"Have you taken a vote then?"

Emmett shook his head, frowning. "No, how should we have done that? The girls aren't even here, and as long as you are part of this family I doubt there will be one without you. Come on, play me some music."

I smiled at my brother. He knew exactly when to be silent, and what to do to make me feel comfortable.

An hour later there was a knock at my door.

"Come in."

Carlisle came in and sat down in my armchair in that quiet way that usually ended with you telling him what's on your mind even if you didn't want a soul to know. Emmett smiled and left under the pretence of going hunting. "Take Edward along, he was about to go anyway." Carlisle told him, and my bearlike favourite brother disappeared.

He came right to the point. "Is Edward right in Bella being your singer?"

"Yes, but it's not like that, I don't want to hurt her, I…" I broke off, not used to talking about feelings. You just didn't do that in my time, definitely not in the army, and my first few decades as a vampire had not been a time for that either. Being together with Alice, who knew everything in advance, had also not given me any practice in that.

Carlisle looked into my eyes searchingly, and after a while he nodded. "You know, sometimes I think for all of our combined cleverness Esme is the brightest person in this house."

"For being afraid of me in the beginning and now proven right?" I said, holding my breath. Was Carlisle about to ask me to leave? After all I had been the latest arrival, and he himself had turned Edward, who was very close to him.

Carlisle smiled. "No, I'm sure you couldn't hurt her if you tried, and deep down she knows that too. She told me something she thinks. Jasper, I don't want to get into your personal space, but if we're to continue as a family we have to know where we stand. I got Edward out so you could speak freely. What is your connection to Bella?"

I didn't know what to say, how to phrase what was driving me to this girl who had turned my world upside down in this short space of time. "I… want to be near her. She makes me feel at home and… she gives me back my humanity." I shook my head. Case of pot calling kettle black: I was about as eloquent as my uptight iceberg brother.

Carlisle nodded again. "You're in love with her, as Esme thought." He sighed. "Well, that is one problem you and Edward have to sort out – not among yourselves, mind you."

"How then?" I looked up, surprised.

"I think you have to find out how the girl feels about the two of you. I think Edward's wrong in wanting to leave here, you two would just be watching each other and return sneakily to the object of your desire. I'm pretty sure that would not end in such a way as to prevent the Volturi from seeking us out. Let's hope she is discreet, but if she hasn't been talking about her suspicions since the accident, we might have a chance there."

"What if she chooses?" I asked.

"You're going to have to deal with that. Life is like that, I'm afraid, even ours."

"Do you know what you're asking?"

"Yes, Jasper, and I'll ask the same of Edward." Carlisle got up and left me on my own. He trusted me to go along with his plan, and obviously his trust kept me in line – for now.

I also knew what I had to do if I wanted a chance at getting close to her. For the rest of the night I recited Longfellow and Emerson in my head.


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: THanks very much for the reviews so far - I'll answer them as soon as I can. Have fun!**_

Ch 8

Jasper's POV

The next morning I set out early and stealthily managed to break into the Swan house. I knew Edward was in Bella's bedroom again – creep! – so I fixed a note to the orange juice in the fridge and disappeared as quickly as I'd come.

I went hunting for good measure to be sure that I would be in control when Bella met me at the out of the way lane where I had kissed her a week ago. I waited there as quiet and unmoving as only a vampire could, trying to conjure up the feeling of her silky lips on mine, her taste when she had kissed me back, and I had suddenly been able to feel as deeply as I had when I was alive.

Would she come?

Edward had said he had told her our secret. He had probably garnished it with a bit of Jasper bashing – not hard to do after this week and my performance in his room. Would she really come out to meet a monster on a deserted stretch of road? On the other hand she had not ratted on us after the accident, even though she probably guessed quite early. She had kissed me back, and she had shown an interest in my music while she had definitely not been interested in Edward's attentions yesterday.

I kept waiting, wishing every car that passed to contain the person who could offer me the chance of becoming happy.

Cars kept passing. Not a lot of them, the road was small and led nowhere else than La Push and the reservation. None of them stopped.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Bella's diary

To say I had not slept would have been exaggerating – I did, but when I did I kept having nightmares, ridiculous ones, full of monsters with pointy teeth. Nonsense, when apparently the non-stereotypical vampires of real life were beautiful creatures without silk-lined capes, who could be polite students, mild-mannered doctors, bake wonderful cookies and sing like angels. And kiss like – I don't know, my experience in kissing was limited, but I'm pretty sure that kiss was good. The things Edward had said about Jasper though had not been good at all, and his red eyes had also been haunting my dreams.

Fact of the matter: when I finally woke up at half past seven and noticed Charlie was still there and had not gone fishing, I was really glad. I jumped out of bed and called out "Good morning" to him, getting a grunt in return.

"Not fishing?"

"Nope, damn things didn't bite all day yesterday, besides is raining like a deluge out there."

"Ah, will you stay home then?" Hopeful.

Charlie's face came round the corner then, bad conscience written all over it. "I leave you alone too often, don't I, Bells?"

"No, it's ok, I'm a big girl." I said at once.

He didn't buy it. "I promised to help Sue and Harry paint their living room, Sue is doing a big breakfast for all the helpers…"

"Mind if I come?" I really didn't want to stay home alone, not while I'm as paranoid as I am now, no matter what happened to homework and cooking.

"Not at all, put on some old clothes, and off we go!" He grinned widely.

I put on some old sweats and as a last minute decision threw my book bag in the cruiser too. Maybe I would make some time to get some of my work done – after all the rez kids must have homework too.

Five minutes later we were on the road, Charlie singing along to Country FM so out of tune that I couldn't stop laughing. Well, at least my dad was happy.

The Blacks also chipped in on the painting and renovating job at the Clearwater house, and Jake winked at me: "Survived fang house?"

"What?" I gasped, but he just smiled. "Nothing, just old-wife's tales."

When we got back in the early evening I just about managed to keep my eyes open long enough to get the essential homework done before dropping off to a deep dreamless sleep.

Jasper's POV

The sun set and my mood dropped even more. She had not come.

Frustrated I made my way back to the house. When I was almost there I realised that I would have to deal with another problem too today: Alice and Rosalie had returned, and I was pretty sure that Carlisle would still want to take a vote on staying or leaving. He had never been remotely autocratic, and as Edward had suggested leaving, the motion had to be acted upon.

I groaned when I entered the living room and felt Edward's smug mood at once. If something had happened that made him happy, it couldn't really be good for me. Excellent, just what I needed – another thing going wrong.

"Jasper, there you are", Alice playing nice danced toward me.

I warded off her embrace and waved to Rosalie as well. "Were you waiting for me?"

"Yes", Edward said, all business. "We need to decide what we're going to do about Forks."

Carlisle shook his head at Edward, but he ignored him.

Esme cleared her throat. Obviously she was going to start – which was highly unusual, but apparently this matter was too important for her to wait. "I don't know why we should move. It's clear to me the girl is not going to talk, and I don't want to uproot the whole family again. Besides I really like it here."

"I'm with Esme", Carlisle said. "I'd like to take the chance."

"Good", Rosalie said at once. "I don't want to start again so soon before graduation, neither does Emmett." She squeezed his hand, and her husband smiled in agreement.

Edward blinked. "Alice?"

She gave me a look that was highly irritating. Why was she still playing loving wife when everybody here knew we had broken up? "I'll agree with whatever Jazz says. If he wants to leave I'll go with him."

I frowned, getting her drift. She had seen Bella wasn't going to come and saw another chance at making me her pet project once again. Sheer spite got me. "I'm staying. In my own room though, Alice."

She pouted briefly, but regained her composure at once. "Fine, I'll unpack then." She danced to the stairs and disappeared.

Edward looked surprised. "Fine. We'll take the risk then." He stomped off to the piano.

I knew then that Alice had told him what she had seen about me and Bella, and that he had been confident of the outcome being in his favour – well, bro, be prepared. I'm no stranger to fighting dirty either.

Carlisle turned a pleading look to me. I shrugged and asked him. "Chess?"

"Alright. I take it you're not calming the madhouse down tonight, are you?"

I shook my head. "Sorry, I don't have it in me. You can only ask so much at a time."


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: oopsie, completely forgot the obvious. IN case anyone was in doubt: All Twilight characters belong to S. Meyer.**_

_**THanks for the reviews and private messages - you're awesome!**_

Ch9

Bella's diary

Of course I overslept on Monday, Charlie was already gone, and in order not to be too late I grabbed a granola bar to eat on the drive and swigged some orange juice straight from the box. I froze when I saw the note sticking to it.

'Bella, meet me where we kissed a week ago. Please give me the chance to explain myself. Jasper.'

So I had not dreamed that kiss. Mm, Jasper definitely had some explaining to do – for example what had been the matter with my truck, and how he had come to be where it had broken down as well as how it suddenly had been able to move again. Realising I was working myself up in righteous indignation about a problem that was quite secondary to other recent revelations (and was still standing in the kitchen when I should have been on the road ten minutes ago), I shook myself and started thinking about the problem at hand while driving to school at a speed my truck did not like at all.

That note. Had he come in last night and pinned that to the box? What a strange way of communicating! And how was I supposed to meet him twenty miles away on a school day? I almost ran down Tyler in the parking lot, when it came to me. I swerved around Tyler on screeching tires and stopped. Of course. 'One week ago'. That note must have been there since yesterday morning, only in my rush to go out with Charlie I had not seen it. I blushed. I hope Charlie has not seen it. No, I think I would have known if he had found someone had broken into his house in the night. I giggled. He would take that as a personal affront. But – coming back to the note – what would I do with that now? Go to the lane? I wasn't sure I would actually be able to find that again, and I wasn't that comfortable with waiting around in a deserted spot for a – how had Edward called it? – non-vegetarian vampire who might or might not be dangerous. Should I call him? How? Slip him my number? No, I decided. If he had gone to such lengths to get the note to me in secret there might be a reason for that. Ungh – I just realised one possible reason: he might not want his girlfriend to notice him cheating. Damn. Now what?

I had been so deep in my thoughts that I had not looked where I was going – nose on the note – that I stumbled and bumped against something. No, delete that: someone. Mike Newton caught me before I fell on my face and said laughing: "Hey, Arizona, where have you left your mind this morning? First you almost kill one of my pals, then you attempt to run me into the ground."

"Sorry, I was distracted", I said, trying to smooth over the whole scene. Everybody was watching, and I felt myself blush bright red. I looked around and saw Emmett's grinning face next to his siblings who were standing around Edward's car by themselves.

"What's that you've got there?" Mike kept teasing me. "A love letter? From Arizona? Let me see, I can give you excellent advice in matters of the heart."

"So can I", Tyler joined in, and Eric Yorkie obviously also had to get into the melee.

"Guys, cool down", I yelled in an effort to get over their whooping and cheering. "It's just a note I found in the fridge this morning. If you're all that interested in me shopping for orange juice…"

Thankfully the bell went that moment and I was saved.

I did not take in a whole lot of what went on in the lessons that morning and sat with Angela and Jessica during lunch. "Something wrong with you and Edward?" Jessica asked instantly, as always interested in gossip. She had been quite insistent last week when I had been sitting with the Cullen boys, too, plastering me with little notes all through Maths.

I shook my head and diverted her attention by asking her what she'd be wearing for the Spring Dance. Angela as ever was far too discreet to go butting in my personal stuff. She just made sure I knew she was there. I really like her a lot.

The afternoon's lessons didn't get my full attention either, and after not getting an answer several times Edward gave up trying to talk to me in Biology, and we worked on our project perfunctorily.

After the last period I rushed to my truck and went home, thoroughly fed up with being around people for once. Plus – I still had the cooking to do, which I had neglected on the weekend. On second thoughts, I needed to buy some things at the shop first, before I could start my cooking session.

An hour later I came home, my truck packed with groceries. As there had been a long line at the check-out I was eager to get the frozen stuff in quickly, and rushed into the kitchen with my arms full. I was just about to put them on the counter when I saw him: Jasper was standing in the kitchen. In my shock I dropped my overfull bag, and frozen goods were scattered across the ancient linoleum. I bent down to retrieve them – and to give myself time before reacting to a red-eyed vampire in my kitchen – but I did not get fully down, because my head connected with something hard. "Ouch!"

"Oh god, I'm so sorry. What a silly thing to do", my unexpected visitor whose head had bashed against mine said contritely. I was still blinking to get my vision back after the hard hit – his head must be like a rock, and tried to get to the counter to hold on to something solid. Of course I slipped on the by now slightly wet floor and sat rather hard on my backside.

Jasper looked as if he would blush in embarrassment, took a step towards me and we started talking at the same time:

"Allow me, Ma'am…"

"Be careful, the floor is really …"

Too late. The tall young man was already pirouetting and landed next to me between frozen chicken and ready made meat patties in a tangle of arms and legs. A string of curses escaped him, and he apologised at once.

I grinned. "Not at all, my thoughts exactly." Then I cracked up laughing.

He shook his handsome head. "You know, if we practise some more we could get a number in Vegas with that stunt." His eyes, still red with some amber freckles, had lit up with a smile.

I stopped laughing long enough to wisecrack: "Me Abbott, you Costello."

Now he threw back his head and started laughing too so contagiously that we couldn't stop for at least ten minutes. All the tension had disappeared, and he never looked more beautiful.

"You should do something about this floor", he said.

"Like what? Giving out skates or make it self-drying?"

"Patent it as a trap for burglars… or worse."

"I thought you lot could fly", I quipped.

"Only in planes." He got up elegantly and held out his hand to me. His eyes were sparkling with laughter, and I was sure he was not there to harm me. I took the proffered hand and he pulled me upright again.

"Right", I said. "I better deal with this mess before it thaws and the kitchen becomes a complete disaster area.

"Need some help?"

My sceptical look had him back off at once. Ten minutes later my purchases were where they were supposed to be, and the floor was wiped dry. I pushed my hair behind my ears and said. "I'm sorry, I didn't see your note yesterday, I was in a hurry to go out and didn't have breakfast here."

"I guessed as much this morning", he said. "Would you have come?"

"I don't know", I answered honestly. "I… don't know you, and Edward…"

"Would you give me a chance to explain what happened? All I'm asking is for you to give me some time. I promise to be completely honest, and that I don't mean to harm you in any way. Other than assaulting you by my feeble attempts at gallantry."

He looked into my eyes with an expression of pained sincerity, pleading for me to stay and not run from him, as he seemed to be expecting.

I nodded. "If we can stay here – yes. I need to get some cooking done for my dad. I'm a bit behind in my chores."

"It won't take long", he said, and I compromised by making a cup of tea and sitting down after offering him a seat at the table too.

He took a deep breath and started. "I wasn't going to attack you on Saturday. I had heard that you were uncomfortable with Edward, and I wanted to help you. He misunderstood and threatened me. I do have a temper problem, and at the moment it's …worse than usual. Alice and I broke up recently, and too many things have been happening at the same time." He stopped, not sure how to go on. He looked so young and vulnerable that I just wanted to go to him and mess up his glorious curls like one does with a small child, but I was very much aware that he could not be further from a child.

"What happened last Sunday?"

He sighed and told me how he had wanted to kill me, for fear of me putting his family in danger and because of his confusion about what my scent was doing to him.

"But you didn't…" I started encouragingly.

"No, I… suddenly realised I couldn't live in a world without you and the way you make me feel." He looked to me tense with apprehension of being rejected. "And then you fainted and I panicked."

I was sure it must have cost him a lot to come clean the way he had and went looking for a way to react without being completely overrun by my emotions and keeping some time to think on the whole matter. Typically my mouth ran away with me in spite of this idea. "You kiss very nicely", I heard myself say.

The next moment he had enveloped me in his arms and started kissing me again, gently at first, then deeper and more and more passionately. Then… nothing.

Jasper's POV

Oh no! One minute ago I had been the happiest vampire alive, now for the second time running I was left in a precarious situation with an unconscious girl I had just kissed.

Carefully I put her on the sofa in the living room and went back for some cold water. As an afterthought I brought a bottle of bleach too from under the sink – the closest thing to smelling salts the modern world knew.

By the time I was back Bella had already opened her eyes and sat up frowning.

"Do you always do that?"

"What?" She was rubbing her eyes.

"Faint when you're being kissed."

"Don't know." She blushed, and a wave of embarrassment hit me. "I must have forgotten to breathe."

"Can I give you a note to remember that please the next time I kiss you?" At least she wasn't angry, and there was clearly no remorse coming from her. Maybe there was hope.

She shook her head getting up. "We can try that, but now I really need to get working."

"You don't expect me to leave you alone after you've just fainted", I said following her into the kitchen.

"I need to cook…"

"I can help."

"Do you know anything about cooking?"

She looked at me quizzically and flashes of my mother at the stove and my grandma making dough appeared in my brain. I smiled. "Not from personal experience, but I'm fully able to follow orders. Just put me to work!"

"You're not staying for dinner", she said getting out a cutting board and some knives for us and busying herself with washing vegetables and chicken breasts. "I have no idea how to explain you to Charlie."

"I had no intention of inviting myself. What do you want done with these?" I pointed to the carrots and peppers she had put on the board for me.

"Oh, could you just dice them?" When I still looked clueless, she gave me measurements and turned back to the meat.

"And after that?" I asked three minutes later.

She whirled around. "You're a human kitchen aid!"

"?" My lack of understanding must have been obvious, so she amended. "You're really fast. Can you do the onions next?"

"Your wish is my command", I drawled with a bow.

She snickered. "Louisiana?"

"No, Ma'am, Texas."

"Goodness", she smiled and we worked together for two hours, talking about nothing in particular. I think I have never been more relaxed, but I noticed she was trying to keep the conversation light, and was probably not asking the questions that really were foremost on her mind. Soon several casseroles were either in the oven or simmering on the stove and I was hanging up the last towel after cleaning up the place. Getting my courage together I said. "Bella, I'd like to… come back later, to talk some more and…"

Before she could answer my cell phone rang. I checked caller ID: Alice. I clicked it off impatiently. A second later there was a hard knock at the door and a wave of fury assaulted me.

Oblivious of what was going on Bella went to the door and opened. "Yes?"

Edward charged in, his eyes dark with anger. "Jasper, leave here, at once!" Then he turned to Bella and said in a soft voice. "I'm sorry, I was tricked. This will not happen again."

Bella looked from me to Edward and frowned. "What is the problem?"

"I promised he would not get near you again, but he …slipped me." Edward was talking as if I wasn't there, and I felt my gore rising.

Bella blinked at my brother's 'knight-in-shining-armour' attitude and said in a slightly irritated voice. "The last time I looked, I lived in this house, and it was still up to me who visits here, as long as I am ok with it. Now could you both please leave, before my dad comes home?"

Muffled laughter could be heard from outside, and I realised Emmett had been hot on Edward's heels. "OK, guys, I think we should hit the road. Bye, Bella, see you tomorrow!"

I tried not to smirk as I left the Swan house with my brothers.

I knew I would have to face the music for my deceiving Edward into not knowing where I had been (I had used my codeword for privacy (E. Lee) with Rosalie, and Edward had been left with the impression we were going to look at a motorbike in Olympia), but that didn't matter the least. Edward would try to give Rose grief about the deception, but she was fine with that as long as I kept to my bargain – letting Emmett win his next chess-game.

I was silent on the way back, relishing in memories of how kissing Bella had felt.

"Do you mind!" Edward hissed at me. "Keep your dirty fantasies to yourself! She would never do that with you!"

I snorted. "Keep out of my head, if you don't like my thoughts. What were you doing just now? Safeguarding her virtue?"

"I had a flash of what you were planning to do from Alice. Stay the hell away from the girl!"

"As soon as she tells me to, I will." I locked my eyes on his to make sure he knew how serious I was.

"Your … shenanigans will either get her killed or us exposed or both. Grow a brain!"

Before I could retort Emmett stopped the car at our house. "No! Don't you two dare start a fight again. Calm down, will you? Think of Esme!"

I shrugged my shoulders at my younger brother and went to my room, closing the door firmly behind me. Then I switched on my laptop and got Chief Swan's number, humming quietly to myself.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own Twilight.**

CH10

_**Bella's diary**_

Oh dear, I'm dead tired! Jasper called after dinner last night – luckily it was me answering the phone – asked for my cell number and we spent a good part of the night on the telephone talking about music, films, TV shows and just about everything else apart from the rather obvious fact of his being a vampire. He is very interesting to talk to, and it looks like we share a sense of humour too as well as a taste in quite a few things. And yes, I am very attracted him physically. Just the sound of his voice and his drawl gives me goosebumps sometimes. On the other hand I'm still confused by the whole thing. I'm quite sure that Edward was not pulling my leg about their… nature. Apart from all the other things like the speed, the strength, the eyes etc I noticed that Jasper was very cold when he embraced me yesterday. What are they? Are they dead? How do they really live? How old is this beautiful man who wants to be… hmm… what exactly? Edward seems sure that his intentions are bad – he was so Neanderthal yesterday that he really p… me off – but all I see is a charming, sometimes shy man who must have been hurt badly some time in his life, and something in me wants to comfort and cuddle him. He isn't intellectual like his brother, but in contrast to Edward he is not all judgemental and snobbish, he is interested in what I think about things, and not always sure his opinion is the right/only one.

What the hell have I stumbled into here?

And there is another problem too: I sat with Jasper for lunch today, and I thought I could feel not only Edward's eyes boring into my back but also Alice's. If that relationship is finished, it must have been Jasper who ended it. I'm not sure Alice agrees with him on that. When I wanted to ask him about it, he shook his head slightly, pointed to his ears and said "Later". Apparently they can hear very well, and he didn't want his siblings to eavesdrop on that conversation. Before the lunch break ended he asked if I could take him along after school. Something crashed from the Cullen table at that, but I nodded. "Yes, no problem."

I had not reached my seat in Biology when Edward took me to task for that. "Can't you be more careful?"

"Such as?"

"Bella, you're making it very difficult for me to … protect you."

I frowned. "I don't need protecting, not against Jasper."

He sighed. "Please, let me help you. He is not … a gentleman, and it's not good for you to be alone with him."

I snickered. "What age are you from?"

"That is the point. You don't know enough about us, you're… reckless."

Mr Banner interrupted us at that moment. He had been beaming when we came in, then set up everyone else before coming to us holding a bunch of papers. Apparently he has got a friend at the University of Washington in Seattle who is doing research on one aspect of our project work, and – I would never have believed him capable of this kind of initiative – he has phoned him and arranged for us to go and talk to him and watch some of his experiments. Great! This school could really be the springboard for me! We just have to set a date, he said he could get us a free day for that if his friend didn't want to do it on the weekend. Excellent! Edward of course took charge of the whole thing at once, he is going to do the telephoning and the arranging. I'm happy with that – I don't like telephoning strangers, I usually get all nervous and tongue-tied, even if I know what I want. Edward seems to have no problems there. We make a good team I think, and I regretted being so harsh to him the day before. So I didn't object to him walking me over to gym and we chatted some more.

I asked how his parents were and if he could ask his mum for the cookie recipe. He liked that, seemed very relaxed on the subject of his family, so I got up enough courage to ask the question that had been bothering me. "Ah – what about Alice?"

He sighed. "She is not happy about the separation. They were together fifty years after all."

I gulped. "WHAT?" I almost shouted.

He shrugged. "I said you don't know enough about us. Clearly it's no use trying to tell you to be careful with Jasper, but please be aware we're not human teenagers. There is a reason why most people stay away from us." He was not happy at all.

"But you're nice, Emmett is good fun to be with and Jasper is your brother", I blurted out.

"We have also killed people, some of us quite recently. Please be careful, Bella." With that he left me standing. Is it any wonder that I was even more of a disaster in my least favourite lesson afterwards? Mike Newton helped me out as usual, but this time even he was hard-pushed.

"Arizona, what's up with you? Your concentration is completely down the drain. Did Cullen give you trouble about not being perfect for that advanced job you're doing for Banner?"

"No, just stressed out." I tried to get my sweaty hair away from my flushed face.

"Hey, I know it's none of my business and all that, but are you sure hanging out with the Cullens is a good idea?"

That got my gall. "Whyever not? No one else seems to."

Mike shook himself involuntarily. "Well, I think they're kind of freaky. Lauren thinks their doctor dad experiments on them with beauty operations."

I forced a laugh. "Mike, Halloween is in October."

He wanted to say something but at that moment Jasper arrived and took my bag, narrowing his eyes at Mike ever so slightly and Mike left fast.

"Take me for a ride in your antique?" He drawled at me while we were walking over to my truck.

"Yes. What was that with Mike just now?"

He blinked. "Nothing. He fancies you."

I laughed. "Nonsense. He's nice to me in gym."

"Hmm."

"I can take care of myself – as I told your brother this afternoon too."

"What did he say?" Jasper was wary at once.

"That I should be careful with you, because you weren't a normal teenager." I looked up to see his expression, but it looked carefully blank.

"And – will you?" He asked. "Do you want me to leave you alone?"

For some reason I felt scared at once and shook my head. "No. But I think I need to know more about you."

He nodded slowly. "Are you still sure you want to take me home with you, or should we go to a diner in town?"

"You wouldn't be comfortable answering questions there, and I'm afraid I really need a shower, so if you don't mind, it's home."

"Fine with me."

_**Jasper's POV**_

I could have ripped the Newton kid apart when I saw him with Bella, projecting lust like they were in his bedroom. She doesn't seem to notice the guys' reaction to her at all. Oh, right, and Edward got to her too. He seems to have changed his tactics after his caveman idea didn't get her attention yesterday, even walked her to the next period. I could feel his glee when he saw me watching. So now he has dropped hints about me being dangerous to Bella, hypocritical git that he is. My anger was almost burning me up, looking for release.

Major, you have to simmer down, I told myself while she was slowly pulling out of the parking lot. I didn't like Bella feeling uncomfortable about being with me, so I tried to distract her with small talk. I wanted more time to think about what to tell her. Of course I would be honest, but I wasn't sure how much she could take without running from me, and I couldn't bear the thought of that. I wasn't going to let Edward doing the talking either if I could help it. Or Alice.

"Jasper?" Bella's voice suddenly registered, and I noticed we were parked in front of her home. "Are you ok?"

I followed her eyes to my hands which were balled into tight fists and realised that the simmering down had not happened yet, and that I had started growling quietly.

"Jasper?" Her eyes were big and round.

I shook myself. "I'm sorry, darlin', just nervous."

She led the way into the house and pointed me to the living room, saying she wouldn't take a minute for the shower and dashed upstairs. I remained standing in the hall, trying not to think about Bella in the shower. My thoughts drifted anyway, and when I next focussed I was in her room, and she had just come in towelling her hair. She was wrapped in a bath towel, her skin rosy from the hot water and her scent hit me just like it had when I had first sneaked into this room. I swallowed hard and left fast, muttering something about waiting in the kitchen.

She was still frowning when she joined me five minutes later. "Are you really ok?" She asked, her voice so worried that I just wanted to reach out and hold her close, but she had sat down at the table and her body language did not encourage me. I could tell she was confused by my behaviour, as who wouldn't be.

"You wanted to know about Alice and me?" She nodded, so I told her how Alice had found me, how we'd been seeking out the Cullens together and joined them in their lifestyle.

"So you lived off animals for a long time?" She asked.

"Yes, we met Carlisle and Esme about 50 years ago."

"How old are you?"

"That depends. I was born in 1845, but I've been 19 for the past 147 years." I could see her gulping at the number of years, and added. "Bella, I'm not with Alice any longer. She… loves someone who isn't me, and I think love is not about changing yourself." I looked for agreement in her face and found it thoughtful.

Then she asked quickly. "So if you've left Alice are you going to give up on the animal blood thing too? Can you eat anything else? Or stop altogether?"

Ah, that was it. I smiled crookedly. "No, I'm afraid that's what I am. I can only drink blood. But I want to stay with my family – I need them to be a better person." I told her about the animal diet making it possible to stay at one place longer and having a fixed place and an almost human life. She took it all in, but I knew she was still curious about the other arrangements. "The others are alright about me staying, and Alice and I will have to work it out. We talked last night." She blinked, obviously remembering when she had finally put down the phone on me, so I answered her next question. "We don't sleep."

"Oh." She was biting her lip, thinking about all the information she had received. Her hair had started curling itself wildly while drying, and I was looking for an excuse to touch her again.

"Bella, do you want me to comb your hair?"

"What?" Surprised.

"Do you want me to sort out your hair for you?"

She gave me one of those warm smiles and said. "Only if you keep answering my questions."

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"Without the cowboying."

"Ok. We might have to move for that."

"Yes", she suggested the living room sofa and settled with her back to me after handing me a comb and a brush.

I sighed under my breath while I started separating her mahogany hair and taking in her scent again. Heaven. Flashes of a beautiful blond young woman sitting on a porch in front of me while I braided her hair appeared in my mind, and I smiled.

"Hey!"

"You haven't asked any questions", smugly.

"OK. Who are you?"

She sounded genuinely interested, and all I could feel from her was warmth and friendly curiosity, not fear or apprehension. I drew a sharp breath at the feelings that almost overwhelmed me. Bella noticed my shifting position and turned, her eyes worried and kind. "Is that a difficult question? Only, I know you're not Dr Cullen's son, who has moved here from Alaska, and…"

"No, Bella, the question is not wrong, it's just that… no one asked me that in a long time." Alice had claimed to know everything about me, and otherwise related questions mostly came up when other vampires saw my scars and wanted to know where I'd got them. In official forms of course I had kept lying about who I was as any vampire did.

There was sympathy in her eyes at once, and she reached out to tousle my hair. I revelled in her touch and strained to stay in control at the same time.

"Mmm", I gestured her to turn back and started on the brushing again. Then I told her about being born on a farm, about my parents and my sisters, about the little brother who died after a year, about my father trying to stop me from joining the army the first time I tried and about succeeding the next time. Everything from my human past became crystal clear again next to her, so much that I could almost smell the salty water of Galveston Bay, my last human memory. Then suddenly it was all back – the shock, the pain from the change, and then the thirst, burning up my throat with a vengeance. No longer could I see Bella's slender neck in front of me, but just prey and blood flowing under her delicate skin. I growled, and when she turned this time, she was definitely frightened.

"Jasper?"

I set my teeth, trying not to breathe and moved away from her.

"Are you in pain?" Fear had been replaced by concern. "Can I help you in any way?"

I turned and rushed out of the house and ran blindly into the forest.

Damn. Withdrawal. I should have known from the mood changes and the volatile temper all day. I needed something to take away the pain, fast. I knew exactly what would help, but that was the one thing I couldn't do. I was thrashing about the forest so loudly that I would not come across any animals soon, and after a while my instincts led me back to the populated areas. All my senses were heightened, I was in full attack mode, and greeted the scent of another vampire with a feral growl.

"Jasper, darling, it's me Esme, please calm down." Another growl.

"Carlisle, I've got him, can you please hurry?" The vampire near me didn't growl back but handed me a bag she had torn open with her teeth. "Please, drink."

Then Carlisle and the others were there too and brought me back to the house after feeding me animal blood.

Carlisle smiled at me. "Bella phoned us to say you were feeling sick and had rushed out to the forest."

"She sounds like a really nice girl. Please bring her round to see us soon", Esme joined in. Dimly I took in that Alice had been trying to comfort me, but I shrugged her of. Rose sighed and left with Emmett in tow.

"Where's Edward?" I rasped through my sore throat.

"He's checking on Bella", Esme said. "Now you get better and then we'll sort all this out." She was beaming at me and I had the absurd feeling she was about to tuck me into bed and wipe my brow – not that I would have minded. I knew the next few days would be hell, I had been there before.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:**** Of course I don't own Twilight. I do however lay claim to a rather low amount of patience and the stats page down for four days running now… has me making dangerous growling sounds…**

**Love your reviews!**

Ch11

_**Bella's diary**_

When I came upstairs after dinner Edward was in my room. I jumped at finding him there, and he apologised at once. "I wanted to tell you that all the family are very sorry for putting you in this kind of danger, and wanted to check once more you're alright."

"_I'm_ alright. How is Jasper? What is happening with him?"

Edward took a deep breath and answered. "In layman's terms, he's hungry. He would be fine the minute he had blood. Human blood", he added when I was about to interrupt him with "Give him some then!"

"And he's not going to get that?" I asked in a small voice.

"Not while he's with us he isn't. He knew that, yet he still came back with Carlisle. In your terms, he's experiencing withdrawal syndromes."

"Like a junkie?"

Edward nodded. "Yes. Bella, I know you don't like me to tell you what to do, but you of all people can't go near him. He is far too dangerous for you now."

"He was on my sofa when this started", I objected at once. The idea of not seeing Jasper for any amount of time …hurt, I realised.

"Yes", Edward agreed, "and I have no idea how you survived that. Please be reasonable! Calling me then was an excellent idea. Thank you very much."

"You're welcome. Say hi from me when you see him." I assumed he would be on his way back home to help with his brother.

He looked slightly uncomfortable. "I wanted to ask you… if I… if you minded me staying here. We're a bit scared he will slip us and head back here…"

"Stay here? In my bedroom? Are you out of your mind?"

"Bells? Everything ok?" Charlie had been worried about me since he had found me nervous and jumpy when he came back from work. I told him school was stressful at the moment, but I'm not sure he believed me.

"Yes, just on the phone", I called back to Charlie, glaring at Edward, who shrugged at me.

"Outside your window then?" He compromised.

"Why on earth would you think that necessary?"

He sighed. "He will be very … persuasive when he tries to get you to let him in."

"Aha", I shook my head. "If you're all that eager – fine." I left for the bathroom with my toiletry bag to get ready for bed.

When I came back there was no sign of Edward. I tried to calm down, but was not successful in that. Finally I called his name out the window quietly. "Yes?" Edward's voice close made me jump again.

"You should come with a bell. Could you give me the number of your dad or something so I can check on Jasper?"

He raised his eyebrows at me but gave me the number of the house anyway and disappeared again.

"Cullen residence?" The phone was answered by a cool female voice. The elder sister, I thought, trying to remember her name. Not a chance, I was far too worried about Jasper. "Hello, this is Bella, Bella Swan. I'm calling to know how Jasper is."

The voice became warmer at once. "Hi Bella, it's Rosalie Hale here. He is not good, Emmett and Carlisle are with him, and it will take some days I'm afraid." She sounded worried.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Thank you, it's very kind of you to ask, but the way he is at the moment..." She left the rest of the sentence open. "I'll tell him you called. Thank you for getting us so quickly, that was good thinking."

"I was just worried. He had been … moody all afternoon, and then he seemed very happy, but… Is he in pain?" I had just heard a scream in the background and flinched at the sound. I couldn't stand the thought of Jasper in pain I realised. There had been far too much pain in his eyes already when he talked.

"Bella, believe me, he's had far worse. He'll be alright. Tell you what: call his cell tomorrow after school. Only, don't let him talk you into any flight schemes, ok?"

"No, I won't. Edward already got to me. Can you tell him… Can you say hi to him from me?"

"I will. Good night, Bella."

"Thank you Rosalie." I hung up, swallowing. One thing had just become clear to me: I had fallen in love with Jasper, vampire or not, and I wanted to be together with him if that was at all possible.

The next morning neither Emmett nor Alice were in school. Rosalie and Edward waved me to their table for lunch – oh dear, no pun intended – and told me Jasper was not worse.

I grimaced, understanding very well that that only meant he wasn't better either. "How long does that last?" I asked.

"We can't really tell yet. He has been… clean for a long time…" Edward started, but Rosalie interrupted him. "Call him, Bella! If he's not up to answering, they will tell you."

"I don't think that's a good…" Edward started, but Rosalie just said. "I remember how Emmett felt the last time, let her call him."

I dashed outside, sat in my truck and dialled the number I had for Jasper.

A raspy voice answered. "Yes?"

"Jasper, it's me, Bella. I wanted…"

"Bella?" He sounded as if he couldn't believe his ears.

"Yes. How are you feeling?"

"Not good, darlin'." A moan. "It's good to hear your voice…" He broke off again, and I realised he found it hard to talk, so I told him I'd call him again after school.

When I got back to the cafeteria Rosalie and Edward were in an angry discussion. "What is it with you?" Edward hissed. "I thought Alice was your friend, and you were not interested in the human?"

"I know I said that, but the way she cares for Jasper is extraordinary, and she's really doing him good."

"Aha, and what can that come to, if I may ask? Have you remotely considered the consequences of the madman's actions?"

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I seem to remember it was you who started it", Rosalie's tone had gone back to the cool arrogance she usually sported, and she turned up her well-formed nose and left Edward standing.

I made sure I was not seen and went to Biology another way.

I called Jasper again after school, and this time he was delirious, insisting he had killed me the day before and I was some evil ghost posing as myself. When he started screaming again, I had Carlisle on the line. "Who is there?"

"I'm so sorry", I had tried hard to avoid this, but by now I was crying. "I didn't mean to make him more miserable."

"Bella?"

"Yes. I'm sorry. I won't call again."

"Don't worry so much. Try again later or tomorrow, I'm sure you will get through to him somehow." His voice was very kind, and I still could not believe Carlisle was a killing monster.

When I told Edward that, he smiled and said that as far as he knew Carlisle was the only vampire who had not killed a human in his long life. Then he tried to calm me down by telling me Carlisle's history and his relationship to his father – impressive.

This is a whole new world that I knew nothing of before I came to Forks, and it seems that one way or another I am going to be a part of it.

Saturday

The last few days have been a constant helter skelter: Some days Jasper was just weak, others he seemed to be raving, and once Emmett actually took the phone away from him when he started insulting me. There was a zapping sound, and then Emmett told me he had knocked him out, claiming he needed a thinking anaesthesia. The Cullens have taken turns at staying at home and looking after him, and whenever Alice was not there, I sat with them during lunch.

Today I tried to distract myself with work, and by now the house is squeaky clean, all the laundry is done and meals for next week are prepared. I even got most of my homework done during the week; I was so wired and needed something to do.

I'll try phoning him again.

Ah – new idea: This time I read to him from one of his favourite books, Thackeray's Vanity Fair, for two hours, until my phone went dead. We'll do this again tomorrow.

Sunday

Edward called me early this morning and told me to get out of town. When I asked where as I didn't know any people in the whole of Washington state apart from the Blacks at the rez, he said that was an excellent idea, and I should go there right away.

I thought he was a few dimes short of a dollar, and tried calling Jasper, but only Esme answered. "Bella? Jasper is not here. I thought Edward had reached you?" Then I got it and drove to La Push at once. My heart was beating in my throat, and I hoped it would be ok for me to just ambush Jake like this.

Evening

All clear – Jasper has returned and no damage was done. PHEW!

We spoke and he sounded a lot more positive than the evenings before. So did Carlisle, who called me back and thanked me for getting out of town.

For all the worry I spent quite a nice day with Jake, who was a bit grumpy and bad-tempered when I arrived, but brightened considerably when I suggested I cook lunch for him and his dad. He is building a Rabbit from scratch in his workshop, so I watched and handed him stuff, and we talked. It seems his friends have drifted into some kind of bad company, and he is getting worried about them. He says they have been missing school and have started hanging out with an older boy – Sam Uley. We saw them when we went for a walk in the afternoon. They were all in cut-offs and nothing else even though it was not particularly warm, and as Jake told me they had all gotten a tattoo. He called it "gone tribal" and made jokes about it. At the same time he seemed worried about Sam Uley keeping a close eye on him.

Anyway – fact of the matter: he'd like me to come back more often. I didn't commit myself, and he smelt a rat at once: "Boyfriend?"

I would not exactly have thought of my tall blond vampire under that heading, but my damn blush betrayed me at once, of course. I did however not give in to his teasing about presumed friend's identity.

_**Jasper's POV**_

If Edward is right and we are all damned then Hell will not be a new place for me. More than a week – it has never taken that long, and then Carlisle wouldn't want to let me go to school or see Bella alone until Edward and Alice gave me, or better my thoughts and intentions, a clean bill of health. Had it not been for my angel phoning me and reading to me, I think I should have lost what's left of my sanity. I can recall her voice even through the haze of the madness that took me over for the past days, and Esme told me she called and talked to me every day. Emmett and Carlisle drove me to the Canadian border to go hunting for mountain lions; to be sure I was well-fed tonight. They promised she could come 'round and watch some TV with the whole family if I was good. Esme went and got her some snacks and soda; I braved my first test and went into town to buy some chocolate for her. Whne I checked the clock again I saw it was two more hours. Time creeps around this place, I swear.

Now that I was going to see her tonight, I was all nervous: What if she had just been feeling sorry for me? Would she really be interested in being the mate of the wreck that I must have seemed to her on the phone? Alice had not been helpful at all, by enumerating why she and I were not really suited to each other. Lately though she seemed to have lost interest and kept getting text-messages quite often. Shame that Edward wouldn't tell me what she was hiding.

He went to pick her up for the movie-night, as she had called it to her dad. The Chief had allowed it on a school night as long as she was home by ten.

Waiting – again.

_**Bella's diary**_

I saw Jasper tonight – hooray! He looked quite lean, like someone who has been on a diet, but his eyes were golden and he was really happy to see me too. The rest of the family stayed with us for the evening, we watched a movie, and no one said anything when Jasper stayed close to me on the sofa. They were all tense, but I noticed that they became more relaxed as the evening drew on, and in the end Carlisle nodded to Jasper as if he was congratulating him.

Edward brought me home just in time and had to listen to all my enthusing about his brother being fit again – poor boy. We have become quite close, he seems to be a good friend when he's not playing overprotective, and he really is the perfect gentleman.

I couldn't wait for Charlie to go to bed so I could make my good-night phone call to Jasper – which took a rather long time this night (sigh!), and we have decided to meet at the diner tomorrow for coffee after my chores.


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N: I know this chapter is quite short, but there is another longer one coming up whic hI have yet to write and I didn't want to keep you waiting long.**_

_**In case you're hooked and need some more of my take on vamps, check out my original stories on fictionpress(dot)com under the same penname - I've just uploaded chapter 21 of the first novel. You can also get a sneak preview at the second at the same place. See you there!**_

_**As always: the Twilight characters belong to SM.**_

CH12

Jasper's POV

I drove to Olympia early in the morning because I wanted to get a present for Bella. Ambling around the shops there I thought I picked up the scent of other vampires. Nomads. I would have to alert Carlisle to that, so that we could all keep an eye out for them. Unfortunately Washington State and its climate hold attractions not only for those of us who want to live in quiet. Being able to be out during the day most of the year usually gets us a few visitors in Summer when other places are too light for us to simply blend in. I was not interested in a meeting, which might result in them leaving after having seen my scars, but then again, it might also put some newborns or reckless idiots up for a confrontation, something I definitely did not need at the moment. So instead of following the scent I quickly went to the small ethnic jewellery shop next to the one of Alice's favourite boutiques and bought a silver and turquoise bracelet for Bella, which could remind her of Arizona.

I drove back singing at the top of my voice at the prospect of meeting her in a short time, and for the first time in my long life I did not pay attention to the road. Sure enough, as soon as I got near Forks city limits, I was flagged down – oh no – by Chief Swan himself.

"Do you know how fast you were going, son?" He asked when I had rolled down the window. I saw Bella had his eyes, I just hoped she would never look at me that critical.

"I'm afraid not, Sir", I answered overcome with remorse. Damn, I had imagined my introduction to Bella's father completely differently. "I'm so sorry, I was out of line. It won't happen again." I handed over license and registration.

"Ah, you're one of Dr Cullen's boys, aren't you?" He asked, taking notes of my identity.

"Yes, Sir," flinching. So even the name 'Hale' on my ID had not put him off the track.

"Then I know where to send the ticket", he wrote out a form for me and waved me on my way. "Drive safely!"

"Of course. Good day to you!" I drove on five miles below the limit, still embarrassed at Bella's father's first impression of me.

I parked near the diner, and waited for my angel to arrive. It had been for Esme's sake that I had agreed to that kind of public rendezvous; if it had been up to me I would have met her where I could be sure of some alone time – damn I wanted that. The weather forecast for tomorrow was sunny, and a plan had already formed in my mind. I was careful not to take a decision though for fear of Alice betraying me to Edward who was sure to come up with opposition.

Bella arrived just in time, her hair blowing behind her as she ran up the steps to the diner. I took her in, wondering again how it was possible that she cared for me. With her I was sure I had found my soul mate, and I would not let her go.

"Jasper!" She called eagerly, dashing to the booth I had taken. I thought I had died and gone to heaven when she bent down and pecked me on my cheek. Her scent that close to me was enough to almost make me faint.

I smiled and tried to play it cool, getting her the latte macchiato she wanted and enjoyed her company. She was all bubbly and wired – it seemed that her chores for the weekend were done – so I decided to ask her if she'd like to spend the next day with me as well.

"I thought you couldn't come out when it's sunny", she said, curiosity oozing from her.

"Mmm, as you're in on us anyway, I wanted to show you something."

"Do you want to take me out while you hunt?" Alarmed.

I snickered. "No, I wouldn't do that. I wanted to show you my favourite place in the sun. Will you come?" Would she agree to be out in the woods with me alone? If it could, my heart would have been beating in my throat.

"It doesn't hurt you then?" Was her only concern. When I shook my head, she said. "Yes, I'd like that. Charlie will be with Billy all day tomorrow, and he said I couldn't come anyway because Jake has caught a bug…"

"Whoa, wait", I tensed. "Who?"

She filled me in on her family's connection to the Reservation and her childhood friend Jacob. I breathed out. Wonderful – take my girl to get involved with every kind of monster there is. True to the treaty however I just smiled and said. "Well, that's great. Should I get you a picnic hamper for the day then?"

She laughed. "How would you do that?"

"Leave the quest to me, m'lady!" I mimicked a gallant bow.

"OK, Sir Ivanhoe, you do that. I'd like a break from preparing food for a day."

We stayed at the diner for more than two hours, ignoring the people from school who frowned at us, revelling in each other's company. Afterwards we took a stroll down high street window-shopping, not that there was really much to see, but we were content with being together, and for me it was such a typical human thing to do that I quite liked it. When she had to get back for dinner with her dad, I drove her home in her truck, saying I'd get my car later. I wanted to prolong the time we spent together.

Bella frowned when she saw the cruiser was parked when we arrived, and her father was just unlocking the front door. "Don't worry," I told her, sensing that she was not comfortable with introducing me to him yet – I wasn't either, better pick another day for that. "I'll get out later, you go ahead." She flashed me a grateful smile and left.

I waited till she had gone inside and then got my car to go home to try and relax from all the strain of not simply sweeping her away. I had the idea of giving her the present tomorrow and make sure it was a day so perfect that she would not refuse me.


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N:**__** Twilight belongs to S. Meyer.**_

_**OK – the longest chapter so far, and I'm even splitting it in two so you get your daily dose of story. Thanks for the feedback, you keep me going!**_

CH 13

_**Jasper's POV**_

I was very careful not to think about my afternoon with Bella as well as about planning the excursion for tomorrow. I had told her I would call her in the morning about it – in other words: I was trying to keep Edward and Alice out of my plans.

Somewhere along the line I must have slipped, because when I got back into my room after a shower Edward was waiting for me, almost trembling with rage. "How dare you think about her like that? She is seventeen, for God's sake!"

Oops – what had he caught? I played for time towelling my annoying hair.

"Answer me!" The villain look-a-like from the Gothic novel thundered. "What are your intentions?"

"Are you her Victorian elder brother or what?" I came from an earlier age than he did, but it seems my Texan upbringing and my experience so far had been more… liberal. He even averted his eyes until I had slipped into jeans and my favourite cobalt blue t-shirt.

"No, but I'm her friend, and in contrast to you I want what's best for her!"

"And what would that be?" I drawled.

"Definitely not… cavorting around with a lecherous vampire", he spit.

I took a deep breath and tried to send him some calm – otherwise I would lose it too. "Edward, I love her. It's what people who are in love do." I was not going to discuss any details with him – he probably knew every detail of Alice's and my love-life already. I wanted Bella to myself.

"You can't do that. You'll break her!" He hit a chair for emphasis which crashed at once.

"You'll explain that to Esme", I told him. "Besides, you're wrong. In contrast to you I know what I'm doing." His anger was contagious, and my patience was definitely wearing thin. "Now get out!"

"Do you think you could find a more convenient time to rearrange the shape of the furniture?" Rosalie's tousled head appeared in my door. "Em and I were trying to have some quiet time."

"Oh, no, Edward, that was an antique chair", Esme was looking over her shoulder.

"Is this Grand Central Station or what?" I gave up trying to be alone. "Esme, is Carlisle in his study?" She nodded, and I went to tell him about the Nomad's scent I had picked up in Olympia.

He closed the book he had been reading and sighed. "We'll have to monitor that, see if it comes closer. You didn't recognize it?"

I shook my head. It had been so long since I'd been with wild vampires, I was quite sure I would not know every one on the North American continent any longer.

"Well, at least Forks is such a small place that it should not be worth their time. But it certainly means I have to call the Quileutes." He checked the time and frowned. "In the morning. How are you?"

"I'm great actually thanks for asking", I said, but was interrupted by Edward at once, who had followed me. "I'm not going to allow it." He crossed his arms and looked very determined.

"Good, because I'm definitely not asking you about what I do with my woman."

Carlisle rubbed his face with his hands. He could sense the impatience coming from me, I was at the end of my tether with my brother.

"Edward, please come in here for a second", Carlisle said in his softest voice, and I breathed out. If Carlisle handled it, it would be fair.

When I got back to my room and was clearing the debris my brother had left me, I realised something odd: my vision-seeing pixie ex-wife had not joined the merriment at all – unusual. I concentrated and blinked. Alice wasn't in. Hunting? Anyway, I had other things to worry about.

_**Bella's diary**_

Strange the way a perfect day can come to such an end! I'm still shaken and as yet I have no idea what to do about it.

It all was so perfect at the beginning: Charlie had left early as usual, and Jasper called me and picked me up with his fast dark car. He stood outside the door looking like he had just stepped out of a magazine in his well-cut jeans and boots with a blue t-shirt that showed off his shiny hair.

"Ready to go to your surprise picnic?" He drawled, a smile on his face that should be outlawed for mere cockiness.

I grinned back (in order not to drool) and said. "Yep – is this ok?" I was in slacks and one of my peasant blouses.

"You're perfect, darlin', and I'm one lucky guy."

He drove us out of Forks in the La Push direction but left the main road quite soon. We went a logging road for some miles , then he stopped. "This is as far as the car goes, I'm afraid. I'll take you the rest of the way." He picked me up without further ceremony after fastening a backpack to his broad shoulders and started running. Having had this experience once before I closed my eyes. I really didn't want to fall flat on my face in front of him when we arrived; though… with Jasper I wasn't really worried. Although he moved as elegantly as his siblings, the incident in the kitchen had showed that he was no stranger to the kind of weird accidents that have been following me all my life. Had I fallen over, he would probably just have said "oops!" and picked me up without comment. Edward was getting quite annoyed with my klutziness in Biology – I could tell that from his exasperated look even when he said nothing. I had never felt more… at home with any person outside my family than with this 100 something year-old vampire.

A cloud was covering the sun when Jasper stopped running and let me down gently. I looked around. "Where are we?"

"It's a meadow, a little above the cloud line on this mountain. No one comes here, and I found I like it to… get away and be by myself. It's not always easy to live in a house with lots of people with excellent hearing." He smiled crookedly, and I nodded. I too liked my space. The meadow was full on fresh grass and bluebell grew in clusters. It was surrounded by dense forest on all sides, and a little stream flowed quietly from one end to the other.

Jasper busied himself emptying out the backpack and spreading a blanket on the ground for us to sit on. I snickered. He had brought along food enough to feed a family.

"I know. I wasn't sure what you'd like, so I brought a choice of things." Sandwiches, grapes, fresh strawberries, a small container of whipped cream, a container of green, one of noodle salad, cookies and a choice of beverages from sparkling white wine to cans of soda. He had even thought of a thermos of coffee, complete with cream and little sugar sachets.

"Tada!" He said and produced a bar of expensive chocolate from another pocket of the backpack.

"Wow!" I said taking it all in. "You… don't expect me to eat all this by myself?"

"Why not?" Innocent tone, eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Well, that might take a long time." I sat down. I hadn't had breakfast, suspecting something like this, and by now I felt ravenous.

"Take all the time you want, as long as you stay with me." Jasper had sat down next to me and handed me a drink.

"Who wouldn't want to stay with you?" I asked surprised and apologised at once. "Sorry, that was cheesy."

"No, of course, who would not want to stay with a pale, cold undead killer?" He said, his face clouding over.

"Jasper, that is not all you are, and I really like being with you." I reached up for his hair and ran my fingers through it.

He threw back his head and purred in appreciation. "Mmmmmm." At that moment the sun came out, and then I saw why they couldn't go out on sunny days. His skin was sparkling, reflecting the sun's rays like diamonds.

"Wow, you are beautiful", I said.

His eyes opened and he smiled at me. "Nothing like you." It seemed he wanted to say more but pulled back at the last minute. "Desert?"

"Always!" I said with conviction, and he giggled and fed me a plump strawberry he had dipped into cream.

"Why do you like to be with me?" He asked, trying to hide how nervous he was.

"Want to be flattered much?"

"Humour me or I'll stop the desert train!" The next cream-covered strawberry stopped in the air.

I smiled at his eager face. "You're kind and have a great sense of humour. You have something to say, but you always take time to listen. You feel …right to me and", I tried to hide behind one of the cushions he had brought. "of course you're really good-looking."

"Why am I not allowed to see your face when you say than?" He wrestled the cushion from me.

I blushed. "Because I'm embarrassed about thinking how …hot you are." I took the cushion back and buried my face in it. God, I must have sounded like an infatuated teenager talking about her favourite pop-idol.

I heard some rustling in the backpack, then Jasper fastened something cold around my right wrist. I sat up again, curios what he had done. On my wrist was the most beautiful bracelet, one of those Navajo ones with silver and turquoise with just about the right balance between intricate and plain.

"It's for you. You cared for me even when I was least deserving. I wanted to give you something in return."

"Thank you, I always wanted one of those!"

"Why did you never get one in Arizona?" He looked at me quizzically.

"I didn't have the money, and I never thought to tell anyone I wanted it, so obviously Renee didn't get me one."

"Renee?"

"My mom." I explained our relationship, and Jasper listened interestedly. Then he enquired about Charlie too, and smiled at my description.

"Do they know how much you care for them?" He looked at me tenderly.

"Don't all parents?"

"I'm not sure. So much has changed in family relationships since my time."

"Do you want to tell me some more about your parents?" I asked. "You don't have to if it's …"

"I will – some other time. Bella, do you believe in soul-mates?"

I frowned. "As in that classics myth, the lost half?"

Jasper nodded. "Yes."

"Well, my parents got divorced…"

"That's not what I asked. What do you think? Haven't you felt something… special about us?" His eyes were boring into mine with an intensity that would have scared me had it not been Jasper whom I would trust with my life.

"I told you how I feel." My heart was beating in my throat. I had never been with a boy or a man like this.

He did not break the eye-contact and his voice became husky. "I feel the same way about you, you make me feel whole. Bella, I love you, and I want to be with you if you want me too."

When I nodded I suddenly felt a wave of happiness flood over me, and Jasper leaned towards me and kissed me again. I think I've never been happier in my life.

He lowered me down on my back carefully, so he was on top of me, supporting his weight on his arms and breathed my name, his eyes black with desire and started kissing my face and down to my neck. I felt my body tingling all over, and reached out for him to pull him closer, when…

well…

you could say: all hell broke loose.

There was a growling sound like I hadn't ever heard in my life and when I looked for the source of the noise I saw two wolves coming closer to us from the meadow's edge at an alarming speed. More alarming than the speed or the sounds they made was their size: they were as tall as a small horse.

Jasper was already up and crouched before me, and I could feel he was unnaturally tense. And angry. When the wolves came closer he took off his t-shirt and started growling too. The smaller one of the animals stopped and let out a yelping sound, like a puppy and looked to its companion. The bigger grey one barked back briefly and continued.

I stopped breathing. Soon they would collide with Jasper, and I was not sure what would be happening then. My vampire growled again, even more menacing than before, and the smaller wolf turned and ran his tail between his legs. The other continued his attack and jumped at Jasper, all pointy teeth and growling. I was scared it would tear Jasper to pieces and I must have screamed because I heard a high pitched scream that could have come from no one else. Suddenly I felt light-headed, and then I must have fainted, because I awoke on the ground.

Jasper was close to me, fussing over me. "Bella, it's alright, you're safe."

"Safe!" I heard another voice nearby which sounded like Edward's. "You must be kidding; they're probably on their way already. Damn. Ah, Carlisle, you need to come here immediately, those Quileute wolves are completely out of control. They attacked Jasper and Bella. We need you here, with your bag." He snapped the phone shut and glared at Jasper, who had slipped his shirt back on and wanted to wrap the blanket around me.

I frowned. "No. What was that? Is the monster gone?" Then I saw him: On the ground not too far from us lay a russet-skinned boy, quite naked. He was writhing as if in pain, and he looked as if he had been hit by a truck. I blinked when I recognized him. It was Paul from the reservation, one of Jake's friends. "Did the wolf bite him?" I asked, confused.

No answer came from Jasper or Edward, who had tensed and were now both crouching in front of me. I turned my eyes to where they were staring and gulped: a whole group of those enormous wolves was streaking toward us.

Suddenly Carlisle was with us and started talking to the wolves. They did not stop in their approach, and that must have been the moment when I lost consciousness again.

_**Jasper's POV**_

"Edward, can you translate if they won't change back?" Carlisle asked. Edward nodded and Carlisle turned to the huge black wolf. "Sam, what is going on? Why are you breaking the treaty by attacking my son on our side of the boundary?"

"He almost killed Paul." Edward translated, and I cut in: "I defended Bella and myself. He and his companion showed up and started the whole thing." I nodded towards the naked boy, who was making whimpering noises.

"Let's clear this up so I can help your friend", Carlisle said. "Why would anyone of your pack go against us here? I called you about the nomads, didn't I?"

"They say Jasper was about to bite Bella", Edward said in a flat voice.

"I was not. Ask her!" I was outraged. We had been attacked by those outsized dogs – they took children for that nowadays – and I had to defend myself.

"You were lying on top of her and had your teeth near her neck", Edward said in an accusing tone that I was sure was not wholly due to the translation.

"She is my girlfriend. I brought her here for a picnic and to give her a present. And to have some privacy", I said, trying to calm down, which was not easy with Bella unconscious next to me and the whole pack of wolves out for my blood.

The Alpha barked something at the other wolves, then they all retreated, only to come back a minute later, Sam in the lead.

_**Bella's diary**_

I woke up in Jasper's arms when Carlisle gave me a shot. "This will keep you a bit more stable", he said in that kind voice that still had me doubting about him being a vampire.

A whole group of people was standing around me. I shook myself like a dog coming out of water and took another look at them. "Jake? Emrby? Quil? What are you doing here?"

Then I saw the tall Quileute Jake had been so annoyed about lately, Sam Uley, coming toward me. "Bella, what happened here?"

I blushed. "That's private." I was not going to discuss Jasper's kisses with the La Push youngsters.

"Were you here voluntarily?"

I frowned. "Of course. Jasper and I wanted to have a picnic, and some time alone." I still felt hot, so I probably still was more of a red-skin than the Indians.

"You were on a date? With him?" Jake screamed as if he couldn't believe his ears and took another step toward me. Edward tensed and Jasper growled, then said in a carefully controlled voice. "She is my mate. Keep your distance!"

"You can't do that!"

Jasper looked at Sam coldly. "I'm not doing anything to her. I'm not breaking any treaty. If you feel confident about threatening me – feel free." His voice was calm, but it could not have been more threatening if he had shouted.

"Jasper!" Carlisle said calmly. "It seems this is a misunderstanding", he checked Sam's face and Sam nodded guardedly. "Now may I treat this young man? He needs medical attention."

"Not from you, you leech!" Quil said, but Sam stared him down, and Carlisle went to the battered Paul to take care of him.

Jasper wrapped his arm around me and said. "I'm taking Bella home." Then he lifted me up and ran me back to his car.

I was completely confused, and once we were seated inside I bombarded him with questions, and he told me the story of the treaty between the Cullens and the Quileutes. And about the wolves. Seems there's definitely more between Heaven and Earth than what we learn at school.

At home Jasper put me to bed and stayed with me to calm me down. I liked that, and was almost reconciled with the day when I heard the cruiser pull into the driveway. I checked the time – definitely too early for Charlie to be back.

I had not quite finished that thought when the door to my room was ripped open, and Charlie burst in. He took one look at Jasper and froze. "You! Of course. Get out of my house!"

"Charlie?"

"No Bells. Out! Now!"

"Dad, he is my…"

Jasper shook his head at me. "I better leave. Chief Swan." He nodded to Charlie on the way out, and I was alone with my dad who looked as angry as I had never before seen him.

Phew – need to stop writing now, I'll continue tomorrow.

_**comment by my daughter: you can't do that! Such a cliffhanger! **__**me: yes, I can, I want to spend some time with your dad! I'll write the next part tomorrow. daughter: that's totally mean, I don't get any more til then either! me: we…ell **___


	14. Chapter 14

_**Disclaimer:**__** I do not own the Twilight Characters, even though for the moment they seem to run my life…**_

CH14

_**Jasper's POV**_

Introducing myself to Bella's father was not a good idea, not with the waves of anger he was sending to me and the worry he had for his daughter. So I left the house, not wanting to be between Bella and her father whom she loved so much, but I didn't want to leave them alone. I needed to find out what had made Chief Swan so mad and what my chances were. I listened in on their conversation from the tree outside Bella's window.

"Can you tell me what got into you that you're throwing my friend out?" Bella's enraged voice.

I heard a creaking sound, he must have sat down on her bed, then: "Bells, you know I always spoke highly of the Doc's kids, but that young man is not good company. Besides he is far too old for you."

"Aha? Why's that? He's nineteen, and I really like him." She was playing with her new bracelet.

"Bella, I caught him speeding yesterday, and then today he beat up one of the LA Push youngsters, badly."

"Paul has an evil temper, ask Jake about it, and Jasper just defended himself."

"Defended? He broke the boy's leg and collarbone, and slapped him around so hard that he's black and blue all over. To top it all, his jaw was smashed as well. The one with the temper problem is that Hale guy. If you ask me, the only reason why they're not pressing charges is that the doc treated him for free."

"I…", she started, but her dad continued. "And yes, I did ask the La Push boys about Hale, Sam said they knew he was trouble, and that I should make sure you stayed out of his way. What are you doing with him anyway; I thought you were into his brother, that Edward chap?"

"No. Charlie, Jasper is very important to me, I'm sure he would never hurt me." Her panicked voice cut me like a knife.

"No, I only got you back, I'm not letting you run around with some hoodlum who can't control his temper. Bells, I want you to promise me that you won't go out with him anymore."

"I can't do that, I…"

"Fine, you're grounded then."

"Charlie, I'm almost 18."

"That's right – almost. Bella, until you can promise me, you won't see him again, you're staying here after school. Do I make myself clear?"

"That is unfair. You take Sam's word for it and don't even listen to Jasper's side." I heard the tears in her voice.

"I don't need to hear his side. If there was something to be said for him I think the Doc would have stood up for him. He was there when I spoke to Sam Uley. Besides, the speeding alone shows a disregard for the law that I can't condone. No, that is my final word." He got up and left her room. I could sense only sadness and worry from him, he wanted what was best for his daughter, and I couldn't blame him for that. Besides, in a way he was right, from every perspective apart from my own I was a bad choice for her: I was dangerous, I was about to steal her from her family and friends, and I was eventually going to kill her to make sure we could be together. But I was sure she was my soul-mate and Bella had told me she felt the same – there was no way I would give up.

Bella had thrown herself on her bed and was crying quietly. I could not bear that, so I knocked on her window lightly. She jumped a little when she saw me, but opened the window, which thanks to my brother's creepy stalking habits was well oiled.

"Jasper, you can't be in here. My dad…"

"I know, darlin', I heard." She blinked at that. I shrugged my shoulders. "I couldn't just leave you."

"What are we going to do?" She curled into my arms and I stroked her back trying to send her some soothing calm, but I didn't really feel that either.

"We'll have to work something out." I lifted her chin so I could see her eyes. "I'm not giving up on this, Bella; I've found you after one and a half centuries. I need you far too much."

She blinked away the tears and kissed me, and I knew I had been right about her feelings for me.

I stayed with her, holding her until she fell asleep, then I left. There were some things I had to deal with at home.

When I arrived back at the house, all the lights were on, they had been waiting for me. Good. I went to the dining room we usually used for family conferences and sat down next to Emmett.

Carlisle looked at me sadly. "I'm sorry, Jasper, apparently this was a misunderstanding. Sam told me Paul and Seth were running patrol on the boundary when they picked up a combination of vampire and human scent, so they went to check."

I tried to stay calm. "How is the boy?"

"He will heal fast, but you were not exactly easy on him."

I grimaced. "How would you have felt about him if he had attacked you as aggressively as he did with Esme there?"

Carlisle smiled and Emmett slapped my shoulder congratulating me, but Edward's reaction was icy. "Yes, but you did not think that through, did you? The second they realised who you were they asked for reinforcements by their strange thought line, and the only thing you achieved was putting Bella in more danger of being mauled by the whole pack."

I threw him a look indicating I wanted to talk to him later on alone._ And why were you there? Were you stalking me on my date? Do you have any idea how creepy that is?_

Edward snorted disapproval at me, though I could sense a bit of a bad conscience.

Esme tried to intervene having seen our exchange. "Telephoning Carlisle straightway was an excellent idea, Edward. It was good to help your brother. How is Bella?" She turned to me.

"Grounded and forbidden to see me." I said and felt sympathy from Rosalie, Emmett and Esme at the same time that I felt glee from Edward. Alice radiated indifference. "Chief Swan is not too happy with me at the moment. It seems he was briefed by the dogs." I looked at Carlisle, whose not speaking up for me had hurt me deeply.

Carlisle understood at once and threw me an apologetic glance. "There was nothing I could do at the time, that Jacob Black made sure Chief Swan was given bad news about you, and I could not very well tell him that his long-time friends were lying because they're werewolves and don't like us for our nature. It was a very unfortunate constellation, and I promise you, Jasper, I'll make up for it."

I nodded to Carlisle, knowing I could trust him on this, but another thing had been irking me about the whole affair. "Didn't you see anything, Alice? Couldn't you have warned everyone about the wolves attacking?"

Alice looked contrite, and I was sure that was not acted – I knew her too long to be fooled. "I'm really sorry, Jazz. I had… sneaked a look about your date, but I didn't want to intrude on you." She looked to Edward, and I understood she was also not happy to get in between me and her favourite brother. "But there was something wrong, I didn't see anything of you or Edward when the wolves attacked. They must be responsible for that – like a blind spot, you simply disappeared."

"That sounds interesting", Carlisle said at once and started to question Alice about it.

I signalled to Edward to come outside with me.

"What?" He started off arrogantly. The bad conscience was still there.

"The stalking?" I prompted. "Did you like what you saw?"

"I was worried about you and her alone so soon after you had slipped. She is your singer, how much control do you think you have?"

"Enough to keep her alive and be with her. Can you stay away? If it helps at all I can tell you she feels perfectly safe with me, which you probably heard if you were listening as well."

His eyes were huge at once. "You can… read her feelings?"

I was confused. "Of course I can."

"Ah", he said and disappeared to play the piano.

Only later that night the full implications of his question became clear to me. Very interesting, that. I stowed my new knowledge away for further reference.

_**Bella's diary**_

Ungh! Charlie was absolutely horrible. He doesn't want to hear anything about me and Jasper, he has grounded me after Sam and his gang of monsters told him tall tales about Jasper, and he's putting me in a horrible situation. I can hardly tell him that those wolves probably have their very own agenda when they discouraging people against being with the Cullens.

That idea was confirmed today when the Blacks came over to watch the match on our flatscreen. Excuse – plain and simple.

Billy and Charlie watched the match and Jacob took me to task for my choice of boyfriend in the kitchen under the pretence of helping me with the washing up.

"Are you out of your mind to go to a secluded spot with one of those leeches?" Jacob asked me.

"What?"

"He could have drained you and no one would have known where you were."

"I thought it was part of the treaty that you trusted the Cullens?"

Jake snorted. "The doc and his family, yes, but not necessarily the warrior."

"What are you on about now?" He had lost me. How could Jasper's Confederate army experience make him different?

"Seth told me what your… friend looked like with his shirt off, don't lie to me."

I thought back to the afternoon before, and all I could remember about Jasper shirtless was that he definitely had looked amazing. "I don't know what you mean."

"Bella, this nice young man you were making out with yesterday has hundreds of scars, battle scars from other vampires. He must have killed quite a lot of them, not to mention the humans he sucked dry on the way before he became part of the Cullen coven. Why do you think he took off his shirt?"

"I have no idea."

"He wanted to threaten us by showing us that we were up against a real bad-ass vampire who had no scruples killing his own kind, let alone one of us. Did you hear what that monster did to Paul?"

"Yes, Charlie told me last night. But Jake, I love him, and to be honest, he was not the only monster in the meadow yesterday. You should have seen those wolves!"

"Bella, I know what we look like when we're changed, but we're there to protect you, can you get that in your head?" He had visibly aged since I had last seen him, he had filled out and that puppy look had been replaced by muscles. He also seemed sad and worried.

"You don't need to worry about me, Jake, I can handle that, and Jasper and I are really happy."

"Sure, sure. Did you even hear what he called you yesterday or were you still out then?"

"What do you mean now?"

"He called you his mate. Bella, he wants to make you one of theirs."

"Whoa, that was our first date!" Sure, Jasper was very serious about us, but I was equally sure he would not do anything to me without asking.

"You don't understand: They are monsters. They are not even alive. You can't just hang out with them and expect not to get hurt."

"That's rubbish, Jake, Carlisle and Esme are some of the nicest people I've ever met. Charlie likes them a lot, and Jasper's brothers are good company too. You'd like Emmett. Maybe you should get to know people before you judge them."

"And you think you know them, right?" Jake let that hang in the air and went to join Charlie and his father in the living room.

I shook my head exasperatedly, tidied the rest of the kitchen and went upstairs. It had been too sunny for the Cullens to be in school this morning, but Jasper had phoned me and promised to come to my room later on.

As soon as I closed the door, my cell rang, Jasper: "Darlin', I'm sorry, there is a complication."

"Which one is that?" I asked, disappointedly.

"I can't come to your house now. The young wolf would flip his lid, which would be dangerous to everyone in there. Alice says the weather's going to be better for us tomorrow, so I'll see you in school. Keep your chin up!"

I sighed. "You too. I'm looking forward to school tomorrow."

"Good night, darlin'." He hung up before I could say anymore.

I got ready for bed and read for a little, when a disturbing thought came to me. If he knew the Blacks were here, he had been outside for the evening and probably heard Jake's and my conversation. Was that why he was uneasy about talking to me longer? I cursed Jake for sowing doubts between me and Jasper, but it kept nagging at me, and I did not sleep well at all.

_**Phew! Finished for today! Keep up the good work reviewing my story. Even my original**__** story at fictionpress sports two reviews by now. Maybe you could get those two lonely texts some company?**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**Disclaimer: As of last time I still don't own Twilight and its characters.**_

Ch15

_**Jasper's POV**_

I ran for miles, just to get away from all the chaos that was suddenly surrounding what I wanted to become my dream of life with Bella. Damn that stupid dog! And to add insult to injury Edward had been whistling all day – apparently he had had good news about that visit to Seattle with Bella. A growl escaped me. If I felt even the smallest inkling that he was going to touch her while they were away from Forks I would… I took a deep, unneeded breath and tensed. The nomads again. OK, I was almost in Olympia. I followed the scent, taking care to be careful though. I wanted to see, not to be seen. It would also not be a good idea to come upon them feeding, they would attack me, and with human blood flowing nearby they were in the advantage. Ten minutes later I saw them, nomads, as ragged as they came. There were two of them, a male and a female, hungry. They didn't look like newborns but they had a shifty look, even for vampires, and before I could come closer they took flight. Maybe they had gotten my scent, maybe they had been alarmed by something else. I checked their lair to be sure to remember their scent and maybe find out something about them, but apart from some blood-stained clothes to small to fit either of them, there was nothing.

I went back to Forks a roundabout way making sure to cross water several times in case it had been a feint and they were following me. By the time I got back it was time to get ready for school. I showered and dressed in a hurry to join the others who were waiting for me near Edward's car.

"Sorry", I apologized, and Edward rolled his eyes impatiently.

"When are you planning to go to Seattle?" I asked him.

"Thursday if Banner gets us off school, Friday afternoon if necessary. This friend of his is very relaxed with dates."

"Mm. Guys, could you look out for the Nomads, too? I saw them last night, and they looked quite wild."

"Did you approach them?" Rosalie asked. I shook my head.

"Alice? Can you see anything about them?"

"Huh?" She looked up from her phone and turned to me in the back. I repeated my question, and she shook her head. "Not so far, but I'll keep a look out, ok?"

"What are you going to do about Bella?" Emmett asked me quietly.

"No idea. The Blacks got to her yesterday and gave her another earful, and they stayed quite late, so I couldn't very well get in."

"What rotten luck", Rosalie sympathised. "I have been thinking about it, and maybe I've got an idea for you, if she will play along."

I smiled thanks to my blonde sister, and she said. "You're welcome, twin, anytime."

Bella was just getting out of her truck when we arrived, and I noticed at once she was tired. I took her bag and put my arm around her. "Hey, beautiful, didn't you sleep well?"

She gave me a smile and nodded. "It's just a bit much at the moment."

I sensed unease and pushed some of her hair behind her ears. "Are you having second thoughts about us?"

"Jasper, please, we can't do this in the parking lot. Can you see me after school? Charlie will be at the station, and I only promised not to go out with you."

I shook my head smiling. "You're wicked, darlin', remind me not to trust you. I'll see you then, ok?"

She nodded and went to her lessons.

For the rest of the day I did not take anything in, worrying about Bella. Time passed as if it was stuck in molasses, and by the last period I was so jumpy and nervous that I must have been projecting: the whole class was on edge by the time the bell rang, and everyone – the teacher included – drew a breath of relief and got out as fast as they could.

"Man, what is it with you today?" Emmett asked exasperatedly.

"Bella's having second thoughts. I… can't loose her."

"Hey, she liked you on Sunday, didn't she?"

"Yes, but I hadn't beaten up someone near her then."

"Oh boy, Jasper, you were much scarier all last week, if that didn't put her off, you should be alright." His slapped my back. "Go for it, you deserve some warmth and happiness."

He went to Edward's car and got in. When I didn't, I felt Edward in my head at once.

_I'm meeting Bella._

His eyes narrowed, and I could feel his disapproval. I saw him exchange a glance with Alice and frown, then he got in and left with screeching tires.

I approached the Swan house carefully and found that had been a good idea. Not five minutes after Bella's truck pulled in, I saw the cruiser stop in front, and the chief got out and entered his house.

He talked to Bella for a while about eating out at the diner that night and then left. I shook my head at the easy to see through rouse affectionately. He clearly loved Bella, but he was too much of a policeman and caring father to completely trust a teenage daughter.

We would have to take up Rosalie's idea – whatever it was – if we wanted to keep seeing each other. When the coast was clear I knocked on the front door.

Bella opened and pulled me inside quickly. "My dad was just…"

"I know", I mumbled against her hair. "God, it's been too long."

"Will you come up to my room, just in case?"

I nodded and followed her. I liked her room, it had her personality written all over it even though she had been here for such a short time.

We spent the first ten minutes catching up on her day. She was excited about going to Seattle with Edward on Thursday.

"Are you sure your dad will let you go with one of us?"

"Edward said he had it all covered. Carlisle will talk to Charlie about this great opportunity which can't be missed…"

"…and assure him I won't be in it", I added frustrated. Trust Edward to make sure he got to spend time with my angel. I flopped onto her bed.

"Maybe", she came over and tousled my hair. "but we will make time for each other."

I purred, and she chuckled. "You like that, don't you?" She continued her work and sat down with me. "Jasper, why did you take off your shirt when those wolves attacked us on Sunday?"

I sighed. Now it came. "I thought my scars would be enough to get them to retreat. It usually works."

"Your scars?" She wrinkled her nose quizzically. "Can you show me?"

I braced myself. Now she would change her mind about me being good-looking. I took off my shirt and tossed it aside, tense and afraid of her reaction.

Bella frowned. "I don't see…"

"Without the sun you won't see them", I took her hand and traced her fingers along my arms.

"Oh", she said. "They're almost all the same shape."

"They are bites."

She continued tracing them. "There are hundreds of them. What happened to you, Jasper?" She sounded worried, but I could also sense the fear installed by that gossiping wolf-boy.

"I was in a war", I said, hoping against hope that that would suffice.

"Yes, but…" she sounded confused. "Were there vampire regiments in the Civil War?"

"No, Bella, I was changed during the war, and then spent the next eighty years fighting in another one, which made Antietam look like a walk in the park." I put my arms around my legs and curled up.

"Do you … want to tell me about it?" Bella's soft voice.

I tensed even more and shook my head slightly. "Please don't make me go back there."

The next thing I felt was Bella carefully leaning down and kissing the scars on my back. "You have been in so much pain", she said, wrapping her arms around me and kissing my neck. I stretched in appreciation, and she continued with my face. When she went on with my front I swallowed, trying to stay in control and loosing it.

"Bella", I started but she shushed me and kissed my lips tenderly. That was it. I reacted and let instinct rule me trying to get as close to her as I could.

I heard her draw a sharp breath and sensed apprehension at the same time and cursed. "Damn it, Bella, we have to stop this. We're… you are not really ready for this." I sat up and put my shirt back on, trying to calm down.

"Did I do anything wrong?" Apprehension was replaced by confusion and fear of rejection.

I traced her cheek with my fingers. "Not at all, but we must not push it."

"I don't understand."

"Do you have any idea what you were doing to me?" She shook her head biting her lower lip. I smiled. "No, you don't. Please, it's not that I don't want you, just the opposite, but I'd rather both of us knew what we were doing." I looked for agreement in her face. She blushed, and I knew I had been right. "You've never …?" She nodded, blushing deeper. I kissed her carefully. "Don't worry about it, you'll be just fine, but don't let me push you into anything, ok?"

She smiled. "I love you, Jasper."

I swallowed. "I won't let you go, darlin'." I held open my arms and she curled herself into them until it was time to get ready for dinner with her dad.

I more or less skipped home – the happiest vampire not alive.

_**A/N:**__** I'm told this chapter is kitschy… but my daughter says she would still read it. I think men can be kitschy too. ha!**_


	16. Chapter 16

_**I still don't own Twilight (even after**__** spending hours and hours bidding on ebay). Before I forget again: It's absolutely awesome to read the list of countries you guys are from, to name just a few of the more exotic ones: Northern Marian Islands, Nigeria (had some friends from there once) and Antigua (lovely memories from my honeymoon). Writing for you is wonderful!**_

CH 16

_**Bella's diary**_

I would never have thought it could feel like this to be in love. Would it be the same if Jasper was just a normal guy? Well, I won't know. Just thinking about him and the way he is with me makes me all dizzy and warm. I hope that Rosalie's idea is good, because I can't stand to be away from him for a long time.

When we got back from the diner, Carlisle's car was parked outside, and he asked if he could talk to Charlie for a minute. Of course we invited him inside and I made some coffee for them (found the poor ragged pot plant next to the sofa smelling of coffee later. ) and told them I'd go to my room, which of course I didn't. I sat on top of the stairs listening. I knew Carlisle would know about me, but I thought he wouldn't mind.

"Well, what can I do for you, Dr Cullen?" Charlie started jovially.

"I'm here on behalf of my son", Carlisle said. Charlie must have frowned, because he added at once. "Edward. Edward's and Bella's Biology teacher is offering them an opportunity to go to a lab in Seattle to see some professional research firsthand. It would be a great experience for them, I'm sure, and I'd be obliged if you gave your consent for them to go together on Thursday."

I hear Charlie shift his weight, the way he does when he's thinking. "How would they get to Seattle?"

"Edward would drive there in his car. He is a very safe driver."

Charlie made a grunting sound – he was still thinking if he should give his approval.

"It would be a once in a lifetime opportunity", Carlisle coaxed. "And Edward told me Bella was in an AP course in Phoenix and was disappointed not to find one here. It might also be a way to start connections to the University here…"

"Alright, if you're sure they'll come back in one piece", Charlie said good-naturedly. I know he would never deny me a good chance at anything. "Now, that other boy of yours…"

Ah, this was getting interesting. "Jasper, yes. He is my wife's nephew. He and his sister lost their parents quite early, in a hold-up."

"Ah?" Charlie was curios.

"Yes, quite tragic all that was, and it's amazing they turned out so well after all that. The little boy was there when it happened and had to watch the whole thing. He has become a bit … overprotective, can't stand to see anyone attacked, and with being on a first date with Bella, he snapped when that boy from the reservation taunted him on their rendezvous."

"Well, he beat him up quite bad", Charlie said in a doubting voice.

"He was devastated by what happened, and he has been very miserable about not meeting his girlfriend again. He would never hurt Bella; I can assure you of that. I would trust him with my life."

"You want me to put the poor guy out of his misery and not stand in the way of young love, right?"

"It would make him very happy, and as far as I've heard, she likes him too. Besides, my wife would like to see her again, she's quite taken with her, as is everyone in the family."

"I'll think about it", Charlie said gruffly. He saw Carlisle to the door and put the coffee cups in the kitchen.

I went to my room, correctly guessing that he'd be coming upstairs soon.

"Bells? You still up?" I heard him two minutes later.

"Yes. Did Carlisle tell you about Seattle?"

"That too. I said you could go with Edward, but make sure he doesn't speed like his brother."

"That's easy, I tell him I get carsick", I smiled and Charlie chuckled.

"You like the whole family, don't you?" He asked.

"Yes, I think they're really nice and fun to be with. And Jasper is very important to me. You just met him on a bad day." I looked at my father pleadingly.

"Did that Quileute boy really start it on Sunday?"

I realised what had been Carlisle's plan and chipped in at once. "Absolutely, he was really aggressive, and Jasper thought he would hurt me – Paul has trouble with anger management. Jasper was just defending me."

Charlie sighed. "Oh, alright. If you promise not to get into that kind of trouble again, you can see him and his family. Introduce him to me properly sometime, will you?"

I threw my arms around my dad and hugged him. "Thanks, dad, that's great. I'll call him about it right now, ok?"

He laughed. "Don't stay up too late, school tomorrow. Good night, Bells."

"Night!" I dialled Jasper's number and smiled when I heard a faint ringing sound through my opened window.

"Bella, I heard. Isn't that wonderful, darlin'?"

"Yes, this way I don't have to lie to him. I don't like that. He loves me so much…"

"I can well understand that", Jasper drawled nearby. He was sitting on my windowsill looking very handsome. "I thought I could maybe collect a goodnight kiss personally."

I shook my head at him and fulfilled his wish. He left right after, saying I needed to sleep, which was right. I better do that now, before I drop asleep over the diary. Ah – everything's fine again!

_**Jasper's POV**_

I went back to the house as soon as I saw Bella was asleep. Carlisle had made good on his promise, and again I found that staying with the Cullens had been the right decision: I felt loved, and now I had Bella. I almost floated through the forest, deep in thought.

That must have been the reason why I did not catch on to the scent of another vampire nearby until I was through the door. I tensed at once and only relaxed partially when Carlisle called: "It's ok, Jasper, we've got a visitor."

Surprised I went upstairs to the living room, where the rest of the family was gathered. With them was another vampire, human-drinker by the colour of his eyes. He had shiny black hair and a pale, olive coloured skin. And he had his arm around Alice.

I blinked.

"This is Jasper, my former mate, this is Laurent whom I met in New York," Alice introduced us to one another.

I nodded, still tense. Carlisle and Esme nodded to me, smiling approval. I could sense unease from Emmett and Rosalie. Edward gave off undisguised panic.

"Laurent has decided to join our lifestyle", Carlisle explained to me. "He weaned himself before he came here, and now would like to stay."

_What's wrong?_I thought looking at Edward. He mouthed back 'Bella', and I nodded.

"Carlisle, could I speak to you for a moment?" I said, and we left the house.

"You're worried what this will mean for you and Bella?" Carlisle asked at once.

"Yes."

"Jasper, I think we should give him a chance, like we did you."

I swallowed and said: "Thank you for tonight."

"You're welcome. He's quite old, almost three hundred, he should know what he's doing, and Alice is quite attracted to him."

"She wants to make him her next project", I said before I could stop myself.

Carlisle smiled. "Maybe, but who are you to deny her that? Look what it brought you!"

I sighed. "You're right. What about Edward and I go out hunting with him?"

My father shook his head. "You want to sound him out? Feel free, Esme already had the same idea. But be warned, I'm pretty sure Alice has filled him in on us quite thoroughly – he brought a book on interior design for Esme."

I threw up my hands, joining his laughter. "OK, ok, but it can't do any harm."

We went back inside and announced the upcoming hunting-party. As Alice had no objections, we set out at once. Laurent proved to be quite adept at hunting animals – he said he remembered it from his human days in Cajun Louisiana even though they were far back in the past, and he was easy to get along with. I could only sense interest and goodwill from him, and when I asked Edward in thought, he nodded his head too.

"Have you already thought up a legend?" I asked him on the way back. Obviously he would need some kind of cover-story if he wanted to stay.

"Alice thought I could pass as some kind of exchange student, so could go to school with you and she could have an eye on me. I'm a bit nervous about that, so close to beating hearts and… I didn't really go to school back then."

At least he was honest. "Maybe you should take some time for home-studying before you enter modern high-school", I told him.

He nodded nervously, then took a deep breath. "I think if you help me, and Alice is near I should be alright." He flinched and gave me an embarrassed look.

I shook my head. "It's alright, we're not together anymore. I don't think we were meant to be. In love with the pixie?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "She wouldn't be with me unless I tried the animal diet, so I will."

"Good for you", I said and felt sorry for him. I hope he will find happiness with her. At least she should be alright with Bella now. I was determined to be careful though.

_**yes, you're right if you sense a thickening of the plot around the corner…**_

_**Don't forget to leave reviews!**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**Still don't own Twilight! **_

_**There might be a hiatus in this story from now on, as I'll be away for some weeks (check profile). I'll keep writing, and will update one I've returned. **_

CH 17

_**Jasper's POV**_

I have lost her. I feel as if something is squeezing my neck shut, as if I'm about to die again. I can still feel her in my arms and now she's no longer there for me. Should I leave here? I'm sure I cannot bear to stay and watch my angel and not have her.

How all this came about is something I still don't understand.

Just yesterday everything was alright. Better than that actually. After Charlie lifter her curfew, Bella had come over after school to do some last-minute planning for the Seattle trip but also to be with me until it was time for her to get her father's dinner ready. We had decided not to meet after – she had to do some homework and they would start really early the next morning, because Charlie didn't want them going too fast – but while she was here, everything was fine. We spent the time in my room, and ended up cuddling and listening to music. Then I drove her truck home and ran back

Laurent was thirsty again, and Emmett and I decided to take him to Mt Rainier the next day for some carnivores – they last longer. Alice came along, and even though I had to suffer the idea that Bella was spending the day in close proximity to Edward, we had fun. I already knew from Edward that Laurent had belonged to a coven that was held together merely by spite and terror of the leader, and he really enjoyed the relaxed atmosphere of the Cullen clan. When I was about to rush the whole outfit back to be able to see Bella sooner, Alice shook her head: "There was an accident on the highway, and it's closed. So Edward has taken Bella to a restaurant first. He's hoping that the road will be clear afterwards, which it will. No need to hurry."

I felt uneasy at once: this school trip was turning far too private for my jealous taste. Bella had noticed how I felt about it, and had assured me that for her Edward was just a good friend, but still…

When I came into my room at one thirty I saw it at once: The bracelet I had given her was lying on my desk together with a note.

'She said I should give this back to you. Sorry, E.'

Panic closing up my throat I flew up three flights to Edward's room, but he wasn't in. No patience for stairs again, I left out his window and went to the Swan house. Bella's window was closed and barred, the curtain drawn. Trying to calm down without any success, I broke in and scaled the stairs to her room. I braced myself outside her bedroom door and listened. I could hear her breath, regular: She was asleep. Then I felt it: Edward was there, and I could sense his feelings, he was very happy and extremely relaxed. Pictures of him in Bella's bed flashed through my mind, and I had to fight hard not to go in and rip him to pieces. I left quickly and ran into the forest until I was far away from any human abode. Then I screamed out my pain, hoping it would get me some release, but it didn't. I raged through the forest, seeking an outlet for my frustration. I didn't dare to go back to the house yet, knowing that while the pain was so raw I would be projecting all over the place, and the last thing I wanted was having to talk about it right now.

As soon as it was morning and I could be sure Bella was up, my fingers dialled her number, my throat dry with apprehension.

She picked up on the third ring. "Jasper?"

"Yes, I…"

"I don't want to see you anymore. Please don't call me again." She hung up.

So I had been right. I checked the time again and figured out my coordinates. I could just make it. Blind rage made me faster and having fed gave me confidence I could do it. Like a blur I streaked to the school parking lot, right on time. I could see that the others had come in Rosalie's car, and Edward was just pulling into Bella's usual space. Edward had gotten out and was about to open Bella's door for her, taking her bag. Before I was quite at the car, I felt strong arms trying to pull me back. I snarled and pulled free, pushing forward. When he saw me he took up a stance in front of her. Emmett was still trying to restrain me, but I was too far gone with rage to comply. Only when I heard Bella's frightened voice calling my name, I stopped; my anger deflated and was replaced by remorse and shame for scaring her. Other students had taken notice of our little rumble now too, and the girls were already trying for distraction, spreading rumours of lost bets etc.

"Bella? I need to talk to you", I whispered.

She shook her head. "No, I meant what I said. I don't want to be alone with you." She was choking back tears, but I still pushed on. "Please!" Now tears were falling freely from her eyes, and Edward put his arm around her shoulder and pushed by me, glaring at me. "I'll get you away from people, don't worry", he told her quietly.

"No!" Emmett said, taking hold of me again. "Whatever he did, if you go after him now, you'll ruin everything."

"Can you tell me why you would come running here wanting to kill our brother?" Rosalie asked in a small voice. I realised that I must have been quite frightening for my siblings too, which added to my sadness and embarrassment. "He slept with her last night", I told them so quietly that none of the onlookers could hear. Waves of sympathy came at me at once, and Rosalie hugged me for comfort. Alice and Laurent joined in, and made a plan how they could cover for me having arrived without my bag. Skiving was not an option – I had missed enough days already. The rest of the day passed in a blur. I was in my own world, trying to come to grip with the fact that Bella was not mine anymore.

_**Bella's diary**_

It's all lost. I am still trying to understand how all this came about, so I'm going to write it down step by step in order to get some grip on my feelings again.

Edward picked me up early in the morning to go to Seattle. I had made a lunch bag for me so I could breakfast in the car – hoping to slow him down a little by threatening car-sickness and spilt coffee. It worked.

We got to Seattle in time on a beautiful day, and the lab was very interesting – Edward asked all the right questions I forgot to ask, and by the time we were finished, we had exchanged emails and all that. I think I might have a chance of getting in there, if I'm still interested in anything after this disaster.

We started out on the way back when we heard the traffic report: the road back was closed, closure was expected to last at least two hours. Edward turned and set his sat-nav for the next good restaurant.

"You haven't eaten since breakfast, Bella, and this is the most profitable way we can spend the time."

As my stomach had been making protesting noises for a while I wasn't about to protest, until I saw the kind of posh Italian he had chosen. "Edward, I don't…"

"What do you take me for? You're invited. I'll just call home so your father doesn't get worried." He matched action to word and then got us a nice table in the restaurant.

To the distress of the waitress he only ordered drinks for himself (which he then pushed to me) and handed me the menu. I found something right away: I was hungry and the food sounded delicious. Edward had fun watching me eat – somehow they seem to like that, and we had a good time.

"Thanks", I said when he talked me into ordering desert – not much coaxing needed. "You're a good friend, you know that?"

He smiled that enigmatic smile and said. "Yes, Alice saw that coming on your first day, she said it would work."

"Come again?" He had lost me.

"Oh", he looked slightly confused. "I thought Jasper had told you. Some of us have… extra abilities. Alice can see the future. She foretold you and I would become friends."

I grinned. "Aha? Did she also foresee Jasper and me?"

He said. "That was not the likeliest outcome of Jasper's reaction to you." He checked my face to see if I understood. "You know Jasper is very attracted to your blood?"

I nodded. "He sees bits of his human past when he's with me. I think that's good for him."

"Mm", Edward mumbled not convinced.

"Can you do anything special?"

"Yes", he said, and when I raised my eyebrows he added: "I can hear people's thoughts…"

"Oh no", I flushed. "Why didn't you tell me earlier? How could you let me think all sorts of things near you?"

He shook his head. "Let me finish. I can hear everyone's thoughts, apart from yours. That's very… distracting, but also quite nice. People don't really have interesting thoughts all the time."

"Phew!" I breathed out. My goodness, what he would have been able to hear from me… Then a thought came to me. "That must be very uncomfortable in your family, if you can listen in to everyone…"

"It is, believe me. I try to tune out most of the time, an agreement to give everyone some privacy, but sometimes people …are shouting their thoughts at you."

I had the impression he wasn't too comfortable with the subject and asked something I'd been wanting to ask: "Edward, can you tell me what is so upsetting Jasper about his past?"

He squirmed. "I'm not sure you want…"

"We're together, and something is hurting him. If I don't know what it is, I can't help him."

He sighed and started telling me how Jasper was turned by Maria, and then used to train and command her army in the vampire wars of the South, which were fought about territory and prey. And how Maria used him to get rid of the newborns once they had done their duty.

"How could he do that?" I could not imagine my sweet lover a killer.

"That was where his gift came in useful. Bella, I tried to tell you to …stay away from him. I can see what he wants with you…"

"Too late", I smiled. "I love Jasper, he makes me feel like no one before. You said he had a gift to? What is it?"

"That is exactly my point: He can make you feel anything."

"I don't understand." I sensed a cold feeling creeping up my legs, like evil fog spreading tendrils in a bad horror movie.

"He is an empath", Edward explained patiently. "He can feel what people feel and use that, and he can project feelings. That's why he was so useful in the wars: he would project confidence to his people and horror to the enemy. He would also be able to get close to the newborns to kill them after they were no longer useful, they would trust him."

I swallowed hard, remembering the Sunday when my car had broken down: I had trusted him completely, had let myself be taken out to the forest where he had wanted to kill me. Flashes of other sudden emotional changes also came up before my mind's eye, and I shivered involuntarily.

Edward looked distraught. "I didn't want to scare you Bella, but…", he stopped, taking a deep breath. "Bella, I know he is my brother, but I see in his thoughts what he wants to do with you, and I think it's wrong."

"Why?" I asked, knowing the answer already. Jake had more or less told me.

"He is obsessed with you. He is thinking of …"

"He loves me", I said in a small voice. "Or did he act that?" Evil little whispers were starting in my brain about Jasper's need to be near me physically, and with what I now knew, I wasn't sure if I had really been that eager myself – it was not like me after all.

"I don't think that, but he's… having… sensual thoughts." He had told me that he had been raised in a very strict family, apparently it had also been quite uptight. He continued. "Bella, I would never ask you to give up your human life or risk hurting you by forcing myself on you. I don't think any of us should do that to another living being."

Suddenly I realised that silent tears had started running down my cheeks, and Edward got me out of my embarrassment by paying quickly and getting us on the road.

Once we were in the car, he turned to me. "Bella, I don't mean to hurt you. I want to be your friend, and I was getting worried. I thought you knew about the mind-control thing, or I wouldn't…" He stopped and started again. "No, that's not right. I would have. I don't want you to get hurt." He handed me a Kleenex, and was as embarrassed as any man is in the presence of a crying girl. I cried all the way back, sometimes furious about having been manipulated in this way, sometimes inconsolably sad about having lost what I thought was my love for Jasper, but by the time we reached Forks, I had made up my mind. When Edward stopped the car at my house, I took off the bracelet and gave it to him to hand back to Jasper. "I don't want to see him again, I don't trust him alone."

"You want me to make sure he doesn't get you alone?" Edward asked. When I nodded he said he'd pick me up for school the next day.

Luckily Charlie was out. There was a message on the answering machine that an incident made it necessary for him to work late. Good. I wouldn't have known how to face him. By now my eyes had almost run out of tears, and after a quick shower I decided to try to make sense by writing it down.

No success.

My beautiful tender vampire a manipulative trickster? Someone in heaven didn't like me. I had been too good to be true, I had to admit to myself. I had never even been noticed by the boys in Phoenix, why should this angelic man fall for me, unless he had some ulterior motive? Why did it hurt so much if it hadn't been true?


	18. Chapter 18

_**A/N:**__** OK, so this is the last chapter before the break. Most of you can probably think of what might be behind the ending… Check if you were right once I'm back!**_

_**Ah, and I still don't own Twilight.**_

CH 18

_**Bella's diary**_

It still hurts like hell. I thought that I had done all my crying yesterday, but this morning I woke and Jasper's scent – fresh and a bit spicy – was in my nose, and I started all over again. To top it all, I think I'm getting a cold, no wonder: the damn window was open again. Yet I'm sure I had closed it last night. It must have been the tablet I sneaked out of Charlie's medicine cupboard to be able to sleep that had me confused. Or there is something wrong with this window-frame.

Jasper called when I was getting up. I dithered whether to take the call, but decided to be direct and told him I didn't want to see him anymore. I couldn't bear his voice and hung up when he started saying something. I was sure I would have changed my mind had I listened for a minute longer.

Anyway, school was hell. Edward picked me up like he had promised, and when we arrived at the parking lot, I thought my life was over. 6'3" of angry vampire were flying at me from God knows where when Jasper appeared, looking like the angel of death. This impression made me doubt that he had needed to instil fear in his enemies during the wars. Luckily Edward got in between just in time, and Emmett was also there, though he didn't have too much luck restraining his rabid brother. Jasper changed back into my gentle vampire as suddenly as a chameleon, and begged for me to talk to him, but I was frightened out of my mind. Edward got me inside somehow and sheparded me from one lesson to the next, though Jasper was nowhere to be seen. After school he brought me home, and, when he saw Charlie's cruiser was there, left.

Fat lot of good that did. I met Charlie in the kitchen, leaning against the counter munching on a sandwich like a starving man.

"Hi dad," I said, acting as if nothing had happened.

"Hi, Bells, he answered, and hugged me briefly before putting on his gun belt again. I blinked. He was not into the whole hugging thing usually, and I wondered what had brought this on. Had he noticed something in my face? "Everything alright?" I asked. Then I saw it: He looked dead on his feet. "Charlie? What happened?"

He sighed. "There has been an accident. Some hiking family got mauled by an animal."

"An animal? A whole family?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "These hikers will keep their provisions with them in the tent; it's happened before, near Olympia, but it seems a particularly vicious bear is moving our way. Could you please be careful and not walk in the woods alone?"

"Of course. Were you up all night?"

"Yep – lots of paperwork, apart from the investigation, and Dr Cullen examined the bodies. He ought to be quite tired himself by now, thought he went away as fast as a young sprinter – far too much energy. Right, Bells, I've got to go back and check something, but I think I'll be here for dinner. If I'm not, don't wait for me."

I frowned after him: A bear attacking several people without anyone able to escape sounded strange to me, as did what he had said about an investigation going on. I took a stew from the freezer and nuked it – if he wasn't back in time he could simply warm it over – and prepared a salad. When I took out the garbage I made sure to close the trash-cans properly so as not to attract any bears myself. I also locked the door behind me, still frightened of the monsters closer to home.

Homework was easy, and now I'm just waiting for Charlie to come home, so… Wait! What's that? The cruiser just pulled in followed by a red convertible with Rosalie. Now what?

Several hours later.

You won't believe it! There was something wrong with the cruiser on the way back, and Rosalie fixed it so that Charlie could come home in time. He then invited her in, absolutely chuffed with a girl who could deal with motors. Rosalie said she wanted to talk to me anyway, so she came upstairs to my room.

I was all set to tell her to mind her own business (guessing that Jasper had manipulated her into coming), when she froze just inside the door. I wondered what had made her stop in her tracks, when I followed her eyes: They were fixed on the shelf, where I keep all the books I used to read when I was here on holiday, years ago.

"Rosalie? Are you ok?" I asked when I noticed her face looked sad suddenly.

She started. "What? Oh, yes, sorry, I was just so taken back by…" She went to the shelf as if drawn by a magnet. "Would you mind if I took a look at these?"

"Not at all, feel free." I was curios now.

Rosalie took up the Little Women books and leaved through them, looking as if she was crying.

"Are you sure you're alright? You look really sad."

"No, I haven't seen these in a long time. I used to love them when I was little, read them over and over again, Anne of Green Gables, too."

"One shelf down", I smiled, and Rosalie went for them like I would for chocolate.

"There seem to be more than I remember", she frowned.

"She wrote some later, in the late thirties", I said. "I had to get them all, I was so hooked."

"Oh, then I wouldn't have known them at all, I was changed in 1933", Rosalie's eyes were shining. "Do you… Could I borrow them?"

"Of course you can. Do you want to take the whole series? It makes more sense that way." At least if you're a slightly OCD reader like me, I added silently.

She looked as if Christmas had come early. "I could? Wonderful!"

"Which one did you like best?" I asked, still amazed at her, and soon we were deep into the World of Avonlea. Rosalie likes to read as much as me, only, she says the others don't notice, because she prefers the girly stuff, not the serious books Edward and Carlisle are into, or the history books that… She stopped.

"You're here for Jasper", I said flatly.

She took a breath. "No, not really. Bella, I think you have boyfriend trouble, and what you need is a best friend. Only with the nature of the boyfriends… some girl from school would not be a good idea."

I grimaced. "I noticed." I wasn't sure where this was going.

"I thought, as you already know about all of us, and I need a friend too…" She looked a bit sheepish and blurted. "Alice is great, but I can't talk about … books with her for example, and she's freshly in love, and Esme really is more like a mother to me…And you're involved with us anyway…"

I chuckled and threw up my hands. "Ok, ok, I surrender. Besides, it's not as if there is a long line of girls outside, and the only one I really like, Angela, is freshly in love as well", I made a face and said "Ben. Don't get me wrong, he's probably great for her, but we were not close enough to begin with, and…" I drew a deep breath. "What I'm saying is: yes, I'd like that, if you don't mind being with a klutzy human."

Rosalie's smile could have lit whole streets in New York City. "Wonderful!" She flopped on my bed and looked very beautiful and very relaxed.

Suddenly I remembered something. "Eh, why did you say boyfriends, plural. As of yesterday, I'm boyfriend-less."

Now she was surprised. "But I thought you were with Edward! He brought you to school, and you broke up with Jazz after spending a whole day with him."

"Edward is a good friend, but he doesn't want to be more. He told me so quite explicitly."

"That is odd", she blurted out, then gulped and covered her mouth with her hand, like a little child that has betrayed a secret.

"What is?"

"Well, basically, Edward and Jasper have been circling each other like competing lions more or less since you've been here, and somehow Jasper got the impression that you – eh – had been sleeping with Edward last night. That's why he went for him like that this morning."

I was confused. "He was attacking his brother? But where would he get that kind of silly idea." I could see though why that would make him mad. Something nagged at the back of my mind, but I couldn't quite pinpoint it. "Are you sure he was telling the truth?"

"Of course. Jasper is absolutely honest, always has been, well apart from official forms and such."

I snorted. "Truthful? Tricking me into falling in love with him? Playing with my feelings like that?" All my anger poured out. Rosalie was right, I dearly needed a BFF, even if it was just to vent.

She listened attentively until I had finished and then shook her head. "Bella, something is wrong with this picture. I can believe he tried to eliminate you after the accident, and that he would use his gift to do that, but he told you about it himself, didn't he?"

I nodded.

"And if he was just out for sex, believe me, he could seduce you without manipulation, but you tell me he has actually been going very slowly."

"Slow?" I said raising my eyebrows.

"OK, for the times we live in", she conceded.

"And he kept ending it when it got… too hot", I blushed, nodding.

"Bella, what you describe is not like Jasper."

"Why would Edward give me the impression then?"

She shrugged and smiled.

"But he said expressly that he doesn't want… besides, he always keeps a distance."

"I don't always understand Edward. No, wrong: most of the time I don't understand him, and I've known him for eighty years now, but I think it would be a big mistake not to talk to Jasper again."

"He scared me this morning", I said in a small voice.

"He scared everyone this morning, believe me, but he is really hurt, and I think he deserves another chance."

I rubbed my nose and made a decision. I couldn't really get any more miserable, no matter what happened. "Alright, I'm coming."

"Whoopee!" Rosalie said and carried her armful of books down the stairs. "Chief Swan? Can I kidnap Bella for an hour? I need a second opinion on a dress I bought."

Charlie blinked at that. "If you're sure. But not too late, Bells."

"No, don't worry", I called, hoping Charlie didn't see my face with the barely suppressed grin. Me and giving an opinion on a dress.

"I'll bring her back at ten", Rosalie said and whisked me outside.

"Jasper!" Rosalie called when we were entering the house. She had barely finished when I felt myself enveloped by cold arms. "Bella, I have no idea what I've done, just please give me another chance!"

I was about to tell him that we needed to talk in private when the front door opened again and the other men came in.

Edward saw me in Jasper's arms and went for him at once. "You selfish bastard! How could you bring her back here with what's hanging over us?"

"Please come upstairs first, so we talk about it in peace", Esme said from the top of the stairs. "Did you find them?"

"Yes", Carlisle answered evenly, but I could see desperation in his face. "They're here – close."

"Let's make a plan then", Emmett said. "Jasper, come on up, you're needed!"

_**Make me smile: Leave me some reviews!**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**AN**__**: OK, as you see, I'm back. I have not been idle either while I was gone, the next few chapters are written, but they need to be typed as well, so be patient. Thanks for the good wishes.**_

_**Of course, none of the characters belong to me.**_

Ch 19

Bella's Diary

I wasn't sure what to do now Clearly they needed to have some sort of family talk, but I wasn't sure where that left me.

I tried to disentangle myself from Jasper's arms without success. "I'll drive you home later", he mumbled into my hair.

"You can't do that", Edward told him in an exasperated voice, much like a teacher with a slow student.

"Why the hell not?" Jasper looked up irritated.

I offered to call a taxi, but Carlisle said. "No, I'm afraid it would be better if you came upstairs too, Bella. I'm sorry, but you're already involved in the whole thing."

I checked Jasper's face and he shrugged. "I wasn't here last night, and I was too distracted to take anything in since coming back from school."

Everyone sat at the big dining table – so that's what they use it for – and Jasper held my hand while Edward continued to glare at him. Rosalie is right, there is something going on between the two of them, and it is about me.

However, what I was about to hear quickly diverted my attention from boyfriend issues, and I'm still shuddering to think about it.

Jasper's POV

At first I thought I must be hallucinating when Bella's scent hit me. Then my mood dropped when I thought Edward had brought her home with him – just the kind of gloating thing he was capable of. However, it was Rosalie who called out my name, and I realised that she must have gone and talked Bella round to see me. I don't know how to thank her!

Everything was just fine, I had my angel in my arms – she didn't smell of Edward at all – when lots of emotions hit me shortly before Carlisle, Emmett and Edward came in. Something must have happened late last night, which nobody told me about so far.

Carlisle convened a meeting at once and insisted Bella stayed – that did not put my mind at ease.

Once we were all settled, Carlisle addressed Laurent. "Could you tell the others what Alice and you told me this morning?"

Laurent started talking in that hesitant Cajun-tinted voice while I tried to gauge Alice's emotions: regret, panic, bad conscience, fear. Ah, so there was something she had not told us about her involvement with Laurent, great.

I listened in silence whole Laurent told us about the coven he had been part of for almost 70 years now when he had joined James and Victoria. "James is a tracker", he said, "it makes the hunt more interesting", he flinched, but Carlisle nodded kindly and waved his hand for him to continue. "Well, when I met Alice and decided to join you, they forced me to tell them something about your clan. He wasn't happy I was leaving, I think he enjoyed being leader of a coven."

My insides tingled: there was far too much of Maria in his description of James.

"There is one thing you have to know about James", Laurent continued. "He is fascinated by vampires who like humans, and I fear he thought that your vegetarian lifestyle would make you interesting for him."

"Does he know how many we are?" I asked Alice directly. She flinched and nodded.

I then described the nomads I had observed near Olympia, and Laurent nodded. "Yes, that's James and Victoria. I left stealthily and I've been hiding out to go through withdrawal, but I think he tracked me and found out that you must be in Washington State."

"What does he want?" Emmett asked.

"I'm not sure. You can never be sure about anything with James. Maybe he is just curios, maybe he wants me back. Or maybe he wants to destroy your family." He looked unhappy.

"What happened last night?" I asked, sensing that I still did not have all the parts of the puzzle.

Carlisle sighed. "They killed a family of four who were hiking near Forks and left their bodies to be found. I examined them last night and for now it's a particularly vicious Grizzly they're looking for, but if they continue like that…"

"They did the same near Olympia", Bella said in a toneless voice. "My dad told me."

"They are challenging us", I said. "They want us out in the open, and suppose that if they keep killing humans indiscriminately, we will react, even if only to keep the Volturi away."

Bella looked clueless and Edward filled her in on the Volturi and their role of policing in the vampire world.

"What should we do about the challenge?" Emmett asked. "I mean, if they want us out, what do they want to do with us?"

"James isn't yet sure about that", Edward said. "I read his mind as soon as we were close enough." So apparently they had been out reconnoitring before they came back.

"That could be one interpretation", I contradicted. "He could also be aware of our gifts, so not making a decision…"

"… would leave him out of my scope", Alice finished in a small voice. "I'm so sorry. Should we leave, Laurent and I?"

"I'm not sure what good that would do", Laurent said sceptically. "If James is interested in human-loving vampires, he might stay and wreak havoc here."

"Ok", Carlisle said. "So in effect you're saying we have to go to him and find out what he wants?"

Laurent shrugged, looking contrite.

"We could simply confront them and see if that gets them to leave", Emmett turned to me, looking for agreement.

I was just about to nod when Edward said. "No, you can't, that is my point. Don't you think he'll smell Bella on you?"

Damn. I took in the implications of his statement. "So as soon as he gets to town, he knows we're involved with a human. He'll smell us at Bella's place too."

"Are you saying he could be attacking Charlie?" Bella asked in a scared voice. My angel – thinking of her dad when clearly she herself would be the far more likely target.

"I'm saying that unless we confront him and possibly destroy him, there is no guarantee for anybody's life in Forks."

"Don't you think you could talk him into leaving us alone?" Esme asked, clearly not happy about the prospect I had just outlined.

"If he's crossed the continent in search of us, no. I'm afraid we have to talk to them, but be prepared for action." Bella's eyes looked up to me, round with fear. I squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"I can see you have a point, Jasper", Carlisle said. "But I'd like to try the talking first. Laurent, is there any way you could reach James?"

"I could try if he still answers his phone."

"Good, then tell him to meet us near the Highway 5 entry to Mt Rainier Park."

"Wait", Rosalie said. "What about Bella?"

"That's what I meant", Edward said. "You can't bring her home. If that tracker finds vampire and human scent mixed without blood involved she's fair game."

Alice threw me a look pleading for forgiveness. I shook my head to her. "When do you have to be back?" I asked Bella.

"Rosalie said she'd get me back by ten, that is in half an hour." She checked her watch. "Should I get a taxi?"

"That's no use. Call your dad and say you're on a sleepover with Rosalie." When I saw Edward's disapproving glare I fixed my eyes on him and thought: _That ship has sailed since you've been spending nights in her room._

He turned in a huff, and Esme called Charlie to invite Bella for the weekend. As usual her charm prevailed – no objection.

Carlisle took charge. "Good, Laurent, tell James to meet us in two hours. I think Alice should stay here to be able to warn the others if something goes wrong. Emmett, I'd like you to stay too for that eventuality. Jasper, Edward, ready?"

Edward nodded, and I asked for five minutes to shower in order to get Bella's scent off my person. I understood that Carlisle wanted to take me along as a deterrent but I was fine with that role. I wanted these monsters as far away from Bella as possible. For once Edward and I were in agreement.


	20. Chapter 20

Ch 20

Jasper's POV

After a shower we set out to meet Laurent's former coven. I had to concentrate hard because the fear Bella projected had upset me at the same time that it made me very happy. I had promised to be back and she had said she would wait up for me – something my mother used to say to my father when he went out for an evening. It had been hard not to touch her or kiss her goodbye, but that would not have been helpful at all.

We arrived at the meeting place just in time, and though both Edward and I could tell the nomads were already there, hiding out, we took up the challenge and went to the middle of the road confidently. The moon was out and in accordance with Carlisle's wishes I had come shirtless.

They kept us waiting for five minutes before they approached us cautiously: a man with dirty blonde hair and a catlike woman with a long red mane of curls down her back who looked somewhat familiar though I couldn't place her. They introduced themselves.

Carlisle did the same for us and came to the point right away. "Your hunting activities are causing a problem for me and my family."

"Why is that?" James asked in an infuriatingly relaxed tone.

"We're keeping a permanent home here and try to blend in. So we'd be much obliged if you could take your hunting elsewhere."

"You have something of mine", James said.

"Laurent is free to choose where he wants to stay. He has joined my family and is welcome until he wants to leave", Carlisle answered emphasising the name.

"And you really live off animals?" James changed the topic.

"Yes", Edward nodded without elaborating. He was highly concentrated on James's expression.

"The God of War turned harmless vampire. Does Maria know what you have come down to Major?" Victoria started taunting me in a tinkling high-pitched girly voice. Now I remembered her. Before Peter she had been the only newborn that ever managed to escape me – she must have an uncanny talent for getting away.

"I would not advise her to come close enough to enquire", I said coolly, making clear that while I no longer killed humans I had no such compunctions about other vampires.

Carlisle nodded appreciating. "So, can you make sure you're gone from the vicinity by morning?"

"Why should we?" Victoria said languidly, a pout on her pretty face.

"I'll think about it", James said mockingly, then, when I growled, he reached out to pull Victoria in his arm and left with her fast.

Carlisle looked at us but we both shrugged and signalled 'later'.

We made our way back to the house looking over our backs and found that Esme had already closed up the emergency windows, too.

When we came in, not only Esme, but also Bella came flying into Carlisle's and my arms, and though I sensed some rage from Edward I was truly happy for a few minutes. Then we took up our places at the table again.

"Edward?" Carlisle gave him the word and Edward sighed. "James is very curios about us, and deep down he would like to be the head of a bigger coven. Joining us is not on his agenda, he is intrigued by Jasper, but for the moment he wants to leave us alone because he thinks he would lose in a fight."

"That fits the signals I got from him",. I agreed. "Don't underestimate this Victoria creature though. She's full of ambition and spite as well as confidence of escaping anything." Laurent nodded to that.

"Alice?" Carlisle asked.

"They're leaving here and go to Vancouver", she said. "Phew! I'm so sorry!"

Laurent nodded and put his arm around her.

I noticed that Bella was about to fall over asleep and picked her up. She put her head against my chest and went to sleep. Emmett chuckled. "Does she need a comforter?"

"No, but sleep. If you no longer need me…"

"Where do you think you're taking her?" Edward hissed at me when I turned toward the stairs.

"To my room", I said evenly, thinking: …and in contrast to you I won't be creepily staying without her knowledge. I had realised that that must have been what he was doing the night before.

He looked as if he was about to argue when Carlisle put his hand on his shoulder.

I carried my precious cargo down the stairs and put her down on my bed quickly. Her face and hands on my bare skin were wreaking havoc with my control, not that I would ever have admitted that to Edward. I covered her and then lay down on the quilt with her, hoping against hope that the danger as past.

True, James was not about to attack us – yet. I was not ready to believe in his speedy retreat after the cross-continent tracking of Laurent led him to what was probably the biggest coven of vampires in America. Neither was I 100% sure that Laurent and Alice had come out with the whole truth yet.

On the other hand, attacking a coven of eight with just the two of them would have been suicide – not like James had felt to me. I was going to watch out for any signs of them recruiting help. Victoria had gone through Maria's school after all.


	21. Chapter 21

_**A/N:**__** Thanks for the feedback so far. As far as the nomads are concerned, I'm afraid I'll be keeping you guessing for a little while longer, there are some other loose ends after all…**_

_**Have fun!**_

Ch 21

Bella's diary

We have gone back to the house to get a few things for me, so mow I have my diary, too.

I woke up this morning and Jasper was with me, lying next to me on the cover of his bed – he must have brought me down here last night – looking at me with so much love that I could not longer believe I had doubted him.

I reached out to tousle his hair and he purred. He was still shirtless – they don't get cold – and looked like a statue come to life. When he left with Carlisle and Edward last night to confront the monsters who had killed eight people just to get the Cullens' attention, I had been scared almost out of my mind, and I found that I wasn't mad at him anymore, I just wanted him to return to me in one piece.

"You look very sweet when you're asleep", Jasper told me, kissing my nose.

"Mm, in contrast to the tangled bed-head when I wake up." I suspected rightly that my hair looked like a haystack.

Jasper continued kissing and mumbled. "You couldn't look more appetising."

"Hey, I'm not your breakfast!"

"Pity!" He sat up his eyes sparkling. "Should I get you some breakfast?"

I nodded and he pointed me to the nearest bathroom and disappeared to find some food for me.

When I returned to his room he had a tray ready with a strange mixture of things. "It's what I could find. Rosalie wants to go shopping later, so we can give you something better for the weekend."

"Don't worry, it's ok", I said and started on an apple. After I was finished I asked: "Jasper, why didn't you tell me about your gift?"

"Ah, that's the poison Edward has been pouring into your ears. Well, tell me, what would you have done in my place? I want to be with you, Bella, and between the vampire thing and the scars and the withdrawal I simply didn't know how much more freakishness you would be willing to put up with." He looked depressed. "Besides, I didn't really think it mattered."

"Why would you think that? I was scared that you had been manipulating my feelings when I thought I had fallen in love with you."

Jasper frowned. "I would never do that. I want us to be real. You make me feel so good, so… whole. Why would I spoil something pure like that by making you feel anything?"

"But you made me trust you that Sunday…"

"Yes, but I had no idea who you were then. Bella, you can trust me. Do you want me to show you how I feel about you?" He was so serious I was almost scared but I nodded. At once I was flooded by a feeling of complete happiness, love and warmth, caring, by interest and deep desire. I gulped and Jasper stopped. "You would feel it if I projected to you, I think", he said, then leaned forward quickly and kissed away the tears that had started rolling down my cheeks. "Don't cry."

"You're so…happy", I said lamely.

"Why shouldn't I be? The sweetest girl around who just happens to be my soul mate can't be frightened away by me being a vampire with a bad reputation, by my scarred body or my general incompetence. I'm still waiting for you to come to your senses and send me to hell, but for now I'm happy."

"You have no idea about the kind of person you are." I shook my head at him: his self-esteem was right down with mine.

We spent the rest of the morning cuddling until Rosalie knocked and asked if I needed anything from the house.

I caught up on some homework in the afternoon and have been writing my diary to distract myself from the fact that Jasper, Edward and Emmett have gone out to look for the nomads just in case. The thought of anyone hurting Jasper is painful to me, and I hope they return without getting into a fight.

Rosalie was as tense as I am, apparently Emmett can be quite reckless. I asked her how a vampire could be destroyed. Having touched the rock-hard panes of muscle on Jasper's chest I had come to the conclusion that a stake would not make sense. Rosalie nodded and told me that one would have to tear them apart and set the pieces on fire. Yuck!

Then I asked her what I should do about Edward. She sighed and said that basically he would have to come to terms with me and Jasper together, and that unless I had been giving him any signals to make him believe I would come round to him, it was his problem.

Well, I'm reasonably sure that I have done nothing wrong, and he himself keeps saying he only wants to be my friend. Right, but on the other hand he keeps telling me to stay away from Jasper. Maybe I'll try to keep a distance to him instead.

Jasper's POV

We couldn't find any trace of the nomads and their tracks led toward Vancouver as Alice had predicted.

On the way back I took Edward to task for getting in between me and Bella – no success. He stubbornly insisted that my relationship with my singer was too dangerous for Bella and completely irresponsible, while his friendship with her was already bordering on reckless.

"Friendship", I scoffed. "You read my thoughts when I was outside her door on Thursday, and you didn't correct my misunderstanding, brother."

"I have to find a way to make you stay away from her to protect her."

"I can do all the protecting she needs. It's not only about her blood, she makes me feel complete", I tried to argue with him.

"So what are you going to do? Do you want to change her? Yourself? You'll kill her!" An enormous wave of rage was rolling off him.

"What are you asking of me?" I tried again to appeal to his rationality.

In vain: "That you keep your hands off her. I'm not letting you turn that sweet girl into a soulless monster!" He left Emmett and me standing and ran ahead.

"Someone's clearly having a problem with his conception of himself", Emmett drawled, still shaking his head about our exchange. "Don't let him get you down. Bella will make an amazing vampire."

"I haven't talked about it with her yet. It has been such a lot of information for her recently that I…"

Emmett raised an eyebrow. "Ok, yes, I'm scared she'll freak when I ask her. I'm also not completely sure that Carlisle doesn't see eye to eye on this with Edward."

"You need to ask him. Rosie would be over the moon, strangely enough, but she really likes your girl. So do I. What's she like in…?"

I knew exactly what he was asking and shook my head. "We haven't done that… Edward would flip his lid. He already told me off just for thinking about her that way."

"Oh dear", Emmett commiserated.

I shrugged my shoulders. "At least she's staying with us this weekend."

He grinned. "Should I take him out hunting tonight?"

"Good luck!" I was sure Edward would not agree to that.

When we came back Rosalie and Alice had dragged Bella into a girls' night: They were watching "Little Women" on DVD and doing each others' nails.

Halfway through the movie Bella started fussing about having to be back early the next day to get some cooking done. I saw Esme's wistful look at that and suggested using our kitchen.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" Bella asked Esme and then blinked. My adoptive mother's face had lit up in anticipation and she had dashed off only to return with a n armful of cookbooks to talk recipes with Bella enthusiastically.

Carlisle smiled to me at Esme's joy when he joined us with Laurent in tow. The two spent a lot of time together to get the new vegetarian settled.

As soon as I could do no more damage to Alice's artwork on Bella's nails I joined her on the sofa. Feeling her warm body near me has become an addiction, fortunately a reciprocated one: Bella curled up against me like a kitten, driving me up the wall with pent-up desire. The minute the movie was finished I excused us to the snickers from Emmett and good advice from Rosalie and carried her downstairs.

"Would you like to go to sleep?" I asked once I had put her down in my room.

She smiled at me mischievously and shook her head. "Only if you stay close." She pulled me to the bed with her playfully.

I gasped for breath. "Will you tell me at once if you feel uncomfortable with me or want me to stop?" I asked still not sure if I had understood her intentions.

"I thought you were an empath." Grin.

"Darlin', you're wicked."

Everything was fine – more than fine, perfect – for the next hour, and I'm sure Bella has never looked more beautiful than when I made her happy. I was enjoying her bliss, and then I felt Edward in my head, and white hot anger, jealousy and desire hit me through the door.

I was up and outside in a fraction of a second, my aim clear. Apparently I had also been too quick for my brother, because I had him on the floor and my hands around his neck in no time.

_**Sorry for the cliffhanger, but otherwise this chapter would become way too long… I'll keep the updates coming.**_


	22. Chapter 22

_**A/N:**__** OK, now I've got my tea, so I can start typing up the next chapter. Have fun reading, and remember: reviews make me update faster!**_

_**Still don't own the characters.**_

22

Bella's diary

I really like the Cullens, they almost feel like family to me, and I think there can be no more loving person than Esme.

When Edward returned, he suggested we do some writing up of our trip to Seattle for the project, but was boo-ed out of the room by Rosalie and Alice who had booked me for a girls' night with movies and manicure. I'm going to compromise by doing some work on the project tomorrow. Somehow I didn't feel safe about being with Edward when Jasper wasn't there. Esme wants to help me cook tomorrow too, she's definitely looking forward to it and planning all sort of healthy menus – I'm not sure Charlie would appreciate that.

Jasper snuggled up t o me while we were watching the movie – I'm still amazed how one man can need so much loving – and when the movie was finished and he carried me downstairs I didn't want to let go of him. Somehow I didn't feel shy with him any longer. So the most amazing thing happened: with his hands and lips he made me feel so incredibly good – like I was flying.

I was still on cloud nine when he suddenly jumped up and streaked to the door in a blur. Then a lot of growling and hissing started, and I was afraid to check what was happening, so I decided to play possum. Besides, I was in no fit state of dress for that. Neither was Jasper come to think of it, but at least it's his family.

Suddenly Alice and Carlisle entered the fray too, because I heard Alice trying to clam Jasper down and Carlisle must have pulled whoever was fighting Jasper off.

My lover dashed back into the room and dressed briefly, then he was gone.

"he wouldn't have done it", Alice said. "He wouldn't really kill his brother."

"Ah", Edward scoffed in a croaking voice. "I could hear it quite clearly in his head, and so could you, otherwise you wouldn't have gotten Carlisle down here so quickly."

"Suit yourself", Alice said in a frustrated tone. "A simple 'thank you' would have sufficed. Should I do nothing next time?"

"There will be no next time", Edward said. Alice groaned, and a second later I could hear her little feet on the stairs. Edward must have turned to Carlisle. "I can't live like this. Jasper is dangerous, not only to me. He was going to sleep with Bella."

"Edward…" Carlisle tried to interrupt without success.

"No. She's seventeen, she deserves a life."

Again Carlisle tried to say something, but Edward as not to be stopped. "He can't make love to her. You told me yourself that men lose control toward the end of the act, and here we're talking about vampire strength."

"Edward, Jasper does have a lot of experience that way, more than Emmett or me. Besides, I sense a deep affection between him and Bella, and the act of love can be very tender…"

Edward groaned. "What if he isn't 'tender' but loses control completely? He has been living with us for fifty years with his wife. I know what he can be like in bed. He'll tear her to pieces. Apart from that, she is still his singer, so if he turns monster, he might have her blood as well."

"Edward, what do you want?" Carlisle asked when he finally stopped.

"I want him to leave Bella alone." Edward sounded like a petulant little boy and Carlisle sighed. "I don't think you'll achieve what you want by eavesdropping on Jasper and Bella in their private time. I'll talk to him about your fears if that makes you easier."

"Oh yes – as if I haven't tried that before." Edward kicked something. A minute later piano music started.

I exhaled. The idea of Edward being witness to what Jasper had been doing with me was very uncomfortable and embarrassing. At least now I knew why Jasper had been so mad at his brother. That he had been very turned on had been obvious, but I still couldn't believe that he would ever actually hurt me. Carlisle was right: His touch had been incredibly tender, and I suspected that he kept a close check on my feelings for any discomfort. Edward was just being overprotective. However, I was not easy about getting in between the two brothers. Still, I did feel a bit… inadequate after what I'd just heard: Would he really like me after being with beautiful Alice for half a century and god knows how many other women he could compare me to? Was that what Rosalie had meant when she said he would not need his gift to seduce me?

I was till tossing and turning when Jasper returned in the early hours.

"Hey, darlin', can't you sleep?"

I curled against him. "No, there was something missing to hold on to."

"Be right at your service, Ma'am", he drawled. "You'll get cold." He took off his T-shirt and slipped it over my head, then put one finger under my chin. "What kept you up? The fight I had with Edward?"

I nodded. He sighed. "Bella, that happens from time to time. We're not human, and sometimes we get overexcited…"

I was not going to be placated so easily. "He thinks you're going to kill me by making love to me."

Jasper took hold of my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. "Bella, I couldn't' kill you when I didn't know who you were and when you were a danger to the people I love most. Do you really think I would risk hurting you now that you are my life?"

I shook my head. No, I was sure that Jasper was no danger to me.

His golden eyes were still on me. "Darlin', I know what I'm doing, and if Edward has a problem with his sexuality, that's his problem alone. It has nothing to do with us."

"Carlisle said you had experience…" I didn't know how to ask the question I wanted to ask, but Jasper understood.

"When I left Maria, I realised that I had had nothing but death and destruction for several decades, and Maria had just been using me. I needed warmth and loving desperately, so I went looking for it." His gaze was on a faraway place.

"Did you find it?"

He shook his head. "No. I tried, but in effect it all added up to… experience. Now I'm sure I couldn't have found love while I was still killing, it didn't make sense. But yes, I do have some… experience." He smiled his cocky smile. "I also had some before I was changed."

"Were you really going to kill Edward?"

"No, but I was just … He was listening to us, gate crashing on what should have been a very private moment, and I couldn't bear that. We tend to become quite possessive."

"I don't want to cause trouble in your family."

"You're not. Don't you see that everyone loves you and treats you as a family member already? Carlisle would adopt you just for making Esme as happy as you did." He checked my face again. "Bella, you need to sleep." Then he leaned back and opened his arms for me to curl into.

Sleep came easily now.


	23. Chapter 23

_**Aren't I the busy bee? Had to go to the dentist this morning, so I was up anyway and thought I could get the next instalment typed.**_

_**twilight belongs to SM**_

23

Bella's diary

I woke up late, at around 11, and the room was empty. I padded to the bathroom to take a shower and do something about my hair. Shortly before I reached the door I ran into Edward. He took one look at me and glowered. I was still wearing only Jasper's T-shirt. In an attempt to brighten his mood I suggested writing up the Seattle results in the afternoon. He nodded and shrugged. I noticed he was trying not to meet my eyes, and the brief glimpse I'd had of his had been a black abyss. Apparently he was angry with me too. Well, as Jasper had said that was his problem.

After my shower I found Jasper back in his room with a breakfast tray.

"You don't need to do this, I can come up and get breakfast ready for myself", I told him after a brief kiss.

"I know you can, darlin', but this way I get to keep you for myself for a little longer. Esme is all fired up to start cooking, Rosalie wants you opinion on a book, and Alice is jumping up and down because she's found the perfect dress for you to go to the Spring Dance."

I made a face. "I don't dance; I'm not good at that."

Jasper shrugged and said. "Tell her." Then he pulled me into his arms for a more comprehensive embrace.

I didn't want to keep Esme waiting for too long, so I kept my breakfast short and got ready to join her.

Jasper sighed and came along. To our surprise Laurent was also there – he usually kept to himself or spent time with Alice in their room. "I hope you don't mind, no, but it's been 300 years since I've seen cooking done. I'm curios."

Esme had already done the shopping, and we started out on the preparations. Laurent was good fun with his curiosity and his Cajun accent, and soon we were doing as much cooking as horsing around. Everyone apart from Carlisle and Edward was there. Emmett was doing an impersonation of the Danish chef while Jasper provided a running commentary on the strange eating habits of the Americans of the 21st century. As soon as Edward heard our noise he appeared too, still glowering at Jasper and me, and leaned against the doorframe.

We had a casserole finished and were just starting on the stew when it happened. The knife I was using on a red pepper slipped and cut my finger. The blade was so sharp that I only felt it when the blood started running down my hand, and I held up my arm in an effort to staunch the flow. Then everything happened at once:

Esme who had been closest to me made a choked noise and called out Carlisle's name in a desperate voice from the other end of the room. Laurent was close to me suddenly, caught some blood on his finger and licked it up, moaning with pleasure. The next moment Edward took hold of him and threw him through the closed kitchen window. Then he stood in front of me in a protective crouch. I heard a snarl and a low grow from Jasper, who was holding on to the marble countertop, his hands clenched so hard that they left indentations in the stone. When I looked at his face I saw his lips were pulled back from his teeth, his eyes pitch-black, and for the first time since we'd been together I was really scared he would hurt me. There was no question anymore of this creature being human; still he looked glorious even in his most threatening version.

"Jasper, get out!" Edward pleaded, but only got another vicious snarl in return. Outside I heard Laurent struggling against Emmett while Alice was trying to calm him. Then I became aware of the coppery smell of my blood and the room started turning around me.

I came to in Carlisle's study. Carlisle was looking down on me with kind eyes. "Welcome back!"

I groaned. "I'm sorry, that always happens, I can't stand the smell of blood."

Carlisle suppressed a chuckle at that, but when I tried to sit up he shook his head. "Stay down a little longer; you hit your head on the counter. There's going to be a bit of a bump on it, I'm afraid. I'll get you something for the pain as soon as I'm sure you're really up. It will also help with the cut, which is quite deep."

I blinked and saw that he had dressed my finger professionally. "Where is Jasper?"

Carlisle looked sad. "He took off running. He does that when he is under stress. I'm sure he'll be back tomorrow…"

"Carlisle!" I heard Edward's voice and realised that he was in the room as well.

"Yes. Bella, Edward will drive you home now, and Esme will deliver the food to your house once it's cooked. Can you get up carefully?"

He supported me by holding my elbow, handed me a bottle of painkillers and Edward took me to his car in silence. He had already put my stuff in the back and drove me home at his usual speed.

The cruiser was not parked out front, so Charlie was still out. Edward carried my bag to the door for me, unlocked and led me to the sofa. He was about to turn when I stopped him. "Hey, talk to me! What's going on?"

He sighed. "Bella, I'm so sorry this happened."

"What happened? I cut my finger", I knew that that was not all, but I wasn't going to let Jasper or Edward take the blame for that.

"You could have died today. Laurent has had a taste of your blood, and Jasper…" He took a deep breath. "Bella, I need to go back. We're having another family conference."

He was gone before I could get another question in. The expression on his face had frightened me. There had been a touch of …. finality in it, as if he was looking at me for the last time. My heart started beating wildly, and that made me aware of a splitting headache, so I went upstairs to take some of Carlisle's medication.

Three hours later I woke up sprawled across my bed dressed. Dazed and confused I splashed some cold water on my face and got my whereabouts.

I changed into some comfortable sweats and padded downstairs to the kitchen. Several dishes from Esme's kitchen sat on the counter with a note. "Please keep the dishes. Take care of yourself. Love, Esme."

I gulped, feeling panic rise again. Were they going to disappear now? I was confused. Yes, it had been dangerous, and I had been really scared, but I didn't ant to lose the people who felt so much like family to me. Neither did I want to lose Jasper. I called his cell. No answer. Cold fear closed up my throat.


	24. Chapter 24

_**another short chapter, but I wanted to keep the POV separate. Don't forget to leave reviews! (the number of hits for this story is mind-blowing, but in no relation to the no of reviews)**_

24

Jasper's POV

I had thought I was stronger, but obviously I had been wrong. The moment Bella's blood started flowing my throat was on fire, and I was so focussed on fighting the urge to just step forward and drink, hat Laurent could get to her and taste her blood. His feeling of ecstasy pushed me over the edge, and had Edward not gotten to him before me, I would have thrown him off and have drained Bella right there.

Edward's protective gesture as well as his panic for Bella brought part of me back to my senses – the part that held on to the counter and refused to give in to he monster. But not for long: When Bella fell to the floor and I saw Edward bending down, I lost it and attacked him. Of course he saw it coming and pushed me off. At that moment Carlisle arrived, turned on the water to wash her blood down the drain and simply took Bella outside. Once the scent of her blood was removed, I crumpled to the floor in a heap.

Edward didn't look at me and followed Carlisle, but Rosalie came to comfort me. "Jasper, she's going to be ok. It was just a little cut."

"I know", I replied hoarsely – my throat was still giving me hell, "but I was about to drain her."

"Her blood does smell good, doesn't it?"

I groaned and fled from the house. I needed to run and think, to come to terms with the fact that I had been about to kill my love. Besides, the house was so full of negative feelings that it was giving me a headache worse than any I'd had while I was alive.

I knew there would be yet another family conference as soon as I was back, and I wanted to be calm and collected for that, dreading what might be the outcome.

Three hours later I had made up my mind and went back.

I sat down at the table as far as possible from Laurent and waited for Carlisle to start. "We need to rethink our staying here after the events of this afternoon", he started. "I'd like to hear your opinions."

A whimpering sound came from Esme, and I realised that she was crying quietly. "I never should have suggested the cooking here", she finally said in a voice just above a whisper. Carlisle took her hand and squeezed it.

I shook my head. "You didn't, that was me." I had been beating myself up about that for a big part of the time I had spent alone. How could I not have thought ahead? Why hadn't I realised what could happen if she did that? My love for her had so blinded me to the realities of my monster existence that I had naively assumed human activities could not cause trouble.

"That is not important", Edward cut in in his insensitive way. "Bella is in danger from us and the farther away we are from her the better."

"That is simply not true", Rosalie said obstinately. "She is my friend, and Jasper's girlfriend. Everyone in the family likes her; all we need is a bit more discipline." She glared at Laurent for good measure.

Our newest member flinched under her icy gaze and Alice sprang to his defence at once. "Just how much discipline do you expect from a new vegetarian when you have a beating heart in the house?"

"Right, that's what I'm talking about", Edward went on. "And now that Laurent has had a taste of her, we need to be gone." He was careful not to mention my reaction, but I knew he had read my decision anyway.

"Jasper?" Carlisle asked. I felt the sympathy he projected, but that didn't make it any easier.

I heard my voice talking from far away. "I know I have to break up with her. I don't see how leaving here at once would serve our purpose of staying undercover though, especially with the vampire casualties James &Co left us with."

"Yes", Esme agreed. "If we leave now, the Volturi might take that as a confession and move in on us." She sounded eager, and it cut me to the heart to see that she still had hope for Bella and me. Carlisle felt the same – I could see it in his face.

"How can you suggest Laurent staying anywhere near her?" Edward asked in an appalled voice. I just raised my eyebrows at him: _I'm not letting him get to her, don't worry._

Alice glared at me too. "Do you have to make this even harder for him? You of all people should know better!"

"Hey, out of line!" Emmett told her at once, while I was still reeling from the low hit.

"I'm not suggesting staying indefinitely, just till the end of the school year", I said.

Carlisle shook his head, sighing. "Alright, let's take a vote."

Edward, Alice, Laurent and Carlisle were for leaving immediately, Rosalie, Emmett, Esme and me for staying.

"Ah", Carlisle said. "We've never had that before. Any suggestions?"

"A second vote", I said. "in two weeks time, for example."

"You can't be seriously thinking of Laurent going to school after this!" Alice burst out.

"Far from it. I'd rather he stayed away from school as far as possible", I answered. Laurent threw me a thankful look. Edward nodded too.

"OK?" I asked, looking around. "I need to make a phone call."

Rosalie looked at me as if I had taken leave of my senses, but I dashed out before anyone could comment. I wanted to get this ugly business over with as soon as possible. Breaking up over the phone seemed the only viable option to me, for I was sure that Bella would senses my feelings if I tried to do it eye to eye.

She picked up on the first ring, even though – as I had realised after I had dialled the number – it was quite late.

I said my bit. I was cold and matter of fact, claiming there was no chance for love between vampire and human anyway – witness this afternoon's events – and that I'd been irresponsible to get into a relationship again so soon after splitting up with my mate of fifty years. I wished her all the best and asked her not to contact me again in her own best interest.

She listened and did not interrupt me. When I'd finished she put the receiver down without comment.

I felt as if I had just nailed my own coffin shut, and was about to call her and take back everything I had said, but stayed strong enough not to do it. It was the right thing, and if I wanted any convincing of that I just had to close my eyes: As soon as I did that I saw myself, holding Bella's cold, drained body and looking out of crimson eyes.


	25. Chapter 25

_***** thanks for the reviews, I love your ideas, some were good, but let me surprise you*****_

_**** sorry, another short chapter, the next one will be longer, but I've realised it needs a bit of revising so you're going to have to wait a little, til tomorrow or so ,-) *****_

_**** still don't own the characters****_

Ch 25

Bella's diary

Jasper has…

I can't write about that

Friday

I was dazed, it felt as if somebody had hit me hard over the head for the first two days after Jasper had broken up with me over that phone. I mean: One minute I was ready to sleep with him, he called me his life, the next he told me I wasn't good enough for him and should stay away.

Charlie was wonderful. He sensed I was sad, but did not push me into telling him anything I didn't want to. Neither did he hover like Renee would have done. He just somehow let me know he was there if I needed him.

I kept wondering and worrying what exactly it had been about me that hadn't been good enough for Jasper, even put myself down for naively assuming that someone so angelic would really be wanting anything to do with me.

Then I woke up. It wasn't me, it was him: He had been making speeches about soul mates, about wanting to be with me forever. And it had been him who had wanted to kill me and had now chickened out of the relationship under that typically male cover of arrogance and fake rationality.

I was incredibly angry. In a cartoon smoke would have been coming out of my ears.

Well, I wasn't dependent on arrogant vampires who sometimes condescendingly deemed it worth their while to consort with mere mortals.

After I had been sitting by myself for two days – the Cullens were back to ignoring me (apart from Edward in Biology) – Angela got me to join her table, and it was good to be with 'normal' teenagers again. We're going out for a movie in Port Angeles on Friday, and if the weather is sunny enough we've planned an excursion to First Beach for Saturday. Ha!

… but it still hurts. I miss running my hands through Jasper's hair, and I miss his voice and his touch.

Wednesday

Rosalie called me today, talking so quietly that I was sure she was scared of being overheard. She asked if we could meet after school.

I said yes, she should come round. I had been quite hurt by her joining the 'ignore-Bella' stunt, hadn't she said we were friends? Why was she simply giving in to what must be Jasper's whim?

At lunch I saw Edward talking to her angrily, apparently trying to stop her from coming (aha, so it's not only Jasper. What the hell is going on with them?), but when I arrived at the house in the afternoon, she was already there.

We went up to my room and I flopped onto my bed – gym had been hell again – while she stood by the window, looking stunningly beautiful and melancholic.

"Bella, I'm so sorry all this happened."

I was irritated. "Why would you be sorry? I was the klutz who cut her finger, and Jasper is the a…hole who broke up with me on the phone, telling me I was basically a rebound."

She looked startled, then pained. "That's not how he really feels."

"Ah? Has he said anything to you?" I couldn't quite hide the glimmer of hope.

She shook her head. "No, he is… totally unapproachable. He talks to nobody and is out most of the day."

"So how can you know how he feels?" Damnit, I was getting worried about Jasper now.

"He felt he had to break up with you. He said that at the meeting on Sunday. He thinks he's too dangerous for you. We… had a vote on staying in Forks…"

"And?" Why was my throat closing up like that? After all, I had come to terms with … No, the idea of not ever seeing him again was worse.

"It's undecided, so we'll try again in a few days. Bella, I don't want to lose you as a friend, Emmett feels the same, and he says you're like a little sister to him. And Esme is basically moping around the house, blaming herself for starting the whole cooking stunt."

"I still don't know what you want from me."

Rosalie took a deep breath. "Has Jasper ever talked to you about changing you?"

"Changing me?" He had said that love was not about changing the person you loved.

"Turning you into one of us. Then you would no longer be a temptation for him with your blood and you could stay with him forever."

"No, he hasn't." All of Jasper's coldness on that phone call came back to me. So he hadn't even considered us serious enough to talk about it. Still I was curios? "How does that work?" Jasper had always been vague on that point, like he didn't want to talk about his past, and I had never pushed him, not wanting to hurt him any more than he had already been in his long life.

Rosalie explained that vampire venom would have to be 'injected' during a bite – ugh! – and that one would have to let it spread while suffering horrible pain and basically dying before the change was complete.

"And that's it?" I asked, scared ht there was more horror yet to come.

"No, the first year is… well, you would be a newborn, crazed with thirst for blood, but Jasper can deal with that like no other…"

"That's all very fine, but – like I said – he never mentioned it…"

"It's not an easy thing to ask, it would mean you would have to leave your parents and your friends… Maybe that's why he didn't talk about it yet…" She was lost for words and lots of thoughts were swirling around my head, like in one of those snowstorm things. Finally I took a heart and cleared my throat. "Rosalie, I'm hurt, I'm completely confused and I just want some normality in my life or I'll go mad. Maybe this is easier if it's a clean cut."

She sighed and hung her head. "That's what Edward said, too. I'm sorry you feel that way, and I'm going to miss you, but you're right: If you want a normal life you have to stay away from us." She sounded choked, and when I next looked, she was gone.


	26. Chapter 26

_**** I know, I know… I wanted to update yesterday afternoon, but then I got sidetracked…****_

_**** Anyway, the action starts again… leave me some feedback, your reviews keep me going! (and I'm coming to the end of what I've been writing in hospital…)****_

_**** still don't own twilight ****_

Ch 26

Jasper's POV

I'm despicable. I caused Bella fear and pain, which cuts me to my undead heart. But I deserve that. I can't be with my family, not the way I'm projecting depression, so I'm in the house only for a change of clothes and for my new task: watching Laurent. He is always thirsty thee days, like a newborn, and I know he is trying to distract himself from the greed for Bella's blood. We went to Mount Rainier together on the weekend, and he fed savagely, trying to quench his thirst. He feels bad about what happened, but from time to time I glimpse excitement and arousal at the memory of Bella's taste.

Really I should have voted for moving, but – selfish beast that I am – I can't. I simply cannot bear not to be able to look at my angel. I need to see her lie a human needs oxygen. So I have begun to stalk her, watch her whenever possible. Publicly I ignore her and secretly I'm always close. I'm outside her window when she sleeps. Edward – the creep – keeps watch inside. I can't deal with his glee that he has been right all along though, so in a childish fit I devised some revenge: When we were driving to school today, I thought about how I had been going to take Bella to the Spring Dance, garnishing my bait with images of myself in dress uniform and Bella in a completely over-the-top Antebellum dress, just the sort of kitsch Edward would fall for. Going home I felt some confusion and disappointment from him – serves him right!

Bella is sleeping fitfully, dreaming and sometimes talking in her sleep, sometimes even saying my name. I was shocked the fist time I heard that, but I stayed strong (and outside).

When she talked to Rosalie, she said she needed a clean cut and some normal friends. She has taken to spending time with the Newton kid and his circle of friends, going out with them on the weekend too. I sense affection from the guy and lust – what man would not want her? – and the more time she spends with him the surer I become that sooner or later she will say yes to him. Or another man, who will then have the chance of being with her. She will smile her sweet smile for him, he will touch her, and it will be his name she calls out when they…

I can't think about that without venom pooling in my mouth.

This afternoon she went to Mike's parents' shop with him, to ask if she could work there on the weekends for her college fund. She was all excited about earning her own money, and the Newtons liked her at first sight.

She came out talking to Mike who saw her to her truck like the perfect gentleman he was raised to be. Damn! They even look right together, and she deserves a life, a real life.

I know what I have to do. Edward will keep her safe from Laurent, I can trust him with that.

Bella's diary

Friday

My new friends are fun, and a good distraction from the nagging pain about Jasper. Seeing him ignoring me in school everyday is like a slap in the face, but I must not dwell on that or I'll turn into a sopping mess again.

The Biology project is almost finished, and I'm quite sure that Edward will no longer know me then either. Especially not after I turned him down for the Spring Dance today. Only someone who doesn't know me at all would invite me to something like that. Or he thought he'd do something for the pathetic lonesome girl. Grrr! Well, maybe what I told Rosalie is true, maybe a clean cut is better.

Cinema and the time in La Push on the weekend was really great. Jake and his gang turned up out of the blue and started smiling like he was obsessed when he saw I was there with other kids than the Cullens, throwing me meaningful looks about Mike until I was ready to hit him around the head. Mike clearly wasn't happy about me knowing all those butch, good-looking Indians either. Well, tough luck. I'm not ready to move on yet, and I'm certainly not getting into a catfight with Jessica who keeps ogling Mike from under mascara-ed lashes, so I turned Mike's invitation for the Dance down too. What is it with boys and dancing up here? In Phoenix, you couldn't get them to even consider going but here they line up? Must be something in the water.

I can earn some money on the weekends at the Newton's Outdoor and Tracking Supply Store, starting tomorrow, which will be excellent. It would also distract me from thinking about Jasper. Oh no, obsessing again.

Saturday

I almost jumped out of my skin this morning when I came back to my room after a shower and found Rosalie waiting for me. She looked quite freaked herself, nervous and fidgeting – something I've never ever seen the others do, they can be incredibly still.

"Bella, you need to help me!" She pleaded at once in a choked voice.

"How can I do that? What happened?"

"Jasper came to Emmett last night and asked him to …kill him."

"What?" Despite all my good intentions, my heart was beating in my throat. "But Emmett won't do that, right?"

"of course he won't. He was completely distraught, bawling like a little boy all night, but, well, he's also scared: he thinks Jasper is serious and will find a way to make him do it, provoke a fight or whatever. He was not a military man for nothing. I'm worried something will happen to Emmett, and I also don't want to lose Jasper. I…" She slid down the wall and sat on the floor.

I shook my head, trying to clear it. "What can I do? Jasper is completely ignoring me…"

"Can you call him or text him? He's gone out hunting again with Laurent and Emmett, and they won't be back before nightfall, but what if he provokes a fight there?"

"Did you ask Alice about the outcome?"

"I can't. She left with them before I could get to her. Bella, it's Jasper!"

I gave in. "I'll try calling him, ok?"

"You're the best", Rosalie beamed at me, then frowned. "Why are you up this early on the weekend?"

I gulped and told her about my new job while dashing downstairs to grab some breakfast. When I left the house, calling Jasper's cell on the way, she was gone. Jasper didn't answer his phone, so I left a message to the intent of telling him to calm down and not to worry Rosalie and Emmett so much. I kept calling his number whenever I had a break without result.


	27. Chapter 27

Ch27

Bella's diary

I'm floating in and out between pain and feeling completely numb. The medication Carlisle has given me must be quite strong, so I've been out of it most of the time, and it seems as if the day when it happened was ages ago.

My first day at work went well – apart from my worries about Jasper. I was about to leave when my phone rang. I picked it up frantically, knocking things over in the storage room. It was Jasper who reminded me in a cold voice that he didn't want me to contact him again.

I was so… flabbergasted that I sat down in the middle of the chaos I had just created staring at my cell after he had hung up on me again. I think I hyperventilated again, and collapsed.

Mike found me after a few minutes, helped me up and talked me into coming home with him, officially to work on an English assignment. In fact he had asked if Charlie was home, and, when I told him no (he had been roped into moonlight fishing with Harry Clearwater), Mike insisted I'd not be alone. He didn't tell his parents what had happened to me, which I had begged him not to do – I hate the kind of fuss that generates and he had agree to that. He was quite discreet, didn't ask what the call had been about either – I must have dropped my cell at some point, he probably saw Jasper's name on the display. Maybe he is a more sensitive guy than he lets on. Anyway, he drove me home at eight – he'd gotten me invited for the family dinner somehow – and promised to get my truck back to me the next day.

I went upstairs to get ready for bed and write my diary, in order to get some order into my confused thoughts about Jasper, but didn't get very far with that, I was really worn out.

I was just about to turn off the light when I saw Edward leaning against my wardrobe looking furious. For all his angelic looks he seemed to be glowing with anger.

"How did you get in here?" I asked, then took a shocked breath. "Is something wrong with Jasper?" For all my fear I was angry with myself at once. Why was I still worked up about that guy who had again told me in no uncertain terms he wanted nothing to do with me? Was I like Charlie, able to love only one person for the rest of my life? Probably yes, the feeling about Jasper had been so strong, so… clear, and I couldn't imagine anyone else being with me if I was really honest with myself.

I would never have anticipated Edward's reaction to my question though. "So, Jasper, too, is it? You dream about him at night and flirt with Newton during the day?" He came closer, looking threatening. "Are you going to the Dance with him? Is that why you turned me down?"

"Huh?" I was confused. I felt as if I had been dropped in a conversation without knowing the context.

"I asked a question. The Dance?"

"Edward, I'm not going…"

He didn't let me finish, but waved whatever I had been wanting to say away impatiently. "Were you making out with him in his room while you were there?" He was standing at the foot of my bed, staring down at me from very dark eyes.

"No, I'm not going at all, I don't dance…"

"Liar! So there's yet another one, right?"

"Edward, what's wrong? You're scaring me." I pulled my legs up. All of a sudden I was aware that I was all alone in the house with a vampire. He would be able to block my exit and could definitely outrun me if I made it out. At the same time he would stop me from calling for help.

"I can read his thoughts, remember? He wants you. I've seen what he wants to do with you, but I'm not allowing that. You're mine." He hissed the last two words.

"What are you talking about?" My heart was beating fast.

"I saw you first. I protected you against that van and against Laurent and Jasper. And how do you repay me? You let Jasper… fondle you, and now you've found that silly boy. That is not going to happen!" He was on the bed in the blink of an eye and ripped away my clothes. He was growling and I pleaded for him to let me go, but he hurt me… so much.

Then suddenly it stopped, and from then on my memory is blank.

_**** yes, I know, it's a cliffhanger… bear with me, I'll have two more chapters ready ****_


	28. Chapter 28

_*****OK, sorry to have kept you waiting again. I promise to better myself! *****_

_**** Don't forget to leave feedback in order to make me faster. I will eventually answer the reviews too. Scout's honour! ****_

_***** Ah, yes, there will be some action in the next chapter, which you will like. *****_

CH 28

Jasper's POV

She still cared for me. She kept calling, I saw there were six missed calls, and she left a message. If only I was stronger, I could have a life with her, but I know I'm not. So I made another one of those cold phone calls, which she listened to in silence.

It's definitely better if my existence ends soon. What – apart from misery death and destruction – have I brought to this world after all?

I was determined to have it end tonight, so I didn't really feed, in case my survival instinct would kick in later, but just made sure Laurent was nowhere near Bella all day. Tomorrow they could vote for leaving with a majority then.

When we got back, I set out for Bella's house at once. I wanted to see her one last time; I needed to see her so I could think of her when it ended.

When I arrived under her window I was almost thrown back by wave upon wave of extremely strong feelings: rag, desire, arousal and fear. Bella's fear.

I was up and in her room without thinking and pulled Edward off her. He didn't know what hit him, and in my effort to get rid of him, I simply threw him down the stairs. "Get lost! The next time I see you, you're dead", I growled after his pitiful retreat out the door. Then I turned and went back to Bella.

She was lying on the bed, naked and completely catatonic. I covered her but I didn't dare move her for fear of upsetting bones broken by my monster brother and called Carlisle. I have no idea what I told him, only that it made him appear fast with his bag. He checked Bella through and then carefully carried her to his car to get her to hospital for a more thorough examination.

He smiled at me sadly when he saw me getting in the car and phoned Esme to take care of the house. "We'll claim Bella fell down the stairs, which would explain most of her injuries."

"Will she be alright?" I asked, fear closing up my throat.

Carlisle shrugged. "I don't know yet. Let me get to work first."

"I want to stay with her."

He smiled again. "I know, and I promise to make sure you can be with her as much as possible. In fact I need you to be there to calm her down…"

"I'm not doing a cover up of Edward's actions." I could feel venom pooling already, and another of my temper bursts was clearly ahead.

"Jasper, you can't have Chief Swan arrest Edward for the rape of his daughter without blowing all our covers."

"Ok," I agreed half-heartedly, struggling to fight my rage. Of course I knew he was right but I wanted to see consequences for Edward.

Carlisle took Bella away to check her and reappeared some time later pushing her in a hospital bed. She had a brace on her left arm and was as white as the sheets. She was also still out from the sedative he had given her back at the house. I followed Carlisle to a room and raised my eyebrows sacredly.

"It could have been worse, much worse", he said, pushing his hair back. "You must have been in time. He didn't get to rape her. Edward is completely inexperienced, and my impression is that he tried to copy what you did with her. She is badly bruised all over, one rib is cracked, and her left ulna is fractured. She must have tired to fight back."

I closed my eyes, trying to wipe the images of my angel attempting to fight off a determined vampire from my mind. "Will she be ok again?"

"She is traumatised, I cannot yet say how much." Carlisle looked down at her with the love of a father.

"Will she ever look at one of us again?" I asked.

"Jasper, she is quite a strong person, give her time to heal. She needs to feel safe before she is going to open up to any man again."

"I don't have time. It's best if we leave." I heard my voice was choked, and had I been human, I would have been crying desperately. I was sitting on Bella's bed, carefully stroking her face for the last time I was sure.

Carlisle snickered at the idea of me not having time, then he put his hand on my shoulder. "You don't really want to leave her, do you?"

"I'm not sure I can", I whispered. The voices in my head that had been at each other's throat constantly had started fighting again: one kept telling me to be a good person and let Bella have a full human life and not risk her death by staying close, the other yelled at me about how stupid one could be to have found one's soul mate and then leave her and the possibility of happiness for once in my life.

He seemed to be aware of my inner conflict like the good doctor he is. "Then don't. You were very brave tonight."

I frowned. "What are you talking about?"

Carlisle shook his head. "Jasper, she was bleeding quite freely, it must have been hard…"

"I… I didn't notice. I only saw her hurting and wanted to get her better…" I was confused. Of course he was right: She had bitten her lip, and he had had to tape her eyebrow from where Edward must have smacked her, and I knew that head wounds bleed like the devil, but the smell had not even registered in my worried mind.

"I think you love her too much to actually hurt her", Carlisle said. "And I'm not getting in the way of you being truly happy." He went to the door. "I need to talk to Edward as fast as I can. I let word to let you stay, but you might want to leave when her father comes by. Please come home then."

I remained in the room alone with my battered angel, stunned by the turn of events. Maybe, just maybe, I was more man than monster, and she still cared for me, too. I would do anything to get her better and show her she could trust me. I bent down and kissed her hand. She whimpered. Oh no, she was still in pain. Quickly I sent her a wave of calm and her features relaxed.

An hour later Chief Swan came in. The tall man was trying to choke back his tears. He shook my hand and thanked me for getting Bella to hospital when she'd called me after her fall. I assured him that the injuries weren't critical and then left him with her. He was projecting so openly that I was almost overwhelmed by the love and worry, the pain and recriminations for not having been there himself. Thank god, he hadn't been: Edward would have killed him first and then what?

How could I ever ask Bella to leave her dad?

I raced back to the house through the forest, and only stopped at the scent of a human-drinker close to it. Damn it, had those vile nomads come back? Alright, just the thing for my temper right now. I tracked the scent carefully and without thinking pounced on the person who was lurking next to the driveway.

"Whoa, stop, Major?"

"Peter?" I had been so fixed on the hunt that I had almost killed my oldest friend. "What are you doing here?"

"I had a feeling that you were up to no good." His eyes scanned my face. "Why did I get the impression you were going to say goodbye to this good old world of ours?"

Peter and his intuition had always amazed me. Of course he had known I was going to try suicide and had set out to stop me. "Later. How did you get here?"

"By plane, you don't want to know what that took me. Charlotte was as happy as a pumpkin, but I … You look dreadful. Come on, spit it out!"

I knew he would not let me pass without knowing what was going on, so I summed up the situation briefly.

"Oh boy, Jasper Whitlock has fallen for a human. You gonna change her?"

"Not at the moment", I detailed the situation up to this evening, and he looked confused.

"Want me to help you get the bastard?" He growled. He was probably imagining someone hurting Charlotte. Anyone trying to do so would have a hard time getting the pieces of himself back together after Peter was done with him.

"The bastard has been my brother for fifty years. Pete, I need to get inside to decide what to do. Come along?"

"Will do. You can't be left alone, Major, but I've told you that one before. I just call Char that everything's all… well, that we have to deal with a different problem."


	29. Chapter 29

_***** Right, here's the next chapter, don't forget to leave me some reviews. On the weekend I'll get round to answering them. *****_

_**** still don't own anything twilight ****_

Ch 29

Jasper's POV

We came into the living room at the same time that Edward and Carlisle entered from the other side.

Even though I had been determined to face him coolly, all the resolve was gone as soon as I saw the smooth face and felt not remorse but anger and aggression from him. The picture of Bella, hurt, frightened and shocked appeared in my mind, and I pounced on him. Soon we were rolling around the place, a growling hissing tangle of angry vampires. My rage and experience made me stronger, so that I soon had him pinned down. I had gotten a few good bites and was about to tear him apart, when a noise registered in my head.

"Please, no, he is my son!" Esme.

I took a deep breath and let him go. _I'm doing this for her, remember that!_ Then I got a bit of distance between us and went back to Peter, who was staring at me in disbelief. Carlisle nodded thanks. He looked as if he had aged considerably in the last few hours.

Edward was still reeling from my blows and holding his bite wounds, when something resembling a blonde cannonball came flying at him: Rosalie, eyes blazing and looking like an avenging angel towered over him. "How could you do something like that? Do you have any idea how much that hurts?" She smacked him in the face with all her strength. The force of it sent him across the room, where he got up in an attacking position turned on Rosalie. Before he could jump however, Emmett stood with her and held her close. "No, Rosie, that worm is not worth you getting all hot and bothered about. We'll make sure that little Bella is not hurt by him again." Rosalie curled against him, and her shoulders were heaving. I knew she was reliving her own pain and that Emmett hated Edward the more for making her remember it. I've never seen my friendly brother look so angrily at anyone.

Neither had Edward. He started and put on his mask of civilised indifference.

"What I don't understand", Alice's voice piped up from across the room, "is how you could not notice her thoughts, I mean, she obviously didn't want you…" She shut up, having realised her undiplomatic approach.

Edward was avoiding her enquiring look, so I answered for him. "He can't hear her."

"What?" Alice squeaked, and the others were incredulous too. We usually relied on Edward to warn us if someone became suspicious of us, threatening to blow our cover. We had done so especially with Bella after the accident. Now he had everybody's attention, but he was still not facing anyone.

"Edward?" Carlisle asked.

"She was quiet. That attracted me to her in the first place", he mumbled in that infuriating cold voice and glared at me.

Uproar followed.

After a while Carlisle cleared his throat. "I know everyone here is hurt and upset by what has happened. I asked Edward to leave the family, and he agreed to go to Denali." He squeezed Esme's hand. "I think you can imagine how hard that decision was for me, but I'm afraid I can see not other option at the moment, which would be acceptable to us all."

Rose made a choked noise and I noticed that my hands were still clenched into fists.

"You're going to let him get away with hurting your mate?" Peter turned to me, his eyes round with disbelief.

Edward scoffed with contempt. "Yes, in contrast to you killer beasts we're civilised, but I'd be much obliged if you took your friend away with you, who has managed to weasel his way into my family and turn them against me."

The next two seconds Peter and I were back to our old routine. I was close to Edward, bombarding him with feelings of depression and horror until he was on his knees, holding his head in pain, while Peter was shielding me against anyone stupid enough to get in my way.

"Do you have any idea who you're dealing with here, you stupid boy?" Peter asked Edward in a mocking tone. "He would have the likes of you for breakfast when he was with us, and they'd be screaming for him to end it."

It took a while, but then I realised what I was doing, and the voice of Carlisle finally registered in my head. "Jasper, son, please remember who you are. You're more than a killer, and there's more to you than enjoying inflicting pain."

I turned from Edward in shame, swallowing the venom.

"Major?" Peter was frowning. He was next to Edward, restraining him from getting away from us.

I shook my head. "Let him go!"

Peter shrugged and lifted his hands. "If you think so."

"Do as I said!" Then I turned to Edward. _Make sure I never see you again! _I thought, and he nodded. Half an hour later we heard the vanquish roar from the garage.

"Peter and Charlotte have come to visit me for a while", I said to the others, then turned to the stairs. "I need some time alone."

Peter followed me to my room, shaking his head. "What has happened to you? Why did you allow that?"

"I'm not the leader of the coven here, Carlisle is, and I've been given …second chances and lenience quite often too over the last fifty years. They are good people, really good, and I can't disappoint them."

"He was let off stealing your mate!"

"No, I had broken up with her. Besides, what Carlisle did is the harshest he has ever been with anyone, and he is Edward's creator. He is in effect sentencing him to the loneliness he was suffering for such a long time. That was no easy decision for him, believe me."

"What about that Bella girl then?"

"She wouldn't like it either if I killed Edward for her…"

"Are you sure about that?"

I nodded. "Yes, she's… incredibly kind and forgiving, but I don't think she would want to live with someone who had killed Carlisle and Esme's son. That is, if she'll ever even look at one of us again."

"You know you have to change her, don't you?"

I turned away from Peter in pain.

"Major, get a grip. How long do you think it will take for someone to rat on you to the Volturi? That will not make her life any safer."

"Her father…"

"… will not survive that either. Major, I'd like to stay a while, if you don't mind. I have a bad feeling about that Edward guy."

I sighed. "You can't feed anywhere near here; those nomads already got us into trouble."

"I know, but I could feed in Seattle, when I pick up Charlotte later, that should last me a while. By the way, how did you vegetarian lot get entangled with Laurent?"

I told him how Alice had met him in New York, and how he had joined us. Peter frowned. "I'm afraid, he is bad news. Majorly bad news."

"Why would you say that?" Edward and I had checked him after all.

"The guys he used to be mixed up with down South are seriously deranged, and he has an uncanny talent for getting out of scrapes, I've heard."

"Yes, but the nomads were his old coven, and so far they've stayed away." Of course, Peter was echoing my own premonitions about the nomads.

"Mm, you know what? I'll keep you company until you're back to thinking straight again. Apparently the military man and the lover don't mix too well in your personality. Besides, I want to see the human who has twisted your mind even more than the evil pixie."

With that he was gone, to get Charlotte, I presumed, and I went to tell Esme that we would have some houseguests for a while and ask her where to put them up.


	30. Chapter 30

_**** still don't own twilight ****_

_***** yes, I know, you'd all like to see Edward hung, drawn, quartered, shot, stabbed, poisoned and burnt for good measure, but I'm afraid I still need him alive… eh… vamping it **____**, so be patient! *****_

_**** if you want to burn up some energy, leave me a review ****_

Ch 30

Bella's Diary

The morning after that terrible day Carlisle came to see me early in the morning. I know they don't change but he definitely looked …strained. He pulled a chair up to my bed and kindly asked me how I was feeling.

The nurse, who had brought me breakfast, had already told me about the broken arm and cracked rib as well as the fall down the stairs, so I knew the legend they had made up. I grimaced and told him that my body felt as if I had been in a fight with a ten ton truck. He chuckled briefly, then looked at me seriously: "Bella, do you remember what happened?"

I flinched, and my face must have told him that I did.

"I have sent Edward away, he's far from here, and he won't hurt you again. I'm so sorry this happened to you, so is everyone in the family, as you can imagine. Esme and Rosalie want to come round later in the day with some fruit and books." He tried to gauge if that was ok by me.

I wasn't sure. I was furious that Edward was supposed to get away after hurting me, and I wasn't sure about my involvement with these… people anymore.

My face must have shown my thoughts, and Carlisle turned his intense eyes on me in supplication. "Bella, I have a huge favour to ask of you. I guess you already know what it is, and that you don't agree with my handling of the affair, but please understand that telling on Edward and trying to prosecute him in a human court is impossible. What's more, it's dangerous, not only for my family but also for you."

"Why would that be?" I wondered if they would get the best lawyer money could buy to defend him and paint me a slut like he had done.

"Humans are not supposed to know we exist, let alone know as much about us as you do, or be friends with us, which is highly unlikely anyway. I think you have already been told about the Volturi, haven't you?"

"Yes, but…" Did he want to have Edward tried in a vampire court of law?

"They would step in, punish us for giving away the secret of our existence, and they would silence you." He looked pained.

"Silence as in… killing me?"

He nodded. "I'm really sorry for what has happened, and believe me, we deeply regret the pain you're going through, but please be reasonable in this. Stick with the fall down the stairs story." I later worried if he would sacrifice me in order to save his family, but couldn't imagine Carlisle sacrificing any kind of life, that's simply not who he was.

I nodded slowly. "Ok, don't worry about me." I mean: Let's face it: Who would believe me if I told the truth anyway? Everybody would think I had been reading too many bad books and had invented the enamoured vampire. Besides, as all the Cullens seemed to fear the Volturi, the chance of getting away from them once they were on the warpath seemed slim indeed.

Carlisle beamed at me, looking hugely relieved. "Thank you, Bella, I'm sure it's for the best if we handle it this way, and, as I said, we'll make sure nothing happens to you."

"When can I leave here?" I asked. I hated hospitals.

"Ah", Carlisle became all business-like doctor again. "Well, after two days anytime you want, in effect. I want to make sure there are no lasting head injuries, that's why I kept you overnight in the first place, and if your rib doesn't hurt too bad, you can go home on Tuesday. I also wanted to make sure that the bruises are faded a little."

I had hand-shaped bruises on my arms and legs, which were thankfully covered by the long-sleeved hospital gown. I did not want Charlie to see them either and nodded. "That's good news. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I left word to give you some pills which will make it easier for you to sleep without nightmares, and these", he held up another bottle, "are for the other pains." He hesitated and seemed to work on how he would put the next question. "If you want you can see a gynaecologist of your choice. I checked you last night, and apart from the bruising and the soreness, you should be alright in that respect."

I blushed at the thought of Carlisle examining me, but then again, he was a doctor after all, and I was sure he had done a good job. Besides, how would I explain anything else to a colleague of his? "No, it's …ok. I'm tired."

"I knew, dear. Take some pills. If you sleep, your body get the rest it needs to heal." He brushed my face lightly and left.

I drifted in and out of sleep for the next few hours. Once I thought Jasper was there, sitting close to me, but I might have been dreaming that.

When I woke up again in the afternoon, Rosalie and Esme were sitting next to my bed. They had brought flowers and grapes as well as a selection of books, and we spent the next hour together laughing and chatting. Being with them seemed so natural that I wondered how I could ever have doubted their friendship. I noticed that there seemed a cloud of sadness hovering over Esme though: for all her love of me (which I wouldn't doubt for a second), she was still sad that Edward was gone. OK, I could see her point; he had been her son for the last eighty years after all.

They left when Charlie came by. He was awkward and uncomfortable visiting me in hospital and kept asking, when I would be allowed to come home while showering me with affection. I guessed rightly that he was blaming himself for my accident and set out putting him right. "Charlie, we both know that I would have managed to fall down the stairs with or without you there." And I was quite sure Charlie would not really have stopped a vampire as deranged as Edward had been that night either.

"Yes, but… what if that Hale guy had not answered his phone so fast or…"

I gulped. I had accepted the fall story but had not known about Jasper's involvement so far, I had simply assumed it must have been Rosalie who stopped Edward. "What? Jasper?"

"Yes, Bells, you called him, he got you to hospital. He was here until I came last night. I have to admit that maybe I was wrong about him at first sight. I was worried you had broken up…" He let the sentence hang there, not wanting to intrude into my private affairs.

"Mm", I said. So Jasper had stepped in and stopped his brother. That didn't make sense, not with his phone calls and the request to get the hell out of his hair.

"You tired, little girl?" Charlie looked worried.

"A bit", I lied. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts for a bit.

"Right", he said. "I'll leave you in the good care of the doc then. Take care, Bells." He kissed me lightly on the cheek, took his head and left.

Jasper's POV

I had gone back to Bella later in the night, to be there for her. And to make sure Edward had not come back to finish what he had started. He had nothing to lose after all, and Peter was right, he could not be trusted. She was dreaming badly, thrashing around in the bedclothes and about to wake herself up again by touching a sore spot (one of the many my monster brother had left her with). I stayed with her, sending her wave after wave of calm and tried to take away as much of the pain and panic as I could.

I also sneaked in after Carlisle left her in the morning, but she was still quite out of it then. Once I had the impression she noticed me, so I sat on the bed and took her hand, wanting to tell her how sorry I was for what had happened, and for my behaviour on the phone. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her and how I had never been far from her in the past two weeks, because I simply couldn't live without her, but as soon as I touched her hand she flinched, and her eyes became wide with shock at my cold touch.

"I'm so sorry, darling, I never meant to…" I stammered, then I realised what had happened. I reminded her of that monster and his touching her with his cold dead hands without her permission. Of course, I was just another one of the undead creatures who kept hurting her, not her lover, not her mate. I realised I would never be that after yesterday. I took a sharp breath and left. I needed to be alone.

Peter caught me threshing around the deserted forest, screaming out my pain and loneliness.

"Major?"

When I didn't react he finally wrestled me down, meeting my eyes. "Care to tell me what's going on?" I've never seen so much compassion in vampire burgundy coloured eyes.

I told him, curling in his lap like a small boy. He sighed and comforted me.

Soon I felt another hand stroking my hair. Charlotte had come too and was helping him. "Jasper? I know I've never met the girl, but have you considered that you might be overreacting?"

I snorted.

"Jasper, don't panic. She is quite probably not herself right now, she's heavily medicated, she's in pain and in shock. Give her some time. Rosalie and Esme just came back to the house, and they said they were with her for an hour. Please, calm down. There's no need to give up yet." She kept running her hands through my hair like Bella used to do, only obviously her hands were not that warm, and there was no heartbeat. I groaned in exasperation and despair at missing my angel's touch.

My friends gave me time and kept up their comforting.

"What would be the difference if you tried again in the next few days?" Peter suggested pragmatically half an hour later.

I shrugged.

He got up and pulled me with him. "You're not alone in this. Your whole family is behind you, and you've got us as well."

With an effort I managed a smile. "Thanks, Pete. If you don't mind I'd like to get back…"

He cleared his throat. "You can do that, but the huge guy said he would take care of her for tonight. Somehow he must have guessed something had gone wrong, when you weren't there anymore when his girl arrived…"

I shook my head. Emmett might not be as fast in the head as some other vampires, but his heart was in the right place, and he had an awesome intuition for other people's feelings. Knowing I'd be no good to Bella in my confused and agitated state anyway, I decided to take up my friends' suggestion to get back to the house and catch up on the decades since we'd last seen each other. They were right. I could go back and try again when she was better.


	31. Chapter 31

_**** still don't own twilight ****_

_***** still do own a hunger for reviews *****_

Ch 31

Jasper's POV

Though I kept staying with Bella for the nights, trying to take away her bad dreams and her pain, I did not go back during the day for a while. I had given Rosalie an explanation and asked her to somehow get that across to Bella.

She had been home now for two days, and her room brought back the memories of that brutal attack with a vengeance. As she could not tell her father about it for obvious reasons, she was stuck to staying there and dealing with her fear. After two days I compromised and called her on the phone. Anything was better than imagining her turning me down finally 475 times a day.

"Yes?" Hesitant. Who could blame her after the last few phone calls she had gotten from me?

"Bella, it's me. Please don't hang up!" Oh god, it was so good hearing her voice talking to me and not screaming in fear in her nightmares.

"Why would I do that?" Astonished.

"Because I behaved atrociously the last two times I spoke to you. Darlin', I thought I had to do what I did to keep you alive, and I was sure you would never believe me if I did it face to face, you know me too well…"

"Did you get Edward off me?" I knew someone must have told her, but the last thing I wanted was have Bella get the idea of me as some kind of hero saving her – that was as far from the truth as could be. Besides, I was quite sure that she was not into the whole 'damsel in distress gets rescued by knight in shining armour' either. That had probably been Edward's idea of her, but it didn't make sense for the Bella I knew.

"Yes", I took a deep breath and told her my feelings about that, how I kept blaming myself for what happened to her, how I had probably had a hand in making him jealous with my childish Spring Dance trick, and how I wished I could turn back time. There, at least I had come clean, now she could send me to hell.

"To what moment would you turn back time if you could?" She asked.

"To our picnic in the meadow", I answered, saying the first thing that came into my mind.

"That would be my choice too", she said.

I held my breath. Would she really be that forgiving? "Can I come and see you?" Pushing my luck.

"I'd really like that", she said, hesitating suddenly. "But today is not good. Some friends will come this afternoon and tonight, Billy and Jacob said they'd come round for dinner and to watch the game."

The wolves. Wonderful. And why wasn't she telling me what friends? I fought down my insecurity and said lightly. "That's great. The weather will be too good for us to be in school tomorrow, so I could come round anytime you like."

"Great!" She sounded like she meant it. "I'll see you at nine then. Bye Jasper." She hung up, leaving me confused but happy.

Before I could stop myself I was watching who was visiting her in the afternoon, hiding in a tree from which – with vampire eyesight – you could see what went on in her room.

I almost fell out when Peter snuck up behind me. "Here you are. Care to tell me why you're stalking her?"

"Hold your horses. I phoned her two hours ago and I'll meet her tomorrow, but she told me she was busy today…"

"And you wanted to see who with", Peter nodded. "Who are they?"

"Friends from school." Jessica, Angela and Mike were sitting on the bed with Bella. They had brought flowers and sweets and were talking and laughing with her like youngster do.

"Which of the girls is the boy with?"

"None", I sighed. "He wants her, and don't tell me you didn't notice that. Doesn't take an empath to do that." My eyes narrowed, and I could feel venom pool watching Newton with my girl.

"Take him down for you?"

"No, don't touch him."

"You lost me", Peter confessed checking my expression intently.

"He's quite a good guy, and turning into a jealous monster is not going to ingratiate myself with her."

He shrugged.

"Alright, if he gets in my way, I don't think I'll really manage to live up to Carlisle's standards, but I'll see her tomorrow. By the way, you need to stay away from the vicinity tonight, some of the wolves will be in Forks." I had already brought him up-to-date with the treaty.

"OK, we were thinking of running over to Vancouver anyway. Will you come along?"

I shook my head, knowing they wanted to feed in the city. I could not be with them while they did that. Other than their feeding habits Peter and Charlotte were a hit with the Cullens, they were fun to be with and as nice a pair of guest you could wish for, but everybody had given up on convincing them of joining our lifestyle.

"Right, don't fall off the tree dreaming about her, and don't do anything I wouldn't, Major. See you tomorrow." He was gone fast.


	32. Chapter 32

_**** wohoo! another chapter ****_

_**** Have fun reading ****_

_***** twilight belongs to SM *****_

CH 32

Bella's diary

Carlisle had been right again. My bruises were starting to fade a little, so I left the hospital on Tuesday. School was not an option for another week, which I was glad for at the moment. I needed time to think.

I have to do something to this room, I can't really leave it like this, it just reminds me of how Edward came in that night, and… I'll ask Rosalie to help me with that. She has been passing along good wished from Jasper and tried to explain how he had no choice really after the incident with the knife, and how much he wanted to see me. Hm. He has not done that so far, and I really need him. I want to curl into his arms and forget all the memories of that monster that had seemed so nice and polite, but was far from it. Rosalie says some friends of his are staying with him at the moment, it sounded as if that should explain why he has not seen me, but I don't understand that.

One thing is surprising though: I would have thought that the pain would stay far longer, but it seems to be there only during the day, strange. I keep having nightmares, but they are getting better too. Maybe I'm a fast healer. I should be, maybe my body just has finally acquired some routine in dealing with all the blows my clumsy life keeps dealing it.

Jasper called today, finally, and he wants to see me. It was so good to hear his husky voice again, and I think I'll have to get used to the fact that the guy is at least as shy and inhibited as I am. I was a bit annoyed that I had already agreed to a visit from my school friends for the afternoon, but there was no way I could have reached them (they wanted to come over straight after school) and it would have been unforgivably rude to cancel with such short notice. So I'll have to wait another day to see Jasper again. Sigh. He didn't sound well.

Oh, yeah, and there is another problem: Billy and Jake are coming over tonight. As they phoned ahead, that doesn't really sound well either. Usually they just drop by, but this time they wanted to make sure we were there.

Later

Oh dear.

Of course the whole Black family visit was just an excuse. As soon as Billy and Charlie had settled in front of the TV, Jake wanted to question me on how I had gotten injured.

I tired to get out of that (didn't want to lie to Jake) and excused myself with being tired. I was absolutely speechless when Jake appeared in my room five minutes after I had come in.

"Hey!"

He quickly stepped forward and shoved the sleeves of my shirt up my arms, looking at my bruises with anger. "Right, which one of the leeches was it?"

"What?" Playing for time.

"Bella, I'm not buying the falling down the stairs story. You hang out with leeches, you're going to get hurt. So, what happened?"

"That's none of your business." I blushed, with anger and with shame. What did he think I was doing with the Cullens?

"Sorry, it is. We have a treaty with them, and they clearly overstepped the line here." He was shaking with anger and took a step backwards out of my reach. "What did they do? Was that some heavy petting with your Hale boyfriend or what? I thought you had seen reason and broken up with him?"

"Jake, it's ok. They have already dealt with it. And it has nothing to do with Jasper."

He snorted. "So are you telling me it was another one? Which? It's not up to them to decide what is right." He sniffed. "I thought you weren't seeing them anymore."

"It's my business who I see or don't see. Rosalie is my friend and Esme is a very nice person."

"Aha, and Hale is Romeo?"

"You've lost me."

"Did he try to sleep with you? Is that why you look so battered?"

"No, what are you talking about?"

Jake's whole body was tense, and he pressed the words out between gritted teeth. "I'm talking about the fact that your whole bed reeks of that warrior guy."

"Excuse me?" All the bedclothes were new – I had convinced Charlie that I wanted a change, and we had gone by the furnishing store on the way back from the hospital, so there could be no trace of vampire anywhere near my bed. Also I usually met Rose and Esme downstairs. Jake must have gotten up with the wrong foot that day. "What the hell are you on about?"

"Bella, you can't do that, he'll kill you. Think about Charlie!"

"I do, all the time, and for your information, I don't have a boyfriend, vampire or otherwise, who is staying in my bed. Now get out!"

"Bells, why are you lying to me? You got hurt, and I can tell you that a cracked rib and a broken arm is just the beginning. Paul is what you get next, and you don't heal as fast as we do. I know they spin you all sorts of rubbish to keep their precious existence secret, but we already know about them, and we care about you."

"Then behave like a gentleman and get out!" I was definitely fed up with my kindergarten friend.

He shrugged his shoulders and left. Soon I could hear his voice cheering on the game downstairs too and let out a breath of relief.

When the game was over it turned out that their scrapheap of a car wouldn't start, so Charlie offered to drive them back to La Push, and they left, singing team songs out of tune. I shook my head: Charlie and Billy behave like teenagers sometimes and it looks as if it's getting worse with age. At least Billy is not obsessing about the Cullens.

I went to brush my teeth and get ready for bed. When I returned to my bedroom a little later, I heard a noise that made my blood curdle: the sound of dogs growling and hisses and growls that I had last heard when the wolves had attacked Jasper in the meadow.


	33. Chapter 33

_***** another chapter *****_

_**** thanks for the reviews, you make my day ****_

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_***twilight belongs to SM***_

CH 33

**Bella's diary**

I looked out the window and saw a sight that almost stopped my heart: Jasper was right below my window, dressed all in black (like any good cat burglar), which made him look even hotter than usually. But he was surrounded by five wolves, which were closing in on him fast. I made a split second decision.

**Jasper's POV**

I had been keeping a distance to the Swan house that night to make sure I would not be spotted by the wolves, and after they had left with the Chief in the Cruiser I was just waiting for Bella to turn off her light, so that I could be with her, make her pain go away and inhale her sweet scent which still made me revel in human memories.

As soon as her room was dark, I came forward, but was ambushed in a way that had not happened since I had been human. I must have been preoccupied with looking forward to lying next to her and feeling her warmth, or I would have noticed the wolf smell. However, I did not, and now they obviously felt in the advantage. I sent out feelings of horror and despair, but that didn't work with the Quileutes in their wolf-shape. Only the smaller one whimpered, but the others growled at him to carry on. They were closing in on me. Fast. So I went into attack mode as well, preparing to take them down. I was not going without a fight, and this was going to be an ugly one.

Suddenly the window above us was opened, and I heard Bella's voice calling out to me.

"Jasper, catch me!"

Then she jumped. I caught her very carefully in order not to cause her pain and tried to put her behind me, but she squirmed and struggled. "No! Let me go!"

This only made the wolves angrier, and I thought the big russet one was going to jump any second, but Bella took a step toward the monster in a very determined way. "Don't you dare hurt him, Jacob Black, or I'll never ever talk to you again. You should all be ashamed for ganging up on one man with five of yours!"

The russet wolf stopped growling and looked to the huge black one for guidance, while I tried frantically to pull back Bella once more; she has no idea how volatile the control is that these beasts have over their temper.

The wolves were still growling, but at least they stopped moving.

"Bella, what the hell are you doing in this?" I whispered, trying to keep her safe behind me.

"Saving your life, you idiot. And you lot, get lost! Jake, have you any idea of the hours Charlie works? I know it must have been you who made sure your car wouldn't start, don't lie to me. Why would you make him drive out to La Push in the middle of the night, just so that you can have your little fight with Jasper?"

The russet wolf hung his head briefly, before it snapped up again. Apparently the alpha had given an order. In a fraction of a second I knew it was not retreat. I tensed, prepared to fight for Bella.

"Major, we got your back!" Peter's voice sounded out from behind the circle of wolves.

"Pete, for god's sake, be careful! Bella is in here with me!"

"I know, that's why I brought reinforcements. Let's see how well these dogs look against three of us."

I smelt Emmett with him and took a deep breath. The wolves growling had become louder at the mention of more vampires, who in turn started growling as well. The tension was so palpable, that you didn't need to be me to be overwhelmed by the intensity of the feeling. How the hell did we get into this kind of chaos?

Bella, broke free from my arms (I couldn't very well hold on to her without hurting her after all): "Stop this, right now, or I'm going to have a nervous breakdown, which you will have to explain to Charlie! Jake, stop this ridiculous fight, there is absolutely no need for anyone to get hurt here!"

I could see the wolves turning from Jacob – the russet one – to the big black one, then the smallest wolf disappeared and returned in human form.

I breathed out and called to Emmett and Peter to join me, but stand down for now. Obviously they wanted to have a parley of some sorts.

Peter and I exchanged a glance and a nod. We both agreed that the matter was not resolved yet: they had gotten their weakest link to phase in order to have maximum fighting power in case the talk didn't work out in their favour.

"Sam wants to know what is going on here", the boy who looked barely fifteen started.

I nodded to the black wolf and said: "I'm taking care of Bella. She doesn't seem to have a problem with that, so neither should you."

"Does your care involve hurting her? In that case I'm to remind you of the treaty."

"He didn't hurt me, will you get that in your stupid heads at some point?" Bella screamed at them. "That was his brother. Jasper got me out. Now will you leave him alone?"

The young men ignored her and spoke to me again. "I'm to tell you that the pack will take care that Bella is not hurt again by any of you."

Bella took a deep breath, but I put my hand on her arm. "Let me. As I told you once before, Bella is my mate. If you have any idea of the sort of person I am, you can trust me to keep her safe. I'll be doing that for as long as she doesn't send me away."

"Not good", Peter whispered to me when the wolves started growling louder at my statement. He and Emmett had entered the circle and were standing by my side and shielding Bella.

"I don't believe it", Bella was fuming behind us. "Men! If you're so desperately in need of a fight, why don't you go and play a few video-games? Seth, tell your friends I'm going inside now. I'm freezing. Jasper, if you want you, Emmett and whoever that is, can come along. Good night!"

She marched toward to where the wolves were blocking her way to the backdoor, but Seth caught her arm. Emmett hissed and I was about to pounce on him, when Peter pulled me back. "Wait!"

"Bella," the boy said. "You don't know that guy. He is a human drinker, you can't just take him inside."

Oh no, another complication. "I vouch for my friend. I know he doesn't stick to our lifestyle, but he's not feeding anywhere near here, we would never allow that. I've known Peter for more than a century, he knows what I'm capable of, and he wouldn't dream of going for Bella."

"Certainly not, Major. I like my body just the way it is", Peter chuckled.

When the wolves still didn't open their ranks to Bella, she turned on Seth and the russet wolf. "Oh please, come on. I'm getting cold here. Go home, the show is over!"

The black wolf seemed to have another conversation with his pack, then the russet disappeared and returned after phasing. "Compromise", he said. "I'm coming in too."

"Jake!" Bella exclaimed in a frustrated tone. I could see she was close to tears, but everything I could think of would probably make the wolves even angrier. I have never been called a diplomat.

Emmett shook his head. "Hey guys, I think Bella is about to fall on her face, she's so tired. Why don't we all give her some room to breathe? She has just come out of hospital after all. Peter, why don't you come back to the house with me?"

Peter looked to me for guidance. I nodded. "All right, never let it be said that I stayed where I was not wanted." He bowed to Bella in mock-gallantry. "Ma'am, Major, have a good night!" Then he left with Emmett.

"Bella? Are you sure about this?" Jacob asked, looking at her with such friendship that I could not doubt his good intentions. Thank god I had not hurt him, I was sure she would not have forgiven that.

"Yes, Jake. I trust Jasper with my life."

"I won't hurt her, Jacob", I added and they didn't stop us from going through the door. Once inside the kitchen, she was about to slide to the floor with the after-effects of the adrenaline surge. I caught her before she hit the linoleum though. "I'm not sure you should be walking, let me carry you upstairs and then get you some hot sweet tea."

I did not wait for her approval and simply went ahead. I was back with a mug of tea before she had gotten her words together. "I don't like hot tea."

"Bella, please drink this, you'll need it."

"Why?" She was obviously in her more stubborn mood.

"Because you might go into shock if you don't, and I don't think you want to go back to hospital."

"Mm", she grumbled, but complied. When she had finished half the tea, she looked up. "You have some explaining to do, Jasper Hale…"

"Whitlock", I corrected automatically. Being with her had brought back so many human memories that I was having a hard time to remember my alias.

"What?"

"My last name is Whitlock. Sorry, you were saying?" I smiled at her, and she shook her head, sighing.

"This is going to get difficult. I can't stay angry with you if you look at me like that."

"Like what?" I asked all innocence. We could do all the talking she wanted later, but for now I just needed her close.

She made an exasperated sound and ran her hand through my hair. I took the cup from her hand and kissed her. Finally.

We stayed close to each other until Bella heard the Cruiser pull up and tensed. "Charlie."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"As if his presence had stopped you being here the last two nights", she smirked and pointed to a spot behind the door. When her father looked in on her, she pretended to be asleep and he left quietly.

"Now, you can tell me what you've been doing here without my knowledge!" She said, patting the place next to her in her bed.

I didn't keep her waiting, and told her about trying to take her pain away. She hummed something that sounded like agreement or thanks and dropped off to sleep in my arms. Heaven!


	34. Chapter 34

_**** What I kept forgetting to tell you: it's just amazing the number of people who have added this story to their favourites and put it on alert – thank you very much! ****_

_**** Still don't own these characters, they belong to SM, but I've got some of my own **____** fictionpress, same author name ****_

Ch 34

Bella's diary

Waking up in Jasper's arms felt like I had been dreaming. His scent was out of this world, and I wondered how I could ever have missed that in my bed for the last two days. I purred and closed my eyes again, curling up even closer to his gorgeous body. This felt just wonderful! He was making appreciating noises as well, but suddenly he tensed and started a string of curses for which he apologised at once and pulled away from me.

"What is it? Did I hurt you?"

He snickered. "I'd like to see you try that as long as you're still human."

'Still human'? So he was thinking about changing me. "What then?"

A crooked smile. "Bella, I'm only a man, and the way you were getting close to me… I was about to lose control."

I didn't like not having him close to me. "Then do!" I pouted.

He shook his head. "No, not today. One, I could definitely hurt you in your battered state, and I don't think you need any more of this, two, Jacob Black is still outside, and if he got any hints about me trying to sleep with you here, he would get the law on me, i.e. Charlie. You're underage, and I'm sure they'd like nothing better at the moment than making things really awkward for us."

I sat up, confused. "Jake is still there? Why?"

"They wouldn't really leave you alone with me for the night. Maybe you should go out and talk to him for a minute." I shrugged and got up, but he stopped me. "Only please put on some clothes. I only have so much control."

I looked down at myself and blushed. Wonderful! Last night I had been shouting at the La Push youngsters wearing only sweat shorts and a very tight spaghetti top. No wonder they had all been staring.

"Ok, I'll better shower first, my feet are all dirty too."

He smiled again. "Well, it was you who insisted on jumping out your window and getting in between a vampire and werewolf fight last night. Go on, smarten up, I'll get you breakfast."

He kissed me on his way out, and when I came downstairs, he had some cereal and orange juice ready at my place.

"Thank you. I'll just get outside then and prevent you from being arrested."

"Be careful, he might not be in a good mood."

I frowned. "Jake is my friend, he is no more a danger to me than you are."

I found my friend just outside the back door. He was still only in a pair of cut-offs and scowling at me.

"Morning Jake", I started.

He grunted something. Oh dear, man in a bad morning mood.

"Want some breakfast?"

"Is the leech still there?"

"Yes", slightly exasperated. "He made the breakfast. As you can see I'm still in one piece."

"Sure, sure, but only because he knew I was still outside."

I groaned. "Jake, Jasper is a really nice guy, and I love him."

"Love what? He's dead, Bella!"

"He feels alive enough to me."

"He's a monster!" I raised an eyebrow at him. "Ok, he is dangerous."

"He says exactly the same about you."

Jake's dark intense eyes were on me with a serious and sad expression. "Bella, I don't want him near you, don't you understand?"

I gulped. Where had that complication come from? No one ever looked twice at me in Phoenix, and here things turned difficult whichever way I looked. I was still thinking about what to say when I suddenly felt Jasper next to me.

"What…?" I stopped when I looked into his eyes. They had become completely black, and the look he gave Jake would have made others disappear.

"She told you she's ok. Now leave us alone!" From between gritted teeth.

"Jasper", I put a hand on his arm, but Jake had already turned in a huff. "I'll call you, Bells." Going away, he looked over his shoulder and said. "We'll be watching you."

"Do that. Bye, Jake."

"What was that?" I demanded of Jasper, who had the grace to look down a little.

"I'm sorry, but I do tend to get quite territorial, and it has never mattered more." He hung his head. I messed up his hair and went through the door.

"Where the hell did that come from?" I exclaimed when we were inside again, me seated at the table and Jasper leaning against the kitchen counter.

"You didn't know?" He seemed surprised.

"Of course not. I would never have spent so much time with him had I known I was giving him false hopes or whatnot." I scrunched up my nose. "This is confusing."

He was next to me the next second kissing my hair. "You truly have no idea how adorable you are, do you?"

I shook my head, and we were silent for a while. After I had finished my breakfast I turned to Jasper. "Right, I still need to talk to you."

He tensed. "What about?" He sat down opposite me, somehow fitting his tall frame onto one of Charlie's kitchen chairs. His whole figure, the coolest man in black, was so incongruous with the very real kitchen surroundings that I almost started laughing, but I had some urgent things to clear up here.

"Jasper, I can't go through this again. I need you to talk to me, not decide on your own that you might be too dangerous to me and drop of the map. You're telling me I'm your life one minute, then ignore me the next."

He looked pained. "Bella, I've caused so much harm and heartbreak in my long existence…"

"I know, or at least I can guess, but I want us to be partners, and partners talk to each other. You can't decide for me, and you can't think for me either, no matter how much older you are."

"I'm just scared I'll… overwhelm you with all this and with my need of you, I… don't even know how to ask you the question that is foremost in my mind when I think of us…"

"Why don't you just ask it?"

He sighed. "How can I when I've shown myself to be completely untrustworthy in the last three weeks? You said you wanted a clean cut from the vampire world, and that would probably be best for you. Jacob loves you, and the Newton guy is also interested…" He wasn't looking at me, but I could feel his pain at the idea of me being with someone else, and I also knew he had been on the brink of having himself killed so he would not have to deal with that.

"Jasper, I love you, I jumped out my window last night because I was worried someone might hurt you." Then something registered. "Did Rosalie tell you about the talk we had?"

"No, I…" he sighed. "Bella, this probably sounds horribly creepy, but I could not stand to be away from you, I only left you alone when I went to feed. That's why I wasn't here in time to save you…" His fists were clenched at the memory of Edward's attack.

I reached out and touched them gently. "Carlisle said I was bleeding when you came in, but you didn't even notice. He thinks you really can't hurt me."

"Yes, but you're still going to think of Edward when I touch you like that."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because I'm as cold as him. That's what happened when you were in hospital." His voice was choked, and his eyes followed his hands tracing some invisible pattern on the old wooden table.

"I wasn't even awake then, whenever that was. Jasper, what Edward did was not a vampire thing, it could as well have been some thug in town or anywhere. Besides, I like having you near me, like this morning, remember?"

He looked up from under his amazing long lashes. "You still want me near?" He sounded incredulous.

"Yes, I do. I felt… incomplete these last few weeks."

I found myself in his arms the next second. "I don't know what you see in me, Bella, but I don't want this to change." He held me at a little distance so he could gauge my reaction. "Would you consider being with me for the rest of a very long life? I'm just asking you to think about it, I'll explain everything to you, and you don't have to say anything until you've had time to make up your mind…"

Was he proposing? "Jasper, I …"

"Just tell me what you feel!"

"Yes. I can't imagine a life without you anymore."

He closed his eyes for a whole minute, then pulled me close. "Thank you, darlin', you just made me the happiest man in the world."

_**So, finally they're together. Stay tuned for the next developments and don't forget to leave feedback!**_


	35. Chapter 35

_**** Sorry, folks, I had a bad case of writer's block, which hopefully is gone by now ****_

_**** keep up the good work of reviewing, and especially if you're reading my original fiction at fictionpress, leave me some feedback**_

_***still don't own twilight and its characters***_

CH 35

Jasper's POV

I cannot describe how happy I felt when Bella said she needed me in her life, that she felt about me the way I felt about her. I felt invincible; convinced I could handle everything as long as she was with me. Obviously I haven't talked about all the practicalities involved with that decision; I don't think she's ready to leave her parents yet, and who am I to push her, we've got all the time in the world. Not even the fact that Jacob had feelings for her as well as the advantage of having her known longer than I could dampen my mood, consequently the next two weeks were pure bliss: We were separated only during the lessons at school and when she was having dinner with her dad. Chief Swan was not aware that I was spending the nights at his daughter's bedroom, usually with a spare set of clothes for the next day.

After the two weeks however, I found out that the wolves were indeed keeping a close watch on her: Jacob invited Bella over to the reservation for a Powwow on Saturday night and made sure that she would come by insinuating that he would tell on me to her dad.

We had been talking about it several times, but on Friday things came to a point.

"Jasper, it's just one evening at the reservation", she said for the fifth time.

"Yes, and they're going to pour all the poison they have into you while I'm unable to do a thing to prevent Jacob from getting his hands all over you", I kicked her bed for emphasis, and it made a creaking noise.

Bella took a deep breath. "Don't break my furniture, will you?" She came to me and messed up my hair. "Hey, you need to trust me. I love you, not anyone else, and I'll be looking forward to coming back to you."

I growled, at which she stepped back quickly. "Sorry", I apologised. "It's just that those youngsters don't always know what they're doing, they're all of what? Sixteen? Seventeen?"

"Eh? Like me?"

"You're grown for your age!"

"Jasper, I knew them before this wolf thing started, they're fun to be with. You don't know them. Jake is actually the closest I had to a brother before Emmett."

I snorted. "They have no idea of the kind of mayhem they can cause when they're in their wolf form, and you're the most precious person I have..."

Bella's gaze was fixed on my eyes, and it appeared that she had not really been listening to me. "Jasper, your eyes are all black, there are deep purple shadows under them. Are you hungry?"

I looked pained. "Yes, I…"

"Have you been starving yourself? Why would you do that?"

"I didn't want to leave you alone with the wolves so close, and Laurent also is not safe for you." Laurent was the reason we were spending our time together at her house. Rosalie and Emmett were not happy about that, neither was Esme, but there was no way I would get Bella close to Laurent.

"You poor thing", Bella commiserated. "Know what? I'll go to the reservation on Saturday. If I understood you right, I'm absolutely safe from vampires there. The boys won't do anything reckless, not with all the elders that close, there is a culture of respect important to them that way. So you can go and feed in peace, and we'll meet in a better mood on Sunday, mm?" She smiled at me, and I shook my head. "Bella, you're devious. I'll be back late Saturday night, ok?" She nodded.

I saw her off to the boundary where I left her truck and ran to my car to drive to the National Park once again. She was right, I needed to feed desperately, or I would run the risk of losing control in a big way – not an option with her so close to me most of the time. Of course she was also right in that I needed to trust her not to go cheating on me with Jacob. I sighed. That was not my problem here, but how could I tell her what had happened a week ago with Alice?

Charlie was taking Bella out to the diner for dinner that night. I had been pestered by Rosalie and the others about bringing Bella back to the house for the weekend. "Come on, Jazz, we could have a movie night or play a board game or whatever. We need to find something to get Esme in a better mood. She has been packing up Edward's things all week and you've seen the state she's in for yourself."

"Yes," Charlotte added. "I've been offering help, but she wants to do it alone, I think she sees it as some sort of grieving or something. Jasper, give her some fun. Get Bella here. I've barely seen her yet."

"I can't. Laurent will…"

"Laurent will be out with Alice. Be a good brother, share her!"

As soon as the pixie heard what we were discussing, she breezed in and turned on me. "Don't you even think about it!"

I blinked. "But Alice, if you're out it should be ok, shouldn't it?"

"Alice, have a heart", Emmett said. "He can hardly do it with her father sleeping next door."

Rosalie slapped him, but he only grinned. "Just saying…"

Peter nodded with a crooked grin. "I'm with you there, my vegetarian friend."

Not that I hadn't been thinking about the same thing myself, but it was no use. "I could make sure that her scent doesn't stay", I offered, but Alice's expression didn't change.

"Alice", Rose said frowning, "Come on, it's not like you to deny someone their pleasure. It's not as if you were living like a hermit."

Alice snorted. "For all I care, Jasper can do what he wants with the human. He's not going to keep her anyway." She turned and was almost up the stairs before any of us reacted.

"What?" We bellowed in unison.

She shrugged.

I caught her arm. "Alice, what have you seen?"

"Let go!"

I raised my eyebrow, and she gave in. "Laurent's going to turn her, and she'll end up with Edward, is what I've seen. Now let me go!"

I was staring at her, still holding on to her arm. "Where? When? I need details to stop that."

She squirmed in order to get free, but my hand encircled her arm like iron.

Peter was with me. "Talk! Now!"

"Jasper", Emmett said, looking from me to Peter. "You can't do that."

Suddenly a growl came from above us, low and feral. Laurent.

I knew he was going to fight me to the death, I was threatening his mate, and he had at least a hundred years on me. So I let go of her arm, making sure she got the message that I'd be talking to her again about what she had seen.

Alice disappeared with Laurent in her room and was not seen again that evening. She has been avoiding me ever since, and all I've got is what she said, which I found quite disconcerting, but without more information there's not a lot I can do to prevent that.


	36. Chapter 36

_****OK, this took a little longer too, but here it is… TADA! … the new chapter!**__******_

_***** still don't own anything *****_

Ch 36

**Bella's diary**

Being with Jasper would be absolutely wonderful if it weren't for two things: One, we can't spend time at the Cullens' house because he says that it would be too dangerous with Laurent having tasted my blood (hence our time alone is hampered by the fact that my dad is sleeping next door and you don't need vampire hearing to be aware of that. Plus, I can't really meet the rest of the family whom I miss as well, and I only know Jasper's friends by hearsay), and two, Jasper keeps going on about Jake being dangerous almost as much as Jake about Jasper.

At least I've managed to get Jasper not to completely freak out when I went to La Push on Saturday. It was the invitation of a lifetime, Jake had assured me, and so had Charlie. Damn, I think he would like the idea of me and Jake, too. Anyway, I worked during the day and later Jasper saw me off at the 'boundary' as he calls it, and then left to feed. The poor darling has been starving himself because he didn't want to leave me alone, which is nice of him, I can't bear him away from me either, but he needs to eat.

Jake had a broad grin plastered all over his face when he saw me coming, but I dealt with that as soon as Charlie was out of hearing range. "Stop that! The invitation would have been perfectly alright without the blackmail."

"Sure, sure, the leech would have let you come to visit us", he sneered.

"Well, he has", I retorted with more force than necessary.

Jake's grin did not fade. "Yea, because he needed you to stay mum about him, didn't he?"

"Jake, don't spoil this, I'm so excited", I said, hoping that for once the discussion on who was the more dangerous species would disappear.

He slipped his arm through mine and took me along to the beach where the others had already started a bonfire and were roasting sausages and marshmallows. We sat around the fire eating and chatting until Billy cleared his throat. That was the signal that the council meeting would begin. I had checked who was there and was not too surprised when I found all the wolves present as well as their parents. Charlie was sitting with Harry and looked out of place and very sceptical as Billy began telling ancient stories about how the Quileutes were descended from wolves, how they had been changing through the ages, and how their wolf nature had come in handy at their confrontation with the 'Cold Ones'. I shuddered at the description he gave of the vampires' conduct in the village and the way the Indians had managed to kill them. Even though I knew full well that Jasper was strong and could not easily be intimidated, the idea of him being hurt scared me horribly.

The atmosphere at the bonfire was full of magic, and it looked as if even Charlie could not wholly shake of the allure of those stories, no matter how much he scoffed about them after we had come back home.

I took a glass of milk and told him I'd go to bed, to which he grunted that he'd be up in a while and switched on he TV. He would be asleep on the sofa in less than ten minutes I knew, but that was just Charlie's way.

Jasper was already sitting on my bed when I came in. He flitted over to me, wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my hair. "I can't bear to have you gone."

"Neither can I", I said to his chest, then rose on tiptoes to kiss his nose and tousle his hair. He looked even more gorgeous than usually, must be the recent meal, and he was in his dark blue shirt which I liked a lot. When I continued with his lips he made a growling sound that I'd come to recognise as his way of saying he wanted me closer and got us to the bed for a more comprehensive cuddling session. Some time into that I managed to whisper "Charlie" breathlessly, and he pulled back groaning.

"Sorry", I apologised in a small voice.

He shook his head. "No, I know, I heard his heartbeat. Only my selfish emotional side was hoping that he'd stayed with his friend at the reservation…"

"Maybe they'll go for a longer fishing trip soon", I said without much hope: Since the day of Edward's attack Charlie had never left me alone in the house after dark. He was still blaming himself for what he thought of as my accident.

"Do you think he would let you go away for a weekend with me?"

"You must be out of your mind!" While Charlie had no longer a problem with Jasper being my boyfriend, he was still very much a dad who liked to keep his daughter on a short leash, especially if a very attractive 19 year-old man was involved.

"What if it was for a good cause?" Jasper's eyes were sparkling.

"What are you on about?"

"Well, Carlisle is organizing a fundraiser for a children's cancer charity in Seattle with a few colleagues, and he usually takes us along to things like that to add a little glamour. So, if you were to agree to an evening of dining out and just a little dancing… with me…"

I found myself whining. "Jasper!" Some official sort of gathering, probably full of important people in very dressy clothes and shoes – the perfect opportunity for someone like me to crash into the buffet or something similarly silly. I was about to tell him exactly what I thought of myself in the context of such events when a thought came to me.

Jasper was unaware of my thoughts and went on. "Carlisle or Esme would certainly be able to talk Charlie round to letting you come, and I would make sure that the girls won't go over the top on your outfit, and that you won't have to dance too much, but we usually rent some rooms in a hotel afterwards…"

Aha, I thought, Jasper has this planned already. Well, Major, wait and see, I can do my own strategising too. "What about Laurent?"

He shook his head. "He won't be able to come, too many people. Neither will Charlotte and Peter, Carlisle asked them, but they said they wanted to spend the weekend in Portland."

I took a deep breath, knowing they would be killing humans there. No matter how much I liked Peter from the few times I'd seen him, and Charlotte from what Jasper told me about her, their lifestyle made me shudder.

Jasper put his arm around me. "Will you come with me?"

"If Charlie allows it, yes, but I have one condition."

He frowned. "Condition?"

"Mm. I want you and Emmett to come over and watch the game with us on Wednesday."

He was still frowning. "But you don't usually watch sports, Bella."

"I know, but I will on Wednesday."

He shrugged. "If you're sure Charlie is ok with that, why not. You're not telling me what you're up to, are you?"

"Nope! It's for a good cause, too."

**Jasper's POV**

Bella was smiling at me with that determined expression which I recognised. I would not find out what she was planning. Oh well, if it guaranteed me a weekend with her in Seattle, away from my home worries, I would have gone to Catholic Mass if required.

I had still not managed to get anything out of Alice about her vision, and not only Peter was having bad feelings about that. Honestly, at the moment I think no one but Esme would have minded if she and Laurent would have taken themselves off. They had of course taken notice of the mood and were busy planning weekend getaways, and Alice had gotten Carlisle to make sure that the school transferred her to Seniors (she had credits galore after all), so that she could graduate sooner – she was obviously planning on leaving Forks earlier now that she was with Laurent. The change however meant that she was sharing classes with Rosalie, Emmett and me, and had nowhere to run while we pestered her about that vision.

Rosalie was really impatient now, and it was her who had come up with the idea of Bella coming along to the Seattle stunt. "At least I get to see a real friend there for a while", she had grumbled in the last period.

"Let me ask her first", I warned. Bella was definitely not enthusiastic about these things, and had been bored almost out of her mind by all the chatter about the Spring Dance in the weeks after. At least Mike Newton was sort of out of the picture since then: He had gone with that Jessica girl and they were almost joined at the hip by now.

So now Bella wanted me to fraternise with her dad about baseball. OK. But why Emmett? I'm sure he is game for it, he is always open for new things, but the reason still evades me. When I asked her if I should bring Rosalie too, she grinned and said yes. "The more the merrier." This girl is full of surprises.


	37. Chapter 37

_**** I had a lot of inspiration for this chapter from Hissy**__** (**_.net/u/2765736/ )_** – thanks a lot, you're full of good ideas, and I hope you like what I made of them **____** ****_

_***** still don't own the characters *****_

_**** do own an awful punctuation in English, sorry! (or as I've just found in Monaldo&Sorti's 'Salai': "Some of you might think I've left out a few commas and semicolons, well, here they are, so put them in where you will!" ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ****_

Ch 37

Bella's diary

Sunday was slow, but I managed to get out for what was officially a walk with Jasper, unofficially he carried me to our meadow on his back, and we had another picnic, this time without interruptions. He had brought his guitar as well, and I enjoyed him singing to me so much that I almost purred.

"You're adorable", he said after putting the instrument down.

"I'm not", I scrunched up my nose. "What the hell will I wear to that fundraiser thing?"

"Oh…", he was playing with my hair, "we could go out together and buy something."

"You want to go clothes-shopping with me?" Even with my limited experience I was sure that that was most definitely not a guy thing to do.

"Sure, why not?" He seemed surprised. "I could drive us to Olympia Friday afternoon, and we could browse the shops there."

"Jasper, I don't have a lot of…"

"Don't you go insulting me now, darlin', and talk about money. I won't let you dig into your college fund for my pleasure, and besides, I have enough. Would you like Rosalie along?"

"Yes, we could ask Emmett too, and I could see them again outside school, that would be nice!" I felt relieved, sure that if Emmett was along, the clothes shopping wouldn't go on for too long. And… if we didn't find anything, I could maybe sneak out of the dance…

"No, you're not", Jasper smirked.

"How?"

"Empath", he said with a crooked grin. "Come on, Bella, let me spoil you and dress you up. I'm not set to make you feel uncomfortable, but I think you have no idea what you could look like if you made an effort. Besides, it's part of being with the Cullens."

"But you're still keeping your end of the bargain?"

"Of course, I'm a man, sorry, vampire of honour." He started kissing me again.

"You will get me grounded if we're not back in time for Charlie's dinner."

"I know", he sighed. "But at least he seems to like me a little better now."

"Hm-m, let's wait what he says to our Seattle plans."

Jasper got me back just in time and as usual left until I got back to my room.

Charlie was in a strange mood during dinner, so I asked what the matter was.

"Oh, nothing really, Bells, it's just that all those stories of Billy keep going round and round in my head, and I don't know what to do about that. I even had nightmares about them, would you believe that?"

"Nightmares?"

"Yes. Why the hell was he going on about all those horrors anyway? I kept getting the impression that he was dead serious about them, almost as if he believed them word for word."

"Maybe he does." I tried not to show how uneasy all this was making me. For all I knew that might be exactly what Jake had intended by the invitation. "Tribal traditions are a big thing with the Quileute, even with the youngsters."

"Yes, but come on, Bells, wolves and blood-sucking monsters? Were they having us on?" He ate in silence for a while, but I could tell he was still deep in thought. He had not gone to La Push that day, but back to his office.

"There is another strange thing though, Bella", he said after a while.

One? The understatement of the decade! "What are you thinking of?"

"Well, I went back to the files on those bear victims we had some weeks ago."

Damn it, Jacob! "Why would you do that?"

He shrugged, clearly uneasy with his own reasoning. "I don't know, something about the stories kept nagging at me. Anyway, I rechecked the autopsy report, the description of the wounds etc, and, well, I don't believe in these things myself, but if I did, I'd say that those people had met some of the Cold Ones. Their throats were all but ripped out, and we found bite wounds too small for a grizzly. Besides, they were really bled out." He forced a chuckle and I joined in. Then he became sober again. "Sorry, Bells, didn't mean to bring the job home with me."

"Don't worry, Dad, I can handle it." Could I? I wasn't sure, but I wanted to keep the tone light here. "Put out a warrant for Count Dracula yet?"

"No, but I think I'm going to talk to Doc Cullen again."

"You do that. Desert?" I got up and gathered the dishes.

"No thanks. Need help with that?"

I shook my head. "No, you go and watch the game. I'll be upstairs after I'm done with these."

After I had entered the kitchen, I breathed out quietly. If he did as he had said, I'm sure that Carlisle could somehow put his suspicions to rest. He must have encountered that kind of problem before in his long life.

About the Seattle thing I had decided that I would leave it up to Carlisle and Esme to talk to Charlie, relying on their persuasive powers as Jasper had suggested. Besides, I wanted to make sure that Wednesday was still on.

Jasper's POV

When I came back Monday morning to change and get my school things, the atmosphere in the house was thick with negative feelings. I found Peter in my room, being nursed by Charlotte for a bite wound, and was about to lose it when he called me back. "It's ok, Major, it was my fault."

"Who was that?" I spit, my temper already boiling.

"Laurent", Charlotte mouthed while her husband shook his head.

I turned on the spot and went looking for the newest member of the Cullen clan, who seemed to have a very strange idea of how to treat your guests: first he had attacked Bella, now my best friend. On my way out I heard Char shushing Peter, telling him that that really was my call and he needed rest.

I did not have far to go in my search. As soon as I reached the living room, Laurent was close to me. "Back off from Alice", he hissed, his eyes pitch-black.

"Don't be stupid. I've lived with her for fifty years; she can defend herself quite well. Besides, she obviously has information that the family needs to protect Bella…"

"I'm not interested in protecting your human; I'm taking care of my mate. You might want to step back." His stance left little doubt as to his willingness to fight, yet I still had an ace up my sleeve.

"Why?" I asked sarcastically. "Will you attack me too otherwise? Are you really sure about that?"

"Boys!" Esme had come into the room, Carlisle on her heels.

Laurent was so close to me that he could whisper into my ear under his breath. "I'm not fighting you here, but if you don't make sure there is no more pestering of Alice, you might find me in your way at your human's house. Is that understood?"

"Don't even think of hurting Bella", I growled back quietly, but nodded. Damnit, this whole thing was getting more and more complicated, and I didn't feel like talking to Carlisle about it and seriously putting Alice and Laurent leaving up to a vote. I did what I had come for and joined the others for the ride to school. Alice was going on her own and had already left.

"And?" Rosalie had been out hunting with Esme and was curious about Bella's answer for Seattle.

"Yes, she's coming. Are you free to go shopping on Friday?"

"Of course, let me take her to Olympia, I know just the place for her." Her eyes lit up with enthusiasm.

"Rose, she's not really into fashion", I tried to calm her down.

"Nonsense, she'll like that place."

"Hm-m. She suggested we make it a double date with Emmett. You fine with that?"

"Sure, looking forward to it."

"Erm, eh, there is a slight hitch to that…"

"Aha?"

I told them about the condition.

"What's she up to now?" Rosalie wondered.

"I have no idea, maybe she wants to involve Charlie a bit more in her life and make him easier on us, but she's pretty stubborn."

Emmett grinned. "You can say that again. Alright, I'm in. Carlisle's always saying we need to mix with the town's people anyway and who better than the Chief, eh?"

"Yes, of course, especially as we're about to steal his daughter", Rose commented. "Em, he is a real nice man."

"At least, we'll find a way to make it easy, and I think we really need to wait for changing her until after graduation, so we can leave at the same time." We had been going round that bend a few times already.

"Can't she graduate earlier like Alice?" Rose asked. "I bet that Biology project alone should have given her enough credits."

Banner had returned the project to her last week, and he had been full of praise. The only thing he regretted was that he could not give Edward his credits, too. I sighed. "I've been down that road too, but I'm not sure she's ready. I'll talk to her about it after Seattle."

Emmett high-fived me as we were getting out at the school. "Good for you, bro!" Then he suddenly stopped and stared. Alice was waiting for us near the main door, a broad grin all over her face.

I took a deep breath. "She's seen something again, and she will not tell us what. Damn pixie!"


	38. Chapter 38

_**** thanks for all the reviews, you're lovely, keep up the good work! ****_

_***** still don't own twilight *****_

Ch 38

Bella's diary

Phew! Charlie talked with Carlisle about the hikers, and Carlisle reassured him, that the findings about the grizzly were correct. It seems he also told him that the bear's unusual tooth form meant that the animal probably was in pain, hence the vicious attack. At least that sounded much more convincing to Charlie than the vampires of the Quileute stories.

Jasper and I went for a walk after school yesterday and met with his friends. Finally I got to know Charlotte too. She's really nice and fun to be with, and Peter is a riot. It turned out though that they were about to leave – things are quite strained at the Cullens' house at the moment, Jasper said, and when I asked Rosalie on the phone she told me about a fight between Peter and Laurent as well as their problem about Alice having visions which she is not sharing. It sounded as if they wouldn't be too sad to see the back both of Alice and Laurent, and I have to admit, I feel the same. I really like the others, but the thought of having Laurent and Alice in my family does give me the creeps right now, which is another reason why I don't want to attempt graduating earlier as Rose suggested: then I would be with Alice in classes again, which somehow I don't like.

Esme got me permission to go to Seattle on the weekend, so now I'll have to go, but Rose promised she would find me something comfortable to wear and would also help me on the night. She is a good friend, and I think she will make me comfortable at the event.

Oh, have to remember to cancel working at the Newtons'. I hope they are ok with that; I don't want to lose my job there. At last the problem of Mike is solved though, he is with Jessica – hooray – and both are happy.

Jasper's POV

Of course, Alice said nothing, and with Laurent's threat to Bella's life, there was not a lot I could do about it. At least she claims it has nothing to do with Laurent or the nomads either.

Esme was over the moon at the idea of Bella accompanying us to Seattle and booked another room for the two of us. She and Carlisle will be going earlier, it's their anniversary on Friday, and so she has some surprise planned for him. From the look on her face it must be something really special, and she's such a dear, I think Carlisle will not be able to not like whatever she has organised. Now that she has sent the last of the boxes with Edward's things off to Alaska, she seems almost back to normal, and I think she's already dreaming about life with Bella as her new daughter too. She called Charlie and talked him into letting Bella come without a problem. I doubt people could deny her anything during her lifetime.

On Wednesday Emmett, Rosalie and I showed up at the Swan house in time for the game and curios up to the hilt. The back of my mind had registered a familiar car parked close, but had not made the connection, so I was a flabbergasted as the others when I came in and found the Blacks and another of the Quileute youngsters already sitting in the living room. Rosalie took a breath and almost turned around, but Emmett pulled her back, whispering "Seattle" so quietly that only we could hear it.

Bella, whose face was a bit tense, made the introductions and we all found seats. Soon the game was on, and everybody was watching.

When Bella got up after a while to get some nuts and beers for her father and Billy Black, I followed her into the kitchen, which Emmett commented by "Keep whistling, the two of you!" The other boy cheered and I heard some hand-clapping.

I pointed back to the door and asked Bella. "What's that?"

Her face broke into a wide grin. "That is my condition."

"I know, but what is your plan?"

"That's simple: You all keep talking about each other without knowing more than that they are wolves and you are vampires, but, well, that's not all you are. So I thought I'd get you together for an evening and see what happens."

"What could very easily happen is that one of them flips and we end up fighting", I said sceptically.

She shook her head. "They said the same about you, and they obviously also said that they would never be the ones starting it. So if you're both right about your own behaviour, we could have a civilised evening. Besides, I'm really fed up with all this name-calling."

There was some logic to her argument I had to admit. "How did you get them to come?"

She shrugged. "I said it was the condition to me visiting La Push the next few weeks."

"And you're sure they trust us?"

"No, they don't. Apparently the rest of the pack is outside, but that doesn't need to be important if you all stay nice." The last came with a smile that was guaranteed to get me to agree to anything.

I helped Bella carry the stuff back to the room and almost dropped the beer cans when I found Emmett and Seth talking baseball with Charlie and Billy joining in.

Jacob was scowling at me, but then he took a hint from Bella and defrosted slightly. In the break, he called out to Rosalie. "Hey, Blondie, Bella says you know about cars."

"That's right, oh brave warrior", Rose grinned back. "I hear you're trying to build your own. Getting anywhere with that?"

Jacob shook his head from side to side. It was clear he still didn't believe in the Rose-as-a-mechanic story and wanted to catch her out. "So-so. You wouldn't happen to know where I can get a distributor head for a 1983 rabbit?"

"What model?" she asked back at once, "I could call my friend at the Port Angeles scrap yard, and he said he had some parts coming in next week. I asked him about BMW, but it's quite likely he'll get some VW too."

Jacob blinked. "I thought Bella was pulling my leg about you." Then he came over and they started talking cars, which they didn't even stop when the match was on again.

Bella smiled at me, and I had to admit that both Blacks seemed very nice, and Seth is simply too cute to be allowed.

Everybody left right after the game – school night – with a slightly surreal feeling.

"Who would have thought that?" Emmett said.

I shrugged. "Bella kept telling me, but I didn't believe it." I knew though in my heart, that no matter how friendly Jacob had been to Emmett and Rosalie, he still hated me with a vengeance for taking Bella from him. Had I known what was to come down on us in the future, I would have enjoyed that last peaceful evening more.

_**A/N: Phew, done. Somehow this chapter proved to be complicated, and what I really wanted to write was what's coming after, but now it's done. Tell me what you think!**_


	39. Chapter 39

***** don't own twilight, do own however six vampire novels of my own which are desperately looking for an agent/publisher *****

**** thanks for the reviews for the last chapter, you really made me write faster ****

Ch 39

Jasper's POV

The weather forecast had been sunny for the next two days – something I had come to dread, because I couldn't be at school with Bella, and with Laurent threatening her, that did not make me easy. However, it meant that I could see Peter and Charlotte off to the airport myself. They had booked a flight to Houston – Peter claimed he was getting homesick, but I knew that in effect they just wanted to make things easier for me, now that they had seen how much good the Cullen lifestyle was doing me. "I do so hope that you get to change Bella soon", Charlotte told me when she was hugging me good-bye at the airport. "Please come to see us as soon as possible after."

"We will", I promised.

"Are you sure you'll be ok?" Peter worried.

"Yeah, Alice and Laurent will are leaving for their retreat in western Ontario in an hour, and they said they would not be back before Tuesday, which gives me some time to relax and think about what I will tell Carlisle about them." I had made up my mind to put the thing to a vote, but after the fundraiser in order not to spoil my 'parents'' good mood with the prospect of losing another one of their 'children'. "Take care of Charlotte."

"Will do, Major. And you holler if I'm needed."

"You can trust me, I will, but you're usually faster than me there."

"Like I said, you can't really be on your own. At least Bella will sort you out on that. Bye!"

They disappeared through the gate arm in arm. I stayed watching a while, inwardly rejoicing that soon I'd have a mate like Peter had as well. Then I drove back to Fork to be in time when Bella got out of school.

When I arrived at the house, neither Esme nor Carlisle was there (Esme's charity meetings took place on Thursdays, and Carlisle was working), and Alice and Laurent had already left. In their room I could hear that Emmett and Rosalie were using the free time in their specific way. Their feelings were enough to almost throw me back out. I turned in the doorway and was about to close the door behind me, when I heard the telephone ring. I waited three rings, but it was obvious that they were too preoccupied to answer. Thinking it might be Carlisle or Esme with some last minute chore for us, I tiptoed back in and picked up. "Yes?"

"Hi, is that you, Jasper?" A smoky seductive voice at the other end.

"Tanya?" I shook my head. The Alaskan vampire could seduce with her voice alone – not that she would ever have to rely on that.

"Yes. Jasper, I'm… wait! Where are my manners? How are you all?"

"Fine, great actually, we'll be going to one of Carlisle's events in two days, and I'm going to take my new woman along." I was sure either Esme or Edward had already told them about Alice and me splitting up and about Bella.

Apparently I was right. "Oh, yes, congratulations. Will we be invited for a wedding?" The Denalis loved weddings.

"As soon as I've asked her, I promise. Did you want to speak to Esme?" The two women were good friends.

"I… well, that would be good, if she's in…"

"She isn't, sorry; can I take down a message?" I got hold of a pen and paper.

"Maybe you can help me. Jasper, what am I to do with all these boxes addressed to Edward?"

I felt a tingle along my spine. "Well, give them to him. Carlisle asked him to leave our coven, and I'm sure he'll want his stuff."

"Carlisle did what? Oh my god!"

Something was deeply wrong with this picture. "Tanya, didn't Edward come to see you?"

"Yes, he did some weeks ago, but…"

"Well, he won't be coming back here. There… he hurt my mate." Tanya would understand that, even though she was utterly besotted with Edward.

"Oh dear, that's not good. Where would he go?"

"What are you saying?" Fear crept on me.

"He stayed here for a bit over a week, but then he left. I assumed that he wanted to go back to you… That's why I don't know what to do with his boxes."

My mind went into overdrive, and I must have forgotten I was still on the phone, because after a while Tanya cleared her throat. "Jasper, are you still there?"

"Yes, thank you. I will talk to Carlisle about it. Please keep the boxes for now until we decide what to do." Room was not a problem after all in their spacious compound.

"OK. Tell them "happy anniversary" from me. Bye, Jasper."

I hung up before she had finished and called out to Emmett and Rosalie.

"Damnit, Jasper", Emmett appeared down the stairs. "What is it?"

"Edward has gone AWOL." I knew my voice sounded as empty as I felt, but Emmett didn't get my meaning and looked clueless, scratching his head in that endearing Hillbilly gesture which had survived his change.

"What are you saying?" Rosalie dressed in nothing but a pale pink satin robe sat down on the stairs next to him.

I told them what Tanya had just informed me of. "Now what? Where the hell is he? Should I talk to Carlisle?"

"I think that might be best", Rosalie agreed after thinking about it for a moment. "He knows him best; he'll probably just phone him and find out what's going on. Don't tell Esme!"

"I won't be the one to spoil her big day, don't worry", I said, already dialling Carlisle's number.

Even though I knew that it was completely irrational, the sound of his voice alone served to calm me down a little. I told him about the news, and he let me finish, then thought about what he had just heard. "I know it sounds strange, but, Jasper, he might just have taken off. He did that once before when he and I quarrelled, he left for several years then."

"So you think there's nothing to worry?" I wasn't that sure myself.

"No, I have to admit that I do worry, but I'm sure you can keep Bella safe."

So he had been thinking along the same lines as I had. "I will. Carlisle, if he hurts her again…"

He sighed. "I know. Let's just pray he has decided to see Europe or visit South America, shall we?"

"There's nothing for it", I agreed. "I gotta go. Bye!"

I dashed out and was at the school just in time to be sure Bella got back home safe. Emmett had assured me he would check the vicinity for Edward's scent, and Rosalie was going to check if he had left the country. I had given her Jenks' number, so she would know if he had gotten new papers. For the first time that day, I wasn't happy that Alice had left. We all had become to depend on her visions to such an extent, that without that advantage we felt stumped. I shook my head: So that was what being like normal people felt like again.

I was nervous and jumpy all evening, but I didn't want to worry Bella with the news. After all, it might be as Carlisle said, and why should I get her all worked up when my idiot ex-brother had just gone to enjoy the museums of Europe.

I must have been deep in thought, because the next thing I knew was that my angel's voice shook me out of my reverie. "Jasper Whitlock, do you remember what you promised me?" Bella was standing in front of me, hands on her hips, fuming. She looked extremely sexy that way, but for once, I was not enjoying that.

"What?" I asked lamely.

"You can't tell me you're not worried. What's going on?"

"We have… mislaid Edward it seems", I quipped, trying to keep the tone light – no success. Bella's eyes were round at once, and I felt her fear hit me like a punch in the stomach. "Bella, don't you worry about it. We have it under control. Emmett and Rosalie are looking for him, and Carlisle thinks he might have left the country for a while. He has done that before." I could tell that she was still tense and embraced her. "He won't hurt you again. I won't let him, and your wolf guardians won't let him near you either, I bet."

"You could be right", she said slowly, "Jake said they were looking out for me. He likes Emmett and Rosalie, by the way."

I chuckled; glad she had changed the topic. She still hadn't calmed down, but I could help her with that. "I know, but he still hates me."

She shrugged. "There's nothing I can do about that, but Seth adores you. Jake said he's driving everybody mad with thinking about all the cool Civil War stuff he's going to ask you about the next time he sees you."

"Goodness, another history freak." I kept the conversation light and only checked my phone for messages from Rosalie when she wasn't looking. Nothing so far. Nothing from Emmett either. I texted Carlisle, but he hadn't heard from his son since he had texted him two hours ago.

What the hell was Edward up to?


	40. Chapter 40

_**Getting 'slightly' annoyed with the fact that I've not been able to upload for more than four days now and had no answer from support I'm trying this new route. Hope it works!**_

_**** thanks for all the new adds – you're amazing! ****_

_***** twilight belongs not to me, but to SM *****_

_**** some more action, hope you'll enjoy it ****_

Ch 40

Bella's diary

Edward has gone missing. My heart almost stopped when Jasper told me: all the memories of the shock and pain he had caused me, the shame and frustration of not being able to control what happened to my own body returned with a vengeance, and I think without Jasper close I would have had a full-blown panic attack. Not that he could really have calmed me down, he oozed tension and nervousness in a way that made me disbelieve everything he told me about it being no big deal. Before I fell asleep in his arms that night he said he would drive me to school the next day so we could leave straight from there, and my truck wouldn't be sitting around the parking lot. Oh yes, as if he didn't just want to make sure I wasn't alone.

To cap it all, Charlie is becoming almost as nervous. It seems there has been a string of murders starting in Portland and then moving up to Seattle via Tacoma recently. The police are trying to keep it quiet for fear of journalists creating a serial-killer craze, but it looks like all the stations have been put on high alert and Charlie said they are definitely getting the FBI in as well.

I'm really sorry that Charlotte and Peter have left, but with what Charlie told me, it might have been a good idea. Jasper promised we would go to see them in the summer holidays. How he wants to convince Charlie of letting me travel to Texas with him, I don't know yet, but he sounded so confident I didn't want to dampen his good mood. He's also looking forward to Seattle so much that he has me really nervous what to expect. His love can be quite overwhelming at times, especially as I'm new to this kind of intense feeling myself. At least after Wednesday the wolves and the vampires are no longer at each other's throat – definitely progress. Well, have to leave for school now.

Jasper's POV

I felt like I was going out of my mind with worry, but finally we had some good news. At five in the morning Carlisle texted me that he had reached Alice and Laurent, and had been told Edward was currently in Vienna, touring the museums there before going to a music festival later in the month. Good for him. I wanted him as far from us as possible.

I still stuck to the plan of driving Bella to school that morning, so I could be on my way to Mt Rainier early. No matter what Carlisle thought about my control, I needed to hunt if I was going to share a bed with my angel in Seattle. I drove the two hundred miles there and back, singing along to Tom Petty on the stereo. Finally I could make Bella mine completely, no Charlie sleeping next door, no wolves or jealous brothers interrupting. Wow.

I had cut my timing a bit fine on the way back, and just about managed to cut down my speed when I saw the traffic control on the 101. Right, that had been there in the morning. Charlie. Phew – that was a close shave. I smiled as I drove by him, and accelerated only when I was sure he could no longer see me.

I pulled into the parking lot just in time. We were not really worried about the teachers seeing my car – we didn't usually use it to drive to school, so it was not known. In any case I could always claim, I had had a dentist appointment or something like that. I parked in the shade of some trees, to make it easier for Rosalie and Emmett to get in and waited. Students were leaving the buildings in groups, and the steady trickle of people continued for a while.

Ten minutes after the set time, my phone rang. "Yes?" What now? Couldn't Rosalie decide on the shoes she wanted to wear? I have to admit I'm a real stickler for punctuality – army habits – and get impatient quickly when kept waiting. How I survived all those years with Alice is beyond me.

"Hey, Jazz."

"Rosalie, what is the delay?"

"Relax, we're as good as there. I was just…"

She sounded strange, which alerted me. "What is it?"

"Well, you know, I'm not a big fan of credit cards, and the one I had along in New York, eh, Emmett broke it, so…"

I rolled my eyes. "Spit it out, sis!"

"Ok, did Emmett lend you money from our stash?" We all kept cash ready in case of emergency.

"No, I don't need much anyway, and I've got my own. Did Emmett go out and get you some surprise?"

I heard the door, and then I could hear a debate in the background. Now Emmett was on the phone. "Jasper, I didn't take it, and Rosie swears she didn't. That means we've got 4000$ missing somehow. I know it's not a life and death situation, but I don't understand what has happened."

I swallowed. "When did you last see it?"

"Last night", Rosalie was back on. "I put the key to the safe with it. Damn, Jasper, someone's been in here while I was in the garage."

Someone who knew not only about the hidden cash, but also about where it was hidden and was cold-blooded enough to break into a vampire house? The tingling at my spine was back, and I sent them to check on Alice's stash as well as mine.

"All empty", Emmett said. "What do we do now?"

"I have no idea, but I need to find where Bella is, she's not out yet either." I hung up and dashed into the by now empty building. I checked Bella's last classroom – empty. Fear building up at breakneck speed, I rushed to the office, not caring who saw me move.

"Excuse me", I asked the secretary flashing a smile. "I'm looking for Bella Swan. She was supposed to meet me after school, and she hasn't shown up yet."

The kindly secretary obviously had no idea that I'd been ditching classes that day and smiled back. "Oh dear, she must have forgotten all about you in all the hustle. Her father has had an accident this morning, and one of his colleagues picked her up in a cruiser to go to hospital with him."

I felt faint. "When was that?"

"Oh, that was in the first period, almost as soon as the lesson started. Will you give my good wishes to the Chief when you see him or Bella?"

I mumbled something and left quickly.

That's it. She had been snatched, and I had no doubt who was behind it. Edward must have known I would see Bella off to school, he had made sure I was gone and then pulled his kidnapping stunt, getting god knows who to stand in for him. It must also have been him who cleaned out our money stashes – intelligent move, he wouldn't be needing to use a credit card and leave a trail. I checked my watch. Seven hours already, and I had no idea which road they had taken.

Wait.

I did. They must have come from the North, or they would have seen the traffic control, which gave away their rouse so easily. And they could not have gone past the traffic control where Bella could see Charlie and cause a riot, and if it was vampires, they would not risk knocking her out for fear of hurting her too much. North it was then. Good, I would get them, but there were two phone calls I had to make first.

"Emmett", I said as soon as he picked up. "Today is cancelled. Someone – I fear Edward – has snatched Bella and probably taken her north on 101. I'm going there now to see if I can pick up a scent. Wait for further instruct…"

"Whoa! Slow down."

"No time. I'll call you as soon as I know more."

"Jasper, listen!" He thundered when I was about to hang up. "Jacob said the wolves were worried because the natives of the Quinault have told them that they've seen quite a few vampires near their reservations, and…"

Damn! "How many?"

"No idea, anyway, the pack has been sniffing around a bit…"

"They were supposed to look after Bella", I growled.

"They did that too, but they say they've come across tracks of around half a dozen different scents recently."

My mood sank even further. "Scents they did not know?"

"Yes. How did you know?"

"This is an army", I had listened to what Charlie told Bella on Thursday. "Emmett, I have to go now and follow or I lose all chance of finding her."

"I'll have your back, bro", Emmett said and hung up.

The next call was short and to the point. "Pete! Get back up here. Bella's been taken."

"I'm already on my way, Major. Talk to you in a couple of hours."


	41. Chapter 41

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CH41

Bella's diary

I hadn't met the young policeman who picked me up before that morning. That was surprising, but not unusual; Charlie had told me that they were liaising with several other police departments about the murders, so maybe he was from the neighbouring county. He was quite young though, barely twenty, must have been hired straight after High School, I guess, but he was definitely dressed for the part: uniform and aviator glasses. It seemed like he was in the job for the opportunity of fast driving, and when he passed the hospital at high speed, I hollered. "Hey, where are you going? The parking lot is that way."

He started but then caught himself fairly well, "Ah, no, Miss, it's the other hospital", and drove on undeterred.

I realised something was wrong when he snatched the phone I was going to use to call Jasper and cancel our trip. He simply grabbed it, turned it off and put it in his pocket.

"Excuse me?" What was going on with the man?

"Sorry, I've got my orders. I'm to bring you without you phoning anyone."

"C-can I see your ID?" I asked belatedly, tense now.

He snorted. "Nope, haven't got one. Keep quiet!" He accelerated even more which was fine on the small highway, but not on the forest lane he had taken now for the Olympic Mountains National Park. I was thrown around in my seat and felt quite sick by the time he finally stopped the cruiser, so I put my head between my knees immediately. Just a few minutes, I told myself, then you'll be alright and won't fall down as soon as you get out. Strange, yes, worrying about falling down in the middle of being kidnapped, but my nausea was quite overwhelming.

A second later, my door was opened and my book bag taken. "Come on, I haven't got all day." He held out a hand, which I didn't take. Instead I dived low and tried to run – no success. He had me pinned to the floor at once. "Oh no, you're coming with me." He took hold of me by the scruff of my neck and literally dragged me along after nodding to a young woman who had appeared with a blowtorch next to the cruiser.

We had not gone very far when I heard the sound of sizzling fire and some smaller bangs and realised they had burned the car. By now I was shaking: If they had the manpower to make someone pose as a deputy, and the resources to simply burn a car, they were not just going to let me go after a prank. This whole thing looked like a rather meticulously planned kidnapping, only: For what? Charlie had no money to speak of, and Renee certainly didn't. I cleared my throat. "Eh – excuse me."

"What?" Impatient.

"I think you've got the wrong person. No one will pay for me…" I trailed of, having just realised that that was not one of my brighter ideas: If I told them no one would pay, what stopped them from killing me right now?

By now we had come to a sturdy-looking log cabin in the middle of the forest. There had been no trail, but my kidnapper seemed to know the way blind. "Here!" He tossed me forward suddenly like I was a sack of potatoes. I landed sprawled on the dirt in front of the cabin. "She says we must have the wrong person, she was not worth anything", he said to someone who was waiting there in a nastily ironic tone.

While I was still trying to sort out my limbs I heard cold laughter from above me. I looked up and saw three people standing there as still as only vampires could. One, a tallish man with dirty blonde hair tied back in a ponytail, one a red-haired woman, and Laurent. I swallowed and checked if I was bleeding anywhere. Then I got up carefully, my knees shaking so much that I was not sure I would make it. I said the first positive thing that came into my mind. "Jasper will come and get me."

"I sure hope he will", the blonde man said, holding out a hand in an inviting gesture.

I didn't take it. I had looked into their eyes, they were all blood red. "Where is Alice?" I turned to Laurent.

"Parking the car, she will be here in a minute, don't worry, cher", Laurent said with a smile on his face.

"I don't understand. What are you doing here?"

Laurent frowned. "Did you really believe I would become a vegetarian vampire after three hundred years? Alice was a means to an end."

By now the woman was slowly walking around me. "This is the human that all the fuss is about?" She was sniffing me. "I would have thought she was prettier."

"Get back here, Victoria", the other man ordered. "You, come here!" He pointed to a dilapidated rocking chair in front of the cabin. "Sit!"

I did what I was told to do, knowing that running would not make any sense – they were faster, knew the terrain, I didn't – neither would screaming. My only hope was that Jasper somehow got me out of this, or that Alice would find a way for both of us to leave.

When she came back and curled into Laurent's arms though, I knew that that was highly unlikely. "Alice?" I asked shyly.

She looked at me coldly and asked in a bored tone. "Yes, Bella?"

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm with Laurent." She turned to her lover again, obviously unfazed by his red eyes.

From then on the vampires did not talk to me and simply remained standing still in their peculiar way, not moving, not breathing either. For all I knew they could have turned into statues.

What did they want with me? If they wanted to drain me, then what was the delay? Why did it look as if they were actually waiting for Jasper to come? From what I heard about him so far, they would not get him in his best mood.

We waited for hours on end, the vampires so unmoving and quiet that I looked around from time to time to check they were still there. Time seemed to have stopped for all I knew. It felt like a rather absurd nightmare, one of those where you're stuck in a situation that is going round and round in circles without making any sense. I didn't dare ask any questions for fear of what they might do, remembering that they were the ones who had killed two families and probably all those people Charlie had told me about. They looked so beautiful, but there was no doubt these here were monsters.

_**A/N: Well, we'll be meeting some not so nice vampires in the near future, so if you're squeamish…**_

_**leave me some feedback as motivation!**_


	42. Chapter 42

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42

Bella's diary

The day went on, hour after hour crept by, and by now it must be late afternoon. The sun that had been so warming all day had now disappeared, and besides being hungry and thirsty, I was now getting quite cold as well. No one had come so far, but Jasper must have been waiting for me. Was he looking? Was there any way he could find me? My mood was bordering on desperate, and my belly started grumbling now too.

James looked at me irritated. "Was that you?" He seemed amused when I nodded. "She's growling at us. That's feisty!" He got up and stood closer to me.

I flinched back, I did not like him close, but my stomach repeated its request for food. "I'm hungry", I whispered.

"Hungry?" He scoffed and looked in the direction from where we had come. A second later four teenagers appeared in the clearing, led by my chauffeur. They were all pale and beautiful, but they all had the same pinched and haunted expression. As soon as they saw me, they surged forward at vampire speed and only stopped short when James growled at them. Then he turned to my kidnapper. "Riley! Make sure you got them in check!" Riley nodded shamefacedly and pushed the others back like you would rabid dogs who were straining at their leashes.

"You think _you're_ hungry", James smiled at me sardonically. "What do you think they are?"

"I-I don't know", I whispered, shrinking back in my seat. I was sure that had Riley and James not been there, they would have torn me apart at once. They still kept making hungry noises, and you could see that they were basically waiting for Riley's attention to drop so they could get around him. Those were newborns then. I shuddered.

Laurent laughed. "Oh, the lady doesn't like your new coven, James, she finds it repulsive. Cher, you only like vegetarian vampires, no?"

I did not answer him and closed my eyes willing the whole outfit to disappear. How could the Cullens ever have trusted that monster? Maybe there was something to be said for Jasper's approach in favour of Carlisle's when it came to the nomads.

"Can't be long now". Victoria said, and Alice nodded. "He is coming here."

A few minutes later there was a strange noise suddenly. I opened my eyes to the sight of the newborns and Riley on their knees, bending over in pain. Then something rushed toward James and threw him into the small yard in front of the cabin. A growl, menacing and low was close to me, and I started shaking with fear.

"No, darlin', calm down. I'll get you back!" Jasper was with me for a second, then James came flying at him and threw him off. I covered my mouth with my hands to keep from screaming as they fought each other, slamming the other around, into tree trunks and smashing them onto the floor, hissing and growling all the while like angry lions or tigers.

Then I felt a hand on my back, and it stopped as suddenly as it had started.

Jasper looked to me with a scared expression on his face and threw up his hands. "Let her go!" He said.

"No", James answered. "I've got a proposition for you, Major."

"You don't call me that", Jasper hissed at him, his eyes still black. "I want Bella to leave. If you hurt her, you will regret it." He was still close to James.

"Not as much as you", Victoria smirked at me.

"You sure you want to try that?" Jasper said very quietly. "You must have a very short memory." Then he hissed at her and she flinched.

"How about you listen to me first", James was all jovial host now.

"Why?"

"Because I'm calling the shots here, pal."

"Then tell Laurent to step back!" Jasper retorted. At the wave of James's hand the cold touch left my back.

"There, now we can talk. Jasper, I heard about your exploits, you're a legend in our world…"

Jasper stopped him short. "I want nothing to do with that."

"Please let me finish. As you can see, I've started recruiting an army", James pointed to the youngsters, still reeling on the ground.

Jasper nodded grimly. "Yes, what's the point of that?"

"Oh, come on, surely you would know. I want to take the west coast, and with a coven uniquely suited to such a pursuit…" He pointed to Victoria, Laurent and Alice.

Jasper's eyes turned to Laurent, full of hatred. "You're a shield, aren't you?"

Laurent nodded and smiled graciously.

James nodded in pleasure at his own plan. "Yes, my very own Trojan Horse. I couldn't have infiltrated your coven another way, could I? You needed to trust Laurent for him to gather enough information on you all, and you were so obliging. Your naïve daddy even filled him in on other covens with especially talented people. We might persuade them to join us."

"You're out of your mind", Jasper was speaking very quietly, and you could hear the tension and anger in his voice. I knew he adored Carlisle like a father and was angry about James making fun of him and his trust in people.

"Why?" James drawled without concern.

"The Volturi will get wind of what you're planning, and they will have you so fast you won't be able to run."

James smiled. "Well, we got the clairvoyant; we'll know when they come. And… we will have the God of War."

"Oh no, you won't. I'm done with that. I'm a vegetarian, and I'm going to stay with the Cullens."

"Only if you're leaving her here", James pointed to me, and I could feel Laurent coming closer again. "And who knows what might happen to one fragile little human with so many vampires around."

I could feel a burst of anger, then fear flying my way. Victoria was grinning broadly.

"Besides", James continued in a bored voice. "The Cullens are obviously the first coven we're going to attack, and with them so valiantly relying on animal blood, they would be a bit weaker than your average newborn, I guess. Am I right, Laurent?"

He must have nodded behind my back, and Jasper swallowed. "What are your conditions?"

"You train the newborns, and you lead our attacks. You're responsible to me only, my second in command."

Jasper's jaw was tight, as if he was grinding his teeth. "And Bella?"

James shrugged. "She's yours, though I would advise you to change her, make her part of the team, your own little fighter."

Jasper must have seen me blanch at the idea of being like those youngsters in front of him. He flinched and did not meet my eyes, but looked down for a while. Then he raised his head again. "All right, you got me. But I want you to let Bella go at once."

"No, no, no, no, no, she stays here with us, to… keep you company", James said and nodded to Laurent to let me go. I almost managed to get up, but before I could move toward Jasper, he was near me, his arms around me and his body shielding me against the others. Somewhere along the line he must have relinquished his hold on the newborns, because they were up and tried to charge at him, hissing with anger at the pain they had received. Jasper turned and sent them down again with a stare. "Tell them!" He said to James.

"Listen! You are to obey Jasper from now on or you will regret it. What you got today is just a small appetiser to what could happen if you're not cooperating with the Major's instructions, got me? After that kind of undisciplined behaviour I'm wondering if I ought to let you feed at all today…" He left the sentence hanging, and from the fearful way they looked at him they must be used to that kind of treatment.

At Jasper turning his gaze on them once more, the newborns stepped back quickly. It looked like they didn't want a repeat of whatever Jasper had done to them.

James wrapped his arm around Victoria and whispered in her ear. She laughed about whatever he had said, and I was sure it must be something bad for us, but they went to the other end of the clearing and started making out quite shamelessly.

"Alice?" Jasper's voice could have cut steel, but she didn't even flinch.

"Yes, Jazz?" In an infuriatingly girly voice.

"What the hell are you doing here? You were always so insistent about being with vegetarians only."

"Well", she drawled. "You didn't really expect me to be on my own after you decided to find a new mate, did you? Besides, Laurent is much nicer than you." She curled into her lover's arms like a kitten.

"You would have them attack Carlisle and Esme?"

"I am with Laurent", she answered stubbornly, and when Jasper snorted at that, Laurent growled and left with Alice in tow.

Jasper shook his head, then asked "Are you alright, darlin'? I'm so sorry I left you to be kidnapped by those monsters…"

"How could you have known? Jasper, we need to get out of here! Why did you agree to him?" Was my lover about to become a bloodthirsty warrior again?

He looked pained. "They didn't leave me much choice, Bella, I…" He interrupted himself. "Oh god, no! Bella, please don't look!" He tried to step in front of me, but obviously, the first thing you do when someone tells you not to look, is to do just that. I craned my head to find the source of the commotion that had set in in the clearing all of a sudden and gasped.

"Hello Bella", a soft voice said. Edward had appeared, carrying something wrapped in a tarp over his shoulder. He walked up close to the cabin, and now we could see that his eyes were crimson as well. He put down the bundle and took hold of one corner of the fabric to unroll it with one determined tug. A second later a very dazed Mike was dizzyingly trying to find his bearings. "Edward? Bella?" He asked in a confused voice.

Edward's gaze was cold, and after checking with James, he pointed to Mike and nodded to the newborns who pounced at once.

I was frozen in place, too horrified to react. Jasper pulled me close to him and sent me calming waves, but I still could not blend out Mike's screams, becoming quieter and ending in a soft gurgling sound. By now I was crying quietly on Jasper's shoulder, wishing it all was a bad dream, and I would wake up in my bed soon.

Edward's voice dragged me from that comforting thought. "What did he say?"

"He agreed – with a bit of persuasion. So, we're on", James told him.

"H-hm", Edward mused, then was silent for a while. "Don't trust him, he's lying."

"What?" James asked.

Jasper reacted at once and pushed me behind him to face his former brother with what I was sure was not a friendly expression. "Care to repeat that?" He asked in a threatening voice. Victoria was watching the exchange with interest. Laurent and Alice had come closer again as well, Alice more or less hiding in Laurent's arms. Apparently she felt she needed protection against her former husband.

"No problem", Edward sounded very sure of himself. Like Jasper had done when he slipped he was glowing slightly, with the human blood, I realised shuddering.

"Why do you think so?" James asked, ignoring Jasper.

"He's blocking his thoughts from me. Why else would he be doing that?"

"Jasper?" James asked masking a threat by a friendly voice. "Is that so?"

_**hehe… cliffhanger, sorry ;-)**_

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	43. Chapter 43

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43

Jasper's POV

I had been almost out of my mind with worry, but I knew I had to think straight or I would not accomplish anything. Taking a few unnecessary breaths to calm myself like I would have before combat, I developed a plan, careful not to decide on anything definitely. If Edward was in on this – the stolen money and Bella's kidnapping suggested it – then so was Alice. How else could she have been telling Carlisle about Edward being in Vienna otherwise? If it hadn't been Edward who took the money, that only left Alice, so… see above.

I kept changing my mind about what I would do, and when I came to the entrance to the North Olympic Forest NP on 101, I nodded and decided to go to them. I parked my car, just out of reach for human eyes, but visibly enough for vampires and followed the path. When I passed a burned-out car, strong vampire scent led me into the forest.

By now it was late afternoon, and no one seemed to be keen on walking the park on their own – wise move this time of year with bears just mothering their young. I could smell thevampires from a distance, newborns, Alice and Laurent as well as the rest of his coven. And Bella. Thank god, she was still alive. I went ahead with my plan, raising the stakes for James to count me in and trying to win some time for my helpers to arrive. As expected, they got me by threatening to hurt Bella. I had never felt that vulnerable before in my life, but there was no alternative to giving in for now. At least she was unhurt, though how long she would stay sane in that kind of environment is anybody's guess. Edward has definitely gone native, and his stunt of feeding Newton to the newborns would have surprised even Carlisle, I think.

I needed to stay calm and controlled if I wanted to find a way out of this situation.

"He's blocking his thoughts from me. Why else would he be doing that?"

"Jasper?" James asked, masking a threat by a friendly voice. "Is that so?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Giving off a wave of righteous indignation.

"He's reciting Emerson in his head", Edward said mockingly. I glared at him, trying to send him some agony, but he slipped me by sidestepping. Damn mind reader!

"Hmmm", James said, "maybe we have to find out just what you mean by loyalty, shall we?" He waved Laurent over to me and Bella.

I swallowed and braced for a fight. This would become dirty, Laurent was older than me, and he would be immune to my gift, but I would not give him Bella to torture. Before he could come to her, however, Edward could be heard again. "No, that isn't helpful He will only be worried about her if you start hurting her, I can't get anything useful from him then."

"Ok", James said, giving my bastard brother an admiring look. "Laurent, if you would be so kind as to try the other alternative?" He came over to us, put a hand on Bella's neck and Laurent dragged me away a little.

"Jasper?" Bella sounded frantic. "What is happening now?"

I closed my eyes, knowing what James had in mind, and that it would not help anyone to stop him. "It's alright, Bella, please don't worry about me."

Laurent stopped just a few yards from them. I had hoped that Laurent and James would take their inquisition away from the cabin, but apparently there were no bounds to James's depravity.

Laurent started torturing me, and I have to admit had I not had such a 'good' teacher as I'd had in Maria, I might have been in trouble. As it was, he was hurting me, but he was far from breaking my will. I put myself in a place far away and tried to blend out what was happening even though I heard my voice groan and at one even time scream out in pain. Edward was shaking his head in frustration, and I think James was about to stop Laurent, when a choked voice came through to me. "Please, no, please don't hurt him. I'll do anything you want, but stop hurting him."

Damn it. Bella had lost her nerve, and her frightened wail hurt me more than anything Laurent had done up to now. His next slash caught me unprepared, and I went to my knees.

"Jasper, I think you should start to give in, your human is promising everything to me", James's sarcastic voice cut through the mist of pain around me.

"What do you want?" I rasped.

"Loyalty. Swear loyalty to me! I know you're a man of honour, so I will rely on that!"

"Jasper!" Bella's pleading voice. "Don't let them kill you!"

Oh darlin', they could not be further from that. I sighed. "Alright, you can count me in, James. I'll be part of your coven."

"Good. Laurent, I think our major needs a break."

As soon as Laurent left my side, Bella rushed towards me, her face as white as a sheet, streaming with tears. She tried to help me get up from the dirt – sweet angel – and even wanted to support me while we walked back to the porch. James stood by, watching carefully. Alice had taken off with a queasy look on her face as soon as Laurent had started– coward.

"Bella, I'm alright, I…"

"How can you be ok?" Her lovely eyes were round with worry. "You're wounded all over. What can I do to make you better?"

"I will heal."

"You look more dead than alive!" She had sat down on the floor with me, and I put my head in her lap.

"I've had worse, and I'm better already." True, yes, but I knew that I would have to do something about getting better or I'd be no use for Bella here. I tried to get enough venom on my cuts to make them close again.

"How could they do that to you?" Bella was still frantic.

"Darlin', we're monsters."

"You're not!" With so much conviction that my undead heart almost flowed over with love. "Ok, tell me what to do about these slashes!"

I shook my head warily. "They will heal. Just let them…"

She just frowned at me. "You're eyes are all black… Are you hungry?"

I smiled in pain. "No, I need … blood to heal." That was my dilemma: If I wanted to be strong and heal fast, I needed to feed. To do that, I'd have to leave Bella with this gang – something I was definitely not comfortable with.

She had obviously just come to the same conclusion and rolled up the sleeve of her shirt determinedly. "Here!"

"No, you're out of your mind!" I pushed her away.

"Jasper, you're no good to me here if you're sick, you can't get us out. I trust you to be able to stop. I don't trust them to be nice to us."

Just then I caught James looking at us interestedly and shuddered. I was sure he was going to hold Bella to her earlier promise somehow, and there had been no sign of Peter or Emmett so far, so I needed to be strong enough to defend her and think clearly. I took a deep breath. "If you're sure…"

She kissed my forehead. "I love you, yes I'm sure." She held out her arm again, and this time I took it, cutting her with my fingernail. The scent of her blood so close was already making me dizzy. "Bella, you have to try and stop me." She nodded grim-faced. Then I drank… the sweetest drink of my life. I closed my eyes and was back on the farm, lying on my back in the tall grass on a Texas summer day, watching the cotton candy clouds drift across an azure sky, crickets chirping around me – pure bliss. I was full of love, and was about to reach out for the girl of my dreams, whom I could feel close to me when I became aware of a voice shouting "No, you can't do that!" Then I was thrown across the yard.

"Hey!" Bella screamed, and the next thing I saw was my fragile angel taking hold of Edward's arms and pummelling him for what she was worth. "You… hypocrite… you idiot! What are you at him for when you left Mike to be killed ten minutes ago? You would attack Carlisle and Esme, and you just watched while Jasper was being hurt. What kind of sick creature are you?" There was fire in her eyes, and interestingly enough I could feel some response from Edward. Guilt, remorse, and pain. Aha!

Eventually I caught her from behind and pulled her off. "Bella, you can't hurt him, and sooner or later he will react. Let him be!"

She snorted and turned. "Hm. Are you better?" She checked my face anxiously. Apparently she liked what she saw and smiled. "There, now you're better!"

I shook my head at her and quickly closed up the cut in her arm with my venom. "Yes, and you're completely mad, my darlin'." Bleeding in this environment was definitely a health hazard.

Blissfully unaware of the danger around her, she curled into my arms and kissed me. Who was I to complain? I could hear a heated discussion from a distance but for now all I wanted was with me. I was definitely on a human blood high, and from Bella's blood at that.

"Jasper?" A throat was cleared near my ear. I became aware of another vampire close to my mate and growled. The voice insisted. "Jasper! Now!"

Irritated I stopped the kiss to Bella's protesting moans and flicked her behind me. Then I opened my eyes and faced James with an angry stare. "What?" Was he going to tell us to get a room?

"There should be a 'Sir' in there somewhere, but for now I'll let it go. You have work to do. There are two more newborns in a cottage two miles from here who will be waking up today, and I'd also like you to look over the ones we already have and tell me something about their potential."

He had even more newborns stashed away? That guy was definitely mad as a hatter. "I need Bella away from here then, she's…"

My angel did not let me finish that sentence and turned on the person responsible for the interruption. "You just tortured him within an inch of his life. He needs rest." Her voice was incredulous and angry – surely not a mood that James would accept in his role as leader, but he only laughed mockingly. "Quite a little fighter, as I said, I'm sure you will be impressive."

"You are despicable", Bella flared up. "Absolutely disgusting, too and…"

I could feel James's anger rising and cut her short by holding out my hand. "James, I need a few minutes here, she knows nothing about vampire covens."

"What?" Chocolate eyes turned on me, fire still in them.

"Bella, he is right to expect me to work for him. Trust me, I know what I'm doing, play along."

I felt Edward trying to pick my brains and made use of that. At the same time I had another conversation with Edward, telling him to get rid of Mike's remains as far away from here as possible or he would get all the townspeople on us with pitchforks. After some bitching he agreed. We had some practice with this sort of thing; after all we had lived together for more than fifty years.

_You don't want her hurt either, or you would have let them torture her instead of me._

He nodded, glaring at me.

_Why the hell are you in this?_

He narrowed his eyes and looked from Bella to himself.

Now I saw. He had read James's plans when we met them the first time at Mt Rainier, and when Carlisle tossed him out, he saw a way of getting back at me. From James's self-confident demeanour and their lack of regard for transport I also assumed that the stolen money had gone to him too. But there was more. _He promised Bella to you?_

He nodded, slightly triumphant.

_Edward, grow up. He gave her to me when I joined and probably to Laurent as well. Alice says she saw Laurent changing her__. Who do you think he'll give up easier? _I did not tell him the whole vision relying on his anger to stop him from exploring the idea further.

And right, he looked absolutely furious and mouthed 'no way!'

_Exactly. Edward, s__he needs to be out of here, she's cold and hungry, and there's no way we'll be able to control two newly risen vampires with her scent around._

His eyes widened at the prospect and I could feel fear from him. Then his eyes flickered to Bella's arm and he became angry again.

_I know, but there was nothing for it. Do you want her to be torn apart by the newborns?_

He snorted and shook his head imperceptibly.

_Good, then convince James that she has to go home for the night at least. He's got my promise__ of loyalty_.

He shrugged and turned towards James. "A word?"

They whispered together, while I took hold of Bella's shoulders to make her look into my eyes. "I want you to go home with Edward."

"But…"

"I know what I'm asking, I don't like it either, but for now this is how it works. I will find you again. Trust me!"

The prospect of leaving me with Edward drew a sharp breath from her, and she started to shake. "No, Jasper, I can't. I really can't."

I held her close, put my mouth to her ear and told her as quietly as I could. "Peter is on his way, you are not alone."

A second later, Bella was ripped from me by Edward.

"What's that?" I hissed taking up a fighting stance.

"Stand down", James drawled. "She promised she would do what I wanted, and at the moment I want her to be with him."

Bella flinched, and I put up a good show of trying to get out of the restraint James and Laurent put me in while Edward left with her. I tried to send my angel all the love I had for her while I watched Edward carrying her away. Soon after we heard a powerful car engine roaring in the distance.

**A/N: Phew – this chapter has been re-drafted, revised, rewritten, rejected… you name it. Of course, Jasper has a plan, maybe you've already found it? leave me your thoughts**!


	44. Chapter 44

_**right – a new instalment of the saga. Have fun!**_

_**still don't own twilight**_

_**I know I was going to recommend a story here, but I can't remember for the moment which one. If you're interested, I'm sure I put in on my favourites list.**_

44

Bella's diary

How did I get into this mess?

It almost broke my heart to go away from Jasper, no matter that I was leaving that place of horrors behind me. I could hear Jasper fighting against James and Laurent behind us, and I was just hoping he wouldn't get hurt again. True, his wounds had healed extremely fast, but I still shudder only to think of them. I know I shouldn't worry that much, I'm reasonably sure he knows what he's doing, but I can't help it.

Now that he actually drank some of my blood I feel we're even closer, almost like we're one person. It was not as bad as I had imagined it to be, he was very tender and it was quite a… sensual thing as well, and I think we were drunk with each other after he stopped, that kiss was certainly something else…

… yeah, and now I'm stuck here with Edward. I'm tired and hungry and feel as if all my energy has been drained from me.

He carried me to a logging road in another part of the forest and pulled the tarp off a car without saying a word.

I looked at the low silver sports car sceptically, but he opened the door for me. "Get in, Bella, I'm not going to hurt you."

I must still have looked frightened, because he added at once. "Jasper told me to get you out of that place. Don't you think he would have stopped me otherwise?"

I breathed out. Maybe he was right, and they had had that thought communication thing on, I could tell, because I'd seen the others do that with Edward. However… "Edward, I'm scared of you. I don't trust you."

"But you do trust Jasper enough to let him drink from you? Bella, I know I've hurt you, for which I'm dreadfully sorry, and if I could turn back time that would never have happened, believe me, I paid for that evening." He looked at me directly, his face sincere.

I still hesitated getting in.

"Bella, you heard James, there are more newborns. They won't be able to control them with your scent near. Please, I'm driving you home to your dad."

"What about James?"

"We'll stop him." Stated factually.

I still didn't trust him, but I got in, reasoning that the alternatives were scarce. He drove us on the highway as far as Beaver, then put the car in a parking lot and told me to stay put.

"Why? Where are you…?" I was about to ask, but he had already taken off running. Frantically I fiddled with the door, sure he had thought of yet another fiendish thing to prove his worth to James and his lot, but I couldn't manage to get the door open. When I finally did, I almost tumbled out and fell flat on my face on the asphalt.

When I got my breath back again, some people were coming toward the car from a local diner. They were chatting about the vehicle, admiring looks on their faces. I didn't understand a word of their dialogue, only that they were talking about the car. I didn't know what to do. Running with so many people watching didn't seem to make a lot of sense, there would be questions I was not prepared to answer. Before I could make up my mind they were close to the car and now I got the attraction. Apparently it was the James Bond car. Aha. I never liked the movies. They had seen me get out and were now starting to pelt me with questions, which I tried to deflect, claiming no knowledge about motors at all.

"And the owner? Where is he?"

I shrugged my shoulders, still debating with myself whether to tell them to run for their lives or not, when Edward returned.

"Good evening?" He said in that charming voice that had drawn me to him in the beginning. I shuddered secretly.

"Does this beauty belong to you?"

"Are you referring to the car or the girl?" He smiled back all charming prep-student.

"The car, of course", they answered, shaking their heads.

He opened the passenger side door for me again, perfect gentleman, then he turned to the others. "The car belongs to my uncle; he lets me drive it sometimes. Excuse us, my date needs to be home in time."

Then he swiftly got in and roared away to the amazed stares of the audience.

"Where were you?" I asked.

He switched on the overhead light and turned to me. "Dinner." His eyes were golden once more.

"I don't understand…"

"Doesn't matter. Are you sure you're warm enough? You haven't eaten all day; so maybe", he slipped out of his jacket without slowing down and gave it to me.

"I'm fine", I answered, reluctant to take anything from him.

"Come on, I can see you're freezing."

"We'll be there soon", I said, looking out my window. I had the curios impression that we were being followed – not realistic, the speed Edward was going at.

"Alice phoned your house this afternoon and left a message to the intent that you were staying at the Cullen house overnight, you should think of an explanation quick", he told me.

"Phew", was all I could offer to that; then we passed Charlie's house. I'm not good at inventing excuses, and I'm even worse at lying, but was I really going to tell Charlie that I had been kidnapped by an army of vampires about to take over the West Coast? My luck was with me though, the cruiser wasn't there.

Edward parked out of sight and got out to open my door, when he suddenly stopped and turned, crouched into what I now recognised as a fighting stance. Facing him was a huge russet wolf, growling viciously.

"Jake!" I called, relieved to be home and not alone with Edward anymore.

The wolf nodded its head briefly and resumed the growling.

"Jacob", Edward said. "I know you were worried about Bella, but I'm just bringing her back."

The wolf made a snorting sound. Edward turned to me. "Am I right?"

When I nodded, Jake took off into the forest only to reappear a minute later in cut-offs. "You look like hell warmed over", he said to me, then turned to Edward. "I thought you had left the Cullens."

"I had, but now I'm back. Bella is tired; she needs to go inside for a hot shower and bed."

While I hated that kind of patronising attitude – it just showed again why I liked Jasper more – I couldn't disagree and nodded.

"Are you really ok?" Jake asked, embracing me. I nodded, and a huge yawn escaped me. Suddenly I felt Jake tense. "What the h…?"

"Later", Edward told him. They both saw me to the door.

Fortunately Charlie had not been in yet. I found a message of his on the machine, telling me he would be out late working, as well as Alice's message about me sleeping at the Cullens. I shuddered at hearing her chirpy voice, knowing what she had been up to, and deleted the messages. Then I grabbed a granola bar which I inhaled on the way upstairs and went for a shower.

When I came to my room, I went to the window at once, sure that Jake would not just have left, but there was no sign of him. Neither of Peter. Something must have gone wrong about Jasper's plan. I went downstairs again and called Rosalie to tell her I was back, but only got her mail box as well, so I left a message. Jasper wasn't answering his phone and my cell was still with that Riley guy, so I couldn't text him either. I barely managed the stairs the second time and dropped on my bed. From then on … nothing.


	45. Chapter 45

_*****__**twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer***_

45

Bella's diary

I woke up quite late the next day – Saturday, thank god. The sun was already shining into my window, but all I wanted was to pull the cover over my head again and go back to sleep. I was sure that reality at the moment was far worse than my nightmares. Then I heard some rustling close to me and opened one eye again. A tray was next to me with some dark red juice and a bowl of cereal on it.

"Morning, sleepyhead", a familiar velvety voice said.

"Jasper!" I sat up, sure now that yesterday's events had just been a bad dream. Jasper looked as gorgeous as ever, fresh, if a bit windswept, and he was in clothes that were neither torn nor bloody. A look into his eyes however taught me different, and I sagged back into my pillow.

"Hey, darlin', don't look so sad. I will work it out." He leaned down to kiss me tenderly, then he sat up again and took up the glass with a determined look. "You need to eat or you'll get sick." He held out the glass to me.

"What is that?"

"Grape juice with added iron and vitamins, you need that after yesterday."

Right, I looked at my arm, and where he had cut me was a thin silvery line. I drank, making a face at the taste. "How did you get away?" I asked when I put down the glass.

"I have two hours' leave to get some stuff and… you."

I must have blanched, because he reassured me at once. "Bella, I have no intention whatsoever of taking you back to that place, but I need to get you somewhere safe."

I held on to his arms. "No, don't leave me; I don't want you to go back to them either." I know it was impossible, but at that moment I was prepared to hold on to him and stop him from leaving. Of course I knew my hold on him was no more than a butterfly's wing compared to his strength, but since yesterday I needed him close more than ever.

Obviously the empath caught on to my feelings, it was equally obvious that he shared them. "Mmmmmm", he purred, pulling me closer. "Do you want me for breakfast?" He kissed his way from my face to my neck, and my head started swimming. "Charlie's not here." More kisses. Suddenly the tray was gone, so were his clothes. Mine were easily dealt with. I'm not sure I made any sound of protest at him distracting me from our troubles, giving myself over to the desire and tenderness I'd been wanting now for so long. Somewhere along the line I had the impression of a howling sound from a distance, but it didn't really make it into my consciousness. All I knew was that my love was with me, and it felt absolutely right. Maybe we have the worst timing in the world but I would not have it any other way.

I was just about to drop into an exhausted sleep when Jasper shook me awake, already dressed again. "No, darlin', much as I like to watch you sleep, you need to be up and dressed."

"But why?" I protested sleepily. "Come back here!" I held out my arm. Even though I was tired and had the sneaking suspicion that my limbs were only loosely connected to my rump, I wanted nothing so much as him with me again.

He shook his head and smiled sadly. "James is a tracker, remember? If I don't bring you back with me, he will want to look for you. I'd rather not have him find you here alone."

"Where will I go?"

"I'm taking you back to the house. The event in Seattle was cancelled, and Charlotte is also staying with the family. You should be safe with five vampires around you, even if James decides to bring his attack forward."

"But what about Charlie? Won't James find him if he follows my… scent?"

"Charlie is with the search parties looking for the Newton family", he met my eyes with a sad face. "So he won't be alone, and the Quileutes will invite him on a fishing trip afterwards. They are quite keen to help, Emmett says. They will also keep watch here."

"But those boys can't fight against James and Laurent… and I don't want anything to happen to the Cullens because of me…"

"Bella, don't insult them. They are all quite capable of tearing James apart. Besides, they are your family too now." He kissed my nose. "Now come on, what do you need for a weekend with Rosalie?"

I got dressed, packed haphazardly, and then Jasper picked me up and drove me to the house at high speed. Once we had arrived, he turned to me. "I'm running out of time, Bella, I need to be back. Promise me you will be careful!" I nodded and fought down the rising tears. He kissed me briefly, and his car was already gone when I rang the bell at the front door.

Rosalie opened and pulled me inside. "Thank god! I was so worried, and Jasper only called this morning." She wanted to say more, but there was a noisy protest from above, and she simply carried me upstairs in a hurry and put me down in the living room, where six worried pairs of eyes turned on me at once.

Wait, six? I blinked and recounted.

Edward was with them. I stepped back from him carefully, which he noticed. He looked down and settled at the opposite end of the room.

A very pretty blonde vampire who must be Charlotte came to me at once and pulled me into a careful embrace. "Don't worry about him, as long as I'm here, he won't get within touching distance of you", she whispered into my ear. "I'm Charlotte, by the way, and I've heard a lot about you."

As soon as she let me go, Esme hugged me tightly. "Poor darling, we were so worried about you, but now you're safe!" The determined look on her face confirmed what Jasper had told me. It was clear that even Esme was prepared to fight for me. I noticed that the wall of windows was covered with something, probably steel. So the Cullens knew that James was about to attack them and were prepared. That gave me at least a small measure of security, as they were ready and confident about the whole thing. Only – what the hell was Edward doing here?

"Bella? Can you come up to my study with me for a moment?" Carlisle asked, interrupting my thoughts. "I heard you have had an… unfortunate experience and would like to check you through if that's ok with you."

I shrugged and followed him upstairs, wondering what had taken place before I arrived. He took my pulse, blood pressure, checked my eyes, mouth and ears in his efficient way. Then he turned to the scar on my arm, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"What is it?" I asked finally, irritated by the whole procedure.

"It's quite extraordinary that Jasper managed to stop drinking and then even was able to take care of your wound."

"He loves me, and he needed to get better."

"Hm-m. Bella, I'd like to take a small amount of blood to check if you're anaemic now."

"Do you have to? I hate needl…" Oops, he had already taken it, I hadn't even noticed the sting. I looked up in amazement. "You should do that all the time, it didn't hurt."

Carlisle smiled affectionately. "The perks of being a vampire doctor." Then he took the vial he had taken to his laboratory equipment and did some tests. "Sorry, I have to do this quickly; we can't really have something like that in the house."

I waited while he worked, and became aware of a heated discussion going on downstairs. I couldn't understand the gist, but it was clear that there was a fiery disagreement about something.

"What's with the noise?" I asked Carlisle.

He sighed. "Give me a minute here, then we'll explain." He bent back down over his microscope.

A little while later he came over to me. "I'd like you to have a blood transfusion; it looks like you have lost quite a bit yesterday."

"Jasper wasn't well", I heard myself in a defensive tone.

"I know. As I can see you're anxious to find out what's going on, I think it's best if we postpone that to after the meeting, if that's alright with you."

"Definitely."

"But I'd like you to have an injection now." He had already prepared a syringe and gave me whatever it was as efficiently as he had taken the sample earlier. Once he had put a small bandage over the puncture marks, we went downstairs again.

Five eager faces were looking up expectantly when we came down the stairs. Carlisle pointed everybody to the dining table, and we sat down, I as far as possible from Edward.

"How is Jasper?" Rosalie started, addressing me directly.

"Not too good, he had a little 'leave' as he called it this morning. He was supposed to bring me back with him, but he brought me here." I edited out our private time. Across the table Edward snorted.

"Did he leave any messages for us?" Charlotte asked, and Emmett nodded eagerly.

I shook my head, and Edward snorted again. Now I was angry. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you ingratiate yourself further with James and your new friends?"

"They are not my friends. I won't sit by and see my family attacked, and I won't swear loyalty to James either" Edward said in an icy voice.

I couldn't believe my ears. "You think that Jasper has really joined them? That he is going to train James's army for use against Carlisle and Esme? You must be mad."

"Bella, Edward has come back to warn us", Carlisle said patiently. "He also told us what happened to you yesterday."

"He did?" I was still furious. "What happened was that some people from his new coven kidnapped me to blackmail Jasper into joining, then Edward came along to James &Co and brought one of my friends as a takeaway for his new family. He had him torn apart right in front of me…" I had to stop or I would start crying, and I did not to give Edward the opportunity of discrediting what I said as emotional.

"It was my job to get food for the newborns. They are vampires, and I needed them to keep trusting me." Ah, I had been right, he was going to paint himself in a good light, using my limited knowledge of vampires as proof.

"Aha? Why were you with them in the first place?" I hoped my look was a scorching as I wanted it to be.

He was silent for a while, then he changed his tactic and turned to Carlisle. "I… lost my way after you threw me out", Edward said in a small voice. "I was… totally disoriented. I gave in to the thirst, and I thought with my gift I could make sure only to kill unworthy people. I was weak and James preyed on that when he found me." Esme and Carlisle looked at him sympathetically, while Emmett frowned and Rosalie scowled at her former brother. Charlotte made a face.

"And now we're supposed to trust you?" I was still incredulous that he had been taken in again.

Carlisle must have read my thoughts and turned to me. "Bella, we don't judge as harshly as you would probably expect. We have taken Jasper in again repeatedly."

"He came back here last night after taking you home and warned us about the attack. He said he couldn't stand by and have us or you hurt in any way", Esme added, giving Edward an admiring look.

"He took me home because Jasper told him so", I said rather loudly.

"No, Bella, you misunderstood that", Edward said. "I wanted you gone before the other newborns awoke, and I called in a favour from James. He had… promised me I could have you." I was about to flare up again, when he added "And I wanted to make sure Jasper wouldn't drink any more from you."

"What the hell are you saying?" Emmett asked looking from Edward to me.

Apparently Edward had saved his bombshell up to now. I sighed. "He was not well; he needed blood and couldn't leave me with those monsters to hunt, so I gave him some."

Rosalie flinched at that, and I caught a triumphant glance from Edward to her before he started talking again. "It's like I said, he's gone over to them, just like Alice has. It took him all of an hour to turn back into the Major."

I gasped. "You were there. You watched Laurent torturing him, because you had doubted his sincerity!"

"Yes, I had hoped he would use his considerable abilities to get you out of there and destroy them, which he didn't do. He joined them, and he is probably developing a strategy to destroy us right this moment."

"That is not fair, you saw how he suffered; he was more dead than alive when they finally stopped…"

"You forget that I can read his thoughts. If you don't believe me, ask Charlotte here about that." His look had become calculating.

Carlisle blinked and turned to the newcomer. "Can you tell me what Edward has seen in your thoughts?"

Charlotte sighed. "Your indiscreet mind reader over there might have seen me scoffing at the idea of Jasper giving in to torture. He had quite a lot of that with Maria, he never really broke under her, so he would certainly not yield to some unknown tracker and his gang", she stopped because of the uproar that caused, but added "I'm sure though that he has his reasons for feigning to join them. I trust him."

I gave her a smile and said "Besides, it doesn't make any sense for him to bring me here and then lead an attack on this house, does it?"

"Actually it does, Bella", Edward said in that infuriating patient 'I'm talking to a slow student' voice. "He marked you as his. No one will dare to lay a hand on you this way."

"Come again?" I frowned.

"He slept with you, his scent is all over you."

"Woohoo", Emmett howled and Rosalie slapped him, beaming at me. Esme exchanged a smiling look with Carlisle, and Charlotte grinned at me widely. I turned bright scarlet and wanted nothing so much than to disappear through a hole in the ground. Was nothing private with these people? "That has nothing to do with anything!"

Edward shook his head at me with a resigned expression. "For us it is. He marked you as his mate, and by the time they attack here, everyone in their army will know not to touch you. You saw what he can do to those newborns."

"That doesn't prove a thing", Charlotte retorted. "He wants her safe like everyone around this table, which certainly does not make him a criminal. I don't understand you people, you have lived with Jasper for more than fifty years, you should trust him."

"Mm", Edward looked at her thoughtfully. "Can you tell us where your husband is right now?"

"I can tell you something else: If you don't stop groping around my head without my permission, you will find yourself short of something in the near future", Charlotte growled. "And don't get any ideas about women not fighting. Jasper trained me, and I can take you out any day." She looked fierce enough to put her threat into practice, and I think that only Carlisle putting his hand on her arm stopped her. "Calm down everybody. We need to think this through rationally and without recrimination."

_**A/N: Sorry, another cliffhanger, but I think it's time we return to the other camp. Make my day – REVIEW!**_


	46. Chapter 46

**phew! That chapter took some thinking, but now it's done.**

**I still don't own twilight or its characters**

**thanks for all the new adds! **

46

Jasper's POV

I went back to the lair after dropping off Bella, using the drive to calm down from finally making her all mine. By the time I reached James and the others, I had to be convincing as the left lover. I would claim to have no knowledge of where Bella was, and while James could certainly track her down, it would not be his priority right now. Edward's absence guaranteed that my lie would not be questioned. Besides, by now I had my trusted sidekick and very own clairvoyant or sorts with me who could alert me to possible dangers.

Peter had come closer to the lair as soon as Edward was gone, assuming correctly that that idiot would be able to read him from afar and give him away before he had had enough time to get his instructions from me. When the coast was clear he gave me a sign and I finally gave in to James's attempts of bonding with me starting a conversation on books. True to his poor white trash appearance, he admitted that he had not yet found one book useful for real life, was however curios on what I had read – just the turn of conversation I had been waiting for.

"Well, I always found Machiavelli inspiring. For easy recreation though I prefer Tolkien, especially the Lord of the Rings."

"Ah, yes, of course", James agreed, plainly without a clue.

I was thankful Alice was occupied with Laurent and had not looked interested in the conversation – she would have been surprised at my choice – but now Peter knew that I wanted him to come out and help me by setting our opponents against each other, something he was unsurpassed at.

My trusty comrade strolled out of the forest, the picture of the innocent abroad approaching a coven of vampires guilelessly, a look of happy anticipation on his face. "Major, figure me running into you. I thought you were up in Alaska with that wife of yours, abstaining from the good stuff."

I pretended to shield him from my companions. "Pete, where did you come from?"

"Oh, you know me, here and there, down the road a ways, always looking for something juicy. Won't you introduce me to your friends?"

I made the introductions, and while Victoria looked less than happy about Peter joining us, James was elated at the prospect of having another seasoned fighter from Maria's army with his own. He was duly informed of our plans and sworn to loyalty. I assigned him as my assistant at once and took him along to the soon to rise newborns.

"Holy mackerel!" Peter exclaimed when he saw the two writhing creatures in the cabin. One, a slight girl, probably all of sixteen – no problem even for Esme unless she charmed her into vegetarianism first, but the other one was a boulder of a man, 6'5", Native American with a physique rivalling Emmett. My partner raised his eyebrows at me in question. I closed my eyes briefly, then pointed to the girl. Pete took her out efficiently, just before the big Indian woke, dazed and confused, crazed with thirst. I sent him a wave of calm and trust and he was left with the impression he had killed the girl in order to get to his promised first meal undisturbed. Pete would make sure later that he was actually fed, but only by us, so he would come to depend on us and us alone.

I returned to take a look at the newborns that had been trained by their oldest new recruit, Riley, the one who had kidnapped Bella. I swallowed the venom that gathered in my mouth at seeing him and went to interrogate him about what he had done with the four youngsters so far.

"Where are the new ones?" James asked at once.

I scoffed. "There's only one left. You're big brawny guy took out the girl in a matter of seconds, definitely a natural. Peter's feeding him as we speak. Now let me see what you've got here!"

I spent the rest of the night training Riley and the four youngsters, making sure that they were so muddled and confused from the training that they would start to neglect their natural instincts, thus losing the only advantage other than their strength that they possessed. Now all we needed was Charlotte training the Cullens accordingly and spreading relevant information to the wolves.

I had convinced James to give me leave to get my stuff, claiming to need my things intact rather than take them out of the ruins the Cullen house would certainly be in after the raid with six newborns.

On my arrival back, I was met with a different calamity. Alice was on the floor and Laurent was turning his expert knowledge on gathering information on her. He must have been at it for a while, because she was already a mess, talking incoherently and begging him to stop.

I frowned at Peter who was standing slightly aside with Graham, the new guy, who never left his side. "What's going on?"

"She saw something and won't tell him what", he whispered from the corner of his mouth. "Do you think there's a chance she's still loyal to you and has seen something about us?" I knew he was counting on me sending her some strength in that case so we could regroup.

I shook my head slightly. No, Alice had been in on the kidnapping, which had definitely been a betrayal of me.

At that moment Alice screamed out once more and wailed. "Enough, I'll tell you… everything!"

"I'm waiting!" James said. Laurent ceased in his efforts and Alice almost wept with relief.

"Edward has decided to change sides. He has gone back to Carlisle to warn them of our attack, and Carlisle will take him back in." She broke down sobbing.

"Make sure she doesn't feed in case we need more", James told Laurent quietly.

I closed my eyes. Damnit! Although I knew that even the best tactic only lasts until you actually confront your enemy, I had not counted on so much going wrong with my simple plan of relying on the wolves to tear Edward to pieces when he brought Bella home after the kidnapping. They were in on it after all, and according to Emmett eager to help. How had that slick bastard talked his way out of that? What's more, how had he talked Carlisle into taking him in again? I hit a tree with the heel of my hand – I had delivered Bella right into Edward's arms.

"Careful, Major", Peter warned. He felt one of my temper bursts coming on, rightly so. What we needed was distraction, fast, or Alice might tell them about the wolves as well.

I stepped forward determinedly. "Do you really have the time to deal with that boy now? Shouldn't we be planning how to attack the Cullen house?" I turned a rather stern eye on James. "I assume you have been on a reconnoitring mission already?"

He turned his anger on me, peeved I had spoken to him like that. "Oh, you have found your way back here after all. Where's your human?"

"Edward stole her, what do you think? Why did you give her to him last night? I can't operate with these kinds of beginners' errors here if this is to work."

James smirked. "At least you'll be highly motivated to go after him now, won't you?" He actually looked pleased, probably not trusting me to really fight against Carlisle – if Laurent had informed him about our relationship well – but certain I would leave no stone unturned where Bella was concerned, especially against Edward. For once he was right in his assessment, but I was not about to openly agree.

Summoning a righteous amount of rage, I turned on him. "If anything happens to my mate because you handed her to Edward, I'll tear your Victoria into pieces so small, you won't be able to find them."

Victoria's flinching assured that James took my threat seriously, not ready however to cave in to me with the newborns present, he went into fighting mode. "I can give her to whom I chose. Remember your place!" He growled at me, expecting me to submit loyally, which I did. It cost me nothing and deflected the attentions of everyone present from Alice. "Do your job! I want you to come up with a plan in two hours. Your sidekick here can take over the training!"

"I need some peace and quiet for that, and someone to take notes", I said, calculating rightly that neither him, nor Laurent or Victoria would take over such a menial task, which left Alice. From the way James and Laurent had been looking at her, she would be lucky to get anything out of them in the near future.

"Have her!" Laurent picked up the battered bundle that had been my wife for decades and pushed her towards me.

I picked her up projecting only disdain and took her along to be outside listening distance.

When I put her down carefully she scowled at me. "I do not need your pity!"

"Yes, you do. You can't be in that kind of environment without protection."

"Laurent…"

I ran my hands through my hair. Just how deluded was she about her new lover. "Alice, Laurent picked you up to gather information about the Cullens. He'll drop you like a hot potato once you've lost your usefulness."

"He loves me, he is my true mate, he's just a bit rough." She was trying to convince herself.

I shook my head. "Alice, if that were true, he would be taking care of you. He tortured you."

"He got an order…"

"I know, but he would be taking care of your wounds, and he would get you some blood." Her eyes had still been golden last night, so she was weak, and if they didn't let her feed she was in trouble. "You heard James, they're going to keep you weak, because they no longer trust you after you've shown your loyalty was to Edward, not to them." I had always known she was closer to Edward than anyone else. Sometimes I had actually suspected that she was not with him only because he refused.

She looked at me with frightened eyes, the truth dawning on her gradually. "They're going to keep doing that to me to make me give up Edward? Laurent would never…"

I nodded. "Alice, take a look at your future here, why don't you?"

More venom pooled in her almost overflowing eyes, then she swallowed and whispered something too quiet to hear.

"What was that?" I bent down.

"I said 'Kill me, Jasper!' Please, I cannot stand anymore of this… I saw… we're not going to succeed." She held on to my arms like a drowning woman.

"How do you expect me to explain that to the others?"

"Please", she whimpered, grabbing my arms tighter. "Do it, there's nothing for me here. I know you can find your way out of this, and you'll have Bella, but what about me? Not even Esme will take me back now…"

I sighed, thinking of Alice and how I had met her, our time together and how it had been her who had brought me to Carlisle and the possibility of a life without violence and hate. I nodded. "You have to give me a little time here first." I looked to her for agreement. She closed her eyes and nodded, sitting down on the ground in a posture that I had come to know over the time I spent with her. She was dreaming.

I drew up my plans for an attack on the Cullen house, prepared graphs and how to explain the idea to James in such unintelligible militarese that would have him confounded but impressed and then put everything aside to do my last duty for my ex-wife.

She opened her eyes again, looking at me fearfully. "I'll make it quick, don't worry!" She straightened herself, meeting my eyes.

"Now?"

"Wait! Jasper, you should know something. Victoria is going to convince James of giving Bella to Maria as soon as you're not paying attention. She thinks you deserve that for whatever you did to her back then."

I felt panic, that I was sure had nothing to do with Alice projecting. The idea of my angel in that monster's hand was enough to almost make me quiver with fear. No, I convinced myself. I would prevent that. Neither Victoria nor James was going to live long enough to accomplish that aim. "Thank you for telling me. Ready?"

"Yes. I always liked your smile", Alice whispered. I smiled a last smile for. Then I killed her and set her aflame.

Within seconds of the purple smoke rising that would only leave a small pile of ashes, Laurent and James were with me. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

I fixed them angrily. "Did you really expect me to let her live? She let Edward get away, who has my mate with him. He's probably hurting her right now. She had it coming." I turned back to the cabin. "My plans are ready. Do you want them?"

**As I said above, I had to struggle with this chapter. Leave me your opinion!**


	47. Chapter 47

**As always, twilight belongs to SM****.**

**S****orry to have kept you waiting so long, I'm translating my original story into German at the moment to try the German publishers (going to try the Americans this summer), and I can tell you, it's no fun!**

47

Bella's diary

The Cullen family was split right down the middle after Charlotte told everyone that Peter was with Jasper and James. While Rosalie and Emmett trusted Jasper to have a plan and wanted to wait for him to get back into contact, Edward had Carlisle convinced that Jasper had gone back to his old bad ways.

"I'm sorry, Bella", Carlisle told me, "but Jasper was never really easy with our way of life, and I have Esme to think of." Esme was almost trembling.

"But you know Jasper, you know how much he admires you. I don't understand."

"You don't see him the way we see him. Bella, I have met bad vampires in my long life, but Jasper has a bad reputation even for one of us. I'm sure he means no harm to you, but he is going to attack us here, and that is bad news. You can see how easy it is to turn us around, think of Alice." Carlisle was sad and disappointed. He looked as if his life's work had disappeared into thin air.

"Oh for god's sake!" Charlotte exclaimed exasperatedly. "Is that what you are going to do? Sit here like rabbits? I'm supposed to show you how to fight newborns, what about starting on that right now?"

Emmett chuckled. "I'm in, and I'd like to see the vamp who tries getting past Rosie when she's in a bad mood." Rosalie shook her head at him smiling.

"I've got to get Bella her transfusion first, then I'll join you", Carlisle got up and took me along to his study once more, where he fixed me with a blood bag in an IV. I tried not to look at the whole contraption and closed my eyes to dream of Jasper. I was sure he still was my tender vampire, not the monster the others made him out to be.

I almost missed the very quiet noise of another person in the room, but when I heard the click of the wooden door from behind which Carlisle had taken the blood bag, I opened my eyes. Edward was taking another bag out stealthily; his back was turned towards me. I heard a ripping sound then he threw his head back and drank deeply until the bag was empty. Ah, so much for re-joining the Cullen life-style. At some point I must have skipped a breath, because he turned to me fast as lightning – caught with his hand in the cookie jar so to speak.

I swallowed, not knowing what to do, alone in the room with a human-drinking vampire who had already once hurt me so bad.

My feelings must have shown on my face. "Bella, I won't hurt you; there's no need to look so scared."

"Stay where you are!" At least we had the expanse of Carlisle's study between us.

"This is not what it looks like", he said, throwing away the empty bag.

"Aha, and what is it?"

"I can't afford to go into withdrawal when we're under attack. You should understand that."

'Even someone as dumb as you should understand that' was what it sounded like in my ears, and I was once more certain why Jasper had attracted me so much more than his self-righteous brother. "Does Carlisle understand it?"

"What are you at my throat for? Jasper drank from you!" Accusing. From his tone I gathered that Carlisle did neither know nor agree with his procedure, and Edward was using attack as a way to defend himself.

"He was hurt."

"You think he is going to stop? That he will give up the chance of being back in charge of an army again? He'll kill James at the first opportunity he sees, and then he'll go to war. We're just the first target."

"Nonsense!"

"Do you really want to be Jasper's new newborn wife, waiting if he returns from battle? Sooner or later someone will kill him, the way he's swaggering about, and then you're alone for eternity."

"Jasper doesn't swagger, and he hates war."

"But you don't object to him turning you, right? In that case you should persuade him to turn you fast, because he'll not be able to keep you alive much longer; your blood smells far too sweet." He crossed the room at vampire speed. "Though the scent will change for a while from the transfusion." His voice was the usual velvety Edward voice, but his movements were those of a predator.

"Don't come near me!" I whispered, panicking.

"Why? I thought you liked real vampires, not mild-mannered vegetarians." He was bending down to me. My heart beat wildly, I couldn't run, not with the drip in my arm. Besides, Edward would get to me before I was even up. "Charlotte!" I called, hoping she would hear me in that big house.

The next moment the door was ripped open, and Jasper's friend was inside. I was about to breathe out, when she stopped in the doorway, swallowing hard. Of course, she couldn't go near me while I was on the drip.

Edward smiled and took hold of my arm, sniffing my skin.

A second later, Charlotte was pushed aside, and Edward disappeared from my side. I could see a hissing tangle of limbs across the room, then Carlisle came in and pulled the fight apart.

"Enough! If you can't behave, I'll have to check Bella into hospital. Now stop this silliness! We have more important things to do."

"You can't get her into hospital, James will track her there, I don't think you want that", Edward told Carlisle in his detached voice. The fight seemed to have been one-sided, even though I would have expected Emmett's brawn to win. Rosalie was comforting her husband, almost spitting with fury. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I was just talking to Bella." All innocence.

"Well, don't", Charlotte growled. "You might remember what you said earlier, Jasper is not going to be pleased."

"He wants to kill me anyway, what's the news?"

"He won't kill his brother, he wouldn't do that to us", Esme said with a choked voice.

I could see that she was the only one to think so, even Carlisle looked sceptical. Then he disconnected the by now empty bag from my arm. "There, that should do it. Edward, I want you to stay away from Bella for now, do you understand me?" He locked his eyes on his son in what was the sternest expression I'd ever seen on him. "Bella, I think you should lie down for a while, you look dead on your feet. Esme will get some fresh sheets for the bed…"

"I'll stay in Jasper's room, there's no need for that." Besides, I felt I needed at least his scent if I was to come through this somehow.

Charlotte followed me downstairs, a set expression on her face. Once we were in the room, she said "I'm sorry, Bella, he won't slip me again."

I waved the apology aside. "I know you couldn't come in, and Emmett dealt with it. Why did Edward come out on top in that?"

Charlotte cringed. "Well, that's what the problem here is, this whole vegetarianism stunt is fine as long as you're not fighting against normal vampires, and I think, that Eddie might have enjoyed quite a few square meals with James's coven."

I had suspected that as well. "Did he have the Newtons?" I asked in a small voice.

"It looks like it", said Rosalie, just coming in. "At least I found his scent mixed up with the Newtons at their shop, from which the whole family went missing late yesterday afternoon." She sat down on the bed with me. "How are you? Did His Creeps give you a hard time?"

"A bit, but I'm mainly worried about Jasper. You don't know how … horrible these people are where he is, they hurt him, and…" I broke off, I didn't want to cry.

"Please relax", Charlotte tried comforting me. "Jasper knows what he's doing, and if he gets too reckless, he's got Peter to put his head straight again. Peter said he'd call me tonight. Should I get you then?"

"Yes, please", I gave her a warm smile.

Rosalie squeezed my hand. "When he called me this morning, he sounded quite confident, besides, as long as this army is being trained by Jasper, I doubt he'll make them very efficient against us. Apart from that, he managed to get Edward out, who would certainly have betrayed him at the drop of a hat. What really gets me is how he wants to work around Alice. How could she get into that mess?"

"She kept saying she was with Laurent, it was like she had been …brainwashed or something." A huge yawn laid waste to my efforts at conversation. My friends noticed it and disappeared discretely.

I lay down between the sheets, breathed in Jasper's scent and dropped off to a dreamless sleep.

_**I know, I know, it's not the longest of chapters, but it's needed in between the last and the next. Don't forget to review!**_


	48. Chapter 48

**ooooofff! Finally, done! Have fun reading and reviewing!**

**thanks for all the new adds/reviews – you make me smile each morning!**

**twilight belongs to SM, but Graham is mine **

48

Jasper's POV

Laurent was about to go for me right there, when James stopped him. "Later." The treacherous vampire growled but submitted to his coven leader. Apparently the part of James coming down hard on his own people had been true – one of the few things Laurent had told us that was. James looked at me. "What is your plan?"

I proceeded to explain a plan of attack sounding like Lee at Gettysburg, only substituting the Cullen house for Little Round Top, and soon enough James's clueless face told me I had succeeded in completely confusing him. The feelings I got from him were mixed: pride to be involved with me on the one hand, but spite, envy and viciousness on the other hand – a raging inferiority complex if ever I saw one.

"Good, that will do I think", he brushed me off languidly. "By the way, I tracked your little human, she's right at the Cullen house, and you were correct, she's with Edward." He scanned my face calculatingly for my reaction.

Excellent, buddy, you just walked right into my trap, I thought, keeping a close guard on my feelings. I put on a mask of rage and narrowed my eyes into slits. "In that case, we proceed immediately. Are you go, Pete?"

"Yes, Sir", Peter answered, trying hard not to grin.

"Right, I want everybody ready to leave in an hour, so if you need to feed first, do it now!"

"We already did that", Victoria smiled, licking her lips lecherously. "You projected so much… good feeling last night when you had your bite of the little human, that we were all quite ravenous…"

"Enough", James interrupted her teasing. "I don't think the newborns should be fed, in my mind, they are much more aggressive if they are kept hungry, am I right?" He turned to me.

I forced myself not to shudder. James was definitely a male version of Maria. The sooner he was stopped the better for everyone. "Yes, you got that right, Sir", I said deferentially. "I however am not a newborn, and tasty as my mate is, I didn't want to drain her last night, so…"

"Yes, yes, and I'm sure you have to make up for your strange food error anyways if you want to be any use in battle", he almost waved me off. "Run along!"

Ok, not really a match for Maria: She would have smelt a rat at once. "Peter?" I asked, but he shook his head.

"I'm good, you fill up nice and well." Good, he would make sure the newborns were given the right, i.e. our instructions for the fight.

I ran out of earshot almost to Olympia where I picked up a kill that would seal James & Co's fate. Then I dug out my phone – another one of his many strategic mistakes, always make sure you are in control of communication – and called Charlotte to tell her that we would be with them soon. Afterwards I also contacted Emmett to get in touch with the wolves. My plan accomplished I made my way back to the wannabe general and his crew.

We took off at once, and were in the vicinity of the Cullen house within minutes – us because of our routine, the newborns from sheer strength. It never ceases to amaze me just how strong and fast our kind are in the first year, and on the run I started to dream about Bella in that state.

"Hey, pal, attention please", Peter nudged my elbow. "The way you're projecting, Victoria will jump James before we're even there, and Graham is already making eyes at you."

I shook myself out of my dream and concentrated on the task ahead. So far the plan was working out, I had picked up the wolf scent a moment ago, but neither of the nomads had commented, even though Victoria had wrinkled her nose at the stench.

As we had agreed, the Cullens met us outside – I could not really face having Esme's efforts at giving us a home soiled and destroyed by those beasts – and from then on, it was just like the old times, only this time the nominal general found himself not quite in charge of the proceedings.

I took James out first to make sure everyone knew where my loyalties lay and to be rid of that monster. He tried to put up a fight, and I have to admit, he was better than expected, but ultimately I had the element of surprise and experience on my side.

Two of the older newborns met with Charlotte's and Emmett's anger at the whole thing, and Riley managed to even enrage Carlisle by making a beeline for the supposedly vulnerable Esme. Apparently their intelligence had been weak on the point of Carlisle's love for his wife. I've never seen this gentlest of vampires lose his calm like that. Even though he had never had anything other than animal blood, he outfought the newborn easily by his intelligence and the force his fury gave him.

The wolves made quick work of one of the two older newborns, Peter took down the other, so now all that remained were Laurent and Victoria and the Indian. I turned my head to look for Laurent, determined to get some payback for my torture as well as that of Alice, not to mention his slurs on Carlisle, but before I could do anything, Jacob got in my way.

"Hey, stop it, Jake, he's with us!" Rosalie yelled, and I could see the others watching in horror at the huge russet wolf taking off to pounce on me with the clear and obvious intent of going straight for my throat. Instinct told me to defend myself by killing the beast attacking me, but as soon as I saw Bella's scared eyes, I knew she would be devastated if I killed her childhood friend. Before I could make a choice however, a huge form got in the way, and soon Jake and Graham went at it with a vengeance. There was no telling who would win this, especially as all we could see for a while was dust rising from the place where they had been. When the dust settled, we saw that Jake, though injured, had come out on top and was just about to tear Graham apart. Bella's eyes showed tears of relief, but then our attention was diverted: The huge black alpha barked an order, then threw himself at Jake to pull him off.

Everybody stared in shock. The only one concentrating was Peter, who was at my side in no time. "I told him not to leave your side, and he was true to his word", he whispered to me nodding to Graham. Now he was ready to defend me as soon as Jake was free to attack me again.

Bella came closer to the russet wolf, a desperate look on her face. "Jake, why would you attack Jasper, when he's with us?" What the hell was she doing outside where we were fighting?

Edward stepped forward with lightning speed and dragged her to a more sensible distance from the dangerous monster. I nodded to him. For once we were in agreement: Apparently I should not be within reach of Jacob Black, but neither should my fragile girl, not to mention that being close to Jake meant being within reach of a powerful newborn vampire at the moment.

The black alpha barked another order at the same time, and Jake let go of Graham. I ordered Graham to my side sharply, which he did at vampire speed, daring any of the wolves to come closer. All the energy deflated from the russet wolf suddenly, and he phased back, as did the black one.

"Jake!" Bella screamed. "Answer me!"

From the look Sam gave his pack member, his order must have been along the same lines. Jacob turned to her with a look of pure hatred. "You slept with him. I would never have agreed to let Edward go the night he brought you back, if I had known you were going to do that. Even when he said you were lost, I would not hurt you by killing your friend, but you let that undead monster into your bed…" He broke off, overcome with emotions, and suddenly I could see the teenage boy in him again. He really loved Bella, and apparently he had been easily talked into letting the hero who brought her back live. He was a good kid, who would do nothing to hurt the girl he loved, even when it hurt him, but apparently he had been close to the house this morning, and Bella and me making love had sent him over the edge. I felt for him. I had been there myself after all. His teenage moment passed quickly though, and he turned on Sam now, trembling with fury. "Will you explain since when we let vampires live?"

"Since they are Emily's cousin, which you would have heard, if you had been paying attention." It was clear, Sam was livid with rage. Oh, that was a complication for which there was no precedent as far as I knew. I turned to Peter who shrugged raising his hands.

Graham was looking on, confusion written all over his handsome face. Then he shook himself out of it and took up a fighting stance in front of me once more.

That must have been the moment when it happened. I heard a muffled scream from across the by now completely devastated yard in front of the Cullen house, and when we looked again, we saw Edward had fallen to the ground, and Bella was gone.

I swallowed hard and covered the distance within seconds, as did Peter to reach Charlotte, who lay next to Edward, writhing with pain. But I had no eyes for that now. The only thing that mattered was that I could no longer see Bella. I scanned the yard furiously, taking in two injured wolves, Rosalie taking care of Emmett and Esme snuggling up to Carlisle.

"Where are Laurent and Victoria?" I asked tonelessly, hoping against hope that Sam would point to some of the copious mounds of vampire remains within sight.

"Anyone! Where are the redhead and the traitor?" I heard my voice strained with emotion.

"He is a shield, he must have come close to me and knocked me out", Edward said with a small voice, not daring to look up to me.

"You let him take my Bella right under your nose?" Edward quivered, getting up fast, but not fast enough.

I had him by the neck in an iron grip, blending out all other noises. This time Esme was not going to stop me. Strangely enough, the back of my mind registered there was no objection coming from that quarter.

"They want to take her to Maria", I spat at my former brother and let him see some of my memories from her. His face contorted in terror, then I twisted his head off his shoulders and let it drop. I heard a gasp around the yard, but I didn't care, I had more important matters to deal with. "I don't care what you do with him; I have no time to burn him right now." Then I turned to leave.

"Where do you think you're going on your own?" Peter screamed at me in anger.

"To find Bella, what do you think?"

"Not without us, you aren't! Come alone, Char!"

"Jasper, I'm sorry, she got me before I could do anything", Charlotte told me in a croaking voice. She and Peter were at my side at once. I heard some other voices close to me, but didn't care enough to check whose they were. All I had time for was concentrating on how to get my angel back to me before she was lost forever.

_**A/N: I HATE(!) writing action chapters, far too much has to happen at the same time. Here however the whole thing is told from a vampire pov, so Jasper would literally have time etc to see everything (apart from the **__**all-important thing where Graham is in his way). Anyway, I had a little help with this chapter from my talented daughter - applause, please! Any errors or slips are mine, of course!**_


	49. Chapter 49

_**Thanks first of all for the reviews and adds!**_

_**twilight belongs to SM**_

49

Bella's diary

Everyone had told me to stay inside during the fight, but I could tell from the tension that they were worried, and it was my Jasper who was in the middle of it, with the mean vampires, all those wolves and Edward the traitor. Of course the idea of the sole human being out with all those blood-crazed newborn vampires made sense, but I figured that they would really be busy fighting. So as soon as nobody was paying attention, I snuck out the back door and carefully went to look at what was happening from a distance – not that there was a lot I could actually see, things were happening far too fast for me to make out details. The only thing I was reasonably sure about was that James was loosing, and that Jasper was still standing, looking gloriously terrible and fear-inspiring. I knew now why Maria had wanted him in her army and why the Cullens were sceptical and some of them afraid of him.

I could feel Charlotte by my side after a minute, telling me off for coming outside, then she broke off in the middle of her rant, and everything went quiet. I followed her eyes and saw a sight that almost stopped my heart: Jake was attacking Jasper. Luckily someone got in the way, but from the other wolves' reactions I could tell that that had not been part of the plan, and I became absolutely furious, dashing toward my friend and screaming out my stress and anger. Edward of course pulled me back, and for once Charlotte seemed to agree with him. Then suddenly someone knocked out Edward and pulled me away.

I could feel strong arms hoisting me onto someone's back, then running, and my first idea was that Jasper must have decided to take me away from all the horror. I could not have been more mistaken.

Laurent put me down in a clearing in the forest, and as soon as my feet touched the ground, I was looking straight into Victoria's eyes. Her face was contorted with rage and pain, her usually crimson eyes burning black.

"Right, I'm going to make this real slow, I think", she said more to herself than to her companion. With a shudder I realised that she was talking about killing me. I have never felt more alone, no one knew where I was, and I would never see Jasper again. This could not be true, there were still so many things I had to tell him, and… I closed my eyes.

"No, Victoria, think first!" Laurent's voice.

"Not now! Jasper killed my mate, so I'm going to take my time killing his; he needs to feel some pain in this."

Jasper had killed James, that made sense, and now she wanted revenge. My chances of getting out of this were very slim indeed.

Laurent intervened once more. "If you really want to punish Jasper – and I can assure you I want the same thing – then there is a much better way."

"Better than making her beg for death for hours?" Victoria sounded incredulous.

"Yes. Alice told me she is his singer as well as his mate. Let's keep her alive for a little. I'm sure he knows by now we have taken her. He will follow, but…" He raised his eyebrows at her, and recognition dawned in the catlike features of his companion.

"Right, you are a devious one. He will follow, but he can't really come close, not if he's in attack mode, he would kill her if he came close. So, that leaves him with the choice of letting us take her to Maria, or killing her himself. Either would be an exquisite revenge."

Laurent nodded to the devilish plan with a satisfied expression. "Yes, let's push him."

Victoria was gloating like a child who had had too many sweets. "Mm, he will go mad alone thinking about it, and I bet that heroic gentleman will let us take her to Maria, following right in our footsteps, and we can tell her we delivered him to her as well."

I felt cold, and something inside me had turned to stone. There was no way I wanted to see Jasper back with Maria; she had already hurt him enough. I gathered all the strength I could to make my voice sound firm and cleared my throat. "No, please. Kill me right here instead. I'm sure Jasper will be mad enough about that, if that's what you want."

"No, no, no, cherie", Laurent lightly brushed my face with his cold hand. "I think we'll stick to my way, we wouldn't want you to miss what your Jasper can actually be like, would we?" He turned to Victoria. "She met him with the Cullens, so she probably thinks he's all nice and civilised. I bet she has no idea of the kind of animal he is."

"He is not like you!" I told him, angry now.

He scoffed. "Of course not, that's how he got his reputation. The god of war is just a harmless tender, human-loving vampire." He took a Blackberry out of his pocket – Alice's by the look of it – and threw it to Victoria. "Here, take a picture!" Then he pulled me towards him in a close embrace and planted several kisses on my face while Victoria snapped away. "And now?" she asked when she was finished.

He held out his hand for the phone and caught it easily. "Now we sent a few pictures to Jasper to assure him she's still alive." He did so with a grin on his face.

I tried not to think about the pain that would cause Jasper, but I could not blend out all the negative thoughts swirling around in my head. Would he walk into their trap? Surely, he was more experienced than that. I could not bear his life ending over mine, and soon tears were falling down my cheeks. I wiped them away hastily, not wanting to give my captors the satisfaction of seeing me cry. I would not give in to their taunts, not while I still had some strength left, or they were still in possession of the phone. I was sure they would like nothing better than sending pictures of a miserable Bella to Jasper to make him even madder.

_**A/N: Right, I'll stop here and give you a view of the other camp in the next chapter! You could keep up my good mood by reviewing!**_


	50. Chapter 50

_**twilight as always does not belong to me, but to SM, I only own Graham and his storyline **___

50

Jasper's POV

Have to get back my mate. Follow tracks of the traitor and the red-head. Kill them and rescue my mate. Make no prisoners.

Have to get back my mate. Follow tracks of the traitor and the red-head. Kill them and rescue my mate. Make no prisoners.

Have to get back my mate. Follow tracks of the traitor and the red-head. Kill them and rescue my mate. Make no prisoners.

Have to get back my mate. Follow tracks of the traitor and the red-head. Kill them and rescue my mate. Make no prisoners.

Have to get back my mate. Follow tracks of the traitor and the red-head. Kill them and rescue my mate. Make no prisoners.

Have to get back my mate. Follow tracks of the traitor and the red-head. Kill them and rescue my mate. Make no prisoners.

Have to get back my mate. Follow tracks of the traitor and the red-head. Kill them and rescue my mate. Make no prisoners.

Have to get back my mate. Follow tracks of the traitor and the red-head. Kill them and rescue my mate. Make no prisoners.

**How dare he kiss my mate! I'll make him pay for that!**

Have to get back my mate. Follow tracks of the traitor and the red-head. Kill them and rescue my mate. Make no prisoners.

Have to get back my mate. Follow tracks of the traitor and the red-head. Kill them and rescue my mate. Make no prisoners.

Have to get back my mate. Follow tracks of the traitor and the red-head. Kill them and rescue my mate. Make no prisoners.

Have to get back my mate. Follow tracks of the traitor and the red-head. Kill them and rescue my mate. Make no prisoners.

Have to get back my mate. Follow tracks of the traitor and the red-head. Kill them and rescue my mate. Make no prisoners.

Have to get back my mate. Follow tracks of the traitor and the red-head. Kill them and rescue my mate. Make no prisoners.

Have to get back my mate. Follow tracks of the traitor and the red-head. Kill them and rescue my mate. Make no prisoners.

**BLOOD! Delicious, the best there is. I want more, more, more! You are not getting any of this, it's MINE! MINE ALONE! **

Have to get back my mate. Follow tracks of the traitor and the red-head. Kill them and rescue my mate. Make no prisoners.

Have to get back my mate. Follow tracks of the traitor and the red-head. Kill them and rescue my mate. Make no prisoners.

**They shed her blood, but she's still alive, I saw the picture. They stole her, she's mine!**

Have to get back my mate. Follow tracks of the traitor and the red-head. Kill them and rescue my mate. Make no prisoners.

Have to get back my mate. Follow tracks of the traitor and the red-head. Kill them and rescue my mate. Make no prisoners.

**Get out of my way! You're dead!**

Have to get back my mate. Follow tracks of the traitor and the red-head. Kill them and rescue my mate. Make no prisoners.

**What the f*******? Darkness**

Peter's POV

We had been in the red haze of the Major's rage and determination for three days now, and everybody's nerves were raw. Emmett and Rosalie had never seen him like that, and even Char and I were becoming tenser by the minute. We knew he was not going to stop until he had her back, but the way he was going about this was not going to work with Laurent and Victoria, whose devilish plan everyone but Jasper had figured out by now.

We were all quite desperate about that because it looked like it was definitely going to work. "You can't just follow him all the way to Maria", Char told me for the umpteenth time, keeping up with the furious pace Jasper was setting. We had crossed Oregon and were just coming into California, always sticking to the wooded areas to stay out of sight.

"I know that, we have to get him back to his senses soon, or he'll wreak havoc. It's not Washington State around here, there are humans, and we have a newborn with us." Graham was following Jasper like a little lap-dog, full of admiration. I think idolizing the Major was what kept the depression and guilt away that had overcome him after realising what he had become in the moments after the battle. The one time we stopped for all of five minutes, he went for a bear careless enough to cross our way and drained him fast enough for Emmett's eyes to almost pop out. He answered our questioning looks with "Blood is blood!" and went back to Jasper's side again. Emmett chuckled and sent a text message to Carlisle. Apart from all the other concerns I was not about to turn someone as pure as Graham over to Maria.

Suddenly Jasper stopped and sniffed. Then he tore off in the direction of a small town, stopping only when he reached the outskirts and a huge suburban house. He entered without hesitation, calling Bella's name. Thank god it was night. The rest of us followed carefully, trying to step lightly in case there were some humans left in here – highly unlikely, but you never knew.

We found the bodies of the house's inhabitants drained and carelessly tucked away in a closet. Jasper was standing in the living room, looking at a cell before he crushed it in his hand. Then he looked shocked, blurred up the stairs, and we found him in what was the master bedroom. He was holding up a sheet from the bed, his face a mixture of ecstasy and desperation. I saw the small bloodstain at once and held Char back. Emmett and Rosalie entered shouting questions at him, earning themselves a warning growl in return.

"Down!" I screamed pushing them into a submissive posture at the same time. "He's not your brother anymore!"

"I kind of noticed that", Rosalie whispered back sourly. "What do we do with him? He can't be like that forever."

Before I could answer, another problem had occurred. Graham, oblivious of Jasper's mood, had come in and reacted like all newborns would react to the smell of blood. He lunged for Jasper in a second. A split second later his head had come off and was rolling towards me.

"Right, that's it." I nodded to Emmett, and we went for him together. I distracted him successfully, and Emmett knocked him out.

A collective sigh of relief could be heard around the room.

Jasper's POV

I came to with Emmett sitting on me and Peter tense and ready to fight me if I made a wrong move. Blinking I tried to get my bearings. We were in the bedroom of a strange house. Rosalie was kneeling on the floor near the door with her head down.

Char was across the room with Graham and put him back together, explaining what had happened to him in soothing tones.

"Are you yourself or do I need to knock you out again?" Emmett asked, checking my face carefully.

I shook my head. Then bits of what we had been doing the past days hit me, and I started breathing hard, trying to shake Emmett off – no success.

"No, Jasper!" Peter's voice. "You need to calm down. We all want Bella back, but the way you're trying to do it will only get her and you both killed.

"They are bleeding her. How long do you think she's going to survive that near them? Laurent has already had a taste of her… We need to…" Suddenly I came up blank. I didn't know what to do. That made no sense, Peter was right. There was no way we could deal with a situation like that without at least some strategy. I swallowed, then met Peter's eyes. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. Can you explain what I've missed?"

"Thank god, you're back", Rosalie's voice sounded choked with tears.

Emmett got up from me and gave me a reassuring pat on the back while Peter explained what they had figured out about the kidnappers' plans.

"Phew, that was close", I admitted shaking my head. "Without you I would have stepped right into their trap, they kept taunting me to make me mad, and obviously Alice has told them about the singer stuff. But", I brightened considerably. "She did not tell them a very important detail."

"Which is?" Charlotte was not happy yet.

"Well… It seems that if I'm worried about Bella's wellbeing, her blood doesn't affect me." I told them about bringing Bella to hospital the night Edward hurt her.

"Ok", Peter said slowly. "That is good news, as long as you remember who you are. What was on the picture?"

"Picture? Ah, the one on the cell, another one of Laurent snuggling up to her. She's scared of him, he was James's torture expert, she saw what he can do", I took another deep breath, trying not to think of my angel scared out of her mind. When I noticed the thin silver line going round Graham's neck I flinched. "I'm sorry, mate, that was out of line."

Graham waved the apology away and started talking, something which surprised us all, he had hardly ever spoken so far. "I have been thinking. You should do something about Bella's disappearance from her home, or you'll have the whole FB Interference on her – and our – trail, which could be a real nuisance and make the kidnappers nervous, which is not a good idea. We'd better keep them in their little bubble of conceit for now until we approach them."

Everybody was keeping their chin from dropping, which the tall Indian didn't notice. He continued. "If you know where they are going, that actually gives us the advantage, i.e. we could…"

I nodded. "… come at them from the other side. Obvious."

"Obvious?" Emmett was incredulous. "This guy's a bloody genius. He's vegetarian by the way, Carlisle has already asked him to join the family if he wants."

"How did you come up with the idea?" Rosalie asked interestedly.

Graham shrank back into his usual shy self. "Well, it's what I used to do… I was with the tribal police and wanted to go to the academy in fall…"

Emmett smiled at him warmly. "I think Carlisle will find a way for you to do at least something like that."

"Ok", I said, getting up. "We need to contact Carlisle and get him to secure his end, even if it means have them fake her death, because we really don't need public attention when dealing with Maria. Apart from that, we have to use our contacts to find out where Maria was last seen. I definitely don't want us or them to reach her if it can be avoided."

"It's a shame you crushed the cell phone, we could have tried to locate them that way", Rosalie said.

I frowned at her. "Why?" Then recognition dawned. "Ah, you thought that was Alice's, which they used to send me the first picture. No, this was a different one, so they could still have Alice's. Can you do that?" I knew Rosalie had quite good hacking skills.

She nodded. "I could at least try, but I'd need a computer for that."

"Look around here, the place looks like money, they are bound to have some equipment. As soon as we know where we're heading we'll get some wheels and use the roads. Right, let's make some calls, it's not as if we could be running outside now." The California sun had come up, and we were literally stuck in suburbia until we either got a car with tinted glass or the sun went down again. But at least there was a chance at succeeding, and I didn't want to show just how much it meant to me that they had all come and put up with me for this long.

_**OK, folks, heading to the in-laws for the weekend for family Easter holidays. Have fun reading and reviewing.**_


	51. Chapter 51

*********Sorry for the long wait, but for the first time in two years I was having more fun reading than writing, and there are such a lot of good stories up on ff (check out oracle vas, and you probably already know Cullen 818 and malarial marie)**

*********anyway, I've also started work again, which might slow this thing down just a little, but the good news is, that by now I know how it's going to end **

********twilight still belongs to SM**

51

Jasper's POV

I could feel my humanity slipping away by the minute without Bella near. Slowly I realised that going into full vampire mode had in effect been a way of protecting myself against this part of being away from her, but my friends had me convinced that I was more use in finding her if I kept y wits about me.

We had one full day to put our minds to the tasks ahead. Rosalie hacked into each and any source she could think of to try and locate Alice's phone, while Emmett and I called every vampire from a list provided by Carlisle, who could have even a remote clue as to where Maria could be these days. Graham e-mailed everyone he had met at a recruiting seminar for the FBI academy to find out where in the US there had been suspicious killings or disappearances (other than North-western Washington State). Char and Peter did the same kind of research using online newspaper archives. After six hours we were frustrated as hell and about ready to give up on the whole thing to go back to following the tracks Laurent and Victoria were leaving for us. I threw my phone across the room in desperation. It landed on a hideous overstuffed sofa and started beeping indignantly.

"Yes", I barked at the little machine once I had gotten hold of it.

"Jasper?" A slightly out-of-breath voice sounding very young.

I frowned. "Who is this?"

"Seth Clearwater. I don't have much time, I had to scrounge for the money to use this phone already. Bella…"

What was the small wolf doing phoning me? Wait! "What? Where are you?"

"In Phoenix. I followed the two vamps who took Bella…"

"Give me the number of the phone, I'll call you back!"

He rattled off the number at high speed and just about managed before the connection was cut.

With shaking hands I dialled and almost dropped the phone when he answered in that schoolboy voice of his. "Seth Clearwater?"

"Seth, take your time and tell me what happened!" At Peter's prodding I turned the phone on speaker.

"Ok. Well, Sam didn't want me in the fight, so he ordered me to stay out of it."

Ah, the wolf-alpha order – sometimes I had wished that also worked with vampires. "But how did you…?"

He didn't let me finish. "He didn't tell me to stay at home, so I figured I would come and look and maybe make sure no one was getting your back. I saw the pair of them dragging Bella away and was sure that you wouldn't agree with that, so I followed."

"You have been following two running vampires for four days?" Rosalie was in awe as were the rest of us.

"Yes, I told you I was fast." We all could hear him beaming with pride.

"Bella?" I reminded him of the topic I wanted to hear about.

"Of course", he snapped to attention again. "They took her to Arizona because they had heard that some other vamp was keeping some kind of army near Tucson. I think they wanted to hide with them or something." He raised his voice at the end of the sentence, obviously wondering about vampire armies.

"More the something", I said, fighting not to give in to my panic.

"Ah", apparently he had heard my apprehension. "Jasper, are you ok?"

"Tell me about Bella!" I growled, finally losing my temper.

"She got away." He sounded triumphant.

"Come again?"

"She ran. She escaped them. One minute they were walking her into the airport together, the next they were all flustered and running around like headless chicken, hissing about her being gone."

"Bella escaped two vampires?" I still couldn't believe it. Emmett was chuckling. "You better watch out for your mate, she might get the run on you some day."

"Why were they at the airport, they would be faster running to Tucson", Peter wondered.

"I didn't really get it, I could only come that close to them without their noticing me."

"Would she go to the police?" Graham asked.

"No", Seth answered. "I checked back with Forks, Charlie hasn't heard from her."

"When did you call?" I said, wanting to know what Carlisle had been doing about her disappearance so far.

"This morning. I called Jake."

We all could hear the bad conscience. "Seth, you're doing great. Stay put, we're coming down with the next flight."

"I'll try", in a small voice.

"What's the matter?" Rosalie said.

"Sam is not going to be happy about me…"

Of course not, he had probably disobeyed hundreds of wolf-rules. "Don't worry for now", I tried to comfort him. "Get yourself a room near the airport, I assume you need that to clean up etc."

"I don't have any money, I already stole the pants I'm wearing…" Suddenly he sounded like the fifteen year-old he was again.

"Get a pen and memorize this number", Rosalie told him and gave him her credit card number. "Then you go to the airport hotel and tell then you're my little brother and get a room. We'll get you from there."

Emmett hid a smile looking at his wife: It was clear that little Seth Clearwater brought out Rose's maternal instinct. No one, not even the pack leader was going to give this boy hell as long as she had a say in it.

"Ok", Charlotte looked up from the laptop. "We've got tickets and half an hour to be at the airport, let's go!"

"Go how?" Peter frowned.

His mate let out a long-suffering sigh. "As if this was the first car you shorted in your long life!"

"You're such a criminal. How did you pay for the tickets?"

"I didn't, Jasper did. Are you waiting for anything special?" With a smug smile she opened the door and led the way. Most of our group followed her open-mouthed. After my performance the last few days they would not have dared to behave like that, but then again: Char and Peter knew me best.

As for me, I was completely caught up in the idea of seeing Bella again soon.


	52. Chapter 52

52

Bella's diary

I'm still frightened out of my mind even though neither Laurent nor Victoria is with me any longer.

Whatever Edward told me about vampires being monsters is most certainly true; I've seen it firsthand when James had me kidnapped and now again with those two. Their plan to take revenge on Jasper was devilish, and when it turned out that I was about to drop off Laurent's back with fatigue at four o'clock on the third day, I saw what they do to humans. They simply went into a house on the outskirts of a suburb as if they owned it. When the sleeping inhabitants showed up, Laurent and Victoria went for the woman at inhuman speed and drained her with her husband dumbstruck and watching horrified. The poor man then screamed for me to get out, but it was too late, they got him right on the stairs as well. After they were done …feeding (that had nothing to do with humans eating or drinking! Surely Jasper and the Cullens are different?), they simply shoved them into a closet. I might be selfish and hard-hearted, but all the while I was looking for a way out. So even though I was about to drop off my feet from lack of sleep, I had kept inching closer to the front door in the hope of somehow making it outside and back to civilisation, but of course Laurent saw me and dragged me back. I thought I was done for when I looked into his crimson eyes and saw the blood smears on his chin. Surely now he would want some desert and share me with Victoria. Well, at least that would save Jasper from the results of their plan, but still, I' so young…

It turned out however that Laurent just wanted Victoria to take some more pictures of him with me so they could send them to my poor darling to make him mad. Afterwards he had an even 'better' idea and took me to a bedroom where he scratched me to shed some blood. This beast is trying to make Jasper think they were drinking from me. I tried to kick him, but he just laughed and started making out with me. I felt sick all of a sudden and when he saw that he let me go and rush to the bathroom for my first five minutes alone in all the time I was with them.

It was hopeless to think I could get away, but then my luck changed: I must have gone to sleep on the bed at some point, because I was woken by Victoria poking me awake painfully, and the running started again. At the first light of dawn, I saw surroundings that looked vaguely familiar, half an hour later I was sure: We were in Arizona and just about to enter the outskirts of Phoenix itself. Unfortunately, we passed my old hometown to go further south toward Tucson. We stopped in a secluded wooded area just outside Tucson and met with yet another vampire with greedy eyes as soon as he saw me. He was disappointed at finding out that he couldn't have me and wanted to leave, but Laurent was not having that. After a fight and a dispute he told my captors (not voluntarily – Laurent again, ugh!) that Maria had since moved her army to the east coast. Before I could figure out what that would mean for my fate, Victoria killed the other vampire. I must have blacked out somewhere along the line and only came to in a hotel room.

"What…?" I started asking, but Laurent interrupted me at once. "Don't get your hopes up, we're flying over to Kentucky and leave some trail for Jasper to find. Here!" He pointed to a piece of hotel stationary and made me write letter to Jasper telling him where to find us. I complied – what choice did I have? – and hoped Jasper would never find that piece of paper.

Soon after I was finished, Victoria came out of the bathroom towelling her hair, and I realised they had taken the room to clean themselves up for the flight. She was dressed quite fashionably in a white business suit, while Laurent was in a dark blue one that looked really strange on him.

"What are you waiting for, get dressed!" She barked at me, pointing to some clothes on the bed. I didn't want to know where they had gotten them or the money to pay for the room.

"Oh, why are these humans always so slow?" Victoria complained and shoo-ed me along.

"Can I use the bathroom?" I asked shyly. I definitely wanted (and needed) a shower and some fresh clothes, but I did not want to change in front of Laurent. She just rolled her eyes, and Laurent bowed me to the bathroom with a sardonic smile.

Once I had closed the door behind myself, I smiled myself. We were back in Phoenix, and there was something about the airport that I knew, what's more, the chances of them knowing were quite slim. So I transferred money from my wallet to my panties and when I got out I had a plan for an escape.

No one who saw us entering the airport that day would have suspected that the stunningly beautiful businesswoman in the short skirt and her companions were vampires and their kidnap victim. They wore sunglasses to cover their red eyes and kept me close enough to keep me in check. Victoria had even thought about luggage and had filled two small cases with the dirty clothes we had been in for so long. I waited for the moment when she went to the check in desk to tell Laurent that I really needed to use the bathroom. He rolled his eyes at my performance of crossing my legs s if I was absolutely desperate, but finally gave in in order not to attract unwanted attention. That was what I had been waiting for. I left him waiting outside the ladies' bathroom for me, went out the other door immediately and ran for my life. After taking a lift for the arrivals lounge, I caught a bus for one of the big hotels just outside the door. I had not seen anyone following so far, and I was sure they would try to stay inconspicuous, so they could not risk being seen running at vampire speed. If my luck held, they were still waiting for me to come out the door I had gone in.

My money and a lot of convincing got me a taxi to our house, where I paid off the driver with mom's emergency money. When he drove off, I closed the door behind me with a sigh of relief. I had made it, and I was reasonably sure the vampires could not follow my scent when I was going by bus or cab. I swallowed hard and for the first time in four days let go of my held breath – at least, that was what it felt like. Now I had to reach Jasper and tell him where I was and things could finally be alright.

Jasper's phone was busy, but I kept trying until I realised I had a much more immediate problem. HUNGER! I had kept telling Laurent and Victoria that I didn't need anything whenever they remembered I was human, and most of the time with them I was too nauseated to eat anyway, but now my legs started wobbling and I felt ravenous.

I went to the kitchen and got a frozen meal to nuke as first course. After I'd wolfed that down, I went for a tub of ice-cream at locust speed, helping the stuff along with lots of water. Ah – better. Still no answer from Jasper's phone. None from Rosalie's either. What would I do for food tomorrow? The money for the taxi had taken care of the emergency stash in the coffee can. Thoughts about money brought me to remembering my wallet which Victoria had taken to check me in. I drew a sharp breath. Was there anything in my wallet that would give away this address? I panicked, and for a while I expected the vampires to walk into my mother's house any second now. They had probably just kept me eating for fun or because I would taste better after a tub of chocolate ice-cream. When I finally came down from my panic, I was fairly sure that the only ID in the damn thing was my license which gave the Forks address. However, it was now absolutely clear to me that the house was not as safe as I thought it was. I walked the living room for twenty minutes before a solution came to me. I knew where to go and how to leave a clue to Jasper if I couldn't reach him in time.

As a last minute thought I tried to call Charlie who must by now be out of his mind with worry about me (and probably had the police go after Jasper), but I could not reach him either. Not even the machine was on – odd, but then again: what had not been these past few days?


	53. Chapter 53

_**thank you, thank you, thank you for all the reviews and new adds – you keep making my day! I will take some time soon to answer the reviews, too **___

_**twilight still doesn't belong to me**_

53

Jasper's POV

Charlotte had got us on the next plane with her usual efficiency and we landed in Phoenix soon after. Graham really is an extraordinary guy; he managed the flight without a hitch, even though most new vampires need almost a year before they are able to fly in such close proximity to humans. Emmett and I kept him in between us, but we needn't have worried – it looks like we got a Native American Carlisle on our hands.

As soon as we got out of the plane we made a beeline for the hotel with Seth and found him munching his way through what suspiciously looked like a three course meal for a family of four with a huge smile on his face. Rosalie chuckled and looked to us to give him time to finish.

"Ipft's ok. A con tolk amd shew", Seth welcomed us, shovelling more food at an alarming speed. In my human life I had seen soldiers eat like that after days of hunger, but maybe that was what the boy had been through, following two running vampires for thousands of miles. Nevertheless, I needed information, now.

"No, you can't. Swallow what you got, then talk!"

"Jasper, let the boy eat!" Rosalie.

"I think the evidence of this table shows he's not starving anymore", I contradicted, and Seth's eager face showed he agreed.

He emptied a huge glass of apple juice, wiped his mouth daintily with the linen napkin and took a deep breath. "Ok, well, as I told you before, Bella ran. I watched closely, because I thought if the vamps split up, I might be able to take them down separately, but the only time they split up, she was in the bathroom, and I could not follow her there. The dark guy waited outside the door for ten minutes, then he rushed inside and came out empty-handed – caused one hell of an uproar, one elderly lady called security on him. Apparently Bella disappeared into thin air in there. Maybe we can track her down if we all try… sniffing her out, only that would have to happen at night, because I can't really go there in wolf shape…"

"I don't think that's necessary", I said. "I think Bella went someplace she knew."

"Of course", Rose slapped her forehead and flinched from the impact. "Ouch – haven't done that in decades. She's from Phoenix, maybe she just went to her old house."

"Jasper, check your phone, I'm sure she tried to contact you as soon as she got away from them", Charlotte said.

I almost imitated Rose and checked. Indeed, I had missed a call when we were on the plane. It was a Phoenix number. Damn! She couldn't text because she didn't have her cell. I felt my rage boiling up again.

Peter had been looking over my shoulder and knew what was bothering me. "Try a reverse directory for the number!"

Rosalie was already on the phone to reception for one when Graham shook his head at us. "Technophobe palefaces, sometimes I wonder how you managed to get the better of us for all your metalworking and gunpowder. Try the number!" Then he shut himself off again – hotels also were no great places for newborns. I nodded to Emmett mouthing 'Get him out; I'll call you as soon as I know where we are." My sensitive brother got it at once and left with Graham to get him out of his pain.

I called the number but got no answer.

The reverse directory told us it was the number of Ph. and R. Dwyer and gave an address. So she had gone back to her old house. I phoned the address through to Emmett, had Rose hire a car and got the outfit going. I knew that Victoria and Laurent would also be looking and only hoped that we had the advantage over them for once.

Rosalie spent the car-trip fussing over Seth, who was trying in vain to ward off her motherly ministrations, especially the one about calling home. He did accept the opportunity to go shopping for clothes with her as soon as this was over though. We arrived at the house an hour later and found it empty, that is, we could tell there was no heartbeat inside, which could mean different things: either no one was there, or they had found Bella and had murdered her, or they had found her and taken her away gain.

On the road Carlisle had reached me on the phone, telling me that Maria was suspected to be near Richmond, Virginia. That was a relief, if (big if, and I did not allow myself to think that) Laurent and Victoria were not on the way to her with my girl. Char noticed how tense I was and put her hand on my arm. "Relax, Jasper, it will be alright, and you're not helping anyone if you lose control."

I shook myself and broke into the house stealthily. The others followed, ready to fight. We had asked Seth to go round the back in case there was someone there. In fact, I didn't feel too good about him phasing in such close proximity to us in a small house. Besides, he was much too young to be involved in what could potentially become a very dirty fight. Rose threw me a thankful smile; she must have been thinking along the same lines.

We spread out on the ground floor – empty. Bella's scent lingered in the air though, and I greedily sucked it in. No scent of vampires yet, good, so maybe we had actually been faster than them. I followed Bella's scent around the place. She had been in the living room, the kitchen – ah, eating – and the bathroom. My frustration was growing. I checked last numbers on the phone, mine, Rosalie's and Charlie's, then mine again. 'Think!' I told myself. 'What would she do? She is clever, she probably figured out the place was not that safe. If she did that, she also knew, she couldn't leave a note about her whereabouts lying around, in case the wrong people might see it.' Where would I hide a note? I came to stop, then dashed back to the kitchen and checked the notice board. Right, smack in the middle was an advertisement for new kitchens with an arrow pointing to the floor. I ripped it down and read the back: "What I can't do" was written in her smallest handwriting, highlighted with a yellow marker.

"Jasper?" Peter said softly, and I realised that I must have turned quiet for quite a while now.

"Yes?"

"Where is she?"

"I'm not sure, she's given me a clue, but I don't… Wait! Get me the phone book!"

Charlotte threw the book at me at once and I started leafing through it before I noticed the mistake. "No, the yellow pages!"

"Ok", she tossed the right one. I ripped it into five pieces and distributed them while I explained Bella's clue. "Look for something she absolutely can't do. Search!"

For the next few minutes only the turning of pages could be heard. Vampires read fast, and apparently Seth was no sloth in the brain department either, but it still was too slow for my taste. It took a lot of discipline to calm down enough to concentrate.

"Hmm, delicious baking, no, can't be, the pie was heaven." Seth was murmuring to himself.

"Weight lifting? Weight lifting?" Peter looked around.

I shook my head. "She does all the shopping and washing for Charlie, that's quite a lot of hauling heavy objects around."

"Great", Rose grumbled and went back to reading. "Hey!" She made everyone jump.

"What?" We asked in unison.

"Here, there is this ballet studio, "Move elegantly", the address can't be that far from here, and Bella told me her mother sent her to ballet just down the road as a little girl."

"Excellent!" I was up. "Let's go!" I was sure she was right, Bella and me had laughed about Renee's idea of trying to make her daughter less clumsy by sending her to ballet class. We checked the location for the studio on the town map near the telephone and set off on foot after I had texted Emmett the address. It was literally down the road.

We had no idea just how careless we were.


	54. Chapter 54

phew! I just played a set of songs at Bonn's open mic (check at myspace/openmic-bonn or ), translated quite a bit of my first original novel into German and had some fun reading other excellent fanfics. Not to mention my second week back at work.

twilight still doesn't belong to me, but a keyboard with very moody keys does (a week ago 'I' wasn't working, now it's 'a' and 'm'). So if you can't read some words, just dd missing letters… ;-)

hve fun reading and reviewing!

54

Bella's diary

Luckily Renee had been friends with Marguerite, the owner of the ballet studio, and the two of them had often left keys with each other, so that I could actually get into the building, which did not only house the studio but also Marguerite's small flat. Even more luckily, she was not at home – explaining my business would have been somewhat problematic.

I was not comfortable entering her private space, and I also needed Jasper to find me, hopefully, so I slipped into the studio and hid in one of the small dressing rooms. After half an hour the doubts started to set in: Had I done the right thing? Had I overlooked something and my captors would find me again? Was Jasper even really looking for me still or had he become wise to Laurent's plan and stopped tracking us?

After that blissful short time of no worries at my old home, panic set in again, and I thought that one would not need to be a vampire to be able to hear my heart beating loud enough to find me in my hiding place.

Sure enough, after a while I heard Laurent's voice ringing out cross the expanse of the big empty room with the mirrors and the bar. "Hello Cher', come out to ply with us! You don't think you can really hide from us, no?"

Damn! How had they found me?

"She's hiding over there", Victoria's scoffing voice came next.

While I was still thinking frantically of a way out, they had made it to the dressing room, and Victoria pulled me upright brutally and dragged me back to the big room. I drew a sharp breath at my wrist being pulled that way, surely she had caused some injury.

"You didn't think we would let you get away? It was so easy finding your home address, it was on the library card in your wallet. Humans are stupid generally, but you certainly top it all." Her tinkling little girl voice was full of spite, and she shoved me over to Laurent. "Here, change of plan: I want you to hurt her, slowly, with some luck Jasper will get here in time to find her dying. Start!"

I'm sure all colour left my face, and had Laurent not been grabbing me, I would have fallen down. I had seen what he had done to Jasper and to the other vampire in the clearing. Besides, whatever he did to me would hurt worse. "Please…"

"Oh well," Victoria cried out, rolling her eyes at her companion. She pulled me back to her and drew me close. "If you're not up to it, I certainly am. Now, what do you say we start with a bit of tossing you around?" She hissed at me from behind my shoulder. I held my breath. She would throw me about like a ball, which with all the mirrors and glass round was not a good prospect for my future. At least I assumed, it would not last long once I started bleeding.

I felt her tightening her grip and squeezed my eyes shut, hoping for the best, that is, and the first blow to kill me or render me unconscious. Because of that I did not understand when she was pulled off me the next second and I could feel someone carefully holding me up. Irritated, I opened my eyes just in time to see Jasper ripping off her head and tossing it across the room. It landed in a corner and with all the mirrors we were left with the eerie sight of several bodiless Victorias staring at us in horror. I turned away and saw that Peter and Rosalie had Laurent pinned down between them. Charlotte was still propping me upright, or I would have collapsed. Jasper quickly looked over my body, checking for injuries. When he found none, he closed his eyes and gave me a quick kiss, but stepped away again fast. "Get her out of here and don't let her out of your sight!" he commanded.

"No, Jasper, please stay with me", I protested at once, but Charlotte simply lifted me to carry me out into the hall.

I squirmed against her, trying to turn to my lover. When I saw him next, he was giving off a vicious snarl that made my skin creep with fear, and I saw him eyeing Laurent with a hatred I had never before seen on anyone. It was clear he wanted to fight him to the death.

"No! Please, Jasper, just get out, don't fight! He will hurt you!" I was still screaming and writhing after the door had long been closed behind us, hitting out against the strong cold arms holding me.

Finally another pair of arms pinned me down successfully. "Bella, can you please calm down?" Peter's voice, completely exasperated.

"No, Jasper is in there with that monster. I know he wants to hurt him, but Laurent will cause him pain again and I…"

Sounds of screams as I had never heard before could be heard through the door, and my knees almost gave in. "No!" I struggled against my restraints again.

Peter sighed. "Bella, Laurent has hurt Jasper several times, Jasper will kill him."

"He doesn't have to, I'm fine…" Another scream. I shuddered.

"Yes, he does", Peter explained patiently. "I know you probably know Jasper as the nice friendly boy, but he is not human, he is a vampire and Laurent hurt his mate. He needs to kill Laurent now, or he will feel bad. You don't need to worry about the Major; he has not lost a fight yet."

"If there was a risk of him getting hurt, we would be in there with him", Charlotte added and gently stroked my hair.

I slowly began to relax marginally, and for the first time took in who had come to my rescue. "Rosalie?" My friend was curled on the opposite wall, clearly as unhappy with the growling and snarling as I was. Little Seth Clearwater had his legs drawn up to his chest and his hands over his ears. "Seth? What are you doing here?"

Rosalie smiled and wrapped an arm around the boy. "He led us to you, he's a real hero!"

"That was nothing", Seth said at once, blushing furiously.

"Where is Emmett?" I worried. Had he gotten hurt in the fight? Please, don't let him be hurt!

"He'll catch up with us soon", Rosalie said.

"OK, are you calmer now?" Peter asked, letting go of my arms.

I nodded.

"Good, because I need you to tell the Major what happened, or he will take my head off when he smells me on you."

"He would never do that", I shook my head at him, and his winking showed that he had just been teasing as well. I think I will get along with Peter and Charlotte.

The screaming was finally getting quieter, and I was counting the seconds before I could see Jasper again, when someone opened the front door.

A black-haired woman led the way; four enormous men were following her. From her pallor and her beauty I deduced she was another vampire as were her companions. Peter and Charlotte almost shrank back into the walls when they saw her. When she reached where we were sitting at the top of the stairs, she started sniffing Rosalie and me before telling her escorts to get a hold of me and not to let me go.

"What is going on?" I asked, not understanding this new development.

She looked at me with an expression of pure hatred. "I've finally found Jasper again, and you're going to help me keep him." Then she entered the hall where Jasper was.

The tall vampire she had left with me kept a close hold on me, and I could tell he was not breathing.

Peter and Charlotte looked frustrated and out of their depths, and when I turned a questioning look on them, Charlotte mouthed "Maria".

I swallowed. So she had found him again. I closed my eyes, hoping against hope that this would turn out to be a bad dream.


	55. Chapter 55

_**Sorry, there will be a cliffhanger **__**at the end of this one, but I had to stop somewhere and you already got a chapter last night…**_

_**still don't own twilight, still problems with the ***** keyboard**_

55

Jasper's POV

I screamed out my satisfaction and release and sank to my knees. Finally they couldn't hurt Bella anymore. Then the first conscious thought entered my vampiry brain: Bella – I had to get back in control before I saw her or I would frighten her as much as these monsters had. I swallowed. Probably I already had, she must have heard the sounds coming from this room. Well, there was nothing for it, and as I planned on changing her as soon as possible, she might as well get used to some aspects of this life.

Get organised! I had Laurent in several pieces and was about to throw a lighted match at his remains and those of Victoria, when the door opened and I heard a voice I had never wanted to hear again.

"Hello Jasper!"

If my heart had still been beating I am sure it would have stopped. What was she doing here?

My question must have been easy to read on my face, because she answered. "I heard that someone was looking for me, which could either be an army or someone with news about you. There had been no movements of any sort lately, so I assumed the later to be true. I planted spies in several places, in case it was the Volturi, and then made sure I was known to be on the other side of the continent, when all the while we were watching what went on here. Then yesterday this Victoria creature called me and offered your mate." Her gaze at me was disgusted. "A human? really?" Waves of jealousy were rolling from her, and I sensed that she definitely meant to hurt Bella, no matter what she would promise.

"A bit on the graceless side, isn't she? Not a beauty either, I must say."

I growled at her talking about Bella like that, but she merely looked amused. "Oh, Jasper, I'm not grudging you, you can take her along, she's a feisty little creature, probably make a good newborn fighter as well."

My brain clicked off and I pounced on her. That was obviously what she had been aiming for and she sidestepped me easily – she had a hundred and fifty years on me after all. She didn't even flinch when I turned and crouched facing her again. "No, Jasper, you are not going to attack me. I've come to take you back into my service, and I want loyalty. You know that!"

"You can't make me fight for you again", I hissed. "I'd rather die before I went anywhere near you again."

She came closer to me and drew her finger lovingly across the scar on my neck, my first one. "You might, but I'm not so sure how you feel about your Bella…"

The floor dropped out of my world. "What have you done to her?" Of course, she had come through the hall where I had sent Bella. She never travelled lone she had probably given my angel to her guard, the biggest and most brutal creatures she created. I tried in vain to stop the pictures in my head. I knew what they could do to a vampire, let alone a human girl. I slammed my hand through the nearest wall in frustration and regret. While I had been indulging myself with revenge, they had taken my mate whom I had sent their way.

"She's outside with my guard. You see, I was quite sure you would need some persuasion to come back to me after you had taken so much trouble to stay invisible for such a long time. And yes, Jasper, I can make you fight for me: If you want your little human safe, you will."

"You won't let her go anyway." Damn, she was enjoying herself. This was just the kind of game Maria loved.

"Of course not, the Volturi would come for us at once. Let's say, I keep her with me, to ensure your… cooperation. I would change her of course, can't have a blood-bag walking the compound…"

Think! I ordered myself, but my fear was getting the better of me. Maria was going to introduce my angel to the hell she had made me live through. She would have me watch Bella change in the most painful way she could devise and train her to fight, and when she had outlived her usefulness, she would find way to kill her. Someone must have taken over my job. Or Bella would be killed in one of those useless battles, or die from Maria or her latest consort having some fun torturing the newborns. I could not envisage my angel in that kind of environment; I had always imagined us together with the Cullens or Charlotte and Peter. There was far too much love and humanity in Bella to survive even the first few months in a place with Maria near. "Let her go, and I'll come with you."

She made a show of thinking about my suggestion for a while, but dismissed it with a shrug. "Can't do that, Jasper darlin', the Volturi, you know."

"As if you ever cared about them" I scoffed.

"True, but you know your buddy Carlisle is actually friends with Aro, and I'd rather not risk having to account for Bella when he finds me. Now come on, Jasper, we can't stay here all day, we have some planning to do for the next campaign." She pulled me out the door and snuggled up to me. "We also have some catching up to do in another department. I'm sure your little human has nothing on me there." She placed a kiss on my lips and only fear for Bella kept me from snarling and biting her head off.

Bella's diary

Once again we were waiting outside for Jasper. Two of the four men that had come with Maria were guarding the door, while the third stood lookout at the front. The fourth had turned into a sculpture at my side his grip tight around me body. The only part I could still move was my head, and I looked to the others for guidance on what to do. They were all preoccupied though.

Peter had his arm around Charlotte and looked as tense and frightening as I had never seen him before.

Seth had bridled at the entrance of the new vampires, he had actually started shaking bodily, and Rosalie had tried to calm him down, when suddenly his head snapped up as if someone had called him. After that he had retreated to his place again, putting himself slightly in front of Rosalie as if to protect her. I could see she had noticed that as well, and saw her biting down a smile.

Then the door opened, and Jasper came out with Maria hanging on to him like a climbing plant. I felt sick at the sight, something which she seemed to enjoy. She snuggled up to hi even closer and kissed him. Something like a little growl made its way up to my throat at that, and she snickered before turning back to oozing power and danger. She hooked her arm through Jasper's and addressed the people in the hall. "As you can see, the Major has decided to come back to fight with me again." At the mention of fighting with her Jasper looked more pained than he had when Laurent had been torturing him.

My anger exploded. "No way!" I screeched. "And take your hands off him. Don't you dare hurt him any more!"

At my outburst Jasper went rigid, and the man holding me looked to his leader for an order.

Maria however was unfazed. "Ah, you have so much to learn, Bella. But then, you could not have any idea about what I and Jasper had. Do you really think, you weak little human could be the Major's mate?" She threw her glorious shining wavy black hair over her shoulder again and whispered something into Jasper's ear. He relaxed and bent down to kiss her passionately.

I felt sick; it was as if every light in my life had just gone out. I looked at Jasper pleadingly but he only gave me a cold stare and said. "Bella, be quiet, you don't understand any of this."

I was still grasping for something to say to that when I heard Rosalie. "What? Jasper Hale, you bastard. How can you be like that to her?"

Maria snickered and turned to Jasper to stagewhisper. "Seems like the ice-queen isn't too impressed with you right now, cowboy." Then she addressed Rosalie directly. "You're free to leave!"

Rosalie got up at once and held out a hand to me. "Ok, come on, Bella, Seth, we're out of here!" Seth got up, but looked from her to Jasper, obviously not sure what to do. I still couldn't move against the iron grip of the vampire.

"No!" Maria told Rosalie. "Bella stays exactly where she is, she is coming with me."

Peter's head snapped up at that. Then I saw him exchanging a glance first with Jasper, then with Charlotte. They kissed briefly and then attacked the vampire holding me together. I could feel him pulled away from me but I could not make out anything about the fight that ensued, other than Maria and Jasper simply standing by.

I let Rosalie grab my hand and pull me toward the door, not sure how far we would make it or how to get past the mountain of a man blocking it, when suddenly everybody's attention was diverted by the growl of an animal. Seth had phased and was set to attack Maria.

_**düdelüdelü (*whistles then ducks under desk*) – leave your opinion!**_


	56. Chapter 56

56

Bella's diary

Rosalie stopped in her tracks, and cried out to Seth in horror. The wolf did not heed her and threw himself in the direction of that hateful vampire. I half expected Jasper to get in front of her and shield her, but he remained passive, which did not help Seth at all. Maria simply flicked the enormous wolf away like one would an annoying fly. Seth hit the wall hard and stayed down, no sound coming from him. Rosalie screamed and jumped in Maria's direction only to hit one of the guarding vampires who started a fight with her. Another one took hold of me and brought me back upstairs where Maria grabbed me hard and pulled me towards her. The fight between Peter, Charlotte and the other guard was still going on, but I could not see Jasper anymore. In fact, I couldn't see a whole lot of anything other than very fast movement and I heard a lot of hissing and growling round me.

A wave of fear and depression hit me, and I was sure that I had finally reached the end of my life, when a new development started: the front door was opened so hard it banged off the hinges and an odd assortment of creatures entered. First, two enormous wolves, then Emmett, Carlisle and two other vampires, who got into the fight too fast for me to identify them.

I heard several ripping sounds, like marble being cut by a saw, then the whole thing slowed down enough for me to make out details. The vampires of the guard were all gone. In their stead I saw several heaps of body parts. Seth was still on the ground, as still as he had been when he hit the wall; Rosalie was beside him, looking absolutely desperate, while Emmett stood by, his sad eyes on his wife.

At the other end of the hallway, Peter was cradling Charlotte in his lap, still looking tense. Carlisle was bending down to another vampire who was prostate on the floor. My breath hitched. Please don't let this be Jasper. No matter what he had done with Maria, I did not want to think of him dead. Then I heard his voice. "Maria, give up, you can't get out of this!"

I looked to where his voice had come from and saw him, more torn and dishevelled than he had been before, looking down on us from the stairs leading to Marguerite's flat.

"I thought you knew me better than that, darlin'", Maria drawled at him and pulled me back with her into the big room. Jasper and most of the others followed as did the two wolves who must be Sam and Jacob who looked around the place with big eyes at the two heaps of vampire remains still giving off small waves of smoke.

"Maria, I can promise you a fast end if you give her up now", Jasper addressed her again, circling us like a predator. The wolves growled and came closer as well.

Maria shrugged, and I could feel her cold breath on my neck. She bent my head sideways and I realised she was about to rip her teeth into my flesh. My breath was coming fast and my head started swimming, when I suddenly saw the russet wolf hurtling our way and heard Jasper screaming worse than when Laurent was torturing him. Then I felt like flying and hit the wall. I was engulfed in a pain so excruciating it made me gasp. The breath I drew brought the metallic smell of blood to my nose – of course, the mirrors. When I heard Maria laugh I remembered the danger coming from her and tried to move but I couldn't. It was like in one of those nightmares where you are stuck to the spot and can't get away from the monster. I saw a shadow flit passed my eyes through a veil of blood and heard Jasper roar like an angry lion. Then I must have blacked out.

Jasper's POV

"Is she dead?" Even I could hear my voice sounded deader than I had been for more than a hundred years now.

No answer.

"Carlisle, is she dead?" I had no idea how Carlisle had come to Phoenix. All that interested me at the moment was that my life was lying in the corner of that room like a rag doll, blood all around her from the shards of class which had rained down on her when she crashed into the wall. Everyone but the wolves had had to leave, but I could feel a torrent of emotions coming from just outside the door.

My adoptive father was still checking Bella, and the smell of burning vampire was heavy in the air. I had taken down Maria and someone else must have set her on fire, but even that held no interest for me any longer. "Carlisle!" I finally screamed at him. Sam and Jacob, who had come closer after changing, stepped back at once.

"She is unconscious, there might also be some head injuries, you saw how hard she hit the wall", Carlisle answered finally, bandaging as many of the cuts s he could get to.

I groaned in despair. "How long?" I had some serious apologising to do among other things. I still shuddered at the thought of that kiss I had had to give Maria so that she would let me change Bella rather than do it herself, as well as my unfeeling words, meant to keep her quiet and not infuriate Maria to even greater heights of viciousness and jealousy. I had seen the hurt I caused with that, and I still remembered how Bella had even tried to defend me against Maria. I knew I didn't deserve her, but I could not face life without her. Not even back there with Maria had I felt as powerless as I was feeling now, waiting for those wonderful chocolate eyes to open again. At that moment her eyelids fluttered, and she opened her eyes, looking straight at me. "Jasper!"

I took a deep unneeded breath. "I'm here, darlin', I'm so sorry you had to go through all this and … she blackmailed me, Bella, you have to believe that, she…"

"Jasper", Carlisle interrupted me, "Can you let me examine Bella now? We can't stay here indefinitely. As soon as it's light, people will notice the smoke-stained windows." Of course he was right. We had been extremely lucky so far in that the place had no fire sensors with all the bonfires we'd been having, and there was no way we could explain our presence in the building. I sat back and let Carlisle talk to Bella, deeply grateful that she was still alive and that her first word had been my name not spoken in anger but with love.

I was so deep in thought that it took a while for me to catch on to the uneasiness, then profound pain coming from Carlisle. I met his eyes and was shocked at all the compassion coming from him. What had he found?

Whatever it was, he took a deep breath and then got a syringe from his bag. "I'm sorry, Bella, I need to give you yet another shot." I saw him prick her arm, and empty his syringe into it. She smiled at him. "You can give me a shot anytime, I never feel it!" Carlisle turned away from her so that she could not see his pained expression when he packed up his bag and got up to leave. I was surprised, and when I looked back from him her, my angel had gone to sleep.

"Jasper, I need to talk to you!"

"What did you give her? She said she was fine!" Jacob roared at Carlisle at that moment. I had completely forgotten about him and Sam, but of course he had been watching what went on with eagle eyes. He was about to throw himself at Carlisle but Sam stopped him.

Something was wrong here. I stayed put at Bella's side, not willing to let her out of my eyes again.

Carlisle shook my shoulder. "Jasper, son, I really need to talk to you!"

"Do it here, I'm listening." I had taken Bella's hand and was stroking it gently.

Carlisle sighed and sat down next to me again.

Jacob and Sam made no move to leave, and while that irritated me, Carlisle nodded and motioned for them to sit. "You need to hear this anyway, Sam."

"What is it?" I asked, really scared now.

"Jasper, you are going to have to make a hard choice."

"Why? She said she wasn't in pain", Jacob cut in again. I could tell he was as tense as I was, and nodded to Carlisle to go on.

He turned his kind eyes on me and started talking. "From what I could get from her and from my preliminary exam I strongly suspect she has injured her spinal cord in the fall." When I looked clueless he elaborated. "She broke her neck. There is a good chance she is quadriplegic. She said she couldn't feel pain in her arms and legs, but there are quite a lot of cuts there as you can see, and her right arm is broken in two places."

I swallowed, trying to take in the meaning of his words, but my brain refused to cooperate. "Are you sure?"

"Reasonably. I'm no expert, of course, and there has been a lot of progress, but I think you should consider if this is the life she would want."

"What did you give her?" I was furious at once at the implication I perceived his words to have. Jacob was feeling the same; he was growling and shaking already until Sam calmed him down again.

"I gave her a sedative so we could talk and also something for the pain that is bound to come as soon as her shock wears off."

"Will she die?"

He shook his head. "Not necessarily, but depending on where she is hurt, she might need help breathing. Jasper, you should think about another option right now!"

Realisation of what he meant hit me like a slap in the face. "I… I can't do it, not now, I'm far too thirsty. I would kill her."

"I can do it for you. I know you need her", Carlisle said softly. "Sam, I have a rather big favour to ask of you."

Of course, I mentally slapped myself, the treaty. How would the Quileute react to us breaking it, and with the daughter of one of their friends, too?

Jacob cleared his throat. "Yes?" Sam asked for our benefit. I was sure he knew what was on Jacob's mind through their strange thought line.

"Well", Jacob started in a choked voice. "Sam, I was the one who caused that monster to throw her into the wall. If they can safe her from being dependent on machines, I want it. The chances of us bringing her back home with us were slim in the first place. Sam, please!"

The tall Quileute nodded his ascent putting an arm around Jacob and turned them toward the door.

"Jacob?" I asked.

"I heard her when she woke up, and I saw how she was looking at you."

"Thank you."


	57. Chapter 57

_**first of all thank you, thank you, thank you for staying with me for that long, for taking the time to read, for adding the story to favourites, for reviewing – you rock!**_

_**the bad news…. this is the last chapter, the good news, there will be an epilogue to answer the question still open **___

_**twilight still doesn't belong to me, but I've solved my keyboard problem (ha! r and t gave up on me this morning and that was it!)**_

_**without any further ado….**_

57

Bella's diary

Pain, blinding, searing pain, bolts of lightning coming at me while I was unable to close my eyes, fire burning in every part of me, white hot spikes poking at my skin. Then nothing.

I opened my eyes and looked around me, irritated by how much my vision had changed; everything was so much clearer now as if I had been short-sighted all my life. I was in a bedroom, and from the light coming in through the windows it must be early evening. I sat up in one fluent movement and took in my surroundings. The design of the room was in light beiges and whites, giving the impression of cool in what felt like a South-western environment. I flitted to the window and looked out – yes, definitely Arizona. I liked that. There was a huge bouquet of wildflowers on the windowsill, giving off an almost incredible scent. I shook my head: I had never noticed they smelled that potent. Then my nose picked up something else, a scent so heavenly that I almost fainted. I had to get near that, now! When I turned my head to the source of my pleasure, I saw Jasper sitting in the rocking chair near the bed, chuckling. "I was wondering when you would come round to noticing me", he said with a broad grin.

"Where are we?" I asked confusedly. Oh, was that my voice? Strange.

The next thing I knew was me throwing myself into Jasper's arms and kissing him, which must have gone on for quite a while, because when I opened my eyes again, the sun had gone down and it was dark outside. "Oh…"

"Don't worry, darlin', I don't mind in the least", he said still smiling. "You look absolutely amazing, but then, you already did so before the change."

"Change?" Then the penny dropped. "You changed me? I'm like you?" I checked my arms – yes, definitely the same colour as Jasper's. Someone had dressed me in a white nightgown that looked like something Esme might wear, and when I looked into the mirror on the dresser, I noticed crimson eyes in the face of the beautiful creature who looked back at me with a puzzled frown. That would take some getting used to.

"You don't remember a lot from that last day, do you?" Jasper asked. I shook my head.

"I promise to tell you everything, but maybe you'd like to drink something before that. And the others would also like to see you before we retreat into our little world again."

Drink? Yes, I became aware of a burning in the back of my throat. But blood? Urgh!

Jasper snickered. "Esme thought you might feel that way, so we prepared a few packs of animal blood for you to start with. We can go out to hunt together later." He held out a hand. "Just let them see you for a moment, and then we can talk over breakfast in bed."

"Like the last time?" I smiled at him.

"Yes, please!" He purred but led the way from the first floor bedroom to the living room where the rest of the family was seated in front of a huge open fireplace. Esme and Carlisle came toward me with open arms and after hugging me, they handed me over to Emmett and Rosalie. My friend looked sad though, and Jasper whispered "I'll explain later" into my ear. Another huge vampire got up to greet me and was introduced as Graham.

"Peter and Charlotte will be round later", Jasper said, carrying a tray with a decanter and a glass.

I felt my throat constrict at the sight of the red liquid and followed my lover back to the bedroom where I emptied the decanter in no time. "That was not too bad. Is there more?"

"Greedy little vampire", Jasper kissed my nose. "I'll get you seconds." He was back very fast and watched me devour the refill quickly. "Feeling better?"

I nodded and leaned back against the headboard satisfied. "Now tell me what happened!"

"At once, Ma'am", he drawled settling down next to me. "As soon as I have had my breakfast!" He started kissing my arms, my neck and everything else he could reach. When that proved inadequate, he undressed me to proceed.

It was almost light outside when he finally started telling me what had happened in the last few days.

"So Carlisle changed me?"

"Yes, technically, but he saw how … disappointed I was that it couldn't be me, so we used my venom as well." The look of love he gave me warmed me up, and I'm sure I would have blushed with pleasure and pride about my mate.

"And Maria is definitely gone? She can't hurt you anymore?"

"Yes, darlin', the witch is dead", he smiled. "When she hurt you, I finally found the strength to end her, and there is no regret whatsoever."

I thought back to what I remembered of my last human day. "You were going to stay with her to get me out? Is that what Peter and Charlotte saw and why they attacked?"

Jasper nodded, and I could tell that he still had to come to terms with his friends having been willing to lay down their lives for him. For all the misery of that day, he had probably never felt loved more. I tousled his gorgeous hair. He closed his eyes and purred then continued. "Yes, and Seth Clearwater almost paid with his life for trying to help us."

Right, I remembered him phasing and attacking Maria. I shuddered at the memory. "How is he?"

Jasper looked down. "He has one hell of a concussion, and all the bones in his legs are broken, Carlisle is treating him here. He has had to re-break some bones to prevent their healing crookedly, and for a while it was a draw of who was screaming louder in this house: you or Seth. Emmett feared Rosalie would lose her mind over the whole thing. We all did. It was a close call for a while, and I think she has simply adopted that boy as hers and was not ready to give up on her go at motherhood. She never left his side, she even phoned his mother and explained what had happened and offered a plane ticket to come down. Mrs Clearwater refused though, doesn't want to be near so many vampires. Sam and Jacob assured her that Seth will be alright again." He looked pained.

"Jasper, it wasn't your fault", I said soothingly and stroked his arm.

"Right", he scoffed. "He was just one more person ready to go into battle for me. Damn that bloody charisma! Graham is like him, he was almost torn apart as well…"

"Yes, who is he?" I felt that talking could take Jasper's mind of his bad conscience. He told me about the newest addition to the Cullen clan, and I chuckled at his descriptions. "I think that sounds as if he's making the best out of the situation he found himself tossed in."

"Perhaps", still not convinced.

"What is this place?"

"We had to get a house quick when it became necessary to change you, and luckily for us there was a big ranch-house for sale and ready to take up residence in. Esme has been starting to decorate it, but she was waiting for you to wake up so you could tell her just how you wanted things."

"Why is that?"

He smiled lovingly. "Because she wants to give it to us for your first few years. We're just on the edge of the National Forrest, there's quite a bit of wildlife and it's secluded enough for a wild newborn." He tousled my hair. "And also far enough from prying eyes of men whom you would drive out of their minds before you sucked them dry."

"Ah, so they are not going to stay?" At my disappointed tone I could hear the sound of laughter and whoopee coming from downstairs. Oh dear, they had been able to hear everything that went on up here. That also took some getting used to. "What was that?"

"They had a bet on about that, Emmett just won", Jasper smiled.

I could tell though that there was something he was keeping back, something he was not telling me about. I searched around in my brain for what it could be, when it hit me. "Charlie", I said.

Jasper swallowed and took my hand. "Bella, I'm sorry, we had to think really fast when you were kidnapped by Laurent and Victoria, or we would have had the police on our tracks, so Carlisle and Esme staged an accident with your truck and … He thinks you and I went over a cliff into the Pacific." At first I wondered why they had involved him too, but then I realised that that would explain the fast move of the family away from the place. I knew he was holding his breath for my reaction, and truly I couldn't relieve him as fast as I wanted. I first had to get my head around all the pain that had caused to my dad.

"Bella?" Anxiously.

I took a deep breath. "Yes, I know. It was probably the right thing to do; he wouldn't have let me go, but… Can I never see him again?"

Jasper pulled me against him. "You can try in a few years, but you'd have to be careful, he's… He will be very appetising to you."

I decided to leave that problem for another time and curled into my lover's arms for a while. From downstairs I could still hear the sound of laughter and cheering, then new voices joined the others: Peter and Charlotte had come as well. My new family was here.


	58. Chapter 58

_**yep, still no change about that: twilight still doesn't belong to me, but it was certainly fun to play around with.**_

_**don't forget to leave your thoughts, ideas, opinions – it's been nice hearing from you!**_

_**before I forget: if you start experiencing withdrawal syndromes for my writing, there is a solution at fictionpress under the same penname, book 1 is almost completely on there as well as an appetiser for book 2; as soon as I get some feedback I'll update – promise!**_

Epilog

10 years later

Jasper's POV

Not even once in the past ten years did I regret what led me to Bella. Not once did I want anyone else. With her I have found my peace of mind after such a long time. I have to admit I had been scared about changing her, selfishly, because of the effect her scent had on me, but ultimately there was no way I would give up keeping her forever.

The last ten years have been good to us, and if that is any indication about the future, I hope forever will be as good. We've had to move away from the Arizona house after a while to keep up appearances, but we always enjoy staying there on out way to Texas and visiting Peter and Charlotte. They have since managed to track down the remnants of Maria's army and disbanded it. Carlisle and Esme went along a few times, and predictably ended up with a very young newborn to take care of. I was sceptic at first, but I have to admit that Bree really is a darling girl, who probably has a better life with us than she ever had before. They don't grieve about Edward anymore either – I think in a way Bree was the solution to their grief.

Rosalie and Emmett have been going back and forth between us and Washington State to keep an eye on Seth, who proved to be a model son to Rosalie as well as his real mother. Rosalie insisted on putting him through College, and he compromised by starting out that way and getting a scholarship in the first year. Needless to say, the college he picked for grad school is WestPoint, and of course he got in. Naturally we'll be there when he graduates in a year, and I'm sure Rosalie is going to spontaneously combust when he's getting married right after to his girlfriend of the last eight years.

Lately Graham has been joining them on their trips to visit Seth, and yesterday he confessed that he has been courting Seth's sister for the last two years – no success yet, but he is very determined.

For us these visits have provided some glimpses into how Bella's father was doing, and finally things are looking up in that respect as well. After Harry Clearwater passed away three years ago, he has been spending a lot of time with his widow, and Rosalie snickered that Seth would have to go to another wedding before getting married himself.

Bella has been secretive lately, I know she's planning something for our tenth anniversary, but I will have to wait for the day itself, because no one is blabbing, no matter how much trust I throw at them. Even Peter managed to keep his mouth shut, he only told me that I was going to like it, and that it was not dangerous for Bella or me. Hmpf!

On the day in question I was still grumbling slightly about my inability to sniff out the secret, but Bella's smile compensated me of course. She looked so eager to get going that I could not refuse her anything, not even the blindfold she put over my eyes.

After a three hour drive she stopped the car and removed the fabric from my eyes. I swallowed. I knew this place, or better, I had known it more than a century ago. She had brought me to the farm of my family. Much had been modernised, a wing added to the old house, obviously, but it was still a fully working farm, and I could see there was another rocking chair on the porch. I was so shocked by what I saw in front of me, that Bella had to shake me. "Jasper? Please, don't contradict me in anything I say, ok?" I nodded, still dumbstruck when I got out of the car.

The day was overcast – a good thing, on a sunny Texas day we would have been in trouble – and when we walked toward the house we saw a tall lean man getting up from the rocking chair. "Y'all must be the people from the historical somethin' or other that my daughter told me about. Come in and rest your legs." He looked about eighty at least, but held himself upright with the pride of someone who was content with his lot in life. He led the way to the kitchen where we met a young woman with her blond hair in one long braid down her back, who had just finished preparing ice-tea. She shook our hands and introduced herself as Charlene Fawcett. "And this here is my granddad, John Mellor, who can tell you everything you need to know about the farm's history."

The old man shook our hands, and I thought I could detect a slightly quizzical look when his eyes met mine. Then he shook his head and started telling us about the Whitlock Farm as it was still known around the county.

"Why Whitlock if you're called Mellor?" Bella asked smiling sweetly.

"Well, it was the Whitlock farm for more than seventy years when the first Mellor took over. The Whitlocks had lost their only son in the War Between the States – the youngest Major in the Texas Cavalry he was – and my great-grandfather married their oldest girl, a real beauty." He motioned to his granddaughter who obliged him at once and got an old photo album from the Welsh dresser. He opened it with practised hands and showed us a wedding picture of my sister. I cleared my throat, laying eyes on my family for the first time again after more than 150 years.

The old man went on about the history of the farm and took us on a rollercoaster of a ride through the fortunes of American farming in the twentieth century. Bella asked pertinent questions – I could tell she had done her research – while I leafed through the pages of the album to look at pictures of my family through the ages, finding similarities of my sisters, my parents and myself in every face I saw.

When he took a breath, I cut in: "What happened to the other girl?"

Mr Mellor had to think back for a while, then he looked up. "Oh, she married one of those passin' pioneers. They were off to Oregon or Washington State or somewhere. Swan, I think his name was, which my grandma always thought kind of funny as he was so black haired and all…" He laughed at the old family joke, and Bella squeezed my hand. I had to concentrate really hard to keep my emotions in check, or I would be projecting all over the place, joy mostly, wonder and gratefulness for all I had been given today.

Yet there still was one thing that bothered me. "And that brother, the young Major, did you hear anymore about him?" Bella looked at me confused, but I sent some reassurance to her.

Suddenly the granddaughter snickered. "Come on, granddad; tell 'em about the family ghost!"

"Now, Charlene, that ain't a fit way to be talkin' about your ancestors, is it?"

"Oh, but we'd be very interested, the association is always looking for colourful anecdotes from the past…" Bella fluttered her eyelashes at the old man and he melted.

"Oh well", he sighed. "Mind you, that's all some old ghost story my grandma used to tell us kids when we were bein' naughty. She said when she was a young girl, the Major came to the house one night, lookin' just like he had when he had gone off to war, even though it was now more than ten years later. He brought a beautiful woman with him, who then turned out to be some kind of a banshee, turning all strange and impolite. The legend goes she told him to kill his family or she would let him starve. They were all quite scared at first, grandma said, but then, as she told it, they suddenly became all calm and happy, and the Major bundled up the woman and left with her. When the family went a-lookin' for them, they found no tracks or horses or wagons, which they must have had to be gone that fast. Later they checked back if there had been a mistake about the Major's death, but were told that Jasper Whitlock had died at the siege of Galveston in 1863. They blamed it on the weather, back then. I blame it on moonshine, but grandma always insisted that her mother had seen her brother sittin' in that there chair as clearly as I see you. There, you got your ghost story." He ended with a flourish, but looked a bit exhausted by now.

His granddaughter gave us a signal, so Bella made a show of looking at her watch, and we got up and made our good-byes to let him get some rest.

When we got to the car, my hands were still shaking, and Bella got in the driver's seat at once. She drove us some distance, and then stopped the car. "Jasper, are you alright? I thought it would be good for you to find out what had happened to them. And about the Swan connection." She smiled mischievously.

"Yes, you're right." I paused, not sure how to tell her what was on my mind. "Bella, you have no idea how much that meant to me. I…" I swallowed. "I thought I had killed them that night. Maria always told me I had, and it was just one more indication of the kind of monster I had become…" Whenever I was on withdrawal or thirsty beyond control the pictures that Maria had planted in my brain about that night had resurfaced – one and a half centuries' worth of nightmare with no basis to begin with.

"No, Jasper, it was just an indication of the monster she was. You could never have done that, love." She looked into my eyes lovingly.

I pulled her into my lap and revelled in her scent, which had become even more potent with the change. "You have brought me home, Bella, finally. Thank you, darlin'."

**the end**

**A/N: OK, that was it. I've got another idea for a fanfic, it came to me in a dream, and obviously while dreaming it was absolutely logical. It has to be reviewed in the cold light of day though, i think… so: watch my profile, I'll keep you posted. **


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